So much for a normal life...

[beepbeepmotherfucker]

WHO: Eddie and you!
WHERE: Various places
WHAT: Shenanigans!
WHEN: early May
WARNINGS: Grossness. Acid snot is disgusting, man.



My Car!

Eddie sighs as he gets out of his rental car. He looks up and down the street. Hopefully he's finally found a decent place to park and he'll make it one day without losing a vehicle.

He pulls his bag out of the back seat, slinging it over his shoulder as he starts toward his office building. At that moment, a piece of the building next to him is broken off by some superhero fight or another. It plummets to the street and, you guessed it, crushes his car. He turns, eyes wide. "Oh come on!"

Achoo cw: mucus

Determined to keep the day from being a total loss, Eddie takes himself out to lunch. He finds a nice little sidewalk cafe and settles with his newspaper. He shakes his head as he reads over the latest headlines. Alien invasions and giant cats. "What the hell is this city coming to?"

A strong breeze rustles the pages. Unfortunately, it also rustles the nearby tree, shaking loose pollen and who knows what else. Eddie feels a tingling in his nose and gasps. "Oh no. Ooooh no." He claps his hand over his nose and mouth, panicking. No, no, no. He can't hold it in. Turning, he prays no one is walking by as he sneezes. The spray sizzles as it hits the plants and pavement and anything else in its path, acid burning through everything it touches.

"Uuuuhhhhhh. Check please?"

Wildcard.

[Want to do anything with Eds before he turns to the dark side? Now is the time! If you want to plot hit me up at eternalferret or Discord at SupahFerret#0368]

Comments

[mrsklover]

Richie is still recovering from his time at the bank with the armed robber when he passes what looks like the end of a battle above him. For the millionth time he thanks his lucky stars that he wasn't gifted with the ability to fly. Everything up there looks dangerous and complicated and Richie can't be bothered. He keeps walking up until there is the familiar sound of a building cracking. After that he is just able to watch as the piece of glass and metal plummets down and into a car.

Into the car of...well. A really hot guy. With a goatee. And, apparently, a bad day that just got worse.

Richie waits about a moment, wondering if he should just keep walking before he figures he might as well and crosses over to the poor guy and his mangled car. Under his arm, he pulls out his notepad so he can not immediately put the guy to sleep asking if he is okay. Instead he writes:

Hey! Are you okay? Other than the compact car, I mean?

And holds it out.

[beepbeepmotherfucker]

Eddie looks up towards where the debris had fallen from. He can see lightning and smoke coming from the rooftop. Great. Another super fight. Ugh.

He doesn't notice the guy until the notebook is held towards him. He starts a little, initially suspicious of people trying to hand him things out of nowhere. Oh. It's a normal looking dude. Yeah, okay. He raises an eyebrow, looking at the notebook. ... Compact car. Okay, he can't help but smirk and shake his head at that one.

"Would you believe me if I said that was my fourth car this week?"

[mrsklover]

By his open-mouthed look of surprise, no. No, he can't believe that it's his fourth car of the week. Richie pulls his notebook back and writes underneath the last bit:

Is that your really messed up super power? The ability to make your insurance jump tall buildings in a single bound?

He hands it back over with another smile and a tiny little thrill. His last joke had made the guy smirk a little. It had been a really nice look.

[beepbeepmotherfucker]

Who the hell is this guy? He's amusing as hell, which he can definitely use right now.

The second crack gets a snort and be shakes his head. "Nah. But could you imagine? One of those stupid rich guys with the crazy super cars. 'you don't know it, yet, but when your next bill comes...'"

[mrsklover]

Oh no. He's cuter when he laughs. Even when it is just a tiny laugh. Richie's cheeks flush a little and he takes the notepad back to draw a funky cartoon of what looks like an evil monopoly man laughing while a rich man cries over his damaged car. Above it he puts a line and 'EVIL DR. __________'

You should write your name there and make it official, Dr.

Smooth.

