[text]

[complicatedliar]

[The message comes in from a seemingly unknown device (thank you Delta) with the only name on it as GHIDORAH.]

Well hello, hello, friends and foes, boxers and briefs.

If you'd asked me yesterday if I thought I'd end up on an alien planet with a day that runs longer than Ben Hur, trapped in a spaceship full of stranger's farts flavored with protein paste, I would've told you to stop being an asshole and share those obviously superior drugs you were on. Yet here we all are.

Since I know nobody's busy right now, how about some homework from Uncle Ghidorah?

1) Name the one food you wish you had here most.

2) Explain the plot of your favorite movie/whatever they call entertainment on your shithole planet in exactly seven words.

3) [This space left intentionally blank]

4) Fuck/Marry/Kill (you only get to use people here because otherwise you might as well be tellings us about your imaginary friends)

5) You're the main character in the last book you read. How fucked are you?

Hail to the king, baby.

Comments

[doubled_speed]

well then go hop to it cap spangles. i'm sure he's waiting for you. oh right, can't. stupid metal boats.
okay cap, welcome to the 20th century, time to learn about video-call sex

[brooklyn_boy]

EXCUSE me?

[doubled_speed]

you're excused

[brooklyn_boy]

I am not discussing video sex with you. I'm aware of what it is.

[He has no idea.]

[doubled_speed]

then get on with it spangles

[brooklyn_boy]

This is inappropriate.

[stillgotmyleftarm]

You know, these ships don’t have much privacy for that kind of thing.

[He’s... kind of coming to your rescue, Steve? Sort of.

This is why he suggested sexting instead.]

[doubled_speed]

then come on with the sexting, like, you deserve that much cap scruffy

[stillgotmyleftarm]

Hey pal, I tried.

Also, who the fuck are you calling scruffy, speedy.

[brooklyn_boy]

I love you for trying.

[stillgotmyleftarm]

And you know I don't actually care if you're not into it.

[brooklyn_boy]

Never said that...

[stillgotmyleftarm]

True. Only when it's gonna give you blue balls, right?

[Your bf is so polite and proper, Steve.]

[brooklyn_boy]

Only when I can't touch you at all for days.

I can't help but feel like touching is entirely the point of intimacy...

[stillgotmyleftarm]

I mean, you're not wrong. Sometimes you just gotta make do.

Think we're almost done, at least. Counter's still counting down.

[brooklyn_boy]

Yeah. Almost there. I can't wait.

[doubled_speed]

would you rather be cap scruffy or cap huffy?

[stillgotmyleftarm]

We can't just go with my name?

[doubled_speed]

not the way it works

[stillgotmyleftarm]

It's the same number of letters - or less.

And I'm not scruffy. That's the other one. Gotta admit, he pulls it off, though.

[brooklyn_boy]

Definitely does.

[stillgotmyleftarm]

What can I say, I can pull off more than one look.

[brooklyn_boy]

You can pull off anything

[God help us all, Steve is flirting.]

[doubled_speed]

you're scruffy and i definitely think you're benefiting from it

[stillgotmyleftarm]

I'd say Steve has a type, but Carter wasn't scruffy, either. We both look damn good under pressure.