neck of the woods

[in_extremis]

WHO: Tony and his new Graq friends. Open to other absolute morons.
WHERE: Graq homeworld
WHAT: Jungle adventures! Some animal wrangling, some spelunking, more mistakes, and a date.
WHEN: Shortly after getting all of the Graq home.
WARNINGS: I cannot promise all of these alien animals are going to be treated with dignity. Edit: I don't know what either of us expected, of course it is horny. Uh, not with the animals, the animals are fine.


a. The caverns [OTA! I have no plan for this, BYO Adventure]
One of the Graq had explained on the trip over how the satellites around their planet orbited in perfect alignment to create a solar eclipse every cycle, sheering through the light reliably every morning like the moon was late to set and met the sun coming up on the horizon. They didn't explain it quite that way, of course; at first, Tony though the Graq didn't know that a solar cycle happened on any other planets and was trying to explain what night was to him, which became frustrating enough for the alien to spit a hole into the ship floor between them. So, Tony's effortless charm didn't work in Graq language. While the Graq lacked the descriptive words to convey their message to Tony, when he finally saw the phenomenon occur he paused and went, "Oh," out loud, though his erstwhile planetary guide had long since tired of him. The great shadow of the moon passed over the planet, and with it the raucous chattering of the forest around him slowed and quieted to a very queer stillness, the nocturnal animals not yet awake and the diurnal ones holding their collective breath at this early evening. It made the sound that came from inside the cave just a few feet away from where Tony stood seem loud, and close.

b. The hills [For Cayde, but you are welcome to join]
There wasn't a perfect translation into any languages that Tony knew he might share with Cayde for the giant fowl on the planet, so when the Graq tried to describe them when asked what they were eating, what Tony said to Cayde was, "Big feather," with a shrug and raised lip. They lived on steep hills, one of the Graq very intently tried to explain despite Tony definitely not asking, because they built their nests into holes they dug into them, and because of this their eggs were incredibly hard to crack without Graq spit, so do not bother. Tony did not need this warning and, again, did not ask, but now he knew and was well prepared to announce, "Big feather egg," when they came upon what looked like shards of a hollowed rock at the foot of a craggy hill. Now he was starting to sound like one of them, he was integrating to the local culture in ways he did not appreciate. The nests, as described, dotted all the way up the hill, looking like steps built into the sheerest face of it, leaving the impression of a pyramid built into this less dense part of the jungle.

'Big feather' sounded like it was going to get Tony closer to the pillow he had hoped to find for Jon than the noodles he had hoped to get for Cayde, and upon spotting one of those birds, Tony was ready to accept that this planet was not going to produce either of these gifts for him. These people didn't yet seem to have their own bread, let alone noodle, and when the Graq had said 'big' they meant enormous. More of a sword than a feather. Not pillowy down, anyway. It went stalking across the steep hill expertly, long legs fully extended and navigating the angle with sharp claws digging in to the rock to balance its fat, bobbling body, head twitching and blinking stupidly like a chicken, only approximately the size of a dinosaur.

"I don't say this often," Tony started, and it already sounded like a lie, haughty with his chin raised as he tracked the unreasonable bird, "but I am confident I am the most beautiful thing on this planet." He definitely did say that more often than he deserved to, but in this case he had sound logic. Graq were ugly, these birds were ugly, based on this sample this whole planet's evolution tended toward squashy and wrong-sized. "Present company an ongoing consideration," he was willing to allow.

c. The water [For Jon, but you are still welcome]
This was an ideal environment for plenty of very ugly bugs and grubs. Frogs, generously. Insects, in general, were not hugely upsetting for Tony, with the distinct exception of anything cockroach-like, but he did prefer a more sterile, modern, less bug-centric experience, if it were up to him, and he was realizing that he had made the wrong choice. He could have been on a spaceship right now, in space, on a ship. With the exception of the unique mineral compound of the malleable stones, there wasn't much to Tony's taste on this primitive planet.

The locals, obviously, being local and made for this environment, loved it, and appreciated being returned safely despite the awkward introductions. With a few of their rescuers on the planet with them, the Graq decided it was an ideal time to celebrate the reunion of their families, and these strange, hairless bipeds that had made that happen for them. "They want us to join them at sunset," he had translated to the camp of He-Rows, "by the waterfall, they say is over there. Follow the river, can't miss it, it's water, it's not confusing. I don't think they're going to eat us, but don't quote me on that."

