revivalproject | A New Home

Entry tags:

A New Home

WHO: Obi-Wan Kenobi and YOU
WHERE: The Museum aka The New Jedi Temple
WHAT: Making a new temple for the Jedi!
WHEN: All of April
WARNINGS: None atm

The first days after they arrived back from Coruscant, Obi-Wan was busy. The Jedi essentially hitting the ground running now that he’s been energized by his vacation back home. The first priority was making sure Padme and the twins were comfortable. Then came the task of finding an appropriate place in Temba for a temple.

Before the impromptu trip to Coruscant someone had suggested the amphitheater. However upon looking it over the Jedi decided it didn’t suit the purposes that were needed. So he kept looking. Though he didn’t have to look far as he came across a cluster of buildings that seemed to be a museum complex. After looking over the overgrown and run down grounds he decided that it would be perfect. It would just need some cleaning up and repurposing.

Thus a call is put out on the network. Asking for help in setting up this new home for the Jedi if anyone is willing. Those with the engineering data points would be especially appreciated, as would the advice of those with agriculture for setting up a garden. But really any free hands would do with the promise of the favor being returned down the road.

The time didn’t matter as Obi-Wan will be working on it all month. Cleaning out the buildings and their exhibits. Pieces of artifacts carefully picked up and put away for later sorting and hopefully reassembly. One of the smaller buildings being converted into a holding place for animals and/or potential vehicles. The other intended for living spaces. The largest building was a grand hall and Obi-Wan intended this to be the main structure for learning, sparring, meeting, and whatever else they could use it for. Last but not least the smallest, yet very tall building with a large platform inside was to be made into a place of meditation.

There is a lot to be done and more hands make light work!

((OOC: Feel free to consider this a mingle thread! Obi-Wan isn’t the only Jedi around but I’ll throw him at anyone unless specified otherwise.))

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

"Thanks, Master Kenobi," Ezra replies, warmly. "That sounds great."

He actually finds that never knows whether he's going to like a particular tea or not, since he never really had any before he joined the Specters, but he will certainly give any blend a try.

"It's starting to come together. Is there...anything in particular you're supposed to do to make it sort of official?" he asks. He doubts it matters much as far as the Force is involved, but Jedi, like any other people, have their customs and rituals and those he still has a lot to learn about.

Motioning for Ezra to come with him, Obi-Wan then thoughtfully goes quiet at that particular question. His arms folded with one hand stroking his beard as they walked. His pace slow and leisurely as his cloak billowed around him.

“You know, I’m not really sure. All of the temples are so old, and I’ve never seen one built.” It was just not something he has ever thought about before. The order had all the temples they needed so there was no reason to erect more.

“But I’m certain we can think of something.” It wasn’t a bad idea. Some sort of christening of the new temple seemed right.

"Oh," Ezra says with a blink, a little surprised Master Kenobi doesn't just know. "I didn't even think to look it up when we were actually at the Archives."

Sure, an answer might be buried in the sources they made copies of, but maybe not. "Coming up with something works, too."

An amused smile played on Obi-Wan’s face as he saw Ezra’s surprise. Even he would admit that he doesn’t know everything. There was tens of thousands of years of Jedi culture and it was hard to know it all. If anyone knew the answer to that question though it would be Master Yoda.

“Even if there is, I think coming up with some of our own traditions wouldn’t be a bad thing. What we do here will be different in many ways from the Jedi before us, so it would make sense to make everything our own.”

Ezra nods slowly.

"Our community her in Temba is tiny. We have to keep the greater good of the Agrii and the Agra-10 in mind, and while we can train with the assumption assume we're going back to our native times and places-" And the Empire, and the Sith. "We can't know that."

“Yes, that’s quite right. We have to be mindful of all of that, but also live with the circumstances we are in at this moment. Everything can change in a moment in this place.”

They’ve both already seen some of that first hand.

“You have probably never heard of this. But there are documented cases of Jedi who were separated from the order and had to carve out a living for themselves.”

"I can see how that could happen. Out on the edges of the Rim, and past it, especially. So even a Jedi alone can still be a Jedi," he muses.

Then hesitates. "I know Kanan didn't consider himself one, for years. He said he lost his way. Not - not to Darkness. He tried to stop listening to the Force at all."

