Everybody here has loved and lost

[ezra_of_lothal]

WHO: Ezra Bridger and Padme Amidala, also OTA
WHERE: Around in Temba, especially the garden at the Jedi Temple, and the glownie ranch
WHAT: Padme and Ezra talk about Sith Lords, Ezra getting some feelings out with the help of animal friends, and generally being around Temba
WHEN: Sometime in August, after Luke arrives and Obi-wan tells Padme about Mustafar
WARNINGS: Discussion of Anakin becoming Vader, so murder and other violence are among other Star Wars flavor of bad possibilities

1. Closed to Padme

Ezra doesn't have the sort of bond with Padme that he does with Obi-wan - in the purely emotional or psychic sense - but months of sharing the space of the Temba Jedi Temple means he knows her presence well, and has started to pick up on her moods more sometimes without really trying.

Perhaps Padme, who has clearly spent a fair amount of time around Jedi long before meeting Ezra, wouldn't be surprised that not only does he know she's coming out to the temple garden before he sees her, but that he has an inkling of...intentness.

"Something you wanted to talk about?" he asks, lightly, without looking up from his weeding.

2. The glownie ranch, OTA

Sometimes meditation and Jedi mantras aren't enough to lay emotions to rest.

Ezra has next to no shame that he's internalized about displaying emotion, only his awareness that he lives alongside other people with varying empathic ability, so on days when his mood dips, he tends to remove himself from the temple area - away from the somewhat more populated areas of Temba entirely.

Today after feeding the glownies, sometime after he starts brushing them out for wool, he finds himself quietly leaking tears, which makes him pause in his work, puzzled at himself. It's no one thing upsetting him, he decides. In fact, he's not even completely sure it's entirely about his own emotions.

Maybe, he muses to himself, it wasn't just physical safety that had driven him out to the relatively isolated communications tower that had been the closest thing he had to a home for years, on Lothal. Maybe it had partly been, on a less than conscious level, about having quiet in the Force.

It's ok. He can let this built up pressure go off, and he'll feel better.

Being wrapped up in feelings and leaning into the simple physical and emotional warmth of the glownies means he less likely to notice the presence of other people. When he finally does, he startles, and wipes at his face with a hand.


3. Wildcard! Wanna stumble across Ezra gardening or herding some other day? Or somewhere else around Temba? Feel free to hit me up at skipthedemon or skipthedemon
#5032 on discord if you want to bounce an idea around!

Comments

[no_applause]

Padme had given herself some time to absorb the information Obi-Wan had give to her. To say it was a lot was an understatement. Anakin was alive but he'd turned to the Dark Side. Regardless of whether he was alive or not, she simply could not bear the thought of being with someone who'd turned against everything she held dear. The Anakin she loved was gone. She had to accept that.

But a part of her still wanted to know what happened to him. She knew she shouldn't and resisted as long as she could. But eventually, her curiosity won out and she sought out Ezra. She smiled at his greeting. "I shouldn't be surprised that you can tell that. Please... May I interrupt you for a time?"

[ezra_of_lothal]

"Yeah." He looks up, shoots her a smile and sits back on his heels.

"Of course. Did you want to go somewhere else, or hang out here?"

2.

[hershiningheart]

Usagi wasn't sure what leads her to the glownie ranch, she just felt that she needed to be somewhere but she wasn't sure why or what. She has no idea where she's at but it doesn't matter, something in her keeps her going.

It's isolated out here but she's not worried about getting lost right now. She only stops when she reaches the ranch, picking her away around the glownies. It was then she sees Ezra, standing there for a moment, not sure if she should stay but she can see his pain and can't walk away from him.

"I'm sorry. I uh- was exploring and just came by-" She stammers when he looks up at her. She slips out her pink bunny handkerchief from a pocket in her skirt, offering it to him with a warm but sad smile. "I'm Usagi."

[ezra_of_lothal]

He blinks at her, and stares dumbly at the offered handkerchief for a second before he reaches for it.

"Oh. Um. Thanks, Usagi." He wipes at his face a little more effectively with the cloth. "I'm Ezra. And, uh, I promise there's nothing terrible going on that needs fixing, honest." Nothing immediate or could be fixed from here, anyway.

"Just needed a good cry, I guess."

[hershiningheart]

"It's nice to meet you, Ezra. And it's ok, it's good to let it out, isn't it?" She felt bad that he was alone, perhaps like her, he didn't have anyone he knew here or had experienced loss as she had. As long as he seemed to want her to be here, she wasn't going anywhere.

"Even if we can't fix it, I'm here if you need someone to listen," she offers warmly, with sympathy. She has a sense that there is a lot weighing on him, carrying that burden alone wasn't easy so she would help shoulder it just for a moment if she could.

[ezra_of_lothal]

"So. This might sound silly or impossible depending on where you're from, but I promise it's true - I...pick up on emotions pretty easily. I mean, in the sense of psychicness or telepathy, although that's not what it's usually called where I'm from."

