Everybody here has loved and lost

[ezra_of_lothal]

WHO: Ezra Bridger and Padme Amidala, also OTA
WHERE: Around in Temba, especially the garden at the Jedi Temple, and the glownie ranch
WHAT: Padme and Ezra talk about Sith Lords, Ezra getting some feelings out with the help of animal friends, and generally being around Temba
WHEN: Sometime in August, after Luke arrives and Obi-wan tells Padme about Mustafar
WARNINGS: Discussion of Anakin becoming Vader, so murder and other violence are among other Star Wars flavor of bad possibilities

1. Closed to Padme

Ezra doesn't have the sort of bond with Padme that he does with Obi-wan - in the purely emotional or psychic sense - but months of sharing the space of the Temba Jedi Temple means he knows her presence well, and has started to pick up on her moods more sometimes without really trying.

Perhaps Padme, who has clearly spent a fair amount of time around Jedi long before meeting Ezra, wouldn't be surprised that not only does he know she's coming out to the temple garden before he sees her, but that he has an inkling of...intentness.

"Something you wanted to talk about?" he asks, lightly, without looking up from his weeding.

2. The glownie ranch, OTA

Sometimes meditation and Jedi mantras aren't enough to lay emotions to rest.

Ezra has next to no shame that he's internalized about displaying emotion, only his awareness that he lives alongside other people with varying empathic ability, so on days when his mood dips, he tends to remove himself from the temple area - away from the somewhat more populated areas of Temba entirely.

Today after feeding the glownies, sometime after he starts brushing them out for wool, he finds himself quietly leaking tears, which makes him pause in his work, puzzled at himself. It's no one thing upsetting him, he decides. In fact, he's not even completely sure it's entirely about his own emotions.

Maybe, he muses to himself, it wasn't just physical safety that had driven him out to the relatively isolated communications tower that had been the closest thing he had to a home for years, on Lothal. Maybe it had partly been, on a less than conscious level, about having quiet in the Force.

It's ok. He can let this built up pressure go off, and he'll feel better.

Being wrapped up in feelings and leaning into the simple physical and emotional warmth of the glownies means he less likely to notice the presence of other people. When he finally does, he startles, and wipes at his face with a hand.


3. Wildcard! Wanna stumble across Ezra gardening or herding some other day? Or somewhere else around Temba? Feel free to hit me up at skipthedemon or skipthedemon
#5032 on discord if you want to bounce an idea around!

Comments

[hadthehighground]

“Meditation is fundamental,” Obi-Wan agrees as he sits down and lets Ezra go about making the tea. The Jedi stroking his chin thoughtfully.

“I would like to say it’s just time and experience but I’m not sure.” He’s used to being around young Jedi who have already got a better handle on such things after all. With the exception of Anakin but Ezra started even later than him.

“I’ve been working with Cal regarding some advanced meditation techniques. Perhaps that and other mental exercises would be good for you.”

[ezra_of_lothal]

"I'm happy to give any of it a try," Ezra says eagerly.

He knows there are different forms of meditation. Maybe some variety would be good. "What sort of mental exercises?"

[hadthehighground]

"It's worth that much."

Though as Yoda would say, do or do not. There is no try. But Obi-Wan isn't Yoda and he wasn't able to quote the old master either.

"Ones that I think will help you strengthen your mental shielding and help you filter the noise around you. That will include meditation at the very least, but with some guidance. It may require a mental connection so that I can direct you."

Ezra was past the point of being able to learn gradually. He didn't want him to struggle with this over the next few years.

[ezra_of_lothal]

Kanan quoted Yoda at him, much to his confusion. He gets it better now - to some extent, using the Force really is like that. Doubt can mean the power of the Force slides out of our grasp completely.

But Ezra still thinks there's value in talking about trying new things as you're learning them.

"More like the shared meditation we had the Coruscant Temple than just our bond, you mean."

[hadthehighground]

There is certainly a balance to be had between the old and the new. Reaching out and trying new ideas, thinking outside of the box, is important for growth and improvement. However, it would be foolish to forget the past and the lessons that those before you gad learned. Otherwise one would be doomed to repeat their mistakes.

“Yes, exactly that. And now we have the crystals here to help us if we want them.”

[ezra_of_lothal]

"And it's probably a good idea to make use of them, at some point, but I'd like to see what we can do without them, first."

Try to make a deep enough connection for Obi-wan to show him the exercises, he means. If they fail, they fail. But he's curious how deep a connection they can make without the help.

[hadthehighground]

“I think that would be a good idea as well. It would be better to take things slow.” They can use the powerful treatments later, but Obi-Wan felt it would be better to ease into it. Especially after their experience the last time back in the temple.

In the end it would only help them grieve closer as master and apprentice and as brothers. At least that was the hope and intention.

[ezra_of_lothal]

"Then that's a plan," Ezra replies, pleased. "But - not one I want to start on today. I'm kinda drained."

As tended to happened after a lot of crying. He gets out the canister of replicated tea to get ready to steep.

"Tea and low keep company sounds about my speed right now."