revivalproject | I didn't mean for it to happen

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I didn't mean for it to happen

WHO: Billy, Tommy, Bucky/The Soldier, OTA
WHERE: Temba, YA House
WHAT: The aftermath
WHEN: Early June
WARNINGS: TBD

The Return & What Follows (for Tommy)

Billy screamed, and the world dissolved. The Shadow had shielded him from the worst of it, assaulted by those memories in a non stop barrage for however long they were in there, but now he remembered it all. He dimly registered he was back in his calibration room, hoping he'd managed to release the others before he collapsed heavily onto the floor. He shouldn't have been able to perform that level of magic here. And whatever had allowed it abruptly cut it off with his return, utterly drained from the experience.

He was unconscious, in and out of nightmares for days before he finally jolted awake in a cold sweat, practically tumbling from the bed in his race to the bathroom to retch.

What had he done?

Avoidance [OTA]

Even after he awoke, Billy didn't want to leave the house. He was ashamed and scared, and used the excuse of resting for far longer than was true.

A few faces managed to hunt him down there, and it wasn't like Billy could turn them away, eventually relenting and breaking down a few of those barriers.

After that it was a little easier to venture out. It took a few smaller outing before he was able to get as far as the Hospital, but there at least he could focus on work.

(For Bucky/The Soldier)

Billy knew he probably wanted to stay hidden away as much as he did right now, but after what they'd been through together in the other world, he trusted the man to help him with this. Tommy and the others would refuse, but he was confident Bucky would understand. And he needed to apologize.

His magic was still weak, but it led him to the general location where he was meant to be. Billy couldn't quite meet his eye when he found him, swallowing thickly and looking uncomfortable.

"...Hey. Could we talk?"

Apology- Network- Text

I can't begin to make up for what I put you all through this last month. I had no right, and I'm so sorry you all got caught up in this mess.

I know that doesn't begin to make it right.

They did something to me. Like Calibrations...but worse. I don't know how. And I'm not trying to make excuses for what I did but- I'm scared they'll do it again. To any of us. I thought people should know.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

"I get it as much as I can, at least," he amended.

"Heh, uh, yeah sure, if you wanna think of it that way. Fair trade. And it gives me extra reason to come bug you out here."

"Because you tried." Some people he'd encountered didn't. Others simply couldn't get over the fact that he didn't match what they expected. Either way it was uncomfortable.

"No holes in the ceiling here," he noted. Not much in interesting interior either, but he could make it work. It wasn't like he needed anything much in amenities. "So I guess you could find me here."

"My mom's a psychologist. My...real mom. (Complicated). Back home. Kinda rubbed off on me a bit I guess?" He shrugged dismissively. He tried. But he also held everyone hostage for a month, so...eh.

"...Could use a coat of paint," he teased with a glance around, but nodded, "Fits the criteria. Guess I know where to look for you. For a while at least."

"Has nothing to do with that." Psychology or not, Billy just listened with an open mind. That helped more than anything else. And perhaps his city had helped most of all, given that it brought them together enough for Billy to seek him out here.

The Soldier looked around the interior was a dirty sort of brownish-grey, not uncommon in this place. "You know if you ask for paint, they're going to send something eye-searingly pink. I'll take it as is." He didn't address the idea that he'd leave it eventually. Billy knew how to find him. And how to just ask.

"Heh- I dunno, maybe it's just the weird loner kid thing. We're compatible."

"You now you're talking to a guy who can alter reality?" Billy countered with a small smile. Not that he had the energy to do interior design right now. "...I guess it's all right. Ticks all the boxes."

"Maybe." Loner certainly described him. And weird too, he supposed. Beyond that he hoped they didn't have much in common, because he didn't like the idea of Billy experiencing trauma or pain on the level that he did. There didn't seem to be a good way to ask though, so he kept quiet about those thoughts.

"No. I'm talking to a... friend. One who is probably tired from being made to use his magic on a large scale, for a long time." The Soldier looked at Billy carefully, considering. It was no small gesture for him to use the word friend, just like it was no small gesture to allow Billy to see the place he'd use as a shelter. "I don't require more than this."

All things considered Billy'd had a pretty good life compared to what the Soldier had been through. Or many of his friends. But he had his share of bad too. Some of it might come out over time.

His face brightened, glancing over curiously at that term and smiling. A friend. He liked that. "...Mmm, well just a warning then, I tend to like to take care of my friends. So...you'll have to get used to at least a little bit of that."

Maybe some day. The Soldier could hold secrets, if needed — and that didn't just mean the holes in his memory.

But maybe the pain was worth it, in a way, to see the way Billy brightened. The Soldier could recognize happiness and contentment in others, though he had a hard time parsing it for himself.

"You don't need to, you know." He shrugged and absolutely did not look embarrassed. "I'm used to less. Having too much comfort, it— I don't do well with it."

"Yeah, I know, but...I like to." So- if he refused he'd really being denying Billy, not himself. No need to be embarrassed. "You can tell me off if I over do it, I promise, but it makes me happy."

Billy didn't like that it was something the Soldier was used to going without.

He sat in silence for a long moment, considering Billy's words and his own feelings about the situation. The problem was that Billy honestly seemed like a good person, not unlike how he appeared in the illusion world.

