[text]

[complicatedliar]

[The message comes in from a seemingly unknown device (thank you Delta) with the only name on it as GHIDORAH.]

Well hello, hello, friends and foes, boxers and briefs.

If you'd asked me yesterday if I thought I'd end up on an alien planet with a day that runs longer than Ben Hur, trapped in a spaceship full of stranger's farts flavored with protein paste, I would've told you to stop being an asshole and share those obviously superior drugs you were on. Yet here we all are.

Since I know nobody's busy right now, how about some homework from Uncle Ghidorah?

1) Name the one food you wish you had here most.

2) Explain the plot of your favorite movie/whatever they call entertainment on your shithole planet in exactly seven words.

3) [This space left intentionally blank]

4) Fuck/Marry/Kill (you only get to use people here because otherwise you might as well be tellings us about your imaginary friends)

5) You're the main character in the last book you read. How fucked are you?

Hail to the king, baby.

Comments

[reconstitution]

Not going to ask them for anything.

I know better than that.

[brooklyn_boy]

Honestly the best policy. I wanted a mattress but God knows what I'd end up saddled with.

[reconstitution]

In a word? Bedbugs.

[brooklyn_boy]

Never again.

Bedbugs. Christ, nothing worse than those little mites.

[reconstitution]

Could be worse. It could be freezing.

[brooklyn_boy]

You know you just jinxed us, right?

[reconstitution]

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[brooklyn_boy]

I hate you.

[reconstitution]

Uh-huh sure.

[brooklyn_boy]

It's gonna pour snow and we're all gonna freeze. And my last words will be 'Damn you, Buck'

[reconstitution]

Yeah, sounds about right.

[brooklyn_boy]

Taking the 'Winter' name real seriously.

[reconstitution]

Cold isn't the worst way to go.

[brooklyn_boy]

How about cold and drowning?

[reconstitution]

Not great.

[brooklyn_boy]

Yeah. Trust me, I know that one firsthand.

But I guess you do a bit, too.

Man, we're messed up.

[reconstitution]

Ya think??

I can blame brainwashing. What's your excuse?

[ Winter...jokes don't translate well via text. You know this... ]

[brooklyn_boy]

Shit friends.

[ Yeah, well. He's learning to understand it. ]

[reconstitution]

Wow, Sam is a saint.

[brooklyn_boy]

Can't argue with that.

Everything's made better in the new millennium.

[reconstitution]

Yeah, that's fair.

No polio.

[brooklyn_boy]

And some people don't want to get their vaccines.

I can't believe it.

[reconstitution]

Still can't fix stupid.

[brooklyn_boy]

And here I thought you took it all with you.

[reconstitution]

Ha ha. Who knew, Captain America's a comedian.