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[doubled_speed]

[Enjoy the screen coming alive with Tommy, local fast person. The world beyond him is a blur of sparkles. With the way his hair is going in the wind, he clearly was running somewhere.]

Okay, two things on the current state of the world.

I've repeated my test to try and and get to the new blinking light. Like Cayde said, someone's fucking with us. It doesn't matter how long or how fast I run at the thing. It's always the same distance away. Which, you know, wouldn't be so bad if it was reality warping, or like world maps in old school video games where you're actually just circling the world in an impossible loop or something.

No, the amount of distance you walk toward the thing is how far you need to come back. So at the moment, I'd seriously discourage expeditions, guys, gals, and all other designations. If that thing is just as far away when I've gone fifty miles, it's not something we can get to by traditional means.

[The colors behind him blurring on the screen now take on a decidedly pink tinge. Yes! He's getting into a fucking zone of hearts.]

In other news. No. I am NOT responsible for the glitter. But FUCK it makes me look amazing I bet. If you see a cloud of sparkles in the distance, that's me. Or is about to be me by you. Can any of you communications people set up, like, a network thing? That pings my phone off yours, like a GPS? So I don't accidentally go blazing past someone and leave them covered in a cloud of my sparkling dust?

Not that some of you wouldn't look amazing in rainbows and hearts and stars. You know, in my flawless opinion.

Comments

[doubled_speed]

No, I doubt they do. But the ships were used before the Agrii. They were just keeping them.

[He laughs as he guides Kyle on.]

Lauri-Ell isn't a dude.

[kyley_b]

Oh.

I know that! 'Dude' is gender neutral. [Guiding Kyle is like herding a baby giraffe.]

[doubled_speed]

[Well, this dude is close to getting picked up and carried.]

It's really not. Unless you're Raph.

[kyley_b]

Well why is whoever that is special?

Lauri-ell didn't care. She knows I know she's a lady.

[doubled_speed]

Because he's a turtle.

[Well, uh, he doesn't talk to her much, so it doesn't matter.]

You need bed.

[kyley_b]

So?! What does that have to do with it? Turtles have gender.

[Oddly he's less phased by a talking turtle than he is mutant powers.]

I don't.

[doubled_speed]

Uh, Raph does it in more an old 'Cowabunga dude' surfer speech.

[He laughs.]

You do.

[kyley_b]

Do people not say dude where you're from, Jersey boy?

Do not. [Although he's still following Tommy along for the moment.]

[doubled_speed]

No, because we have more class than that.

[He wants to chuckle.]

You don't know a thing about Jersey, do you?

[kyley_b]

Oh THAT'S funny.

...no. I'm not supposed to go there.

[doubled_speed]

We do.

[Why isn't he supposed to go there?]

Your family in WitPro or something?

[kyley_b]

Then why are you giving me shit, dude?

No. It's so I don't become an aggressive douchebag. [More so, at any rate.] I can't help it, it's like everything is normal but then all of a sudden I want to drink too much and fight people. And use hair gel.

[doubled_speed]

Because we have more class than that.

[Aggressive douchebag?]

Because Jersey? Dude, that's stereotypes.

[kyley_b]

Whatever! [He throws his hands up, exasperated.]

I've seen it happen. Just legions of spray tanned people... and I can't seem to stop it from happening to me. It's like being a werewolf.

[doubled_speed]

[That makes no sense.]

Dude, I'm from Jersey. I have been to Jersey. None of that happens.

[kyley_b]

It did to me.

[He sighs.] I don't expect you to believe me. I don't expect you to believe anything I've seen.

[doubled_speed]

[That sounds like a personal problem.]

I believe a lot of shit.

[kyley_b]

But not this. [He sounds resigned.]

[doubled_speed]

You do what you do. Won't judge tht. Just confused as to why.

[kyley_b]

It's just the way it is, I don't have much of a choice.

What ship are you on?

[doubled_speed]

You always have a choice.

[The guy just chooses what he does. And Tommy? Tommy keeps walking.]

Twin Roses.

[kyley_b]

[Kyle frowns thunderously, because Tommy us right.] Fine. Then I guess I choose to lose to genetics.

Nice name. Does everyone stay on these things every night?

[doubled_speed]

Your choice.

[Tommy keeps herding the dude along, intending to get him the long way there.]

Not really. But we're divided up into crews for when we go to space.

[kyley_b]

I hate you so much right now, dude.

Wait. [He stops walling to stare.] We get to go to space?!

[doubled_speed]

You're free to do so.

[Nope, no stopping. Tommy pushes him gently.]

Yeah. Sometimes. I hate being cramped up.