"Power, talent like that... it could be used for a lot of things. Especially in a place like this. I would caution you to ensure that your willingness to do things like that does not get turned into a feeling of obligation." A beat. "If I had to have a conversation with someone who was taking advantage, they would not enjoy it."

Lips quirking softly, Billy gave a short nod and crossed and 'x' over his heart. "...Promise. Outside of any tampering with my mind, any magic I do, I'll do because I want."

It was touching that the Soldier seemed to care so much. Given the nature of his magic not a lot of people really thought too hard about it, sometimes including Billy himself. "...I appreciate you looking out for me though."

"And if something does tamper with your mind, I will stop you." With the collar, with restraint if necessary. "And then I'll stop them." From the tone of his voice, it would be rather a violent stopping.

Talk to the hand, anyone?

"Someone has to." The Soldier leaned back against the wall, raising a hand to point out the features of his chosen shelter. "Look at the angles, the sightlines. The advantage is with the person inside, who has a good angle on both entrances as long as he remains in the back third of the space. See?"

Between the Solider, Tommy, and Lauri-Ell, Billy had gathered quite the little security force. He flushed, believing him, however impossible it might seem after what happened.

He looked to follow the gesture, head tilting as he tried to see things the way the Soldier did, nodding fainting. "...I think so," he concluded after a moment, "...You're always ready for a fight, aren't you?"

"I am," he confirmed, dropping his hand. "I don't want to be. But I can't walk into a room and not immediately assess the potential threats therein. I can't meet a person without evaluating how I'd disable him. It's how I've been programmed." He didn't like it, knew that it made him less person and more weapon. But in a place like this, it could be useful.

"It sounds exhausting." It wasn't accusing, just an observation. Like a very specialized kind of anxiety. "...How would you disable me?" Billy asked with a curious tilt of his head, "If you didn't have the collar."

"As exhausting as going through introductions and small talk every time you meet someone?" Different experiences, different definitions of normal.

There was no hesitation I
the reply. "You're close enough for me to have my hand around your throat before you could move against me. Cutting off your air supply until you pass out would be the kindest way." He shrugged. "Assuming that physical damage is not the objective, and therefore must be minimized."

He laughed softly. "Fair."

Billy nodded, fingers unconsciously brushing over his throat. "...That would probably work," he agreed. "I might try to shock you," he warned, waggling his fingers to show a few arcs of electricity. It wasn't a power he showed off often here, and within the confines of the hypothetical it might be one the Soldier was willing to suffer through in the time it took to knock him out.

"My spells don't tend to work if I can't hear them. Or speak them," he added, wanting to give him as much information to work with if things ever did go wrong again.

"I've been shocked before." He doubted that Billy would willingly generate the kind of charge needed to wipe him the way HYDRA did — at least not before the Soldier could disable him.

"So you're telling me to box your ears and gag you," he deadpanned; coming from someone else it might sound silly. The Soldier simply catalogued the information, because he couldn't not catalog the information. "Do you not feel vulnerable, telling me your weaknesses? If I was to be triggered, you might never know I was after you until it was too late."

"...Yeah, pretty much," he laughed softly and shrugged a shoulder. "I all ready gave you the collar. And I'm pretty sure you'd manage all right even without me telling you. I trust you. And I trust Tommy to figure things out if something goes wrong."

"I don't think Tommy would trust me, when it came to you." He paused. "That's not an insult. There's a reason you gave me the collar, and not him."

After another moment of hesitation he spoke again, twisting his wrist to ripple the plates in his arm. "If you need to disable me, a large shock will override the relays for a few seconds. Don't hesitate after that, and use force you'd consider lethal to a normal person. You won't have much time."

"Probably not," Billy agreed. Though he wasn't in small company there, Tommy didn't trust many people when it came to Billy.

He frowned, glancing over before he eventual gave a hesitant nod. Billy didn't want to have to disable him, but if it did come down to it, it was good to know the best way. "...Kay," he promised, wanting the soldier at least be able to feel secure in knowing that he wouldn't let him hurt anyone if things went wrong.

The Soldier didn't blame Tommy. He didn't understand the depth of the bond between them on more than an academic level but that hardly mattered; it existed. That was all he needed to know.

"Ideally," he started, "if we have to fight, it would be together, and not against each other. But I don't think we can trust the Agrii to keep things that way. I stil can't figure out why they lured you into the chamber. What were they after?"

"We'd be a pretty kick ass team," Billy mused, imagining the pairing in his head. But then he shrugged with a more serious look. "...I don't know. I keep trying to come up with some reason that wasn't just...trying to make me go off like a bomb, but..."

"That could have been the reason." He sighed; the Soldier didn't pace restlessly but he might have given the impression that if he had the habit, he'd be indulging. "The Atroma were able to flip the switches in our brains at their whim. If the Agrii are looking to that as inspiration, then it could be simple emulation."

He shook his head. He couldn't help the suspicious thoughts. "They'd already brought the entire group into Calibrations as a whole. Maybe they figure they can get what they want by targeting us individually."

"What if I'd just killed everyone instead of...playing make believe??" It was a hell of a risk, but...if they really were just play things to them maybe that didn't matter. They'd just bring in a new group.

"...We need to block of the tunnel. Make it harder for them to get any of us down there."

I didn't mean for it to happen

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