What is grief?

[wearingthestars]

WHO: Billy/Various, some OTA (will be noted)
WHERE: First Breath, Vanquish, Temba, YA house
WHAT: Sad
WHEN: Day of Return
WARNINGS: Sad



Return
(OT Vanquish [or First Breath if you want to see him worrying on the ship], Mostly meant for Jon and/or Lauri-Ell)

When the compulsion to return to the ships had come, Teddy hadn't been there. It set a knot of worry in Billy's stomach, even as he tried to reason it didn't mean he was gone. He might have gotten up early, or felt the compulsion before him, or...something. Right?

Still, that dread kept him from messaging during the trip back, mind running over the dark possibilities until they had landed and Billy went running to wait outside Vanquish. He was just worrying for nothing, right??


Storm Clouds
(OTA)

Billy was at a loss. What was a he supposed to do? He was trying very hard not to fall back into that deep depression that had claimed him after Cassie- that dark numbness that seemed to swallow him up for months.

The weather around him seemed to be reflecting that conflict, isolated clouds, dark and stormy, possibly attracted by the electricity that occasionally flickered unbidden at his fingertips.

He didn't know how to find a proper balance, to feel these emotions without losing himself to them.

The clouds rumbled overhead, rain pelting down, and Billy offered up an apologetic look as he wasn't the only one caught up in this downpour.

"Sorry-"


Hold Me
(for Tommy)

The house didn't feel the same without him. Billy tried to set aside that steadily growing weight on his chest and put away some of what he'd brought back from their trip, but he kept seeing signs of Teddy everywhere. He couldn't quite bring himself to touch any of Teddy's stuff, leaving it where it was.

He tried to sleep that night, laying on his side of the bed, switching between tears and long stretches of sleepless silence, before finally giving up and leaving their his room for Tommy's.

He peered inside hesitantly, voice a little rough from the boughts of crying.
"...Could I sleep with you?"

Comments

[thesepreciousthings]

"You don't have to smile for me," she said gently, placing a hand on his shoulder. She understood grief and its many facets: she'd felt it more times than she would have liked, with people she had cared a great deal about. "It's okay. You can be happy he's safe, but grieve that he's not with you at the same time. Life's complicated. It only makes sense that our feelings are, too..."

[wearingthestars]

Oh. The words reminded him so much of his mother, and Billy tried to choke down an overwhelming ache that threatened to flare up. He was sure that all played across his face and offered another apologetic look, shaking his head to try and dismiss her from worrying about that part of it at least.

"Heh- complicated might be selling it a bit short," he mumbled with a small smile, less forced than the first.

omg <3 ;_;

[thesepreciousthings]

"Hey, I'm working on the fly here," she said with a tiny smile to match his own.

"So. ... The way I see it, you've got a couple options. The first is, we can talk about him and you can work through it. If it's too soon for that, I can distract you by bombarding you with questions, seein' as how I'm the new gal in town. What do you think, darlin'?"

<3 <3 <3

[wearingthestars]

He was going to like her, he could tell all ready. That smile spread a little more, and the rain slowed, an unconscious reflect of that mood shift.

"Mm, maybe questions first? Before I flood this whole place and we've got to scramble to build an arc or something," he quipped back softly.

[thesepreciousthings]

She noticed the correlation before he mentioned it aloud, and then she remembered what Tommy had told her back on Coruscant - my brother's a wizard. Of course magic's real, why wouldn't it be?

"Okay, first question, then: you're Tommy's brother, aren't'cha? He mentioned he had a brother who did magic things."

[wearingthestars]

His face brightened a little at the mention of his twin, and he nodded. Side by side it's more obvious, though less so now that Tommy's older than him.

"Yeah, that's me."

[thesepreciousthings]

"I'm glad you have each other here," she said warmly. "I met him while we were on Coruscant and helped him pick out some things for the diner. He seemed pretty invested in it. Is there something you've been workin' on that means as much t' you?"

She made sure to ask it in a tone that didn't even come close to implying she meant to compare them to each other.

[wearingthestars]

It was appreciated and Billy nodded again, the rain slowing as his concentration was shifted.

"Uh, yeah...I guess. I sort of ended up working at the hospital. I was the only one for a while. Which is weird, 'cause my parents are both doctors, and I always thought there was no way I wanted to do that, but...I like helping people."