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[doubled_speed]

[Enjoy the screen coming alive with Tommy, local fast person. The world beyond him is a blur of sparkles. With the way his hair is going in the wind, he clearly was running somewhere.]

Okay, two things on the current state of the world.

I've repeated my test to try and and get to the new blinking light. Like Cayde said, someone's fucking with us. It doesn't matter how long or how fast I run at the thing. It's always the same distance away. Which, you know, wouldn't be so bad if it was reality warping, or like world maps in old school video games where you're actually just circling the world in an impossible loop or something.

No, the amount of distance you walk toward the thing is how far you need to come back. So at the moment, I'd seriously discourage expeditions, guys, gals, and all other designations. If that thing is just as far away when I've gone fifty miles, it's not something we can get to by traditional means.

[The colors behind him blurring on the screen now take on a decidedly pink tinge. Yes! He's getting into a fucking zone of hearts.]

In other news. No. I am NOT responsible for the glitter. But FUCK it makes me look amazing I bet. If you see a cloud of sparkles in the distance, that's me. Or is about to be me by you. Can any of you communications people set up, like, a network thing? That pings my phone off yours, like a GPS? So I don't accidentally go blazing past someone and leave them covered in a cloud of my sparkling dust?

Not that some of you wouldn't look amazing in rainbows and hearts and stars. You know, in my flawless opinion.

Comments

[kyley_b]

[Kyle chokes on the water he unfortunately chose to drink at that precise moment.]

I'm sorry, WHAT?! Dude. Don't fuck with me.

You're fucking kidding, do they not have bleach on your earth?

[doubled_speed]

A, not fucking with you. B, bleach doesn't get this color.

[Bleach yellows while it 'whitens'. Tommy's as white as snow. No roots ever show. Curtains match the carpets and whatever. It's natural. And that's weird without him being an albino.]

Like I said, uncle and grandfather. They're famous mutants.

[kyley_b]

Absolutely fucking with me, this shit is a disaster.

Bullshit, I've seen girls at school with white hair. Okay, maybe they have dark roots but still.

Ah, shit, so there's a public perception. Fuck. Well. I'm sorry. Where I'm from people would just think you're a model or something.

[doubled_speed]

Never this white.

[Tommy tweaks a curl and grins.]

You know how much less 'fucked because of winds' my hair would get if I had curls like yours? That's got more staying power than hair spray. Not that I'm not hot already, but I still think it's pretty awesome.

[Wait, what?]

Model?

[kyley_b]

How would YOU know, huh? You're not from my dimension. So there.

I assure you all that would happen is that you'd wind up with one huge knot instead of something you might be able to comb out.

Yeah, dude. Models are all like... you know, they can have unusual hair it adds to the appeal

[doubled_speed]

Well, there you have it, you've got a great point.

[Who said he'd comb it out. Tommy laughs, though, it's probably a good point.]

I don't think my hair is my appeal quite like my eyes and body.

[kyley_b]

I always do.

Well, no, it's the whole package of stupidly attractive. I'm just saying it wouldn't make people hate you where I'm from.

[doubled_speed]

[Tommy snorts.]

I knew you thought I was hot.

[kyley_b]

I did NOT say that I think that! It's an objective fact, Jesus.

[doubled_speed]

[Really? Tommy smiles.]

Nah. Attractiveness is subjective.

[kyley_b]

No it isn't! Not entirely. There's science involved!

[doubled_speed]

[Tommy rolls his eyes.]

That's what people say to avoid admitting they think someone is hot.

[kyley_b]

Not when the person is me, jackass, I just like science.

Jesus. [He jams his hat back on.]

[doubled_speed]

[Tommy laughs and shakes his head.]

Well, there is plenty of science to figure out here.

[kyley_b]

Well. Good. I'm smart, I can do that.

[doubled_speed]

[Tommy rolls his eyes.]

Finish your fruit.

[kyley_b]

Fine. [He probably shouldn't, actually, but he does. Then he studies his water glass.]

I am, though. Smart.

Do you even like your brother?

[doubled_speed]

Yeah, smart guys are the most fun to be around.

{Tommy drinks more of his drink.]

Love him. Don't tell him that.

[kyley_b]

Is that sarcasm?

I won't. But that is nice, you know. Brothers are cool.

[doubled_speed]

It's not, at all. But he doesn't know how to convince the guy of that.]

Brothers are... complicated.

[kyley_b]

Well. Yeah, that too.

Must be weirder when you didn't grow up together. Ike, my little brother, he's adopted but it doesn't seem like it. I love him to death, even when I wanna kick his ass.

He's Canadian. They're kinda weird.

[doubled_speed]

[Tommy shrugs.]

I don't really know many Canadians. So I can't vouch one way or another.

[kyley_b]

Well, they are.

M'sorry, I must be boring you. Hey! I know. Can I see the ponies?

[doubled_speed]

Glownies.

[Tommy finishes his drink and moves away from the counter.]

We'll have to head to the greenhouse and then through the farm.

[kyley_b]

Right.

Is that okay? You don't have to babysit me if you need to be doing something.