Video Broadcast - OTA (Post Storm)

[doubled_speed]

[Hey guys, look who it is. The bright and cheerful and constantly snarky kid. Who is smiling wide, though it looks a bit strained. Good news, his arm has healed since getting back. Bad news, Tommy looks nervous and maybe a hint of stressed as the video starts. But hey, he's in the greenhouse, which is obvious from the greenery around him. And his communication device is propped up against something, because his hands are in the shot, working at the soil around a lush Cyanana plant, clearly working fertilizer into the soil with care.]

So, like... Just because we've got the ships and stuff doesn't mean it's not important for us to maintain the greenhouse, right? We were gone for a while and not all the places in here did well while we were gone. And then I was walking around and realized that we're sorta scattered, the people working here. So maybe people with the skill should, like, coordinate? Because fresh food on the ships is good too. We can preserve shit and put it on the ships for variation.

I also wanna do, like, hydroponics on some of the ships. So if we gets spaced again for a while, we can have fresh stuff.

Guess...

[He sighs and his hand cards through his hair. Which means some dirt is now there in the perfect white strands.]

Guess I mean I'm willing to help organize. Map out the greenhouse, help us figure out schedules and when to work on different plants and that shit. Or not. Someone else can take that charge. I don't much care. It just needs done. Might also need an engineer to help with the ship part. And maybe people to okay adding it to other ships and to take care of the plants.

Anyway uh...

[Let him be useful. He failed as a hero in the storm. Disappointment and frustration flash across his face in the video and then it's gone.]

Thoughts?

Comments

[doubled_speed]

I left when you needed me.

[wearingthestars]

...That was... we were all messed up. It wasn't up to you to fix me when you were dealing with it too. I was the one so caught up in my head that I wasn't there for you or Teddy.

[doubled_speed]

[No one had been there for Tommy. Teddy and Tommy had been there so hard for Billy that it was hard to be anything else.]

I was fine. I'm fine.

[He's so far from fine.]

[wearingthestars]

[Billy didn't even realize how deep into that disassociate state he'd gotten until it was far too late. He'd missed his chance to be there for them then, but he can still be there for them now.]

You're not though...

[doubled_speed]

[He's not. He's so not. But how is he supposed to even open up with that?]

I'm really fine. It's okay. And you're okay now, because Teddy is here.

[And he's going to lose his brother because of that.]

[wearingthestars]

...I'm not. [Maybe if Billy opens up first it will help. That's his hope at least.] I mean...I'm better- than I was- obviously. But...I'm not fine. And I don't think you are either.

[doubled_speed]

[He's not fine, and Tommy doesn't want to accept that. But he's definitely getting a bit more defensive, because he's wrapping his arms around himself.]

Maybe I wanna be fine. I just... I just...

[He takes a deep breath.]

People keep leaving.

[wearingthestars]

...I know.

[Billy nods softly.]

They do.
It's not- you...you know it's not your fault, right?

[doubled_speed]

[The anger that flashes over Tommy's face says he REALLY doesn't agree.]

Bullshit.

[wearingthestars]

[That anger makes Billy glance away like he's going to fully back off for a moment, but he seems to find his courage again.]

They didn't leave because of something you did or didn't do. People leave. It's not fair, but it's not your fault.

[doubled_speed]

Then how do you explain Frank and Mary?

[Or the team. That broke up without his wanting it. And then reformed without telling him. He was excluded.]

[wearingthestars]

They were the ones who were supposed to take care of you. There's nothing you ever could have done that justifies what they did, Tommy. That's all on them.

[doubled_speed]

I wasn't good enough!

[He shouts, and the words have to carry. Because it's so loud, so angry.]

[wearingthestars]

[Billy flinches a bit at the shout, and gives his brother a sad look once he recovers, shaking his head firmly.]

They weren't good enough.

[doubled_speed]

They were all I had. All I'd ever had.

[Tommy's shaking now. Because he doesn't know what to do. Because his mouth has opened and things are going to fall out now.]

Why didn't they want me?

[wearingthestars]

...

[There's not a good answer for that, and while Billy's had enough counselling from his mother and his own therapist to make an effort, he doesn't have near enough education to properly handle a topic with that sort of depth.

He tries to close the gap between then, to get close enough to offer some physical comfort.]

...I don't know. But I know you deserved so much more, so please- don't think any of that is your fault-

[doubled_speed]

And you got the perfect family.

[He lets Billy move closer. Would even let himself be hugged.]

I just wanted something. I wanted to be loved too. What kid doesn't?

[wearingthestars]

I...I know.

[And that's something that clearly causes Billy a lot of guilt. Why did they get such different lives? How was that fair?]

If I could change things- [But he's learned his lesson about messing with anything so big as that. And so instead he pulls Tommy into a hug. He can't change Tommy's past, but he can give him that love now.]

[doubled_speed]

[Wow, what a hug. He definitely lets the hug happen, closing his eyes. It needs to happen.]

You're not gonna want me around with Teddy here now. He's always your first.

[wearingthestars]

[He holds him tight and shakes his head.]

That's not how love works. It's not finite. I'm always going to want you. Always.

[doubled_speed]

You're going to want him more. You're always going to want him around. So I just gotta stay out of the way. I'm good at doing that.

[wearingthestars]

You sound like me when the twins were born.

I want you BOTH. Teddy being here doesn't mean I suddenly don't have room for you.

[doubled_speed]

[The twins? Billy's little brothers? But... but the Kaplans are always full of love.]

Doesn't it, though? Because you've been about Teddy always. The only reason you even found me was for him.

[wearingthestars]

[Doesn't stop the irrational fear of a previously only child from getting the best of him.]

Loving Teddy doesn't stop me from loving you. Or from wanting you around. Needing you around.

[doubled_speed]

[What? That doesn't make sense.]

Listen just... yeah. Teddy gets first dibs. We all know that. Which is why he gets the room with you.