He shrugs. "And there's been a lot of big feelings going around. Especially from the people I actually live with. Not that the babies can help it. But the babies can pick up on emotions too, and so can a few other people."

He sighs out. "That's why I came here to let it out some."

[hershiningheart]

"It's not silly- I have a friend who is psychic, she has amazing powers," Usagi remarks, having no doubt that he's telling the truth. She doesn't have her own psychic abilities but she sensed that this wasn't a lie.

"That must be really hard to live with, having to feel everything everyone else is along with your own emotions. You must be strong, I don't think I could do that." She could barely deal with her own some days, especially after losing her friends and the silence from her boyfriend. She had to be strong for them and not get overwhelmed. For now, she could focus on trying to help Ezra the best she could.

She pauses for a moment, trying to think of how she could help. "Can you feel my emotions now?"

[ezra_of_lothal]

He tilts his head at her. "A little bit of concern, but you're pretty...self-contained? You're not adding to the being full up on emotions," he tries to reassure her.

"...tell me about your friend? And you, if you don't mind."

3

[hadthehighground]

Obi-Wan knows that not all was right. Emotions were being passed around the temple and ultimately he knew he was the source. Padme had been troubled, to say the least since he told her about what happened on Mustafar. Then he caught a glimpse of her talking to Ezra and now he felt that his padawan, his brother, was off balance now as well. He felt a bit of guilt in all of this, but also knew that it would all pass in time. It was something that sometimes had to work it’s course.

When Ezra left the temple to work on the ranch, his master didn’t stop him. Didn’t even let on that he knew where he was going and why. He merely kept a tenor of peace and calm through their bond. Meditating and letting his own feelings pass into the Force as he processed what he picked up from Ezra as well.

When Obi-Wan had his struggles, Ezra was there for him. So he would not be ignored when the roles were reversed. Despite giving the Padawan his alone time, Obi-Wan was there when he returned. The Jedi waiting in silence at the temple gates. Standing like a sentinel, but also a welcoming beacon of light.

[ezra_of_lothal]

Ezra hadn't really paid conscious attention to their bond while he'd been out at the glownie ranch, but neither had he tried to hide from it either. He'd had a vague hope that some combination of simple distance and a lack of sharp edges to his mood had been enough for his little breakdown to mostly fly under the metaphorical radar.

As he comes back closer to the temple area, he catches onto the pretty clear sense that Obi-wan is waiting on him, well before he's in easy speaking distance.

When he's finally close enough to talk out loud, he says ruefully, "Wasn't far enough out for you not to pick up on some of that, was I, huh?"

The padawan doesn't see any point in obfuscating after the fact. Although, absently, he does wonder just how far they could manage various forms of passive and active communication. He'd managed to zero in on Kanan's location half way across the Mustafar system once, but that had been effort in dire circumstances. Obi-wan was at least as aware of his apprentice's emotion as Kanan had been.

[hadthehighground]

Once he speaks Obi-Wan’s lips pull in a fond even if slightly exasperated smile. Yes he could feel your emotions quite clearly, Ezra. It seemed clear to him that it had something to do with him too.

Thus he walks forward to meet his brother, reaching out to draw him into a warm embrace. “I don’t think you could possibly be far enough here, and that’s all right.” He wasn’t upset about it, instead all he wanted to do was comfort him. “I don’t want you to hide your feelings from me any more than you want me to hide mine. But it’s also okay to need some alone time.”

[ezra_of_lothal]

"Oh." He sags into the hugs a little, not even pretending not to briefly tuck his face against Obi-wan's shoulder for a moment, before muttering, "Well, shows you what I know."

And to be fair, most of the time Kanan and Ezra had been practically on top of each other, in a fairly small ship, or not very large base, or running missions together. Distance or alone time had mostly gone hand in hand with one or the other of them actively shutting the other out. And that was a pattern he'd rather avoid.

He lifts his head enough to sideways glance without fully pulling away. "I'm - I don't think it's any one thing, getting to me. This is all pretty different from when I was on my own or when I was part of the Spectres."

[hadthehighground]

Chuckling warmly, Obi-Wan doesn’t at all mind as Ezra sinks against him. A hand raising to even stroke his hair a little. Shutting out his Padawan is not something he ever intended to do unless it was absolutely necessary. But that also meant they had to live with each other’s emotions. Both the good and the bad.

“You are among people who feel deeply, and being open to that takes adjustment.” Not that the Spectres didn't, but there was a lot of overwhelming emotion going around. Obi-Wan was very well aware of that and Ezra didn’t have near the practice handling it as he did.

“I’m sorry for my part in it. I’m sure you know it’s not my wish to pull you down. But this too is also a part of learning to be a Jedi, and we all have much to learn still.”

[ezra_of_lothal]

"Hmm, choosing not to argue about that 'sorry'," Ezra snarks lightly.

