video | open

[threesecrets]

[This post probably comes after a very tense reunion, but the surly mood isn't actually from the fallout.]

I guess I'm back now, since that's a fucking thing that happens here. I thought more time would have passed here, but apparently I didn't even miss Christmas. The Agrii strike me as more into Mummers than Caroling, though.

[You're forgiven if you don't place him at first. His hair is buzzed close to his skull, and all that softness has been hollowed out. Everything about him is a warning, like bright stripes on a snake. He wears a worn-in leather jacket, with a fleur-de-lis or maybe just talons crawling up against his neck above his collar. He has more muscle on him now than he did before, a couple inches in height though that's hard to tell by video. The blue eyes are the only thing that's the same, but they sit differently in his face-- sharp and cold, piercing like a winter storm.

There is a juvenile raven that is not appearing in this video, as Ronan doesn't want her to hear his bad language. But Chainsaw is bright-eyed and inquisitive, and doesn't seem to approve of her exclusion. Namely, she's resorted to crying kerah in her rather un-melodic raven's voice, rather like a child demanding their parents' attention.]

But, whatever. I am going to deal with this bullshit by choosing to go get shitfaced. As they say: optimum est pati quod emendare non possis.

[Which means "it is best to endure what you can't change", for everyone with helpful translations to Ronan's intentionally opaque Latin quotations.]

And if any of you assholes want to join me-- Well, invitation's open, but no nerds allowed. Maybe we can set shit on fire and call it a party.

[He grins before ending the feed, but it's a flash of teeth and it feels almost more like a threat -- but then everything about Ronan seems like that now. He can indeed be found at the bar, or around Temba with either a dreamt bottle of whiskey or just bad ideas, depending on when you catch him.]

Comments

[burnyoudown]

[He was a little worried that Ronan would pull away, that this was too much for him right now when he was conflicted, but he was pleased that the other boy followed him into the bedroom. He was even pleased with Ronan's competitive stripping.

Kavinsky grinned, slow and amused, before pulling off his own shirt and dropping it to the side. He nudged his shoes off without breaking eye contact. His face might have been sore, he might have been on the way to developing a black eye, but this day had turned itself around and was shaping up to be something special. Maybe. He could hope, at least.]

Before, when you were all sweet and soft?

[He leaned in, not quite close enough to kiss but close enough to tease Ronan with the idea of it.]

I wanted this then, too.

[He'd almost always wanted Ronan, for months and months. He'd appealed to Kavinsky even before his secret had been revealed. If K was a religious type, he would worship at Ronan's feet, sing his praises. But he wasn't religious, nor was he the kind of person to put himself in any kind of position to give up power. Maybe...maybe if he reached a point of mutual trust with Ronan, a point where he didn't feel vulnerable at the mere idea. It wasn't even that he didn't trust Ronan as it was, because he trusted him with his life, but- it was more complicated than that.

Finally closing the rest of the distance between them, Kavinsky kissed Ronan, hooking one hand around the back of his neck.]

[threesecrets]

[Ronan swallows, unable to look away with the way that Kavinsky strips without breaking eye contact. And fuck, he's gorgeous. Ronan wants-- he's always wanted this, it's just a difficult thing to face, for him to handle. He's never had this before, and his resolve is a wavering thing, not always strong enough to carry his own desires.

But things were different here, somehow. The knowledge that those whispering dreams in the back of his head were real, were something that he'd had, that they'd had together-- Fuck. He shifts a little awkwardly when K asks if it was when he was soft and sweet. He's not quite close enough to kiss, but close enough to make Ronan think about it, close enough that his eyes dart down to his mouth and then back to his eyes.]

That too. But- back home, when we were dreaming- I dreamt about your body pressing me into the hood of the car, your fingers touching me. I wanted..

[I wanted you like this, words he doesn't quite manage to say. What he does manage still feels tense, something he has to unravel from his own claws. It's not an apology. Ronan doesn't say sorry. But it is the truth, at least. The part where Ronan hadn't exactly handled it well goes unsaid. It's not like he handled anything well, did he? But he wanted Kavinsky to know. That it wasn't just because of the sweet boy he'd been that he was standing here.

It feels vulnerable, almost more than he can take, but then Kavinsky's kissing him and Ronan leans into it with a sort of desperation, curls a hand around his waist. Like he wants the other boy can steal all the uncertainty from him with his lips.]

[burnyoudown]

Oh.

[Kavinsky could have easily been cruel and sharp--it was second nature to him. But he'd already worked out a good deal of aggression with their little fight earlier. All he wanted was to kiss Ronan, to touch him, to have him.]

I dreamed about you a lot of times. [He admitted when he pulled back from the kiss. Sometimes, he'd even been tempted to dream his own Ronan, but that would have been a pale imitation and not real. He wanted the real thing, the real Ronan, at the end of the day.] Even before I knew.

[Before he'd known Ronan was a dreamer, too. But finding out had fueled his dreams, made him think they'd had a potential future together. What kind of future? He hadn't really known, just something where their lives were tangled together.

Pressing a kiss to Ronan's jaw, Kavinsky started undoing his pants, torn between hurrying and not being in a rush at all. On the one hand, getting undressed was his least favorite part of sex, but on the other, seeing new expanses of skin bared...there was a thrill there.]

[threesecrets]

[It wasn't the only time that Ronan had dreamt about Kavinsky, but with as much as he's giving up already, he can't bring himself to tell the other boy that. Admitting that he'd wanted him when they were together, that he'd dreamt of having him press him into the hood of the car, that he'd wanted him, that he'd wanted to kiss him, wanted to have Kavinsky's hands on his skin.

But it does something to him, the knowledge that K had wanted him even before he'd known he was a dreamer. Ronan had been stunned just to find out that he'd known what he was before the racing, before the parties, before he'd really known anything about him aside from rumors and that he was cruel and attractive. Knowing that he'd wanted him even before that-- he doesn't fucking know. His heart skips and he bites his lip, caught without knowing what to say. He's not going to spell out I wanted you to fuck me and that's why I made a mess of everything.

Instead he just skips fingertips against the other boy, and Kaivnsky presses a kiss to his jaw, saving him from having to figure out something to say by virtue of undoing his pants, which Ronan figures is as good a reason as any to lose the words. His breath caught in a hiss, a rough gasp that trembles on his lips.

Kavinsky undoes his pants and Ronan's impatient enough to shove them down off of his hips, kicking them off with his boots and leaving him just in black boxer briefs that cling tight to his body- that make his arousal even more obvious. He feels almost overwhelmed, so he leans in, biting his mouth more than a proper kiss. Not enough to really hurt, just enough to keep Ronan anchored here, in the moment, in Kavinsky and what he wanted. He wasn't a soft thing anymore, but he still ached for him, as much as he'd tried not to.]

[burnyoudown]

[Ronan didn't have to say anything. They'd both made a mess of things and what was done was done. Nothing they could say would change it, but they could make their own future here, in this place. They could do almost whatever they wanted, and without Gansey around... Kavinsky felt like anything was possible.

He made an appreciative sound when Ronan stripped out of his pants, looking him up and down. He reached out, fingers curling around Ronan's hips as the other boy kissed him, or bit, really. The feel of his teeth sent a shiver down Kavinsky's spine and he grinned, kissing Ronan properly before catching his lower lip between his teeth, giving it a playful nip.

Pulling back just a little, he started working on his own pants, shoving them down and stepping out of them to leave himself in just his boxers.]

You're goddamn beautiful.

[He told Ronan. Kavinsky ached for him, and not just sexually. He was gorgeous, no matter how dressed or undressed he was, but seeing him like this- he was like a dream.]