[text]

[complicatedliar]

[The message comes in from a seemingly unknown device (thank you Delta) with the only name on it as GHIDORAH.]

Well hello, hello, friends and foes, boxers and briefs.

If you'd asked me yesterday if I thought I'd end up on an alien planet with a day that runs longer than Ben Hur, trapped in a spaceship full of stranger's farts flavored with protein paste, I would've told you to stop being an asshole and share those obviously superior drugs you were on. Yet here we all are.

Since I know nobody's busy right now, how about some homework from Uncle Ghidorah?

1) Name the one food you wish you had here most.

2) Explain the plot of your favorite movie/whatever they call entertainment on your shithole planet in exactly seven words.

3) [This space left intentionally blank]

4) Fuck/Marry/Kill (you only get to use people here because otherwise you might as well be tellings us about your imaginary friends)

5) You're the main character in the last book you read. How fucked are you?

Hail to the king, baby.

Comments

[doubled_speed]

His full answer list on 4 is Fuck Stark, Marry Bucky, Kill Red Skull.

[brooklyn_boy]

I WOULD NOT HAVE SEX WITH TONY!

[doubled_speed]

yeah man you've got serious ust there

[brooklyn_boy]

Are you trying to say 'lust'?

It doesn't matter. Tony and I are friends.

Were friends.

I don't want to have sex with him!

[doubled_speed]

dude just because i responded to you in less than a second doesn't mean i mistyped
ust
u.s.t.
unresolved sexual tension

[brooklyn_boy]

I'm pretty sure none of our tension is sexual and a lot of it got resolved when we beat each other bloody.

Besides. He's not here so that's against the rule of this question anyway.

[doubled_speed]

ah fight sex. best stuff. but fine, you want people here?

fuck another bucky and kill loki

[brooklyn_boy]

Still wrong.

I consider Loki a friend. I have no interest in killing him.

[doubled_speed]

so fuck loki too? damn cap, i know some people are in to ice-play, but that's kinky.

[wearingthestars]

OMG Tommy, you can not call Captain America kinky. It's like a LAW.

[doubled_speed]

dude just because you and teddy are clearly vanilla as hell doesn't mean that cap can't be the kinkiest fucker out there
they say the more clean cut the guy
the kinkier they get

[brooklyn_boy]

I WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH NO ONE BUT BUCKY, ALRIGHT?

[doubled_speed]

well then go hop to it cap spangles. i'm sure he's waiting for you. oh right, can't. stupid metal boats.
okay cap, welcome to the 20th century, time to learn about video-call sex

[brooklyn_boy]

EXCUSE me?

[doubled_speed]

you're excused

[wearingthestars]

Clearly? Do you really wanna get into that?

[doubled_speed]

dude you're just a vanilla guy
which is weird because you know you've got the biggest potential for kink there
like you could get tentacles or monsterfucking or just big and green

[wearingthestars]

I'm very aware of the potential...

[doubled_speed]

yeah the theory but probably not the practice

[complicatedliar]

Okay but if government can exist without laws but no law can exist without the government and we're basically an anarchic collective here...

NO LAW

[doubled_speed]

i really like you, troll

[complicatedliar]

Smooches to you, junior troll.

[doubled_speed]

and one day when i grow up i'll be a senior troll

[complicatedliar]

the troll torch will be passed

[doubled_speed]

sadly troll torches give off no heat