“Yes, it’s said that a Jedi ship crashed on the planet Haruun Kal during the Sith wars for example. The survivors becoming a civilization of force sensitives that still live there to this day.”

It was where Mace Windu had come from. One of the greatest Jedi of his time and someone that Obi-Wan himself deeply respected.

“Kanan is not alone in that,” Obi-Wan says quietly. “Grogu did much the same and he’s only starting to embrace the Force again. After everything that has happened, especially since it did while they were both young, it’s easy to understand. I can’t blame them. Especially since I’ve struggled as well.”

Ezra turns to give Obi-wan a small smile, backed by a pulse of warmth and compassion, through the Force.

"We'll work on it together," he said, firmly. And then a little more hesitantly, "There's all kind of details I don't know, because not my business, but I do know that somehow Hera encouraged Kanan to stop rejecting the Force. And to offer to train me."

He appreciates the sentiment, both spoken and not. Forming bonds with these young Padawans is a bit bittersweet. There’s an aching void where Anakin used to be, and he wasn’t use to feeling others. But Ezra’s nudging kept reminding him and he couldn’t help but smile again, sending his own sense of warmth and gratitude through that tether.

“Having support makes all the difference. The Jedi believe in that as well. Despite our rule of no attachments, that doesn’t mean we don’t care for one another. Far from it really.”

"No attachments," Ezra says out loud, thoughtfully.

"Can you...explain that some more? Because I'll be honest, I'm kinda confused. Kanan always said things like our connections can make us stronger, but also that we have to be mindful of our feelings and how we act on them. Not letting the fear for people we care about control us. But some of the things in the shared meditation Master Fay tasked us with - I'm missing something. To what you mean by that belief or maybe the specific of those memories."

“Yes of course,” Obi-Wan says as they make it to the residential building, stepping inside and motioning for Ezra to have a seat.

“I actually had a talk with Grogu about that on Coruscant. There is a lot of misconception surrounding it outside the order. And even some Jedi interpret it differently.”

He then walks away to start making the tea, giving himself a moment to gather his thoughts so that he can explain it.

"Ok. Good to know," Ezra says, sincerely.

He'd raised the memories of Satine of the example, but he hasn't forgotten the swirl of feelings around the Temple when Padme was in labor. He'd caught on, of course, that some of the uncertainty, and interest, and hints of disapproval had to be tied to some of the Temple Jedi assuming Obi-wan was the twins' biological father.

Or maybe it was more about the assumed relationship between Padme and Obi-wan then the existance of the twins themselves. He is really not sure. But Master Kenobi's words were a good reminder. All of those feelings had been individual's feelings and the Jedi weren't a monolith.

He grabs a plate to get some food, and then he settles in the chair, waiting for Master Kenobi to collect his thoughts.

It only takes a few minutes, but eventually Obi-Wan comes back with two steaming cups of tarine tea. Placing one in front of Ezra and keeping the other as he sits down across from the Padawan.

“Much of the confusion surrounding that topic comes from the very word, attachment. It is assumed that Jedi have no feelings or relationships with anyone. Which is simply not true. If it were so, each Jedi would be an island. Cut off from others with only their connection to the Force. There are some who do that. Scholars living lives of isolation in meditation and study. While there is nothing wrong with that if that is the path one wishes to take, it is clearly not for everyone as you saw at the temple. Especially when it means keeping structure to the order and raising younglings. We Jedi are a community and a culture.”

He thanks Obi-wan for the tea, and holds his cup while he listens.

"That...all makes sense to me, I think. And it makes sense that a lot of the important relationship for individual Jedi would be, um, inside the Order. Like any other community or family."

He finally takes a sip of his tea. "I feel like there's a 'but' hanging, here."

“I am getting to that,” Obi-Wan says patiently as he takes a sip of his tea. He’s leading up to the point he’s trying to make. Consider this the introduction, Ezra.

“From younglings we are taught to rely on each other and form bonds through the clans we are assigned to. By definition that is an attachment, as are the master and Padawan bonds, and any friendships we may have. Those are not forbidden but in fact encouraged. It is when it goes beyond that, that it becomes questionable.”

He lets Ezra digest that for a moment as he reaches for a piece of fruit.

