What is grief?

[wearingthestars]

WHO: Billy/Various, some OTA (will be noted)
WHERE: First Breath, Vanquish, Temba, YA house
WHAT: Sad
WHEN: Day of Return
WARNINGS: Sad



Return
(OT Vanquish [or First Breath if you want to see him worrying on the ship], Mostly meant for Jon and/or Lauri-Ell)

When the compulsion to return to the ships had come, Teddy hadn't been there. It set a knot of worry in Billy's stomach, even as he tried to reason it didn't mean he was gone. He might have gotten up early, or felt the compulsion before him, or...something. Right?

Still, that dread kept him from messaging during the trip back, mind running over the dark possibilities until they had landed and Billy went running to wait outside Vanquish. He was just worrying for nothing, right??


Storm Clouds
(OTA)

Billy was at a loss. What was a he supposed to do? He was trying very hard not to fall back into that deep depression that had claimed him after Cassie- that dark numbness that seemed to swallow him up for months.

The weather around him seemed to be reflecting that conflict, isolated clouds, dark and stormy, possibly attracted by the electricity that occasionally flickered unbidden at his fingertips.

He didn't know how to find a proper balance, to feel these emotions without losing himself to them.

The clouds rumbled overhead, rain pelting down, and Billy offered up an apologetic look as he wasn't the only one caught up in this downpour.

"Sorry-"


Hold Me
(for Tommy)

The house didn't feel the same without him. Billy tried to set aside that steadily growing weight on his chest and put away some of what he'd brought back from their trip, but he kept seeing signs of Teddy everywhere. He couldn't quite bring himself to touch any of Teddy's stuff, leaving it where it was.

He tried to sleep that night, laying on his side of the bed, switching between tears and long stretches of sleepless silence, before finally giving up and leaving their his room for Tommy's.

He peered inside hesitantly, voice a little rough from the boughts of crying.
"...Could I sleep with you?"

Comments

[wearingthestars]

Billy gives a knowing snort, "Yeah, you probably don't want that," he argues with a faint smile, "I'm super good at breaking down. I don't know if you could handle it."

[kyley_b]

"I have years of experience as an Emotional Support Ginger," he says solemnly before he grins.

"I really do, though. So the offer stands. You want me to leave you alone to, you know, be goth in the rain?"

[wearingthestars]

He laughs again, ducking his head. "Never had one of those, not sure I could afford you."

The banter helps, making him flush at the acknowledgement of the rain, glancing up with a wince.

"No, it's okay. I should probably stop being such a cliché."

[kyley_b]

"I consider it volunteer work."

Kyle waves a hand. "This is nothing. You're not even wearing makeup and writing bad poetry.

Besides, planets need rain. How else are we gonna grow anything, right? Also that's like, super impressive. I guess you can always beat up your brother since he's just fast."

[wearingthestars]

"I never really had the confidence for that," he admits. You needed a certain amount of not giving a fuck to pull that look off, and Billy's full of fucks.

He snickers, and shakes his head. "Not really. I mean- I guess? If I could catch him. Fast is nothing to sneeze at though.

[kyley_b]

"Or the lack of shame," Kyle snorts.

"Trust me, he absolutely will not let me forget that being super fast is the best thing EVER," he says with the tone of one who suffers fools on the regular. "But that's your job as a brother - you get to smack him every so often."

[wearingthestars]

"Yeah, I do that with my little bros," he offers with a fond smile. "And given Tommy has declared himself the oldest between us, he's pretty at home doing it with me." Billy not quite so much.

"We didn't really grow up together, it kind of wrecks that balance."

[kyley_b]

"Oh, you have little brothers too? Man, that's awesome. I loved having a baby brother, growing up."

Kyle nods. "Right, right, he mentioned. Because he's from fucking Jersey, and you're not. Thank god." Because Kyle has reasons to avoid New Jersey and people from New Jersey.

[wearingthestars]

"Yeah, twins. They're annoying, but...I love them," he agrees with a smile.

He snorts softly and nods, "Yeah, I'm from Manhattan. Upper West Side. It's a whole thing."

[kyley_b]

"And now you have a twin, too. That's almost creepy."

Kyle nods. "It's a good thing. I'm from Colorado, nothing cool ever happens there."

[wearingthestars]

"Heh, yeah, my uh-...'soul family'- has twins in the bloodline, so...I guess it was all meant to be."

He laughs and shrugs a shoulder, "I mean...you've got mountains and stuff, that's pretty cool?"

[kyley_b]

"That sounds like one of those happens-in-the-fun-universes things. Like you guys having superpowers."

Kyle snorts. "It's not. It's okay, I am at peace with my origins." Look at that, he managed to get the guy to laugh a little. Nothing's going to fix that hole in his heart, but it's still nice to see.

[wearingthestars]

"I mean, you sent a whale to the moon. I'm not sure you're in a completely normal boring universe either," Billy points out rightly.

[kyley_b]

"That was with science. That kind of stuff just happens, sometimes." He shrugs.

"We don't have soul families or powers or anything. So. You think you're gonna be alright tonight?"

[wearingthestars]

"...No," he answers truthfully, "But...I've got Tommy. And...I'll be okay eventually."