Blood In My Sight

[doubled_speed]

WHO: Tommy & Kyle
WHERE:
WHAT: Tommy needs to calm down
WHEN: 6/26, After yelling at Billy and threatening Riley
WARNINGS: CW: discussions of torture and experimentation on children

This was too much. His anger was still roaring, his blood pounding in his ears, his thoughts running too fast for even him to catch up to. And Tommy just had to do what he could to calm down. He'd tried his island and stopped that when he's knocked into a tree with too much force. It fell over and he knew he was going to bruise badly from it. Then dove into the water to cool off.

Even that wasn't enough so he did the next best thing he could. He took off to find the only person he could talk to right now.

Which was showing up at Kyle's room at the hotel. Doesn't even bother to knock, or even open the door. Just vibes through.

"Kyle," he called, shocked by how raw his voice was from his distress.

Comments

[kyley_b]

Kyle stays quiet, arms around Tommy's waist. He sighs and shifts to kiss the spot just below his ear.

"It's okay."

[doubled_speed]

The kiss earns a pleased sigh. The comfort is good, and he welcomes it. It wasn't common for someone to offer it so freely.

"I haven't told anyone all of it. Wanda has heard some of it, she sorta came upon it when we shared a dream."

[kyley_b]

"Why not? It hurts too much?"

[doubled_speed]

"I spent years being tormented, Kyle," he answered, his voice soft. "Kyle, the things I went through no one should go through."

[kyley_b]

"No, nobody should," he agrees quietly. "I'm sorry it happened.

"But I don't think your brother knows. Does he? How bad it got. The both of you have been hurt badly, and it's like... you can understand each other."

[doubled_speed]

Understand... he doesn't want Billy to understand.

"He doesn't have a lot of scars, from our time as heroes. I had a lot before I even met him. I got lucky, my body heals enough, fast enough, that the scars I had, they've faded to almost nothing. That's how much my body changes."

[kyley_b]

"But the Atroma... not all scars are physical, and you know that. I dunno, dude, I just think you ought to be honest with him. Because he needs someone who gets it. And so do you."

[doubled_speed]

"I think if he knew what all happened to me, he'd break," Tommy whispered.

He knew his brother was strong, but this? This was more than anyone should have to know.

[kyley_b]

"You have to give him at least the choice, dude. If he wants to know or not. You'd want that if it were you."

[doubled_speed]

"And if I'm too scared to share it?" Tommy asked, his voice shaking.

[kyley_b]

Kyle smoothed a hand gently up Tommy's arm. "Then you don't have to. You don't. I think you should, but that doesn't matter."

He lowers his face to kiss Tommy's neck softly. "It's okay to be scared, dude."

[doubled_speed]

"I'm not scared," Tommy protests, even if he is. The lies is a comfort in the moment.

"I hate this. I hate my history. I wish it wasn't real."

[kyley_b]

"I know. But you're here, and you're you. I think that's pretty amazing." He kisses his cheek.

[doubled_speed]

The affection is definitely overcoming him. And Tommy leans in to kiss Kyle back, light as hell, on the man's temple. He doesn't know what to do.

"I didn't choose to be here."

[kyley_b]

"Nobody did," Kyle points out. "Nobody chooses a lot of what happens to us. That's what makes living so scary. We don't really control shit, besides our reactions."

[doubled_speed]

"My reactions were horrible. I tried to kill people when Billy and his team broke me out."

And another kiss to Kyle's forehead.

[kyley_b]

"Yeah," Kyle says. "I'm not saying that was good. But that's what they'd been grooming you to be. And I bet you were confused, and scared."

Kyle shifts, kissing Tommy's lips very softly.

"I bet you were freaking out."

[doubled_speed]

"I wasn't confused. I wasn't scared. I was angry. I wanted revenge. I wanted them to suffer," Tommy answered. Except there it was, a kiss keeping his brain grounded.

That's good.

"I wanted to kill everyone."

[kyley_b]

Kyle hums and kisses him again, more firmly.

"I can understand the impulse."

[doubled_speed]

Can he? Tommy enjoyed the firmness of that kiss, his eyes closing for a moment to enjoy the contact before responding.

"They had to stop me, my team. They said they came for a hero, not a villain."

[kyley_b]

"No offense to your team, but fuck them," Kyle says irritably. "Real nice. 'I know you've been through hell but you're being a jerk.' Pretty fucking insensitive."

He runs his fingers up Tommy's arm. "Have you ever killed anyone?"

[doubled_speed]

"THey were there to get someone to help them save Teddy. They were kids and the idea of watching some kid in juvie, when they didn't know what was going on there, trying to kill his captors... I respect their choice."

Had he ever killed someone. What a question to ask. He even had to curl up against Kyle more tightly to hide his face, his shame.

"Yes. I just... I didn't know it until later."

[kyley_b]

Kyle shrugs. "Still not impressed with their wording," he says.

Kyle gets his fingers over Tommy's chin and tilts it up.

"I have, too," he admits.

[doubled_speed]

"You're free to lecture Katie and Eli if they ever show up. Promise," Tommy shrugged.

He is a bit shocked by the revelation though.

"Why?"

[kyley_b]

"It was an accident," Kyle says. "I was angry. About one thing, at first. Thought I was doing a good thing. But then it was really just me doubling down because I was actually angry about something else." He swallows hard.

"I got the wrong person riled up, and a bunch of innocent people died."