revivalproject

[The message comes in from a seemingly unknown device (thank you Delta) with the only name on it as GHIDORAH.]

Well hello, hello, friends and foes, boxers and briefs.

If you'd asked me yesterday if I thought I'd end up on an alien planet with a day that runs longer than Ben Hur, trapped in a spaceship full of stranger's farts flavored with protein paste, I would've told you to stop being an asshole and share those obviously superior drugs you were on. Yet here we all are.

Since I know nobody's busy right now, how about some homework from Uncle Ghidorah?

1) Name the one food you wish you had here most.

2) Explain the plot of your favorite movie/whatever they call entertainment on your shithole planet in exactly seven words.

3) [This space left intentionally blank]

4) Fuck/Marry/Kill (you only get to use people here because otherwise you might as well be tellings us about your imaginary friends)

5) You're the main character in the last book you read. How fucked are you?

Hail to the king, baby.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

1. Ration bars? Yikes. Are you like part rodent? We could find some cardboard for you to gnaw on, and it'd be pretty similar in flavor.

2. I'm getting a sort of absolute carnage theme out of all of this. If only I could introduce you to the WWE.

4. Weeeeeeeenieeeeeeeee

5. Please, I gotta know, how does the tax law match up with the carnage?

Resource hoarder is more like it- ration bars last a long time, and what they lack in flavor, they make up for in balanced nutrition. All in all, they're good to have.

... You could always explain this WWE to me. Not that I'm so fond of violence really, but it is something of a trend where I'm from.

...

The society I come from is violent, but there's still politics to consider. Knowing a thing or two about tax law and such was helpful during the last budget meeting I attended. Not that it ended so well. Budget meetings devolving into screaming matches or literal fights was common too.

The WWE is like... a play with a loose script where people hit each other with chairs. There's heroes and villains and people getting clotheslined.

It's kind of depressing to think that taxes really are fucking universal.

Sounds fun.

Probably wouldn't take off in the Sith Empire though. Sith entertainment is more... If someone doesn't at least get maimed, was anyone truly entertained, I suppose.

[Not that he agrees, obviously, given that he sees violence as a tool rather than a means of amusement.]

I suppose it is. Someone, somewhere, starts working on filing their taxes and a tax collector gains his wings.

The Sith sound like a laugh riot. Never heard about them before now. How big an empire we talking?

A decent size, I suppose. Several systems are under Imperial control, and even more habitable planets- at least a hundred, if not more. And like Empires tend to- always looking to expand.

Darth Ravage would have a better answer for you, but thank the stars and all that is good in the world he isn't here, or we'd all need earplugs from his constant screaming.

Shit man if that qualifies as a "decent size" I'd love to know what big is. Though I guess if Risk taught me anything, it's that Empires can only get so big before they start eating themselves and then Australia's gotta be a turd.

He's got a great name, though.

I have no idea what those are, but considering the size of the universe, I'd say the Empire could grow a bit more, before it would be considered big.

Not that I don't take your point.

[Between the infighting between the Sith, the political games, their Emperor being what he is, and the way the Sith see the non-humans of the Empire... The fact that the Empire is falling in on itself is something he's been aware of for a while now.

Nothing he really needs to consider now though.]

And congratulations, you pointed out the only good thing about him. Beyond his name he's a yappy little hound of a Sith Lord.

That's one heck of a scale. But I guess more territory, more resources, more horrible, oppressive behavior that will eventually cause the downfall of the power structure as everything inevitably spins out of control with middle fingers extended. Though I can only speak to how this shit works on my home planet.

Well, they always say that no one's 100% bad. That's his 0.0001% of not bad, I guess.

Well, I suppose you aren't wrong. Would not be the first time the Empire has fallen, that's for sure. Not that I appreciate the thought very much. Call it appreciation for my people, I suppose.

And ha. Yes. I suppose so. Not that I think Ravage is his true name, or anything. Merely his title.

I'm pretty impressed if an Empire has fallen and managed to get its shit back together and rise again. That's sure something I've never seen. (Or I mean, again on my home planet, it's not actually the same Empire but they pretend it is since it sounds better when you can spew off more names in your lineage.) Who are your people, btw?

That's not a bad title. Mine's "King." :)

Sith are nothing if not tenacious and if even one survives, chances are, the Empire will rise again. One year, or a thousand- it matters not.

And my people are the people of the Empire- Purebloods, humans, aliens. Can't really limit it to a single species.

"King". Shall I take that literally, then? Bend the knee should we meet in person?

Kind of interesting how that list comes out, though--humans, aliens. Because that's a human viewpoint, right? If you're not human, then humans are the aliens. And now you got me real curious: what counts as a pureblood?

I prefer a nice curtsey, myself. :)

Humans are in the majority, not only in the Empire, but throughout the galaxy, and thus normally listed first-- depending on where you're from, probably. Don't have to like it, that's just how it is. Especially if you're raised in the Empire. I'm an alien, myself.

By Pureblood, I mean Sith Pureblood. As I've had it put to me before- a crimson race of conquerors, and the very foundation of the Sith Empire and the Sith Order. Most enjoy a privileged position, regardless of whether or not it is actually deserved.

And I'll keep that in mind.

Woo, cockroaches of the universe! We may not be good at much, but we are good a fuckin. Go team human!

So Sith's a kind of alien?

What is a "cockroach"?

And I doubt that they'd appreciate being called that, considering the level of privilege they have-- being called an alien might make them fear getting the same treatment as the rest of us-, but yes.

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