“What we mean by attachments, and what is actually forbidden, is the fear of loss. Romance, marriage, having children, this all sets one up for such feelings as you likely well know. It is in the same vein as why Jedi can not have businesses or accumulate wealth or things. It breeds jealousy, greed, and fear which can lead to anger and hatred. Since we are different from others because or our force sensitivity, you know how dangerous that can be.”

Edited 2021-05-05 23:36 (UTC)

Ezra's quiet for a moment, even after Obi-wan stops speaking, nibbles on bits of vegetables from his plate, as runs that over in his head a few times.

"Our feelings can get way more dangerous," he agrees, finally. Sort of agrees. "I think there's...separate things, that overlap here, and I'm not gonna pretend I know the right way to untangle it. There's the...structure of the Order, which wasn't built on romance and marriage and partners raising children together. And it was made that way on purpose to discourage fear, and clinging. I wasn't raised that way, but I get that." He thinks he does, anyway.

"There's our duties as Jedi, that tangled up relationships can get in the way of - I showed you Kanan talking about that, and...he and Hera loved each other, so much. But duty was important to both of them. And then there's the dangers of the Dark Side. And you don't need a marriage or kids or...what a lot of people what would call a 'normal' family to be afraid or angry enough to tread that path."

His shoulder slump. "I didn't. And here, we don't have the Order."

“It’s not exactly a black and white issue,” Obi-Wan says calmly after Ezra says his piece.

“The Jedi certainly didn’t start out that way. The Order has existed for a very long time and philosophies and rules changed over time, often because of circumstances that required it. Rules were made for good reasons and the code was meant as a guideline to prevent us from losing our way.”

He paused as he took another sip of his tea.

“However, the order was never completely rigid. Anyone could leave when they wanted to if they felt they needed such things in their lives. I might have been one of them if Satine had asked me. Some Jedi freely have sex and have no issue in doing so. Others, like myself, choose not to. Exceptions have been made like with Master Mundi who was one of the last of his species. Permission was granted him to have wives and sire children, though he purposely kept his distance to not become attached.”

He takes a bit of the fruit he had and studies Ezra for a moment before he continues.

“Kanan and you live in a different time, where like you said there is no order. Just as it’s only us here. The point I’m trying to make is that you need to know yourself. That takes time and often comes about through trial and error. Kanan clearly had an understanding of what the Jedi rules meant and his own nature. That takes a level of inner searching and growth that for some takes a lifetime to achieve. He knew his limits and that’s why he was able to find a balance and not give in to his impulses. I believe we all can too in our own way. Though it might look different between us.”

Edited 2021-05-06 00:45 (UTC)

"Ok," Ezra says with a nod. "Yeah. Balance and knowing yourself. Ok. That makes sense. Part of me wants to say I've learned a lot of I need to know about that already - Palpatine dangled changing the past to get my parents back in front of me, and I knew I had to turn him down."

He tilts his head, and pokes food around his plate. "But I think he made an assumption about what would tempt me most, and he miscalculated. I'd let them go years and years ago. I'd thought they were dead. I found out eventually that they hadn't been. That they'd been alive until well after Kanan found me. That it was us putting out a broadcast speaking out against the Empire that got them killed in the end." He swallows hard.

"And that hurt. But it didn't make me scared and angry enough to lose perspective. Malachor did. Kanan and Hera and rest of my new family pulled me back from slipping further. But I need to think more about why. To both parts of that."

Seeing Ezra’s understanding brought a small smile to Obi-Wan’s face but that soon faded as the Padawan told his experiences. The fact that he had come head to head with Palpatine was chilling. Even he hadn’t faced the emperor even though he had wanted to.

Reaching out, Obi-Wan placed his hand on Ezra’s arm in a show of support and comfort as well as passing his compassion through the Force.

“That is the struggle of every Jedi, Ezra. Our lives will never be easy, no matter what our circumstances are. Each of us has our struggles and they are all different, but we draw strength from each other in our experiences. I believe that is what Master Fae was trying to teach us.”

He smiled again in a solemn way as he thought about the Jenet master that was now lost to time. He would miss her.

“I‘ve found that I still have much to learn myself. When I fought Maul the first time I nearly lost myself to anger because of my feelings for my master. I had thought I had let that go as well until he returned and it nearly happened again. Then there was Anakin. Because of my love for him I couldn’t bring myself to kill him. Now I come to find I doomed him to a fate worse than death and burdened the galaxy because of my weakness.”