Bugs on any planet, it was a universal truth, got worse the closer it was to dusk. Tony crouched by the river as the sun went down, trying to remain curious about what this planet had to offer as he felt the waxy leaf of a vibrant lilypad in a cluster that didn't seem bothered by the meandering water, only to be smacked in the face by what he would assume to be a moth on Earth, and what he didn't want to think too hard about here. "This is a nightmare," he grumbled, wiping at his cheek to make sure it hadn't left anything behind, then glanced up at the distant sound of drumming music from the direction of what must have been this waterfall site. Fashionably late, as ever.

Comments

THAR BE BIRDS IN THEM THAR HILLS

[deal_me_in]

Cayde was getting a kick out of Tony's acting as translator. Oh, it was incredibly useful, having someone able to discern anything from those grunts and gutteral sounds, but sometimes it was very difficult keeping from snickering. That the string of noises amounted to not more than a few words most of the time made for very anticlimactic explanations, and along with Tony's delivery ensured a laugh from the Exo almost every time.

In any case, they found themselves scaling some rocky hillside for giant birds. Unfortunately Cayde didn't get the memo about the eggs being nigh impossible to crack without being able to soften the shells with something super-acidic, already thinking of the usefulness of having some sort of sustainable food source back at the figurative farm. No one seemed very intent on eating glownies, anyway, and the squirrel thingies he'd trapped out in the nearby woods only had so much meat on them.

When they finally caught sight of the creatures, he realized he had been vastly underestimating the size of these 'big feathers.' Not that this seemed to discourage him in the least.

Tony started to speak, and already Cayde began to smirk even before the man had finished his sentence. He gave a mock gasp at the addendum. "Ongoing consideration," he snorted, giving a toss of his horned head, followed by a light nudge of the man's shoulder. Grinning, the Exo looked back at the oversized bird. "She ain't that bad looking though. I'm assuming it's a she, anyway. Guess you can't say for sure with alien birds. So... don't suppose your Graq-friends gave any suggestions for how to corral one..."

He sounded like he was already concocting his own ideas even as they continued to watch from around a rocky outcropping. "Maybe try to surround her? One of us come from the front and the other circle 'round from behind?"

The water side with all of the bugs...

[beholding_archivist]

Visiting an alien planet may have sounded great at first, but if Tony has regrets regarding the decision, he can rest assured that Jon isn't doing much better. At all. He has never been one for the great outdoors, and this entire planet seems to be made of little else. He has seen spiders the size of his head, the sight of which has left him paralyzed for nearly half an hour and the worms don't make it any better.

Another not too great thing has been that some of the Graq seem to remember him. And while he has made efforts to apologize, he still get met with low growls by one or another member of this lot. At least they don't outright spit at him...? Needless to say this little break has proven itself to be a bit of a test for Jon's nerves up to the point where he finds himself actually missing the vastness of space.

"I'm sorry I talked you into coming here." Jon responds ruefully as he steps up to Tony. He has reluctantly decided to give those celebrations a look at least, but navigating this seemingly ever present forest has proven... Difficult. Especially with the night setting in. And yet by no means will he simply admit that he has gotten lost.

[in_extremis]

Cayde should have been discouraged; he shouldn't have been encouraged in the first place. Surely, there were edible birds already on Agra 10, and of a reasonable size to herd or whatever the term was for bird-keeping. That he didn't seem to have a problem with the sheer size of this one made Tony wrinkle his nose, raising a loose hand toward the animal with his palm up in a question, what the fuck?, because Tony was willing to go along with the research expedition up until it involved capturing a live specimen. At this point, he was going to need more convincing.

"I haven't done much bird catching myself," he admitted, "but I'd be willing to bet that the wrestling technique is on the inadvisable, do not attempt list." Tony wasn't sure even the locals bothered to actually tame and raise them, their giant bird meat was all wild, humane and sustainable. He thought he would have noticed a chicken coop that size, anyway. "A baby one would be easier to catch," he shouldn't have even said out loud just because it popped into his head, this was not the time to be helping Cayde with ideas. "That could be a baby one, though, what do I know?"

