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[doubled_speed]

[Enjoy the screen coming alive with Tommy, local fast person. The world beyond him is a blur of sparkles. With the way his hair is going in the wind, he clearly was running somewhere.]

Okay, two things on the current state of the world.

I've repeated my test to try and and get to the new blinking light. Like Cayde said, someone's fucking with us. It doesn't matter how long or how fast I run at the thing. It's always the same distance away. Which, you know, wouldn't be so bad if it was reality warping, or like world maps in old school video games where you're actually just circling the world in an impossible loop or something.

No, the amount of distance you walk toward the thing is how far you need to come back. So at the moment, I'd seriously discourage expeditions, guys, gals, and all other designations. If that thing is just as far away when I've gone fifty miles, it's not something we can get to by traditional means.

[The colors behind him blurring on the screen now take on a decidedly pink tinge. Yes! He's getting into a fucking zone of hearts.]

In other news. No. I am NOT responsible for the glitter. But FUCK it makes me look amazing I bet. If you see a cloud of sparkles in the distance, that's me. Or is about to be me by you. Can any of you communications people set up, like, a network thing? That pings my phone off yours, like a GPS? So I don't accidentally go blazing past someone and leave them covered in a cloud of my sparkling dust?

Not that some of you wouldn't look amazing in rainbows and hearts and stars. You know, in my flawless opinion.

Comments

[doubled_speed]

Fair enough. I'm sure there's a cheat sheet on the comms or something.

[kyley_b]

That would be helpful.

Thanks for escorting me to the ship.

[doubled_speed]

I'm a good guy like that.

[And it's easy to get lost. So now that he's approaching the ships and it's time to figure out which Kyle is with.]

Know your assignment yet?

[kyley_b]

Uhm, what ship or what I'm doing on it?

[doubled_speed]

There's no assignments of what you do on them. Just tell me which ship.

[kyley_b]

Bloodsport. Like the old movie.

[doubled_speed]

Right, you said that.

[But damn, he was distracted over the guy being all semi-drunk.]

[kyley_b]

Did I? Oh.

[To be fair, trying to wrangle a ginger giraffe is distracting.]

So. When I'm awake again? You gotta let me help you feed glownies or something.

[doubled_speed]

I'll show you where they are. Maybe introduce you to Shiro if I can. I've been convincing him to work with animals some.

[All the help they can get is worth it, thoguh.]

[kyley_b]

That would be nice.

Dude? You're nice. Thanks. I'm trying not to freak out.

[doubled_speed]

[Nice, huh? Always interesting to hear.]

Thanks for saying that. The whole, you know, nice thing.

[kyley_b]

Dude, I'm stranded on an alien planet and I have like, no skills and you've explained stuff and shown me fruit and even if I Jerseyed out on you you didn't hit me. That's super nice.

[doubled_speed]

[Oh. Tommy smiles.]

GUess I did. But I try to help. We're stuck here together.

[kyley_b]

Yeah. So that means you can count on me.

[doubled_speed]

[Tommy laughs and taps Kyle's head.]

One.

[kyley_b]

[Kyle cackles. He might be smart, but his laugh makes him sound pretty stupid.]

[doubled_speed]

[Tommy snickers and keeps Kyle moving.]

Admit it, you appreciate my humor.

[kyley_b]

I appreciated THAT, anyway.

[doubled_speed]

[Tommy smiles and nods.]

People don't laugh for me a lot. I like it.

[kyley_b]

Really? Well. Maybe they have no sense of humor.

[Kyle gives Tommy a very serious nod as they approach the ships.]

I, however, am a man of culture and taste. [Then he giggles.]

[doubled_speed]

Yeah, culture. Right. Totally what you are.

[Giggling means it's just drunkenness.]

[kyley_b]

Yeah, obviously not. I'm a fucking redneck, it's fine. You're still funny.

[He points ahead of them.] The ships are over there? Oh man. I've never seen a spaceship properly.

[doubled_speed]

That's them. Come on, I'll get you to the Bloodsport's door. You shoul dbe able to get to the beds from there.

[kyley_b]

Okay.

Thank you. And I'll find you again. Sober.

[doubled_speed]

[Tommy nods and ruffles Kyle's hair.]

Get some real sleep, man.