Blood In My Sight

[doubled_speed]

WHO: Tommy & Kyle
WHERE:
WHAT: Tommy needs to calm down
WHEN: 6/26, After yelling at Billy and threatening Riley
WARNINGS: CW: discussions of torture and experimentation on children

This was too much. His anger was still roaring, his blood pounding in his ears, his thoughts running too fast for even him to catch up to. And Tommy just had to do what he could to calm down. He'd tried his island and stopped that when he's knocked into a tree with too much force. It fell over and he knew he was going to bruise badly from it. Then dove into the water to cool off.

Even that wasn't enough so he did the next best thing he could. He took off to find the only person he could talk to right now.

Which was showing up at Kyle's room at the hotel. Doesn't even bother to knock, or even open the door. Just vibes through.

"Kyle," he called, shocked by how raw his voice was from his distress.

Comments

[doubled_speed]

Okay, no, shut up.

"I'm honest as fuck."

[kyley_b]

"We just established he doesn't know the extent of what happened to you."

[doubled_speed]

Yes, that's a thing.

"Honesty and privacy aren't contradictory man."

[kyley_b]

Kyle sighs. "You don't have to tell him. I'm just saying he'd be more likely to understand your concern and listen to you if you did."

[doubled_speed]

Was it really like that, though? Tommy didn't know. And he definitely didn't know how to bring it up. So maybe for now he can ignore the perfectly good advice.

"This is Billy. He does what he wants."

[kyley_b]

Kyle rolls his eyes a little. "Oh wow, so you're BOTH like that, huh?"

[doubled_speed]

Wait, what? Tommy gives Kyle the dirtiest look for that.

"Excuse you, I'm very much agreeable and I listen to people."

[kyley_b]

Kyle lifts both of his eyebrows and smirks.

[doubled_speed]

"Shut the fuck up," Tommy insisted, his voice soft. "I hate that I'm terrible at this, so let's pretend i'm not."

[kyley_b]

Kyle shakes his head and kisses him again.

[doubled_speed]

A kiss is good. Enough to let him close his eyes and try and let the stress pass.

It's the best he can give himself at the moment.

[kyley_b]

Kyle just cuddles him, sometimes absently stroking Tommy's hair. There are times when it's best not to say a thing, and although he hates it it's a lesson he has learned.

[doubled_speed]

A lesson learned, yes, and one benefiting Tommy. He curled closer and tried not to let the sting of tears push at his eyes.

"Kyle, what if he hates me?"

[kyley_b]

"He can't." Stated as fact.

"He might be really upset, but he won't hate you. If he was so upset he needed time to process? You'd give him some space, and focus on your own feelings a bit, I guess."

[doubled_speed]

It wasn't that he'd willingly given space. It had just, you know, happened.

"I think fi I went home and he was there he'd just send me away."

[kyley_b]

"I really don't. But IF he did, it doesn't mean he hates you. It means he needs time. Same as you might."

[doubled_speed]

Time. Tommy always had way too much time.

"I tend over things sooner than most. Time is... it's relative to what we experience. I experience more of it I guess."

No, that was a lie. he'd hurt anyway, be upset anyway, be angry anyway. He carried it longer because he had so much time to stew before people could even begin to react.

[kyley_b]

"Well. You move faster than the rest of us slowpokes, so that makes sense." He runs his hands up to Tommy's shoulders and squeezes gently.

"You'd just have to be patient, dude."

[doubled_speed]

"Snails, not slowpokes. You're not a pokemon," Tommy dismissed.

Patience. He scoffed at the very idea of it. Why did people use that word? Didn't they know he was more patient than them?

[kyley_b]

"I'd be a pretty shitty pokemon," he agrees.

Kyle squeezes Tommy again. "I know what you're thinking. MORE patient. It sucks, I'm sorry."

[doubled_speed]

"Yeah, I'm sure your cry would be some sorta squawk of distress or something," Tommy teased.

Ouch, don't read his mind, man. That's rude.

[kyley_b]

Kyle snickered. "Just pissed off but also ineffective."

He can't help it - he remembers explanations from another life.

[doubled_speed]

Tommy wraps his arms more tightly around Kyle's waist.

"It feels like cheating, to know you so well already."

[kyley_b]

Kyle nods and curls around Tommy protectively. "I know. I feel the same. But it's also really comforting."

He hesitates before adding, "I was really lonely, dude."

[doubled_speed]

So was Tommy. How does he even put into words that he was so lonely before now?

"When we first got to the planet, this place was bad. It was cold and terrible. AT first, Billy and I? Were we all we had. He got sick, exploring the hospital, and the sickness made people paranoid. He kept leaving the shelter of our hotel room, and I had to go after him. In the end I carried him up the stairs, higher than I'd ever been, and we slept in the stair well, in each other's arms. I was never as close with Billy as I was when we got here."

And he hated that it was true. That his comfort and closeness had been with Billy, that he had been in his brother's arms and slept peacefully because he had his brother there. They had trusted each other, believed in each other. He missed it.

"We lived together always after that. Except when the ships pulled us apart. On our birthday ironically. It was maddening. And then Teddy showed up and..."

ANd he lost Billy. Until Teddy left again he'd been so impossibly alone. Was it wrong to want his closeness to his brother back? Probably.