[in_extremis]

They weren't lost, they were exploring their options. Besides, they had plenty of helpful indicators for the correct direction to go, if they were willing to brave staying near the lively banks of the river, and, further, if they were lost and it got total nighttime dark out here in the woods, Tony was sure he would start to panic in increasingly embarrassing ways, so they were going to find their way. As though he hadn't just complained about the situation, Tony insisted, "No, I mean, it's great," trying to keep the energy from bottoming out between them, and Jon from feeling to responsible for the environment, "There's so much, um...life...here." He stepped carefully away from an encroaching whining sound of something annoying and flying, heading up the river toward the drumming. "Come on, it's like we're camping, we're going to crash some kids' bonfire. I bet they have some good weed."

[deal_me_in]

"Baby, good idea- keep an eye out for eggs," the Exo said, distracted as he scanned for the best path around. Apparently he wasn't catching onto the suggestion that this hadn't been part of the original itinerary. "I'm not gonna wrestle anything- just going to pop around and say hi. Make a bird friend."

Cayde glanced over at Tony with a lopsided smile. "You covering her six? I'll head around this way." He gestured loosely to convey his simple plan of attack and then began to turn to start picking his way around the rocky terrain.

[beholding_archivist]

"Tony, those are the Graq, not some random teenagers." Jon points out with a little frown. To think that these primitive beings are the most civilization they can expect on this planet is almost daunting.

He doesn't quite follow Tony right away, but stops at the edge of the river and allows himself a moment to just take in the scenery. He doesn't know any of the plants or insects despite how similar several of them look to species known on Earth. Obviously no flower on Earth actively hunts living fish as is the case with the nearly glowing one on the other side of the river. It looks harmless at first, but every once in a while one of its leaves would dart into the water and impale a small fish. Though that flower isn't the only thing Jon observes as he loosely wraps his arms around himself and squints a little while inclining his head.

"...I suppose it's... Beautiful. In its own way. Can't say I expected to be this unused to be surrounded by hardly anything but wilderness."

[in_extremis]

"Thanks, baby, I'm full of them," Tony replied, but was pursing his lips like he was irritated as much with himself for joking around instead of arguing Cayde out of the inevitable disaster. Bird friend, honestly, by spooking and chasing it. "And luring it, a lure would be easier," Tony added to the advice he already didn't mean to be giving. It wasn't that he had to prove he was clever, it's just that he was clever and everyone deserved to know it, even if Cayde was already off to do the less clever plan. Put upon, and hands in his pockets like he was prepared to put the least amount of effort into this venture until Cayde gave up on it, Tony rolled his eyes and wandered in the indicated direction to flank the dinosaur, trying to look cool and nonchalant ineffectively as he slid in loose pebbles. The sound made the bird's head twitch, turning its ear Tony's way, otherwise frozen in watchful fear.

[in_extremis]

"Not much difference," Tony argued about the Graq, spitting and smelling and being generally unpleasant all integral teen elements to him, but was willing to concede, "Does mean they're more willing to share, we're all friends here now, that's what friends do. Besides, they must have a few ways of keeping the bugs off." How friendly any of the locals seemed to be toward Jon was debatable, but Tony hadn't entirely put them off yet, he was willing to broker peace. Did the Graq even have a word for that? Tony was a few feet up the river before he turned to peer through the settling shadows for Jon.

"Yeah, you really look like you're taking to it," he called back to try to prompt Jon to follow before one of those plants swept in for an easy kill. "I can leave you to it, if you want. I'm thinking I prefer the abandoned city myself, though. Creepy, will probably fall through a floor some day and die slowly, but I can at least pretend I'm bleeding out in a Starbucks, like I always wanted to." Tony might have continued to explain what else he pretended he enjoyed in Temba if he didn't cut off with a groan; a slippery eel crawled on tiny, scuttling legs out of the river and across his foot carelessly, no regard for Tony as a potential threat.

[deal_me_in]

Obviously this whole endeavor was playing out a lot differently in Cayde's head. He'd either classified breaking in glownies completely different or had for the moment conveniently forgotten about Tony's past track record with creatures as he stealthily crossed the rocky, non-existent footpaths. He was a Hunter; sneaking around was his specialty.

