[text]

[complicatedliar]

[The message comes in from a seemingly unknown device (thank you Delta) with the only name on it as GHIDORAH.]

Well hello, hello, friends and foes, boxers and briefs.

If you'd asked me yesterday if I thought I'd end up on an alien planet with a day that runs longer than Ben Hur, trapped in a spaceship full of stranger's farts flavored with protein paste, I would've told you to stop being an asshole and share those obviously superior drugs you were on. Yet here we all are.

Since I know nobody's busy right now, how about some homework from Uncle Ghidorah?

1) Name the one food you wish you had here most.

2) Explain the plot of your favorite movie/whatever they call entertainment on your shithole planet in exactly seven words.

3) [This space left intentionally blank]

4) Fuck/Marry/Kill (you only get to use people here because otherwise you might as well be tellings us about your imaginary friends)

5) You're the main character in the last book you read. How fucked are you?

Hail to the king, baby.

Comments

[doubled_speed]

ah fight sex. best stuff. but fine, you want people here?

fuck another bucky and kill loki

[brooklyn_boy]

Still wrong.

I consider Loki a friend. I have no interest in killing him.

[doubled_speed]

so fuck loki too? damn cap, i know some people are in to ice-play, but that's kinky.

[wearingthestars]

OMG Tommy, you can not call Captain America kinky. It's like a LAW.

[doubled_speed]

dude just because you and teddy are clearly vanilla as hell doesn't mean that cap can't be the kinkiest fucker out there
they say the more clean cut the guy
the kinkier they get

[brooklyn_boy]

I WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH NO ONE BUT BUCKY, ALRIGHT?

[doubled_speed]

well then go hop to it cap spangles. i'm sure he's waiting for you. oh right, can't. stupid metal boats.
okay cap, welcome to the 20th century, time to learn about video-call sex

[brooklyn_boy]

EXCUSE me?

[doubled_speed]

you're excused

[brooklyn_boy]

I am not discussing video sex with you. I'm aware of what it is.

[He has no idea.]

[doubled_speed]

then get on with it spangles

[brooklyn_boy]

This is inappropriate.

[stillgotmyleftarm]

You know, these ships don’t have much privacy for that kind of thing.

[He’s... kind of coming to your rescue, Steve? Sort of.

This is why he suggested sexting instead.]

[doubled_speed]

then come on with the sexting, like, you deserve that much cap scruffy

[stillgotmyleftarm]

Hey pal, I tried.

Also, who the fuck are you calling scruffy, speedy.

[wearingthestars]

Clearly? Do you really wanna get into that?

[doubled_speed]

dude you're just a vanilla guy
which is weird because you know you've got the biggest potential for kink there
like you could get tentacles or monsterfucking or just big and green

[wearingthestars]

I'm very aware of the potential...

[doubled_speed]

yeah the theory but probably not the practice

[wearingthestars]

...😏

[doubled_speed]

u mad bro?

[wearingthestars]

You can think I'm vanilla. Probably better for Teddy's well being if you don't know the things he gets up to with your little bro.

[doubled_speed]

he better be a fucking gentleman or i'm blowing his arm off

[complicatedliar]

Okay but if government can exist without laws but no law can exist without the government and we're basically an anarchic collective here...

NO LAW

[doubled_speed]

i really like you, troll