[text]

[complicatedliar]

[The message comes in from a seemingly unknown device (thank you Delta) with the only name on it as GHIDORAH.]

Well hello, hello, friends and foes, boxers and briefs.

If you'd asked me yesterday if I thought I'd end up on an alien planet with a day that runs longer than Ben Hur, trapped in a spaceship full of stranger's farts flavored with protein paste, I would've told you to stop being an asshole and share those obviously superior drugs you were on. Yet here we all are.

Since I know nobody's busy right now, how about some homework from Uncle Ghidorah?

1) Name the one food you wish you had here most.

2) Explain the plot of your favorite movie/whatever they call entertainment on your shithole planet in exactly seven words.

3) [This space left intentionally blank]

4) Fuck/Marry/Kill (you only get to use people here because otherwise you might as well be tellings us about your imaginary friends)

5) You're the main character in the last book you read. How fucked are you?

Hail to the king, baby.

Comments

Text As Well

[doubled_speed]

and award for the first trollish use of the network goes to, drumroll please? whoever this fuck is! the crowd is in awe!

except not.

noodles, all the heroes die at the end, sooo not playing fmk with you, and i haven't read books in a while so i think i'm probably safe even though the main characters clearly wanna be me.

[complicatedliar]

My dude, if this is what passes for trolling on your internet, you gotta get a better breed of troll.

But if you want to tell us more about how over everything you are cause you're way too cool for dumb games, I'm sure everyone is super interested.

text | un: leprechaun

[alaspooryork]

[Oh, why not. He's bored enough.]

1. The barbecue jackfruit tacos from Tasty's Tacos, although I would accept any similar substitute.

2. The Tempest, only Ariel is a robot.

3. [redacted]

4. I do not know sufficient people here well enough to say.

5. If nonfiction, I would be dead of the dysthrophe virus, or possibly infected by it but still alive as a space zombie. If fiction, I would at least have access to an FTL engine and control over its destination, which is better than the current situation.

text | un: leprechaun

[complicatedliar]

[Well, if Delta is going to answer, he'll mess with him a bit. Have to keep up appearances, after all.]

1. Uh oh, vegetarian alert.

2. Uh oh, nerd alert.

3. [redacted] [redacted]

4. This is such a fucking cop out.

5. Fiction > Nonfiction, always. Nonfiction is boring.

audio

[waywardking]

[Ghidorah means nothing to him, so it could be a name or a pseudonym. He doesn't really care.]

One, food. I'm not gonna say I'll do anything, but I'll do a lot for an actual roast beef sandwich.

Two. Five good monsters fight many evil monsters. [Justice Monsters does its best for a movie series based off of an arcade game.]

Three, what? [Did his text-to-speech mess up or was that supposed to be like that?]

Four, no.

Five, probably better off than I am now.

text

[complicatedliar]

1. Not bad. Though with some good au jus, I hope.

2. Since when are monsters good? I thought that was like... the whole point of monsters.

3. Password-protected.

4. I am surrounded by wimps.

5. That must have been a low-drama book. Maybe a light romance?

text;;

[reconstitution]

1. vodka

2. performer travels for wedding, meets beautiful dancer.

3.

4. first two are the same person, third is myself.

5. I'm Miss Marple, I'm pretty goddamn set.

Re: text;;

[complicatedliar]

1. Drinking your dinner. I like your style.

2. Okay, I'm all in. I'm a sucker for beautiful dancers.

3. [no longer present]

4. Okay, so (A) what kind of world would be if people married the people they wanted to fuck? honestly. (B) dude r u ok

5. It means you also have a fantastic collection of hats. A+.

[stillgotmyleftarm]

Are you boxers or briefs, is what I wanna know.

[complicatedliar]

Oh, someone's a little cheeky.

Never ask a Scotsman what's under his kilt, cupcake. Unless you really want to find out.

Text;

[kallig]

[You know what, he's very nearly losing his mind, so whatever.]

1.) I'd settle for my stash of ration bars, as I do not particularly have any foods I like or dislike.

2.) The only entertainment available to me on my home planet was the more-often-than-they-should-happen cantina brawls. I've been invited to operas a few times, but I've never gone. Had I gone, there would be a story of absolute carnage for me to summarize, I suppose.

3.)

4.) No.

