revivalproject | I didn't mean for it to happen

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I didn't mean for it to happen

WHO: Billy, Tommy, Bucky/The Soldier, OTA
WHERE: Temba, YA House
WHAT: The aftermath
WHEN: Early June
WARNINGS: TBD

The Return & What Follows (for Tommy)

Billy screamed, and the world dissolved. The Shadow had shielded him from the worst of it, assaulted by those memories in a non stop barrage for however long they were in there, but now he remembered it all. He dimly registered he was back in his calibration room, hoping he'd managed to release the others before he collapsed heavily onto the floor. He shouldn't have been able to perform that level of magic here. And whatever had allowed it abruptly cut it off with his return, utterly drained from the experience.

He was unconscious, in and out of nightmares for days before he finally jolted awake in a cold sweat, practically tumbling from the bed in his race to the bathroom to retch.

What had he done?

Avoidance [OTA]

Even after he awoke, Billy didn't want to leave the house. He was ashamed and scared, and used the excuse of resting for far longer than was true.

A few faces managed to hunt him down there, and it wasn't like Billy could turn them away, eventually relenting and breaking down a few of those barriers.

After that it was a little easier to venture out. It took a few smaller outing before he was able to get as far as the Hospital, but there at least he could focus on work.

(For Bucky/The Soldier)

Billy knew he probably wanted to stay hidden away as much as he did right now, but after what they'd been through together in the other world, he trusted the man to help him with this. Tommy and the others would refuse, but he was confident Bucky would understand. And he needed to apologize.

His magic was still weak, but it led him to the general location where he was meant to be. Billy couldn't quite meet his eye when he found him, swallowing thickly and looking uncomfortable.

"...Hey. Could we talk?"

Apology- Network- Text

I can't begin to make up for what I put you all through this last month. I had no right, and I'm so sorry you all got caught up in this mess.

I know that doesn't begin to make it right.

They did something to me. Like Calibrations...but worse. I don't know how. And I'm not trying to make excuses for what I did but- I'm scared they'll do it again. To any of us. I thought people should know.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Clearly he had found people with bad taste. Or perhaps it was something else, some piece of humanity he'd long since lost.

"I've lived more of my life being a weapon, than I have anything else," he admitted quietly. "I'm uniquely trained to think like this. I hope it's not something you have to learn."

Billy's face twisted a little, thinking it was an unfortunately likely outcome. Plenty of people had all ready tried to kill him, or manipulated him to gain control of his power, and he wasn't even close to full strength yet. And that wasn't even getting into the political side of things with his eventual marriage to Teddy.

It was a lesson he was probably due to learn.

"...Well I wanna do whatever I can to make sure none of us are used as weapons here."

He studied Billy for a long moment. Judging sincerity yes, but it was easy to be sincere, and Billy was so open about it. Under that though there was at least something that spoke to inexperience, whether it was that exactly or naivete or something that just wanted to see the universe as inherently good, he couldn't say.

The Soldier sighed; this was going to end his solitude, he knew. But he knew too that it was something he had to do.

(Not a hero. Stubbornly, he told his own thoughts to shut up.)

"I will help you," he eventually confirmed.

Billy so badly wanted to see the good in people. He had his prejudices like anyone else, but he believed in his heart that the world- the universe- was inherently good. It had to be...

Maybe that was foolish. There was plenty of bad out there, but that's why they fought, wasn't it? Because at the end of the day they believed it was something worth fighting for.

He smiled warmly, grateful, and a little awkward. "...You can be an honorary Young Avenger," he offered with a teasing grin to soften some of that tension.

Maybe the universe was good, who knew? The Soldier certainly couldn't speak on it with any authority, having mostly seen the bad of it. But he knew that others could hold hope for something better in their lives. Billy seemed to, and he didn't want to take that away from the younger man.

He looked at Billy again, but the offer seemed sincere. Still, it didn't fit right. Not a hero. "Think my age alone prevents that, don't you?"

"We could say regular Avenger, but I dunno if I have naming powers there," he offered with a soft smirk, "...It's just a name, we didn't even pick it. Don't stress too hard. Team ... uh- something witty. I'm not good with names. My first code name was Asgardian."

"I'm pretty sure I'm a wanted criminal." He has to be, though it wasn't like he'd stayed around enough to ask, after the mess in DC. "So that likely precludes any inclusion anyway."

He tilts his head curiously, thinking of Loki. "Are you Asgardian?"

Edited 2021-06-15 21:39 (UTC)

"...Eh-" Billy's head tilted, indicating that more than a few of them had been wanted at one point in time.

"No-" he flushed, "I just uh-...I liked them a lot. My dad used to tell me stories, and when we first formed we were trying to model ourselves off of the original avengers. I was supposed to be the kind of Thor analog. Stuck to my electrokinesis, and just used the magic to fly mostly...I had little wings-" he gestured to the side of his head.

"I knew an Asgardian, back in the Fleet. Loki." They had been close, though the relationship between them wasn't really defined. It wasn't romantic, but it felt deeper than friendship, an understanding between two ghosts.

He wondered, sometimes where Loki was now. If he still wandered the universe.

Turning his attention back to Billy, he couldn't help asking, "what do you call yourself now?"

"Mm? I knew a Loki too..." Billy shared a smile that suggested it too was a complicated relationship, though for different reasons that the Soldier. "He trained me for a while."

