revivalproject | What is grief?

WHO: Billy/Various, some OTA (will be noted)
WHERE: First Breath, Vanquish, Temba, YA house
WHAT: Sad
WHEN: Day of Return
WARNINGS: Sad

Return
(OT Vanquish [or First Breath if you want to see him worrying on the ship], Mostly meant for Jon and/or Lauri-Ell)

When the compulsion to return to the ships had come, Teddy hadn't been there. It set a knot of worry in Billy's stomach, even as he tried to reason it didn't mean he was gone. He might have gotten up early, or felt the compulsion before him, or...something. Right?

Still, that dread kept him from messaging during the trip back, mind running over the dark possibilities until they had landed and Billy went running to wait outside Vanquish. He was just worrying for nothing, right??

Storm Clouds
(OTA)

Billy was at a loss. What was a he supposed to do? He was trying very hard not to fall back into that deep depression that had claimed him after Cassie- that dark numbness that seemed to swallow him up for months.

The weather around him seemed to be reflecting that conflict, isolated clouds, dark and stormy, possibly attracted by the electricity that occasionally flickered unbidden at his fingertips.

He didn't know how to find a proper balance, to feel these emotions without losing himself to them.

The clouds rumbled overhead, rain pelting down, and Billy offered up an apologetic look as he wasn't the only one caught up in this downpour.

"Sorry-"

Hold Me
(for Tommy)

The house didn't feel the same without him. Billy tried to set aside that steadily growing weight on his chest and put away some of what he'd brought back from their trip, but he kept seeing signs of Teddy everywhere. He couldn't quite bring himself to touch any of Teddy's stuff, leaving it where it was.

He tried to sleep that night, laying on his side of the bed, switching between tears and long stretches of sleepless silence, before finally giving up and leaving ~~their~~ his room for Tommy's.

He peered inside hesitantly, voice a little rough from the boughts of crying.
"...Could I sleep with you?"

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

The Archivist nods and pulls Billy close once more before leaning back enough to loom at the young man.

"We can go to the library, instead. I will make you some tea and we can sit a while."

"Yeah, that'd-...I'd like that," he agrees, looking back to the ship one last time like he still half expects Teddy to step out of it.

While he doesn't say it out loud, Jon still hopes that Teddy will simply return in a way similar to Tommy came back. And Sansa. And Din... But waking these hopes in Billy would only turn out cruel if the lost loved one doesn't come back.

And so he remains silent while wrapping one arm around Billy's shoulder and leading him out of the hangar and towards the library. He can come back to pick up his things later.

The walk to the library is spent in comfortable silence, but the moment the building comes into view, Jon frowns a little. There is quite a bit of movement in front of it. Movement that upon getting even closer eventually becomes clear to come from small feline bodies with fluttering, vibrant wings. "Oh..."

Some part of Billy is still clinging to that hope. Tommy's come and gone, but this feels...different. Something in his gut says Teddy's not coming back any time soon.

He walks with Jon, glad for the comforting weight of that arm and the comfortable silence to reflect, looking up in question at Jon's 'Oh'. He hardly knew they'd come so far, and he looks around before centering in on- "Oh..." he echoes, "What-...?"

"I- ah... I don't believe you have met the Countess yet, Billy. These... Are her litter." Jon offers with a look towards his friend before gesturing forward to where about a dozen mothkittens are playing, marching up the side of the building or trying out their wings.

Jon sighs. "...Christ. They have grown quite a bit since we left."

"The Countess...? Really?" Billy mutters with a disbelieving look, a brief teasing smile replacing that distressed look he's been carrying.

"Look at you, you're a grandpa," he teases fondly, "...They're so cute."

Jon simply shrugs at Billy's reaction to the name he has chosen for the mothcat, but that's about as much as he can do when said winged feline flutters down in front of them, feathery tail spread and bright wings fluttering cautiously as she makes sure to appear as large as possible while giving both men a critical look and prompting Jon to stop and hold his hands up slightly, showing his empty palms to the animal. "R-right. There she is. Hello, Countess."

The animal doesn't react right away, merely glancing over at Billy once more before pouncing in the air and fluttering over to the Archivist who only ducks his head and raises his arms before his face while the mothcat lands half on his head and half on his shoulders to sniff his hair, ears, face and take a testing gnaw at what she can reach of his glasses. Only after making sure it's really him does she raise her head and casts her eyes properly on Billy, one ear flicking once expectantly.

As for Jon... He has remained as still as possible with only mild noises of protest at the sniffing and overall inspection. "...Christ, I hope her kittens don't all turn out like her."

Billy belatedly tries to mirror Jon's motion, uncertainly showing his palms as he watches the animal, snickering unexpected as she lands on Jon and makes an undignified mess of him.

"Do you really?" he murmurs under his breath, caught under the gaze of the mothcat. He lifts his hands a little more to show they're empty before offering his fingers like you might with a skittish cat or dog back home to let them sniff you.

The Countess quickly proves that she is hardly skittish by taking an experimental lick at Billy's offered fingers and the next moment hopping over onto his shoulders to give him the same in-depth inspection she has bestowed upon Jon, clearly unbothered which one of them currently has her tail feathers in their face.

"I'm really hoping they return into the forest where they came from." Jon sighs around a smile and looks over to where some of the younger mothkittens have taken notice of their mother inspecting these two unfamiliar creatures. Two of them decide to dare moving closer, experimentally flapping their wings as if attempting to fly up and get a closer look themselves.

Oh- Billy's eyes widen, trying to keep still and carefully balance that new weight, an unexpected laugh escaping his lips as he's examined.

It takes him aback, loss clawing so hard to claim him, it feels almost wrong to laugh. But also so good.

"And if they don't?"

"In that case I am already certain they know how to take care of themselves. The young ones are already hunting some of the larger insects in and around the library." The Archivist explains just as the Countess gives a quick lick to Billy's nose before fluttering down to greet her kittens, trilling and grooming their heads before making her way to the rest of the lot.

Jon looks back over to Billy with a single raised brow. "I suppose we are cleared to move on."

His nose wrinkles, and he flushes a little, nodding. His heart feels a little less heavy seeing the display, and he glances up with a grateful look to Jon.

"You're going to have some first class security when they're all grown up."

Jon holds back a soft chuckle as they close the remaining distance to the library. "Once they are all grown up there will be a lot of fur and feathers to be cleaned out of the library!"

He remembers living with a single cat. These were easily two dozen felines with additional feathers. He will hope they spend at least a reasonable time outdoors.

"Gonna have to get you a fleet of roombas," Billy teases, wondering if that would be enough to keep the library clean with this many creatures roaming it.

"Possibly." Jon agrees, then frowns thoughtfully. "They would probably enjoy messing with them."

What is grief?

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