[beepbeepmotherfucker]

This one finally gets a full laugh from him. Is he going to be late for work? Yeah. Does he care? Not particularly. This guy is funny and... Well, yeah he's cute, too. Besides, any employer has got to be flexible when hero shit happens. He just had his car flattened!

"I don't know," He pauses for a moment, raising an eyebrow. "Dr. Eddie Kaspbrak doesn't really sound very intimidating."

[mrsklover]

That laugh. That laugh. Richie grins ear to ear as he writes 'Eddie K' on the line. And, as an afterthought, puts his own name underneath it. Richie Tozier.

He tears the page off and hands it over as though it was a gift. With the fresh page he kept writing.

It's plenty intimidating with the 'Evil' in front of it. Power of marketing.

He looked back at the broken car for a second and hummed.

So I think you're gonna need an Uber?

[beepbeepmotherfucker]

Eddie takes the paper, his eyes scanning it. He'd say this guy had to be a comedian, but what comedian can't talk? A writer, maybe?

He bobs his head. "Yeah, you've got a point, there." He's got a nice smile. There's just something about him... He just can't put his finger on what. Tilting his head, he smirks at the other man. "Trying to get rid of me so soon, Richie?" He teases, "Actually I work right over there. Honestly, though, I'm not in a huge rush."

[mrsklover]

Get rid of him? He'd rather get rid of his left arm than stop this conversation. Especially when he also doesn't seem eager to leave himself. Frantically he scribbles out his previous note and writes instead:

Not at all! I just didn't want to let the villain up there win by cancelling all your plans for the day.

But if you're just going to work then forget it. They did you a favor.

[beepbeepmotherfucker]

This guy writes fast! Eddie smiles, nodding as he reads the note.

"I don't want to keep you from anything you were gonna do, though. I..."

There's another crack above them and Eddie looks up to see another piece of debris falling their way. He grabs Richie and yanks him forward to safety.

"Whoa! Are you okay?!"

Achoo

[demjiin]

Unfortunately, that was the moment Kaz was walking by the cafe. As if being hit with someone else's snot wasn't gross enough on its own, the glove it was on started smoking ominously. Kaz dropped his cane and yanked the glove off before the acid burned straight through it onto his hand, the suit jacket he was wearing was likewise stripped off when he started to smell ozone from it, too. That, of course, meant his hand was uncovered. Vulnerable. Kaz wasn't entirely clear on remembering why, but he absolutely hated feeling vulnerable.

With the bared hand he reached for the holster under the other arm and pulled the 9 millimeter on Eddie.

After a moment of Kaz looking ice cold, even he seemed to realize he was massively overreacting. The ungloved hand trembled very slightly and Kaz frowned harder. This...wasn't right. He blinked once, then looked away from Eddie as he dropped the gun. Kaz sighed and turned the safety back on as he holstered the weapon.

"That...was disgusting."

[beepbeepmotherfucker]

OH. Oh no. Oh no no no.

Eddie's on his feet in a flash, knocking his chair down. He raises his hands, eyes wide with fear as he stares down that gun. "Oh god! I'm so sorry. I didn't think anyone was walking past!" When the gun is lowered, he breathes a sigh of relief and drops his hands. "Seriously, I'm sorry. I... yeah, there's no way around it. It's gross and super inconvenient.. and I can't help it. Please," He pulls out his wallet, rummaging for cash, "Let me give you something to pay for what I ruined."

[demjiin]

Bending to pick up his cane, Kaz came back up with an unimpressed look.

"Don't try to as I'm certain you wouldn't be able to afford it."

While he shouldn't have known it, Kaz was now aware that particular pair of gloves was easily $3,000. To say nothing of the coat. Unfortunately, it was the right hand and with the left occupied with holding his cane, the right felt naked and vulnerable.

"If your aim is that bad, then you should look in to getting a mask."

[beepbeepmotherfucker]

ohthankgod. He was really hoping the guy would say that. He knew he wouldn't have enough cash to cover things given how expensive that suit looked. But he had to offer.

He sighed and rights his chair, sitting down hard. "I've tried. I haven't been able to find something I can afford that this won't eat through." Even the moisture from his breath slowly started eroding masks over time. The struggle is real.

