Network - Video

[puddledancer]

[Quill's lounging in the curve of a ruin, his feet up on a protruding piece of rock, a drink in one hand as he holds his comm device with the other]

Hey, listen, I know you're all really busy with your Geraldo versus Donahue thing, and that Southern lady's doing her best to be Sally Jesse without the shoulder pads? But I'm gettin' real tired of the daytime talk show, and there's nothing else on here except maybe knockoff Cheers. And your robot Sam doesn't even have a Diane, so it's pretty awful.

I touched that glowy thing in the middle of town and it put some weeeeeeird-ass junk in my head, which, hey, not the first time I touched a magic rock and it did stuff? But I'd love a little more to go on than that.

When you're not busy.

Comments

[kree_soldieress]

[Hello, enjoy the face of someone who is very obviously Kree.]

Oh, Cheers! I saw that on the television when I visited Earth. It was much better than the shows where women competed for the attention of an unworthy men.

Ah, but I will also happily try and explain what I can.

[puddledancer]

Whoa! I didn't know there were Kree here. [Peter blinks rapidly, obviously surprised]

Before we do that? Uhhhhh, what are your thoughts on a guy named Ronin?

[kree_soldieress]

[Someone other than Billy and Teddy who knew the Kree? She grins. Until he says Ronin.]

He is a shame and dishonor upon our people, for a multitude of reasons that would take likely five to seven hours to discuss. I can arrange a full lecture if you would like. But I shall have to acquire a meal first. And you'd have to be alright with visual demonstrations such as my Universal Weapon can provide.

Why, are you familiar with the former Accuser?

[puddledancer]

[WHAT A FRIGGEN RELIEF. he wasn't sure what he'd do here, fresh out of Infinity Stones and crewmates to back him up, if this had gone any differently than it just did.]

Yeah, I blasted him into little tiny pieces. Wanted to make sure we weren't gonna have a problem.

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[mrsklover]

[Oh boy. Richie remembers this guy. But even if that had all been a spell, he still couldn't help but feel friendly toward the guy.]

Finally someone who knows some good pop culture references. I called the little green dude a Gremlin and people just blinked at me.

But uh. Yeah. Magic rock downloaded all that crap for all of us. Super fun, right? I don't know if I have a lot more I can add to it, but at least we can both bitch?

[puddledancer]

Oh, wow, hey! You're actually a real person. Neat. ... Is your name still Richie? Or was that a weird illusion-land thing?

Also, how do they not know what Gremlins are? Philistines, the lot of them.

[mrsklover]

Yep! Still Richie! And look, you can hear my dulcet tones without falling into a coma. Although I seem to remember owing you one.

I might let it slide for knowing Gremlins though.

[puddledancer]

Gremlins, Ninja Turtles, ALF, the whole nine yards, man. God, it's so great to have someone get the references! I spent the last twenty years stuck in space, okay? No one knows the beauty and majesty of The Princess Bride out in space.

... Still Peter, by the way. Quill, if you're feeling last-name-cool.

[sneaky audio]

[cardsyouredealt]

I have no idea what you're on about, but ya sound nice enough sayin it so you can keep going.

[ One pretty southern sounding voice that might sound a little bit familiar. ]

[ooh sneaky sneaky]

[puddledancer]

Heeeeeeeey, what a nice surprise. I wasn't completely dreaming after all. Have you figured out if you need to kill me, yet? I'm guessin' no, since you want me to keep talkin'.

[cardsyouredealt]

I'll let you in on a little secret, I was never that good with pick up lines. And alternate realities didn't help.

[puddledancer]

That's okay, you were still pretty cool. You don't need 'em. ... Name's still Peter, by the way. Just, uh, don't call me P.J. That was totally lame.

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[ezra_of_lothal]

[Even the Americanized version of him was too Gen Z for these references.[

I get all that was from TV shows - I think. Translation? I mean, if you want an actual response to that first part.

If you don't...um, I don't mind answering questions. Just not sure where to start.

My name's still Ezra by the way.