"It's uh...Wiccan now. Still some debate about it." Since he wasn't really wiccan himself.

"My earlier offer to work with you still stands." Not quite training, but practice. "It might amuse both of our Lokis."

The Soldier nodded, considering Billy and his city and the collar and the blue light that flitted around his fingers earlier. "Defining yourself is up to you alone. And I will call you whichever name you prefer."

"Definitely. You're stuck with me now," Billy promised with an apologetic grin.

"Just Billy's fine here," he concluded easily, "Not much reason to bring out the costume when everyone here knows who I am."

The Soldier nodded, then frowned. "Why do you phrase it like that? Stuck with?" It seemed to echo something like a conversation they'd had in that other place.

"Billy, then. Unless you tell me otherwise." Names were important, which was also why the Soldier didn't really have one. He didn't consider himself enough of a person for it.

"Uh-" Billy flushed, not really used to being called on his self depreciating humor. "I dunno ... habit, I guess? Didn't really grow up with a whole lot of friends?"

Billy could tell names were a big deal for the Soldier, and he gave a bit of a sad smile, clearly wanting to be able to call him by one too. "I'll answer to whatever as long as you say it nice enough," he teased with a faint shrug, "Tommy's big into nicknames, it doesn't really bother me."

"Like in that other place?" When Billy had all but admitted to the Soldier-who-was-the-Captain that he had no friends and very small opinion of himself?

Interesting.

"I don't think I could name something. Someone." Not when he couldn't even name himself, didn't possess enough of himself to do it yet. Nicknames felt even more unnatural, a kind of casual familiarity that shouldn't be tainted by his participation therein.

"Yeah. That was uh...that was a pretty accurate version of me. Minus the magic and stuff. Guess Tommy kept me from getting beat up quite as much as in the real world?" Maybe?

Billy wouldn't point out that 'Billy' was technically a nickname too. "Sometimes it just feels right." But he didn't do it often himself either.

He looked at Billy sharply. "Do I have to physically train you after all?" Not that he was unaware of the cruelty of others. It was very unfortunately prevalent sometimes.

"And when no name at all feels right, what do you then do?" How would he handle the Soldier's situation?

"Well no one here's beating me up-" he replied in response to that sharp look, and then more seriously- "When my powers came in I nearly killed the main guy who used to do that, so...they kind of stopped messing with me. But if you wanna join in on Lauri-Ell's quest to make me actually able to throw a punch or whatever-?"

"Then I guess...you don't?" Honestly, Billy wasn't sure what the right answer was, and it showed, cheeks pink. "I dunno...it's a new concept for me."

"Hmm..." He looked Billy over head to toe, considering again. Definitely not a physical fighter, that much was obvious from his build. "Punching isn't what you need. Defensive moves, ones that buy you the time to use your magic, that would serve you better."

He nodded more to himself than anything. If Billy wanted him to, they could work together. He could work with this.

"I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. It's not easy for people to understand, I think." He paused again, considering. "Or maybe they just don't want to, but I don't get that impression from you."

"Yeah?" Billy looked curious, approving of that assessment. He'd much rather work on the defensive side of things. He'd managed a magic aided punch once- on Loki (he deserved it), and even that had left his hand aching for days.

"No- I'm not- I mean- it's just new- it's okay. My brain's just used to calling you something else. And no ones every asked me not to...before. But I do. I wanna understand," he assured.

Of course Loki deserved it. Anyone who'd ever met any version of Loki would agree. But the Soldier had trained (or been used to train) enough people to know with one look that Billy was not a brawler. "I taught defense to two shipmates in the Fleet. Sansa, if you know her, is one of them. I could teach you too."

Moving to the next building gave him time to think of the wording for his response. He didn't talk much about himself as a rule; what happened to him was private. But there could be a way to talk about it that Billy might understand. "How much do you know about me? I mean, did your magic when you made the city, tell you anything about my life?"

"I knew her a bit," he confirmed. Tommy had been closer to her than he ever had, "She's um...she left again," he informed apologetically, unsure if the Soldier knew.

Billy followed after him, considering, "Um, I know about about the you from my world. My home world. I don't know how much is the same, but it seems like there's some...cross over," he guessed.

"I had a feeling, when I didn't see her after the city illusion ended." Not that anyone had wanted to hang around in that room, but still.

He nodded as they started to explore the latest possiblity. At the very least it had two entrances, so it was already gaining some points. "But nothing specific to me as I am here, that is what I needed to know. Nothing about my time with the Fleet?"

"No," he confirmed, "Nothing I remember at least." His magic might have delved into people to craft some of their lives, but it was far too much for his mind to retain.

Billy tested the floorboards for any signs of rot again, finding them to be pretty sturdy.

So far, so good, at least as far as the building went. No floor rot and no apparent water damage; the Soldier moved over to a wall to inspect it a little more closely.

"When I arrived, people greeted me. They knew me, though it soon became apparent that the me they knew, wasn't me. Timelines or the multiverse or whatever you want to call it, it wasn't unusual. I was the only one of me present but I learned that others used the name Bucky. Or Winter. James. Jim. It felt... strange. But I was the only one, and I'd read in a museum that I used to go by Bucky. So I used that."

He paused, moving on to the next wall. And just resting hid voice; it was a lot of speaking for someone who never said much.

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I kept typing Loki as Loli idefk

lol

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