revivalproject | Whoever said money can't buy happiness simply didn't know where to shop

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Whoever said money can't buy happiness simply didn't know where to shop

Who: Jan Van Dyne, Tony, OTA
What: Shopping, and Petting Zoo
Where: Event Planet
When: Any time during Event
Warnings: TBD

I Need Your Eyes- OTA

Jan didn't have a shopping partner today, and as much as she could enjoy shopping as a solo venture, right this minute she really needed another pair of eyes. (And hands. All these bags were getting to be a bit much to carry.)

But ah- a fellow kidnapee! Jan waved them over instantly and once they were close enough she spun around so they could get a full picture of the swim suit she was trying on.

"What do you think? Is it hitting right? They have it black too, but I was thinking a pop of colour might go better with the sand back home."

Other Worldly Petting Zoo (for Tony)

Excluding (or sometimes including) Jenn and Patsy, Tony was one of Jan's favourite shopping partners. They got each other, and it was fun for both of them, not a chore to be dragged along to like it was with Scott. She could listen him drone on and on about ants, but he couldn't sit still for five minutes of her discussing why these new shoes were entirely different from the rest of her collection. (AND an investment piece!)

So she was all ready quite pumped up from their afternoon of site seeing and shopping when she spotted something unexpected. Was that...some kind of zoo?? Maybe it was more of a petting zoo than a real zoo, but either way, Jan barely had to say a word, grabbing Tony by the wrist and eagerly dragging them to pay the entry fee.

"Maybe they'll have an other world version of a pony ride," she teased excitedly, as though she wouldn't eagerly pay to have either one of them perched on top of some strange creature and get some tacky photo as a memento.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

It still felt like Tony had to explain himself, like the monogamy had to be rationalized, except he was far more ready to defend, "My cheese is great! It's cheese, it's bread, and most importantly, it's fast!" He was a busy guy who needed a rapid carbo load, and most everything else he made tasted a little burnt, so it was actually the perfect food, thank you. Not only that, Jan continued to wound him, earning her a wide-eyed look of betrayal for this ongoing assault as he crouched to try to seem less intimidating to these bunched up animals. One of them eyed his offered hand cautiously as he said, "I don't get taken in, I'm--I know the risks, I just--People deserve the chance. Wanda and Clint were some of the best of us."

"Arguably too fast," Jan said with a loving smile, and she laughed, that wide eyed look doing its job and making her feel very guilty.

And as if to punctuate the risks, the offered hand got a nip, though it didn't seem to be purposeful, the creature just overly excited about the promise of food.

"Still are," Jan conceded, "...you always do believe the best in people."

The nip made Tony's shoulder's jump in surprise, and a dread settle in his stomach at what kind of parasites might be in these creature's mouths, but his instinct was still to present the other hand as a distraction and hope that it would be better received. It gave him something to focus on while he bit his tongue at the confirmation that Jan, too, was from a better Earth than the one Tony had screwed up, and he only had a moment to dwell on that lonely guilt before the herd decided to show that they had been assured that they were not dealing with predators and swarmed around Tony and Jan, encircling them into their pod.

"Okay--then--," he struggled to realign, back to the concern that Jan had started with. "So, does that mean my judgment is flawed? When you go home, do you think he should be less forgiving, and tell you to buzz off if you tell him you've been getting your honey elsewhere?"

"You're having fun with the bee puns, aren't you Darling?" she teased, petting the luxuriously soft fur with a long sigh. How hard might it be to smuggle a few of these out of here? Or purchase them ideally...

"...We're serious. I don't do serious as often as you. I want to do it right." She loved the guy.

Taking one of these home was the opposite of what Tony was seriously considering as he gingerly petted the snout of one that snuffled its way into his hand. He was becoming increasingly worried about how they were going to extract themselves from this herd, and gently pushing as he slowly stretched back onto his feet did not deter this animal from weaving closer to his leg, which he could only hold in midair as he lifted it to try to step over them, looking for a place where none of them would be underfoot.

"You've been married the whole time I've known you," Tony said, and though it did always sound like an argument, his intention wasn't to talk Jan out of her own perception of her seriousness. Just that he didn't exactly have the context that she thought, and had to add, "I've never managed to get that far." Then again, it wasn't the most stable marriage, which Tony acknowledged with a twist of his mouth and tip of his head. "Maybe we fill in each other's gaps," he had to admit. "And when we're done doing that, compliment each other. And when we're done doing that..." He was trying to make a point. "Maybe it's Jon you should be talking to," he redirected. "I'm kind of a biased source on what it's like dating me, he's always very honest. And has someone else, back home."