[demjiin]

That gets a look that is equal parts disgust (I mean come on its snot) and baffled.

"Just a latex piece that makes everything point down whenever you sneeze would be enough."

[beepbeepmotherfucker]

Eddie makes a face. Ugh. He's one of those guys.

"Latex doesn't hold up. Listen, man, I appreciate the tip and all, but I've been living with this my whole life. If I could get rid of this power, I would. Unless you've got any tips for that, I don't know what to tell you."

My Car!

[kyley_b]

It's only a few minutes later when someone literally drops out of the sky next to that totaled car: a tall, lanky guy in a blue uniform with a silver cowl that hides his hair. Almost - a few red curls have escaped. Not that that's what's going to draw the eye since he also has a red and yellow kite strapped to his back.

Yup.

"Oh, dude, was that your car?" As if this is a perfectly sane opening to a conversation. "I'm sorry, I was trying to hit the other guy, kinda got that part of the building. My bad."

[beepbeepmotherfucker]

Eddie stares at the... person... who lands nearby. "What the heck are you supposed to be?" No, really. Jesus, these heroes just keep getting weirder and weirder.

"And yes that was my car! I swear, you hero types don't ever care about collateral damage. Do you have any idea how many times this has happened this week alone?!"

[kyley_b]

He gives a little salute. "The Human Kite," he replies proudly. But then he gives Eddie a sympathetic look.

"This happened to you more than once this week? Jeez. You must be the unluckiest guy in the city." He digs into a little pouch on his belt. "Okay, well, I really am sorry - laser eyes, sometimes you miss what you're aiming for - so let me take care of the car repairs?" He pulls out a fucking business card. Yup. It does indeed say HUMAN KITE on it. He produces a pen and writes on the back. "You can take this to Stan's Garage, they'll bill me." He offers the card over, smiling. "Cool?"

Stan's Garage. I see what you did there.

[beepbeepmotherfucker]

"The Human... Kite..." With laser eyes? Sure. Okay. Why not?

He sighs, raking his fingers through his hair before holding up four fingers. "Yup. My insurance company freaking loves me." Oh hey, but this is nice. He takes the card, looking a little dubious for a moment before he smiles and tucks it into his pocket. "Thanks. That's really nice of you to offer. Definitely more than most other heroes around this city do."

:D

[kyley_b]

"Four times?! Dude." He considers asking if maybe the guy ran over an old witchy lady or something and this was a retaliation curse.

"Yeah, well, don't tell anybody, but some of us aren't exactly wealthy billionaires, so we can understand shit like insurance rates." He grins a little. "Have you met many other heroes?"

[beepbeepmotherfucker]

He nods. Tell him about it, dude.

That comment gets a laugh. "You're not all Iron Man, huh? But yeah, I've met a few this week." He ticks them off on his fingers. "A lady who vaporized some aliens... and my car. A guy with a giant cat thing that crushed my car with its tail. He was a dick. And a guy whose giant robot cat thing threw my car at a space ship... oh! And Captain America. He bashed in the side of my car with his shield. So this one makes five."

[kyley_b]

"Nope," Kyle agrees, smiling. His smile fades as this poor guy keeps counting off the number of times his car has been wrecked. Yeah, he was pretty glad to be sending him to Toolshed, aka Stan.

"I always kinda side-eye captain America," he admits. "It just seems weird to be so patriotic. Or maybe I'm a cynical asshole. Tell you what, though, I ever see any of those people I'll give em hell for you."

[beepbeepmotherfucker]

His life this week has been beyond shitty. Seriously. He gives Human Kite a tired half-smile. "Captain America at least took care of getting me a new rental. He actually seems like a legitimately nice person. Surprised the hell out of me." He pauses for a moment. "Thanks again for the referral."

[kyley_b]

"Aw, okay, now I feel guilty for thinking he's kinda sus."

Kyle beams. "Hey, no problem dude. Or, uh. Citizen, or whatever. Right. I oughtta fuck off outta here, make sure nobody else got hurt. Maybe I'll see you around."