Tony...was not so much for all the noise he was making. Cayde paused and facepalmed as he got into position, looking towards the giant bird-thing. Belatedly it crossed his mind that perhaps this wasn't the best way to go about...well, anything. And naturally the Exo shrugged it off and resumed his plan of action. He didn't want to spoke the creature, not any more than it already was. Slowly starting to step out of his cover, he began to make a clicking sort of sound to get its attention, the sort of noise one usually made when trying to coax animals and small children because it was like something hardwired into people.

[beholding_archivist]

Jon for his part can't say the bugs are giving him much issue aside from reminding him of some unpleasant encounters connected to his work. Maybe he simply doesn't appeal to their taste, but it's not something he is set on conducting any actual research on. The look he directs at Tony is decorated with a little snarl and he pulls himself away from the river to catch up with Tony, his eyes drifting down to the creature that caused the man to produce that peculiar noise. Right. The abandoned city certainly is preferable to this jungle. Does this count as a jungle? It probably does.

"An abandoned city at least means that at some point there has been civilization." Jon offers, letting the eel be and giving Tony a short nudge to his arm and nodding towards the direction of the drums. "If they start singing, you an sing along. They seem to like you."

[in_extremis]

Sneaky was the opposite of Tony's specialty, he was usually on the team to make loud noises and bright lights. Make a scene, at least. The scene he made for Big Feather was a minor one. It caught sight of him just as he came sliding out from behind a scrubby bush, and lifted one leg like it was preparing to run but didn't really know what to make of this furless creature, only to hear Cayde's clicking behind it and burst into an action that looked very much like trying to go in two directions at once to avoid both of them. Tony went, "Hey!," too loudly, hands finally out and up to deter it when it seemed like it was leaning more in his direction, not interested in the party it was bringing, making it back up in a rapid stumble toward Cayde instead.

[in_extremis]

"Exactly," Tony agreed about the city. "Some advancements had been made, it's all very comforting, the crumbling remains of a culture's hopes and dreams." There might have been insects all over Temba, too, but they hadn't always reigned there, at least for a time. Here, Tony and Jon were decidedly on their turf. The Graq hadn't advanced much beyond them yet.

Granted, Tony didn't think that eel had any musical culture of note. "Not my area," he pointed out, taking Jon's hand as much to turn that suggestion back over as to keep him from wandering into something's mouth before they reached the party. "You'll have to earn their trust back that way. I'm trying to imagine it and, listen, already hate it, as a concept, can't get behind Graq singing. Very nasal, uh, very hard on the throat."

The river opened up as promised to a sprawling, what must have been deep lake, because the surface looked still in the last red light of the sunset despite the waterfall Tony could see splashing down a long embankment, wide and glasslike until it impacted the water below in a misty fog. The gathering couldn't have been far off, but the drumming lead them deeper into the forest, away from the burble of the water.

[deal_me_in]

And this was why Cayde didn't really adhere to the whole...planning...thing. You couldn't possibly plan out every angle. It was better to go with knowing who you were working with or against, and then just going with it.

As the large bird gave a start once it had spotted him, Cayde raised his hands, not that it ever really seemed to work to placate anything, and a poor shield one's hands did make when you found yourself being assaulted or what-have-you.

Having no actual idea what Tony was intending to do, yelling and flapping his own hands about as he was, the Exo however paused as he saw the resulting. Well, with the bird freaked out as it was, there'd be no real chance to try coaxing it any. He glanced past the creature towards Tony, catching the man's eye before looking back at the quickly approaching bird, and then with a shrug, he made his leap for the thing, arms thrown outwards like he was about to tackle the thing with a hug.

[in_extremis]

Was that supposed to be a signal? Was Tony supposed to interpret from that look that anyone in their right mind was about to leap on this giant alien bird? Tony had opened his mouth like there was any chance to ask for clarification here, only to be forced to accept that nothing that was happening here was going to be done with clarity and it was time to act. As Cayde dove for his tackle, Tony rushed into the fray hoping that was what Cayde meant by the look, to cut off the bird's escape. This had the effect of it whipping its giant beak back Tony's way, so with the same optimistic impulse, he grabbed the back of his shirt to haul off over his head to catch the peck the bird lashed out with, with his arms still tangled in the sleeves. Now Tony had its head, at least. And he made a strangled sound of regret as it jerked to try to free itself in now blinded panic, hauling Tony up off of his feet.

