Network - Video

[puddledancer]

[Quill's lounging in the curve of a ruin, his feet up on a protruding piece of rock, a drink in one hand as he holds his comm device with the other]

Hey, listen, I know you're all really busy with your Geraldo versus Donahue thing, and that Southern lady's doing her best to be Sally Jesse without the shoulder pads? But I'm gettin' real tired of the daytime talk show, and there's nothing else on here except maybe knockoff Cheers. And your robot Sam doesn't even have a Diane, so it's pretty awful.

I touched that glowy thing in the middle of town and it put some weeeeeeird-ass junk in my head, which, hey, not the first time I touched a magic rock and it did stuff? But I'd love a little more to go on than that.

When you're not busy.

Comments

[puddledancer]

Yup. Comes with the whole Guardian of the Galaxy thing, y'know? Badass nicknames and all. If you wanna be boring, though, my real name's Quill, Peter Quill.

I bet you would like Rocket, a cool Sam Malone-ish dude like yourself. He does have some serious jerkface moments, though, but what else do you expect from a trash panda?

[deal_me_in]

Quill, huh? Eh, not so boring. Got a nice ring to it. But anyway let's rewind a bit- Guardian of the galaxy, eh? I happen to be a Guardian too, galaxy's a bit big and my focus is more on the Sol System at the moment but there is an unbelievable amount of attention that seems fixated on wiping out humanity, you know?

[He smirks.]

I'll take it from you. And watch my pockets if he's around.

[puddledancer]

I do know! Why do some people get such a gigantic hard-on for genocide? Seriously! It's not like it beats a cold beer and a cheeseburger for anything.

[deal_me_in]

Obviously they are jealous that we've had the time to come up with creatively delicious ways to enjoy our life while they've been doing...whatever it is they're doing. Okay, the Fallen might have a reason but the Cabal, those space rhinos just do war for the hell of it, I'm sure. If they're not picking on someone else they're beating on each other. The Vex? Eh, robot hivemind that just wants to overwrite everything, guess it's fair when we're part of the everything but we can still take offense. And then we have the Hive but let's just not get into the Hive.

[puddledancer]

Space rhinos and a robot hivemind? Sounds pretty rad other than the fighting part. I'll see you those and raise you a religious zealot a-hole still holding a grudge for something from generations ago, and a race full of gold-skinned supermodels that don't believe in boinking to perpetuate the species, they just grow everyone in tubes. Real pretty to look at, but not a good idea to piss 'em off.

[deal_me_in]

Grudge-holding, religious fanatics, huh? I think that kind of covers the Hive. And the gold-skinned supermodels could be Vex, I mean, they look like they wear heels sometimes and they're very leggy. No test-tube growing, they just um...digitize? Copy? Whatever, they multiply and start messing with time and stuff, all gets very confusing.

[puddledancer]

Wow, that's... crazy similar, holy crap. Aside from the time stuff, haven't met anyone who actually messes with time yet. How do you even deal with something like that?

[deal_me_in]

[The Exo pantomimes firing off a gun.]

You put a bullet in their head. P'choo!

[puddledancer]

Huh. One more case of "really, don't think about it so damn hard".

[he laughs]

Try time traveling away from that, right?

[deal_me_in]

Exactly.

[puddledancer]

You're a pretty cool dude. We should hang out sometime, shoot the shit. You know, at your bar.

[deal_me_in]

So glad you noticed.

But we should. Bar's open anytime, Quill.

[puddledancer]

Catch you around, then, Sam.

[nope, sorry, you're Sam now, deal with it]