She watched him fondly, doing nothing to help at first, but eventually taking pity and throwing a sprinkling of feed on the ground to lure away any lingering interest.

"That's only ONE serious relationship to your...multiple love affairs," she counters with a laugh. Hank and Jan had passion, but usually in the wrong areas all together. Never anything quite like the devotion she saw Tony give to his partners. He gave more of himself than maybe Jan had ever been prepared to before.

She shared a grin at his teasing, but he was probably right about the way they complimented each other.

"It feels a little weird," she admitted, not usually one to shy away from social interactions of any kinds but... well- she felt a bit like the other woman. Only with none of the fun benefits and all of the weird guilt. "What if he doesn't like me?"

The daring escape from the swarming sheep-things did distract Tony momentarily from Jan's major revelation. As they rushed for their snacks, he stepped away quickly and retreated to the relative safety of a small barn-like structure that turned out to be lined with low-fenced pens. By then, he had to insist, "He'll like you. Who doesn't like you? Just give him that smile, and let him know that you're full of juicy gossip, he'll be hooked. You have gossip, right?"

In the nearest of the pens, a single bipedal creature waddled up toward them, lifting its nose curiously as Tony braced a foot on the lower rung to lean in and return the examination. They peered at each other intensely, and Tony felt sure that if he had seen this thing with its wizened eyes out in the halls of the spaceport, he would have assumed it was a respected academic. Until it squawked in his face. Blinking and shaken out of his contemplation, he challenged, "You haven't had any other relationships?" That didn't sound right.

"I have all the gossip," she agreed, scritching the strange creatures farewell before moving after him. Still, she looked doubtful. She still hadn't met the guy. And she couldn't be as catty as she might normally be with someone Tony was so head over heels with.

She laughed as the long stare off ended with the thing screeching right in Tony's face. "Plenty. Just...not so serious. There was Hank. And then there was some fun- and then-"... You.

To Tony, that sounded like a fairly sad trajectory, especially for someone who could be dating anyone she wanted. He had to hope that Tony she knew was doing better by her than he was doing for Jon, for her to even be concerned about this, because he had to acknowledge, "Listen, don't--we started seeing each other while you were still married. I have to assume he knows exactly what he's signed up for, he's all in, every part. Maybe you're doing more harm than good, thinking you should change that." His mouth twisted to the side, then he grimaced, apologetic and slightly unsure if he even believed that. He knew he wouldn't hesitate to forgive her, he had with Rumiko. He hadn't had to live with it with Rumiko.

"Sweetheart,-and trust me, I say this with love- you are far too forgiving. I could ruin you and you'd thank me for it." But of course that only extended to hurting him. Once that hurt spread to others, then Tony would play the hero, but he'd let god only knew what slip when it came to hurting him. She rocked up to press a kiss to his jaw and give him a squeeze.

"He's a good guy. One of my favourite people. So you better take good care of him."

As happy as Tony was to lean into that kiss and agree to anything she said then, he had to then stiffen with caution and warn, "Careful, now I'm thinking about getting ruined." See, it wasn't all altruistic, that other Tony probably found it as hot as this one's guilty roll of his eyes and sly smirk. Mostly, he didn't want her to see him squirming under the affection, so she was going to have to either deal with that arousal or, abruptly, "Why don't I get to hear the gossip?"

Of course he was. She laughed and patted him on the chest, pushing away to climb right on into this newest pen and explore for herself.

"Because the ex and the new girlfriend share that. It's a sacred rite," she said, crossing her arms to emphasis just how totally serious it was. "You can't take that from me."

There was no way Tony was following her in there, that animal did not sound impressed by him, so he watched it dubiously from his post at the fence while it considered Jan with its watery, wrinkled eyes. He pouted to insist, "Then we can't leave here until you also have a new girlfriend, we're going in circles," and twirled a finger impatiently. "Someone you don't mind me telling about that guy who had an allergic reaction to you. Someone who can keep secrets. We're back to Steve."

It seemed to like Jan well enough, letting her pet it and eating from her palm. Maybe it was the pheromones.

"You think this Steve'd actually give me a shot?" she laughed, knowing she'd spared no shortage of flirting with the Captain over the years and never gotten so much as a wink in return, let alone a date.