"And I don't think I can judge you for that," Ezra says with a sigh. "Deliberately killing someone you love, who was too hurt to really fight back anymore. What would that have done to you?"

Ezra's expression is soft with worry and compassion, and some of the affection and esteem he holds for Obi-wan personally, but there's steely determination in his presence in the Force under it. "If you'd had just a little more time, maybe you could have...gotten him away from there and the emperor. Let him die - not at peace, but as peacefully as possible. " That is, he believes, what Master Kenobi as he'd first met him managed to do for Maul, eventually.

"But you were hurt, too, and you needed to get away. You needed to help Padme and the babies. There weren't any good choices there, but surviving, keeping the twins safe, and not giving into despair - that isn't weakness," he insists.

Ezra's words stunned him. Obi-Wan staring quietly at the Padawan in silence as he listened. His lips moving as if he wanted to say something, but couldn't quite bring himself to do it. A shadow falling over his eyes as he thought back to that day, and all the pain that had been involved. Something he tried not to think about most days, despite the nightmares. But now, he willingly looked, and searched his feelings in those moments.

"It would have destroyed me," he then admits quietly. Not just emotionally, but it could have very well tipped him to the dark side. Something he had been worried about in that moment, ending the life of a defenseless man, but hadn't wanted to fully admit.

But wasn't it weakness though? He should have outright killed Anakin, not left him crippled and burning. Only to have unleashed a monster on the galaxy. Pulling his hand back from Ezra's arm, Obi-Wan looks away then, the pain still evident even as he didn't look the young man directly.

"Maybe all of that is true. But I failed him in every way a master could."

And he couldn't forgive himself for that.

Edited 2021-05-06 16:18 (UTC)

"I don't know Anakin. I don't know how he got so lost. But I do know Ahsoka and Rex. They've said he was a great Jedi, strong and compassionate. Maybe his relationship to Padme is part of led him to the Dark Side, I don't know, but from what I've seen she's also brave and good... and then there's you, and that's a lot of amazing people who love him." Ezra lets out a shaky breath and with it some of his anger that someone so loved could let all these people Ezra has come to care about down so horrifically.

"So I believe that he was also those wonderful things, once. Some of that has to be what you taught him. And I know he's not the only former Jedi who's served the Emperor. Not even the only former Knight."

As far as Ezra could tell, Palpatine was just that good at preying on people's worst impulses. Maybe Master Kenobi had made mistakes, but it wasn't all his fault.

Letting out a shaky breath, Obi-Wan raised his hand to pinch his nose as he closed his eyes, trying to hold back the flood of emotion that was coming on. It was all too fresh still, he hadn't been able to put it all behind him.

"And yet that wasn't enough," Obi-Wan said mournfully. All of the love and support surrounding Anakin, and his teachings, hadn't been enough to keep him from darkness. Palpatine had still managed to get to him, and Obi-Wan failed to protect him.

It also hurt to hear that Anakin wasn't the only one, but he couldn't be surprised either. Anakin had been the best of them so if he had fallen, then it stood to reason others would as well.

"Once, yes. But that which had made him Anakin died that day. While not physically, spiritually the friend I loved is no more. Consumed by the darkness." It had been just as Master Yoda had told him. Though Obi-Wan hadn't wanted to believe it until he saw it for himself. The Jedi then paused, looking to Ezra with misty eyes.

"Perhaps that's what happened to you on Malachor, yet you managed to overcome it."

Edited 2021-05-06 17:28 (UTC)

On impulse, he pulls his chair around the table so he can sit closer, and drop a hand against Obi-wan's arm. As he does that, he thinks about just what he should say in response. Because yeah, he hadn't sworn loyalty to a Sith Lord, helped destroy the Order, or tried to kill his master and...whatever and Padme and Anakin has considered each other, but it had been a lot worse than a teenage temper tantrum. He needs to spell out clearly how bad it got before it got better.

"I opened a Sith holocron. Let it talk to me for months while I shut Kanan out. I killed people with what I learned from it. Everyone was willing to look past that because the only thing I used to hurt people on our side was cruel words and...recklessness, I guess. Kanan forgave me for all that."

"But if I'd had someone pulling my strings to push me to do things they knew my family would have a really hard time forgiving me for? If Maul had come back at the right moment, or been a little better at his sad old master act? I might not have been willing to try to overcome it."

A New Home

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)