Video Broadcast - OTA (Post Storm)

[doubled_speed]

[Hey guys, look who it is. The bright and cheerful and constantly snarky kid. Who is smiling wide, though it looks a bit strained. Good news, his arm has healed since getting back. Bad news, Tommy looks nervous and maybe a hint of stressed as the video starts. But hey, he's in the greenhouse, which is obvious from the greenery around him. And his communication device is propped up against something, because his hands are in the shot, working at the soil around a lush Cyanana plant, clearly working fertilizer into the soil with care.]

So, like... Just because we've got the ships and stuff doesn't mean it's not important for us to maintain the greenhouse, right? We were gone for a while and not all the places in here did well while we were gone. And then I was walking around and realized that we're sorta scattered, the people working here. So maybe people with the skill should, like, coordinate? Because fresh food on the ships is good too. We can preserve shit and put it on the ships for variation.

I also wanna do, like, hydroponics on some of the ships. So if we gets spaced again for a while, we can have fresh stuff.

Guess...

[He sighs and his hand cards through his hair. Which means some dirt is now there in the perfect white strands.]

Guess I mean I'm willing to help organize. Map out the greenhouse, help us figure out schedules and when to work on different plants and that shit. Or not. Someone else can take that charge. I don't much care. It just needs done. Might also need an engineer to help with the ship part. And maybe people to okay adding it to other ships and to take care of the plants.

Anyway uh...

[Let him be useful. He failed as a hero in the storm. Disappointment and frustration flash across his face in the video and then it's gone.]

Thoughts?

Comments

[doubled_speed]

[He doesn't give Billy anything, did he?]

You know we're the same shape. Maybe that hole is you.

[wearingthestars]

It's you. You're very distinct.

[doubled_speed]

[Tommy sighs and walks away a few paces, because he doesn't KNOW how to do this. And he doesn't want anyone around to hear the next bit.]

I... am not that important to anyone.

[wearingthestars]

[Billy shakes his head. And, okay, so he can't speak for EVERYONE but-]

You're that important to me.

[And to Teddy, and to all their friends. But Billy looks so damned earnest, praying Tommy will actually believe him this time.]

You're part of me. And I love you. And I LIKE you on top of that, which you don't always get with family.

[doubled_speed]

[Tommy takes another step back, nervous. How does he even...]

You... you always liked them more. Wanted them around more. Your team, your real family, Teddy. Even want Wanda more than me. I'm an extra.

[wearingthestars]

You're not. And I'm sorry if I made you feel like you were. I ...haven't been a great brother. Or a great friend. I'm...working on it.

[doubled_speed]

[Tommy is left frowning as he considers his twin.]

Maybe I'm... not the great brother?

[wearingthestars]

[Billy mirrors that frown and shakes his head.]

You've been amazing. Always.

[doubled_speed]

I left when you needed me.

[wearingthestars]

...That was... we were all messed up. It wasn't up to you to fix me when you were dealing with it too. I was the one so caught up in my head that I wasn't there for you or Teddy.

[doubled_speed]

[No one had been there for Tommy. Teddy and Tommy had been there so hard for Billy that it was hard to be anything else.]

I was fine. I'm fine.

[He's so far from fine.]

[wearingthestars]

[Billy didn't even realize how deep into that disassociate state he'd gotten until it was far too late. He'd missed his chance to be there for them then, but he can still be there for them now.]

You're not though...

[doubled_speed]

[He's not. He's so not. But how is he supposed to even open up with that?]

I'm really fine. It's okay. And you're okay now, because Teddy is here.

[And he's going to lose his brother because of that.]

[wearingthestars]

...I'm not. [Maybe if Billy opens up first it will help. That's his hope at least.] I mean...I'm better- than I was- obviously. But...I'm not fine. And I don't think you are either.

[doubled_speed]

[He's not fine, and Tommy doesn't want to accept that. But he's definitely getting a bit more defensive, because he's wrapping his arms around himself.]

Maybe I wanna be fine. I just... I just...

[He takes a deep breath.]

People keep leaving.

[wearingthestars]

...I know.

[Billy nods softly.]

They do.
It's not- you...you know it's not your fault, right?

[doubled_speed]

[The anger that flashes over Tommy's face says he REALLY doesn't agree.]

Bullshit.

[wearingthestars]

[That anger makes Billy glance away like he's going to fully back off for a moment, but he seems to find his courage again.]

They didn't leave because of something you did or didn't do. People leave. It's not fair, but it's not your fault.

[doubled_speed]

Then how do you explain Frank and Mary?

[Or the team. That broke up without his wanting it. And then reformed without telling him. He was excluded.]

[wearingthestars]

They were the ones who were supposed to take care of you. There's nothing you ever could have done that justifies what they did, Tommy. That's all on them.

[doubled_speed]

I wasn't good enough!

[He shouts, and the words have to carry. Because it's so loud, so angry.]

[wearingthestars]

[Billy flinches a bit at the shout, and gives his brother a sad look once he recovers, shaking his head firmly.]

They weren't good enough.

[doubled_speed]

They were all I had. All I'd ever had.

[Tommy's shaking now. Because he doesn't know what to do. Because his mouth has opened and things are going to fall out now.]

Why didn't they want me?

[wearingthestars]

...

[There's not a good answer for that, and while Billy's had enough counselling from his mother and his own therapist to make an effort, he doesn't have near enough education to properly handle a topic with that sort of depth.

He tries to close the gap between then, to get close enough to offer some physical comfort.]

...I don't know. But I know you deserved so much more, so please- don't think any of that is your fault-

[doubled_speed]

And you got the perfect family.

[He lets Billy move closer. Would even let himself be hugged.]

I just wanted something. I wanted to be loved too. What kid doesn't?