There was only one situation where Tony could imagine turning either of them down, and he was living it, watching Jan with aching affection from a distance of reasonably satisfied romantic bliss, couldn't ask for anything more. So it was only Steve's constellation of quirky hangups that had to be navigated, and one of them had been firmly solved by his reality. The other...Tony took his time considering the animal, and risked reaching over the fence for it since it really did seem very docile in Jan's hands, only for it to alert the next star system with another outburst. Tony snatched his hand back, and wasn't so worried about who's secrets he was keeping in his distraction as he admitted, "You're both in a similar situation, you know, it'd be good for you to have each other while you're hung up on somebody unattainable."

"We are?"

Gossip? Well Tony had 100% of Jan's attention if he hadn't had it before. "Wait how similar?" she asked, tapping the creature lightly to admonish the ear splitting noise. It tried to shepherd Jan further from Tony for her efforts.

See, even the weird, little alien wanted to woo her. Its determined waddling made Tony snort as he braced himself on the fence again, pushing his shoulders up around his ears as he considered how much he could reasonably say, and how much he regretted already saying after catching that electric interest in Jan's eye. "It's not that he has someone back on Earth, or anything. He's made that clear. I'm not encouraging you to be a homewrecker," he promised, since she seemed to be worried about the morality of those connections.

She did enjoy being woo'd. It was a bit of a let down that the demographics of He-Rows in this place tended to skew not interested in women. She would have at least enjoyed more flirting. But she had Tony for that. He could always be counted on for a casual mutual flirt. Thank god.

"How has no one scooped that man up? Is he from a world where everyone is blind??"

Even the Steve back home, who had a respectable dating history, didn't seem to understand how profoundly desirable he was, and the problem had only been compounded in this one. Tony had to raise a hand in surrender to an equation he could not solve, explaining, "He might, and I'm serious, actually be a virgin. Every one of his girlfriends that I mention, absolutely no recognition, completely different experience, it's like he's never met a woman in his life."

"..." Jan seemed to fully forget where she was, eyes wide and pellets dropping to the ground as she darted back to Tony. This was some HOT gossip.

"Like actually actually?" She asked, a critical eye trying to gage how serious he was. "How is that even possible? Mm- That's a lot of pressure, I haven't been someone's first in a while..."

Tony had to hedge a little, hands up innocently for the possibility that he was wrong, with a shrug because, well, maaaybe...He couldn't be sure. It did seem unlikely. It had seemed unlikely that Steve would show any interest in men, too, before Tony got here. Now, it felt so obvious. "You know, he gets tunnel vision, he's sure this one thing is right, so there aren't other options," Tony suggested. "He figured out his right...thing a long time ago. He needs help to adapt a little." That was making his chest hurt, or maybe that was his fingers digging in to his heart where he hadn't realized he had been pressing, so Tony was happy to continue quickly, "Did you ever like that, a virginity thing? It's exhausting. At least you know he doesn't have any bad habits, but I'm not sure it's worth it. Someone with experience, you know, who knows how much pressure a windpipe can take..." Alright, maybe that was too many words, enough.

Right, man out of time. Sometimes it was easy to forget that poor Steve had lost almost everyone and everything. In a lot of ways he'd adapted so well he seemed...fine. But thinking about it- of course it would still be hard.

"What, like being someone's first, or my first? I dunno. It's got it's charm, but experience is definitely an asset, I've learned enough to know that," she agreed, before snickering at that very intimate detail. "And how much is that?" she prompted with faux innocence.

Tony narrowed his eyes skeptically at that innocence, then slid an arm close enough to give a subtle tug to the front of her shirt, just enough to leave the lace of her bra peaking along the collar. Enough to be dangerous. "The innocence thing, you know--I know it's not your first. That was a century ago, the archaeologists are still identifying the bodies," Tony teased, though his brow did furrow with a new curiosity, because that wasn't something he'd ever asked about. He had kind of assumed it was a wedding night thing, a true love story, but that was before she showed up here to tell him it had been more of a thriller.

She delivered a playful smack, but didn't actually deny the accusation. She'd always been comfortable with her sexuality, even when Hank didn't approve of her flirting with others.

"Right along side yours," she agreed, though it was never quite the same scandal for a boy to lose his. "It wasn't really the big deal everyone chalked it up to be, was it?"

"Are you kidding me?" Tony asked, wide eyed with a hand to his chest like he was in shock. "My first time got a gal sent to the other side of the planet, I moved condos specifically so I could have more sex, I've been trying to complete that perfect equation ever since, there's still a stain in that limo. My first time fundamentally altered the course of history." Maybe he didn't know how to do anything in moderation, though.

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