"It's also stuff like - the babies really can't help how big all their feelings are." He guesses it's a little that way for all babies, but maybe especially for Force sensitive ones. Maybe extra especially for Skywalker offspring.

"And yeah, not just people here at the temple. I'm think I'm soaking stuff up from, but well, nearly everyone in Temba."

glownie ranch

[demjiin]

Kaz was gathering the scrap leather from one of the places Moonshade had mentioned. Already he had a few things packed into a beige tote bag, with the pink smiley face the Agrii used on it, to take with him into the new city. Now he held his cane with his left hand and had the tote bag's handles slung over his right shoulder.

He did notice Ezra and said nothing as he approached. He couldn't use his cane on the soft, grassy earth so his limp was more pronounced but his cane was still held in his left hand. However, Ezra of all people would notice that Kaz's thoughts were not as easy to read as they had been but since Ezra's empathic abilities were better attuned than many other Jedi in Temba, he would probably know the emotion he was now feeling belonged to Kaz. Anger was almost always a part of him, but at present, there's also a mixture of curiosity and compassion. Kaz would almost always try to hide any emotion from ever showing on his face, but someone that could sense emotions would know that for a very select few, Kaz would feel a sort of empathy in his own way. Kaz felt far more emotions than he ever would let show in his behavior.

Right at this moment, he said nothing about those tears and simply came up beside Ezra.

"If you're gathering wool, then brush against the grain. Anything that's ready to come off will get caught in the brush better that way."

Kaz wouldn't mention Ezra's tears if Ezra wasn't.

[ezra_of_lothal]

Ezra looks up with a blink.

"That's more efficient per stroke," he agrees, sort of. "But they're more likely to stay still if you go with grain. Kinda have to play it by ear."

[demjiin]

Kaz frowned at that but his tone was as dry as dust.

"I wasn't thinking about the glownie's comfort."

Judging by his behavior, Ezra didn't seem to be upset? Curiosity has the upper hand here because there were conflicting behaviors.

[ezra_of_lothal]

Ezra shrugs.

"Not something you have to think about usually. I need them to trust me, if I want them to keep being cooperative and mostly docile. They aren't really domesticated, for one thing."

[demjiin]

Okay, there was definitely something weird going on with Ezra. He had tears running down his face but was acting like everything was fine and dandy about that. Kaz's curiosity was now getting the better of him.

"Usually I wouldn't ask but you have conflicting behaviors. The tears on one hand but also acting totally fine on the other. So how is that supposed to work when put together?"

[ezra_of_lothal]

Ezra blinks still slightly damp eyes at him.

"You've never had conflicting feelings and impulses?"

Glownie Ranch

[holtfinder]

Moonshade's mostly there to examine the glownie wool, but when she notices Ezra, there's a thoughtful pause. "I can come back later, if it's better."

While crying isn't seen as shameful among her people (she'd even seen chiefs weep openly), it's still awkward as ever to walk up on someone who's doing it, someone who she doesn't know well enough to have any idea of how to offer comfort.

But she doesn't walk away immediately, waiting for his response. In case he does want her to stay.

[ezra_of_lothal]

Ezra blinks for a second, then shakes his head.

"I'm probably not great company right now, but I don't mind you being here."

[holtfinder]

"I'm not sure you need to be great company for me."

She walks over to a nearby glownie, running her fingers through its' wool. Steadypaw isn't with her for this, for obvious reasons; no need to scare the beasties.

"Of course if someone's done something to hurt or upset you, I could go deal with them and then come back."

[ezra_of_lothal]

"What?" Ezra's eyes go wider. "No."

And then visibly pulling himself he says more firmly, "Thank you. But it's not like that."

He doesn't know exactly what she'd think was appropriate action, if someone had hurt him and whether he should condone it, anyway. But he can show gratitude for the solidarity without getting into that discussion right this second.

"It's just-" He sighs. "Some of it is someone from home, or um, a possible future from home? Showed up. With mixed news. And him just being here kinda kicked some complicated stuff to the surface for the Temple residents. But mostly I think it's just, uh, emotions. From everyone."

He watches her reaction hopefully. He's not sure how Sending, as she called it, works for her. Maybe it's easy to turn all the way on and off.

But hey, maybe she'd get it.

[holtfinder]

Moonshade had never been sensitive to emotions, not to the degree Ezra is, but there were a few elves around who were, including her chief's boy-cub, Sunstream. His 'magic feeling' had reached elves halfway across the globe, and he would one day send out the Call that would unite all tribes.

She wasn't sure what to make of Sunstream or his magic, but she remembers how overwhelming it got for him sometimes.

Still, her own emotional leakage is reigned in after he says that. Not completely shielded, more like she calms herself so there isn't as much frenetic feralness surrounding her. It's the sort of thing she'd do for her mate, when he's angry; she becomes the steady rock on the other end of the connection. A point on which to anchor.

"Possible future homes are a complicated manner. Time is a broken wheel, when the future comes back to try to change the past." She sounds like she has experience with that matter.