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[doubled_speed]

[Enjoy the screen coming alive with Tommy, local fast person. The world beyond him is a blur of sparkles. With the way his hair is going in the wind, he clearly was running somewhere.]

Okay, two things on the current state of the world.

I've repeated my test to try and and get to the new blinking light. Like Cayde said, someone's fucking with us. It doesn't matter how long or how fast I run at the thing. It's always the same distance away. Which, you know, wouldn't be so bad if it was reality warping, or like world maps in old school video games where you're actually just circling the world in an impossible loop or something.

No, the amount of distance you walk toward the thing is how far you need to come back. So at the moment, I'd seriously discourage expeditions, guys, gals, and all other designations. If that thing is just as far away when I've gone fifty miles, it's not something we can get to by traditional means.

[The colors behind him blurring on the screen now take on a decidedly pink tinge. Yes! He's getting into a fucking zone of hearts.]

In other news. No. I am NOT responsible for the glitter. But FUCK it makes me look amazing I bet. If you see a cloud of sparkles in the distance, that's me. Or is about to be me by you. Can any of you communications people set up, like, a network thing? That pings my phone off yours, like a GPS? So I don't accidentally go blazing past someone and leave them covered in a cloud of my sparkling dust?

Not that some of you wouldn't look amazing in rainbows and hearts and stars. You know, in my flawless opinion.

Comments

[doubled_speed]

It's not, at all. But he doesn't know how to convince the guy of that.]

Brothers are... complicated.

[kyley_b]

Well. Yeah, that too.

Must be weirder when you didn't grow up together. Ike, my little brother, he's adopted but it doesn't seem like it. I love him to death, even when I wanna kick his ass.

He's Canadian. They're kinda weird.

[doubled_speed]

[Tommy shrugs.]

I don't really know many Canadians. So I can't vouch one way or another.

[kyley_b]

Well, they are.

M'sorry, I must be boring you. Hey! I know. Can I see the ponies?

[doubled_speed]

Glownies.

[Tommy finishes his drink and moves away from the counter.]

We'll have to head to the greenhouse and then through the farm.

[kyley_b]

Right.

Is that okay? You don't have to babysit me if you need to be doing something.

[doubled_speed]

It's not babysitting. And I don't want to see you fail to make it because you fell over.

[kyley_b]

I'm perfectly not falling over.

[He gets up to demonstrate and promptly sways.]

[doubled_speed]

[Dude, that sentence alone was a bad sign. Tommy's immediately around the counter, his arm around Kyle's waist.]

Yanno, what, your ship first.

[kyley_b]

My what? [He blinks at Tommy.]

I'm so glad I'm taller than you.

[doubled_speed]

The space ship you live on. You could use some rest.

[Wait, what?]

Why do you care so much?

[kyley_b]

Oh! Yes! Uhm, the thing said I'm on the Bloodsport, which is hilarious.

Because you're a superhero. And there's like jacked alien bodyguards and dudes with robot arms and magic people here. You know how intimidating that is? So. Let me be tall.

[doubled_speed]

I know which one that is. I'll get you to it.

[Jacked alien bodyguards?]

So you've met Lauri-Ell, Bucky, and, what, Jon?

[Seems right.]

Well, you're tall.

[kyley_b]

Do they know it's a movie title?

Uhm, I forget the arm guy. But Lauri and Jon! Super cool dudes.

Good. [Kyle looks pleased by this at least.]

[doubled_speed]

No, I doubt they do. But the ships were used before the Agrii. They were just keeping them.

[He laughs as he guides Kyle on.]

Lauri-Ell isn't a dude.

[kyley_b]

Oh.

I know that! 'Dude' is gender neutral. [Guiding Kyle is like herding a baby giraffe.]

[doubled_speed]

[Well, this dude is close to getting picked up and carried.]

It's really not. Unless you're Raph.

[kyley_b]

Well why is whoever that is special?

Lauri-ell didn't care. She knows I know she's a lady.

[doubled_speed]

Because he's a turtle.

[Well, uh, he doesn't talk to her much, so it doesn't matter.]

You need bed.

[kyley_b]

So?! What does that have to do with it? Turtles have gender.

[Oddly he's less phased by a talking turtle than he is mutant powers.]

I don't.

[doubled_speed]

Uh, Raph does it in more an old 'Cowabunga dude' surfer speech.

[He laughs.]

You do.

[kyley_b]

Do people not say dude where you're from, Jersey boy?

Do not. [Although he's still following Tommy along for the moment.]

[doubled_speed]

No, because we have more class than that.

[He wants to chuckle.]

You don't know a thing about Jersey, do you?

[kyley_b]

Oh THAT'S funny.

...no. I'm not supposed to go there.

[doubled_speed]

We do.

[Why isn't he supposed to go there?]

Your family in WitPro or something?