[puddledancer]

It was, yeah. ... Sheez, I go from one part of space to another part of space and people still don't get it. My kingdom for a VCR.

Still Ezra, that's good. I think I can keep all these names straight. I wasn't sure if you'd all have extra secret identities or second names or whatever. But I got the gist - we're supposed to save this place. Which is cool, I'm the leader of the Guardians of the Galaxy, we get hired to do saving shit all the time. I just am not really clear on these Agra people's definition of 'saved'.

[ezra_of_lothal]

Uh, well, my brother Ben I mentioned is not my biological brother here, and his name is actually Obi-wan Kenobi, so there's at least a little confusing second name stuff going on. But he still looks out for me.

Guardians of the Galaxy sounds cool? Is that a team, or a bigger organization?

[puddledancer]

[Obi-Wankewaitasecond. nuh uh, no way. he will ... come back to that. if he meets Ezra's not-brother later and he's old and a dead ringer for Alec Guinness he is going to flip right out. but of course, since he won't be old, he'll just figure the name is a coincidence. because this is Peter.]

It sounds cool because it is cool. We're a team. We all ended up stuck together because we were in the wrong place at the wrong time, but we ended up saving everything because of it. And then we got famous, and hired to do a whole bunch of stuff, and then we'd just saved everything again before I woke up in ... Weirdo York or whatever it was.

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[kyley_b]

Holy shit, kiosk dude! [This is probably the most genuinely happy he's been since returning to reality.]

Cheers, dude? Seriously? What are you, fifty?

[puddledancer]

Kite kid! [he beams right back]

No, but it was my Mom's favorite show. I watched it with her all the time as a kid. There were an awful lot of jokes I had to understand in retrospect.

[kyley_b]

Fuck you, I'm not a kid!

Aw, okay, that's just cute. Man, I'm glad you're real. Sorry you're stuck here, but glad you're real.

[Video]

[deal_me_in]

Uh.... Right. -who's Sam? You don't mean me, do you? Because I am most definitely not a Sam.

So you touched the thing, huh? Well, as someone who hasn't touched the shiny glowball in the middle of town, you'll have to tell me what all you did get uploaded in that head of yours so I know what to supplement you with by way of information.

[puddledancer]

Yeah, hey, dude! Sorry, I didn't know what your name was. Sam was the bartender on Cheers. Really smart, handsome, cool, funny. Always had the perfect one-liner, slid a shot down a bar like nobody's business, total lady-killer. You should be flattered. Everyone wanted to be Ted Danson, man.

[and then he gets asked what he saw. whew. he closes his eyes tight and tries to remember]

We're all here because of this race of skinny pink things called Agri, and there are these ... they looked like big electrical storms? That broke everything. And they all had to leave so they didn't die. And I saw other glowy light balls - next to a hospital, a greenhouse, a ship hangar, a factory, and a big tower. Do we need to, like, collect them? Because the last time someone tried to have me collect glowy things, it did NOT end well. For them. Long story.

[deal_me_in]

Well I mean, I am all those things, really. And now that it's explained, I am thoroughly flattered. Name's still not Sam, by the way- it's Cayde.

[He strokes a chin, his metal features somehow managing a smirk.]

Well, long stories can become truncated stories, but I guess that's not the point here anyway. All right. So yeah, basically the Agrii called us in to solve their problem. Figure out how to clear out a killer storm, easy peazy, right?

[He's being sarcastic, by the way.]

Anyway there's a lot more to it and things are complicated and involve malicious other alien beings of some sort who may or may not actually be the ones pulling the strings here. Naturally they're nowhere to be found and are big cheaters, otherwise I would've suggested we go pop over and pay a visit, put a bullet in the brain-pans of those responsible and call it a day. P-kew!

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[the_tailor]

'kay, I don't think I understood a word of what you started out there with.

[puddledancer]

Clearly, you have not been witness to the golden era of talk show drama. Hi. I'm Star-Lord.

[the_tailor]

I'm more of a telenovela guy than talk show drama guy, really. And hi! I'm Lance. Star-Lord, huh? Cool name!