Blood In My Sight

[doubled_speed]

WHO: Tommy & Kyle
WHERE:
WHAT: Tommy needs to calm down
WHEN: 6/26, After yelling at Billy and threatening Riley
WARNINGS: CW: discussions of torture and experimentation on children

This was too much. His anger was still roaring, his blood pounding in his ears, his thoughts running too fast for even him to catch up to. And Tommy just had to do what he could to calm down. He'd tried his island and stopped that when he's knocked into a tree with too much force. It fell over and he knew he was going to bruise badly from it. Then dove into the water to cool off.

Even that wasn't enough so he did the next best thing he could. He took off to find the only person he could talk to right now.

Which was showing up at Kyle's room at the hotel. Doesn't even bother to knock, or even open the door. Just vibes through.

"Kyle," he called, shocked by how raw his voice was from his distress.

Comments

[kyley_b]

Kyle smoothed a hand gently up Tommy's arm. "Then you don't have to. You don't. I think you should, but that doesn't matter."

He lowers his face to kiss Tommy's neck softly. "It's okay to be scared, dude."

[doubled_speed]

"I'm not scared," Tommy protests, even if he is. The lies is a comfort in the moment.

"I hate this. I hate my history. I wish it wasn't real."

[kyley_b]

"I know. But you're here, and you're you. I think that's pretty amazing." He kisses his cheek.

[doubled_speed]

The affection is definitely overcoming him. And Tommy leans in to kiss Kyle back, light as hell, on the man's temple. He doesn't know what to do.

"I didn't choose to be here."

[kyley_b]

"Nobody did," Kyle points out. "Nobody chooses a lot of what happens to us. That's what makes living so scary. We don't really control shit, besides our reactions."

[doubled_speed]

"My reactions were horrible. I tried to kill people when Billy and his team broke me out."

And another kiss to Kyle's forehead.

[kyley_b]

"Yeah," Kyle says. "I'm not saying that was good. But that's what they'd been grooming you to be. And I bet you were confused, and scared."

Kyle shifts, kissing Tommy's lips very softly.

"I bet you were freaking out."

[doubled_speed]

"I wasn't confused. I wasn't scared. I was angry. I wanted revenge. I wanted them to suffer," Tommy answered. Except there it was, a kiss keeping his brain grounded.

That's good.

"I wanted to kill everyone."

[kyley_b]

Kyle hums and kisses him again, more firmly.

"I can understand the impulse."

[doubled_speed]

Can he? Tommy enjoyed the firmness of that kiss, his eyes closing for a moment to enjoy the contact before responding.

"They had to stop me, my team. They said they came for a hero, not a villain."

[kyley_b]

"No offense to your team, but fuck them," Kyle says irritably. "Real nice. 'I know you've been through hell but you're being a jerk.' Pretty fucking insensitive."

He runs his fingers up Tommy's arm. "Have you ever killed anyone?"

[doubled_speed]

"THey were there to get someone to help them save Teddy. They were kids and the idea of watching some kid in juvie, when they didn't know what was going on there, trying to kill his captors... I respect their choice."

Had he ever killed someone. What a question to ask. He even had to curl up against Kyle more tightly to hide his face, his shame.

"Yes. I just... I didn't know it until later."

[kyley_b]

Kyle shrugs. "Still not impressed with their wording," he says.

Kyle gets his fingers over Tommy's chin and tilts it up.

"I have, too," he admits.

[doubled_speed]

"You're free to lecture Katie and Eli if they ever show up. Promise," Tommy shrugged.

He is a bit shocked by the revelation though.

"Why?"

[kyley_b]

"It was an accident," Kyle says. "I was angry. About one thing, at first. Thought I was doing a good thing. But then it was really just me doubling down because I was actually angry about something else." He swallows hard.

"I got the wrong person riled up, and a bunch of innocent people died."

[doubled_speed]

That's not great. Not great at all.

"No one ever told me how many people, if any, died when I blew up part of my school. And then there were the Skrull. I thought I was doing the right thing. I didn't... I didn't understand at all."

Those Skrull could have had families. He wondered if Teddy would let them demand reparations against him.

[kyley_b]

"It's scary how easy it is to do bad shit when you think you're right," Kyle says quietly. He smooths a hand through Tommy's hair.

"It doesn't make you a bad person though. I don't think so, anyway. And I don't think Billy would, either."

[doubled_speed]

"If it didn't make me bad, then why put me in jail?" Tommy countered. Why weaponize him?

They already knew he was bad. It took work to be good. Bad? Maybe that was just his nature.

[kyley_b]

"Because they didn't care to understand the circumstances, or had ulterior motives. Look." He shifts to be able to see Tommy's face. "If anything, what you did would be constituted as like... involuntary manslaughter. The deaths were your fault, but it was completely accidental. So you could be held accountable, sure, but they didn't put you in jail, Tommy, they forced you into an experimental torture program. That's not justice, that's inhumane."

[doubled_speed]

"It's human though."

They do it because they can. Because mutants don't have rights. It's frustrating.

"They told me I got what I'd deserved."

[kyley_b]

"Yes. I'm afraid it is. We do it to each other all the time."

Kyle shakes his head. "You did NOT get what you deserved. At all. They were using you because they saw you as less-than, and that's not true. You didn't deserve that any more than POWs deserve to be tortured and humiliated, or immigrants detained in horrible conditions, or black people used as medical experiments without their knowledge or consent. People are shitty, and its not the victims' fault."

[doubled_speed]

It is. But Tommy hates it a lot. A hell of a lot.

"Stop being smart. IT's fucking hot," Tommy grumbles. "Next thing you know you'll be bossing me around and correcting my spelling."

[kyley_b]

Kyle snickers. "I dunno about bossing you around."

[doubled_speed]

"Ah, that'd be hot," Tommy answered, chuckling as he lets a hand settle on Kyle's hip. But the jokes don't actually get his hand exploring. He's too upset over all of this right now.

"Oh well."

[kyley_b]

"Like you wouldn't sass back. Which is also pretty hot."

He kisses Tommy softly. "We'll look out for your brother. Promise."