And 5.) The last thing I read was a book on tax law, so I either it's inapplicable, or I'd be the most bored protagonist in the history of the galaxy.

Re: Text;

[complicatedliar]

1. Ration bars? Yikes. Are you like part rodent? We could find some cardboard for you to gnaw on, and it'd be pretty similar in flavor.

2. I'm getting a sort of absolute carnage theme out of all of this. If only I could introduce you to the WWE.

4. Weeeeeeeenieeeeeeeee

5. Please, I gotta know, how does the tax law match up with the carnage?

text

[art_of_war]

[ Answering out of equal parts curiosity and boredom. ]

1) It is less a food I will miss but a drink. Specifically the various types of beer found in various systems. I've been collecting them for years,

2)A treatise on military tactics and strategy

3)

4) I choose not to respond to this at all

5) Since I often do not have time to read for pleasure, I can not think of what the plot of the last book I read was

Re: text

[complicatedliar]

1. Not a bad choice. Nothing like a cold beer on a hot-ass day, right? Though now I gotta wonder if you've got something like IPAs floating around in your neck of the galaxy. Hoppy, bitter, good shit even if the hipsters are trying to ruin it.

2. So you're more of a documentary guy, huh.

4. BOOOOOOOORING

5. That is just sad. And the only thing fucking sadder than everyone who apparently DOESN'T READ here is that there's no frigging library.

[jadzia]

1. What I'm really missing is a good raktajino.

2. Avenging family through underworld adventure, unites empire.

3. ▩▩▩ ▩▩▩ ▩▩▩▩

4. Yes/Please/Thank You. But if I had to name names, maybe... Steve. Julian. Whoever thought it was a good idea to lock me in a ship.

5. I have to contend with my family in order to be with the one I love but things work out in the end. [ Because of course Jadzia loves to read trashy interspecies romance novels for fun. ]

[stillgotmyleftarm]

Steve is a pretty good-looking guy.

[complicatedliar]

1. Haven't heard of thart one. You know an earth equivalent for this sad little not-well-traveled dude?

2. Okay, that sounds fun. What kind of underworld we talking--the criminal kind or the whoops we're dead kind?

4. We've never even met and already I'm a little in love with you in a totally nonironic way because you know how to play the damn game.

5. Do I smell... trashy romance? :-D

From account: SteveRogers because he's a dud.

[brooklyn_boy]

1. A good, New York eggcream.

2. First Animated Movie About Very Pale Princess

3. ?

4. This is a terrible question. I don't want to disclose publicly the first nor do I wish to kill anyone. I guess down the line I'd want to marry Bucky. If we got to that point. And he wanted to. There's a lot that goes into decisions like that.

5. I read the autobiography of JFK so I guess I'm pretty doomed.

[doubled_speed]

His full answer list on 4 is Fuck Stark, Marry Bucky, Kill Red Skull.

Text;;

[reconstitution]

Unless you were on the other side of that gun, you are fucked.

Re: From account: SteveRogers because he's a dud.

[complicatedliar]

1. Whoa there grandpa, don't get too excited.

2. If we're talking mid-to-late twentieth century Earth, that's a wide open field.

3. !

4. You are so wrong. It's the best fucking question ever and you totally proved it. :-D

4a. Making well-thought-out decisions is TOTALLY overrated.

5. Y I K E S nice knowing you dude.

[tempredmental]

wait who is this?

[AKA: Keith doesn't do internet games...]

[complicatedliar]

Okay do you not know how to read and you're just using text to speech?

video - she hasn't figured out how to do anything else

[tingmoonshadowpowers]

[Have an extreme closeup of her face as she studies the communicator.]

How does this thing work?

[Now have her fingertip as she pokes at the screen.]

text

[complicatedliar]

Have you tried balancing it on your head?

text

[wearingthestars]

1. Right now, pizza.
2.Nazis suck. Kids sing. Nuns kick butt.
3.
4. I'm engaged/I'm engaged/Avengers don't kill
5. The series isn't done yet, so I don't know. Probably pretty fucked.

Re: text

[complicatedliar]

1. All purpose, good for any occasion, can be dressed up or dressed down, excellent choice.

2. THE HILLS ARE ALIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE

4. I mean, if you say so?

5. Here is your golden opportunity to write some fanfiction and unfuck yourself in the best way possible, amirite