A;

[sinistral]

One of the habits the Soldier had picked up in the Drift Fleet was taking the time he could to explore the various planets on which they stopped; it made for a welcome break from ship life, though he understands that life here is more planet-based with occasional ship excursions rather than the other way around. Still he welcomes to chance to stretch his legs and see what he can see — and yes, to challenge himself against the terrain. Running, jumping, climbing: he turns it all into a test of his own abilities, keeping his skills sharp and totally not avoiding the other people whom the Agrii have kidnapped.

Shut it, you. Yeah, you, the one in the back. I see you laughing.

Anyway he's just making his way through one of the caves, heading toward the surface when the moon's shadow casts the cave mouth into darkness. It sees the Soldier immediately dropping into a cautious stance, creeping toward the entrance with one hand hovering near the knife sheath at his hip. A few more steps reveals the atmospheric phenomenon and a step after that reveals the man standing not too far away. The Soldier straightens slightly and makes his steps deliberately louder, the scrape of a boot over rock, the rasp of a metal hand against the cave wall. That should surely be enough to announce his presence, right?

[deal_me_in]

They had a signal? That would have been news to Cayde. If he'd thought this was going to be a more complicated operation he would have considered it, but he was currently just living in the moment.

"Yea- uh-oh," the Exo quickly amended as he saw Tony get dragged about with the bird's wild flailing. He did his best to clamber further up onto the creature's back, an arm curling around its neck while he tried to grab at Tony with his other hand. Even then he had no idea what he was trying to do here, except keep his pal from getting thrown around. If they were going to get thrown off- they'd be getting thrown off like a proper rodeo! ...that last bit was not at all something he thought very seriously about. He rather hoped they wouldn't get flung off at all.

THAT'S NOT ANY LESS SPOOKY

[in_extremis]

The warnings that the Graq had about the caves sounded like Tony was supposed to be worried about big, natural predators, not supernatural haunts, but that whine of metal sounded so out of place on this planet, its echo in the cave making Tony's hair stand on end. His first instinct was to stand very still, turning his head as slowly as possible toward to sound with wide eyes, then take several embarrassingly prancing steps blindly away from the mouth of the cave when he spotted the shadow moving within it. Big, big animal his brain decided in the low light, then greeted it with a sharp, surprised, "Hup--!?," as his hurried retreat sent Tony tripping, then falling out of sight. The sound of his impact had the same echoing quality of the caverns shortly thereafter, followed by a groan that sounded pained but was mostly from the shock of the abrupt fall into the network of caves through a hole partially hidden in the undergrowth. Leaves and dirt followed to shower down onto his head, making Tony squint cautiously through one eye up at the circle of faint, eclipsed light about him.

[in_extremis]

Sightless and terrified, the bird scrambled for release from this surprise attack at both ends only briefly, then bolted in the direction it was pointed after its blind lashing. Up the hill they went, the bird's big wings flapping erratically to try to knock the thing off of its back, head rearing up and shaking to get the thing off of its face. Mostly carried and kicking wildly, occasionally stumbling ineffectually on his dragged toes, with every bob of the bird's head, Tony went, "Cayde? Cayde. Cayde?!," about as trapped in this shirt as he had the bird as the flailing had wound it tighter, like an awful Chinese finger trap. There must have been something they could have done to avoid this situation.

[deal_me_in]

There might have been. Like...not go bird hunting at all. Perhaps they chose poorly.

"I heard you the first time!" the Exo shouted, his attempts to grab a hold of Tony having thus far failed, especially with the bird suddenly breaking into a run and thus forcing him to hang on to the thing with both his arms.

This...was definitely not working. "Easy girl, easy!" he attempted, sneaking in a pat when he felt he could let an arm loosen. It wasn't a tactic he tried for long, quickly abandoning it in favor of trying to catch Tony's leg or hook a belt-loop once he saw the chance. "Maybe we shoulda brought some rope!"

[in_extremis]

"You think?!" If Tony knew they were really intent on bird-catching, his instinct would have been a net, perhaps a trap to lay if they had the time instead of being this directly engaged with the catch, and the preparation would, to be fair, have had a much smaller animal in mind to account for. Without a recognizable system of measurement or standard to compare to, the Graq in no way had prepared Tony properly for this dinosaur. Down the hill and up a tree, well out of sight, one watched the trio kick up dust and send stones sliding down into the brush, curious and horrified, and would go out of his way to warn any future visitors to his planet not to engage the big feathers. None of the Graq had ever had to be told not to try to hug them, so it hadn't come up. Aliens were not bright.

Meanwhile, Tony finally understood something Cayde was doing, and kicked a leg up enough to hook over Cayde's arm, pulling his weight up closer to the bird's body. This was supposed to stop his being thrown around, but it mostly threw the bird's balance off with both men wrapped mostly around it's neck, and it tipped forward with a muffled squawk is its feet slid out from under it. It hit the ground hard chest first, dropping Tony onto his shoulder, and they all slid a few feet back down the hill as the bird continued to flap and kick, trying to right itself with the shirt still tangled around its face.

[beholding_archivist]

Giving no objection to having his hand taken, Jon lets Tony lead the way, accepting the reassurance of the familiar hold around his hand. Though he does give an exaggerated frown at the suggestion "I may be able to understand them, but I can't speak their language. And I'm not risking having them spitting at me again, Tony. You know a few of them are perfectly ready to do so." Quite likely the ones whose minds he has turned around. Jon may not remember the full extent of his hallucinations, but by now Jon is at least somewhat aware of the effect the Graq's spit has on them.

"Is this the right place?" He asks once they reach the waterfall, but find themselves presented with a distinct absence of any of the Graq. And yet this scene even Jon feels inclined to consider beautiful. Mainly because the lake and the waterfall and the large rocks around it made up most of it rather than plain forest and wilderness.

[deal_me_in]

"I didn't know you were gonna try grabbing it by the face!!" Cayde protested, even as he finally managed to grab a hold of Tony's leg to hoist him into a more secure position than where he'd been previously dangling. "-oops," he noted belatedly as he felt the bird shift beneath them.

They all fell, and Cayde was nearly thrown over the thing's head in its rough landing. The moment he tried to sit up, he found himself with a face full of feathers as the bird began to flap about. "Ack!" Batting wings away, he tumbled off the creature as it began to try shoving itself back onto its feet.

[in_extremis]

It took Tony a beat to respond, staring across the lake with some surprise at the tranquility of its whole effect, then he insisted, "Music transcends language," with a fist raised to punctuate this wisdom, like he hadn't even heard Jon's concerns about the whole spitting thing. So Jon had made a terrible first impression, that was part of his charm. Besides, maybe it didn't even matter and they weren't going to make the party at all. To Jon's question, Tony went, "Could be," with a devious grin and sidelong look Jon's way, dropping his hand to sneak his fingers up Jon's side like the creeping tentacles of his fishy friends. "You want to take a dip?" With Jon's track record, they had better chances surviving with the Graq that already didn't like him much, than the mysteries under the surface of an alien lake. Tony turned to listen, sure he could hear voices now as well as the drums. They couldn't be far off.

[in_extremis]

This was Cayde's plan, as it was, and Tony was not going to be left wrestling the enormous bird on his own, watching Cayde roll away with betrayed shock for an all too brief moment before he had to focus on the wiggling animal again. Tony couldn't back away from this disaster they had caused as easily, having to brace his foot on the thing's neck to try to get some control over the rolling head and untangle his clothes from its face before they were bursting away from each other happily. The bird slid further down the hill, still flapping to express its trauma, while Tony dug his heels into the rocks to scramble further up and away from it until his was lodged in one of the nest holes, hugging his stretched shirt to his chest with his wrists still trapped. They both came to a rest, the bird panting and mostly bewildered by what just happened to it, with no frame of reference in all of its imprinted ancestry for how to cope with this encounter. For a moment, Tony understood it deeply.

[deal_me_in]

The Exo was a little confused once he'd gotten his bearings again and found no bird, and more importantly, no Tony. -oh wait, there they were.

Quickly getting to his feet, he half-dashed, half-skidded down to where they'd gone, and by then all the fight was out of the bird-beast. "Nice, you managed to tire it out," he said as he caught up to Tony. As though this had been the plan all along.

Cayde gave him a pat on the shoulder, pausing to consider the man's bracing point before he carefully stepped closer to the bird to work out whole shirt problem. "Soooo how attached to this shirt are you," he asked, gently setting a hand on where he figured the bird's head to be, trying to work out just how to disentangle the two. "Not...like...literally," he felt he should clarify, his other hand resting on the hilt of his knife.