revivalproject | neck of the woods

Entry tags:

neck of the woods

WHO: Tony and his new Graq friends. Open to other absolute morons.
WHERE: Graq homeworld
WHAT: Jungle adventures! Some animal wrangling, some spelunking, more mistakes, and a date.
WHEN: Shortly after getting all of the Graq home.
WARNINGS: I cannot promise all of these alien animals are going to be treated with dignity. Edit: I don't know what either of us expected, of course it is horny. Uh, not with the animals, the animals are fine.

a. The caverns [OTA! I have no plan for this, BYO Adventure]
One of the Graq had explained on the trip over how the satellites around their planet orbited in perfect alignment to create a solar eclipse every cycle, sheering through the light reliably every morning like the moon was late to set and met the sun coming up on the horizon. They didn't explain it quite that way, of course; at first, Tony though the Graq didn't know that a solar cycle happened on any other planets and was trying to explain what night was to him, which became frustrating enough for the alien to spit a hole into the ship floor between them. So, Tony's effortless charm didn't work in Graq language. While the Graq lacked the descriptive words to convey their message to Tony, when he finally saw the phenomenon occur he paused and went, "Oh," out loud, though his erstwhile planetary guide had long since tired of him. The great shadow of the moon passed over the planet, and with it the raucous chattering of the forest around him slowed and quieted to a very queer stillness, the nocturnal animals not yet awake and the diurnal ones holding their collective breath at this early evening. It made the sound that came from inside the cave just a few feet away from where Tony stood seem loud, and close.

b. The hills [For Cayde, but you are welcome to join]
There wasn't a perfect translation into any languages that Tony knew he might share with Cayde for the giant fowl on the planet, so when the Graq tried to describe them when asked what they were eating, what Tony said to Cayde was, "Big feather," with a shrug and raised lip. They lived on steep hills, one of the Graq very intently tried to explain despite Tony definitely not asking, because they built their nests into holes they dug into them, and because of this their eggs were incredibly hard to crack without Graq spit, so do not bother. Tony did not need this warning and, again, did not ask, but now he knew and was well prepared to announce, "Big feather egg," when they came upon what looked like shards of a hollowed rock at the foot of a craggy hill. Now he was starting to sound like one of them, he was integrating to the local culture in ways he did not appreciate. The nests, as described, dotted all the way up the hill, looking like steps built into the sheerest face of it, leaving the impression of a pyramid built into this less dense part of the jungle.

'Big feather' sounded like it was going to get Tony closer to the pillow he had hoped to find for Jon than the noodles he had hoped to get for Cayde, and upon spotting one of those birds, Tony was ready to accept that this planet was not going to produce either of these gifts for him. These people didn't yet seem to have their own bread, let alone noodle, and when the Graq had said 'big' they meant enormous. More of a sword than a feather. Not pillowy down, anyway. It went stalking across the steep hill expertly, long legs fully extended and navigating the angle with sharp claws digging in to the rock to balance its fat, bobbling body, head twitching and blinking stupidly like a chicken, only approximately the size of a dinosaur.

"I don't say this often," Tony started, and it already sounded like a lie, haughty with his chin raised as he tracked the unreasonable bird, "but I am confident I am the most beautiful thing on this planet." He definitely did say that more often than he deserved to, but in this case he had sound logic. Graq were ugly, these birds were ugly, based on this sample this whole planet's evolution tended toward squashy and wrong-sized. "Present company an ongoing consideration," he was willing to allow.

c. The water [For Jon, but you are still welcome]
This was an ideal environment for plenty of very ugly bugs and grubs. Frogs, generously. Insects, in general, were not hugely upsetting for Tony, with the distinct exception of anything cockroach-like, but he did prefer a more sterile, modern, less bug-centric experience, if it were up to him, and he was realizing that he had made the wrong choice. He could have been on a spaceship right now, in space, on a ship. With the exception of the unique mineral compound of the malleable stones, there wasn't much to Tony's taste on this primitive planet.

The locals, obviously, being local and made for this environment, loved it, and appreciated being returned safely despite the awkward introductions. With a few of their rescuers on the planet with them, the Graq decided it was an ideal time to celebrate the reunion of their families, and these strange, hairless bipeds that had made that happen for them. "They want us to join them at sunset," he had translated to the camp of He-Rows, "by the waterfall, they say is over there. Follow the river, can't miss it, it's water, it's not confusing. I don't think they're going to eat us, but don't quote me on that."

Bugs on any planet, it was a universal truth, got worse the closer it was to dusk. Tony crouched by the river as the sun went down, trying to remain curious about what this planet had to offer as he felt the waxy leaf of a vibrant lilypad in a cluster that didn't seem bothered by the meandering water, only to be smacked in the face by what he would assume to be a moth on Earth, and what he didn't want to think too hard about here. "This is a nightmare," he grumbled, wiping at his cheek to make sure it hadn't left anything behind, then glanced up at the distant sound of drumming music from the direction of what must have been this waterfall site. Fashionably late, as ever.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

The hole was very quiet for a moment before the tiny point of light appeared below the Soldier, and Tony generously accepted, "Cool." He swung the light around the cave to get a better sense of what he was working with down here, then pointlessly up at the Soldier, not quite bright enough to make it back up to the hole Tony had fallen through even if it didn't lose out to the soft light of the eclipse part way there. "Ten more of these and I might forgive you," he announced. That had to be what the light was for, after all, because Tony was finding the Soldier otherwise hard to read from this distance, and the gesture wasn't saying, stay put and don't get bored for a second, to Tony. It was saying, go further into the cave, see what you can find.

The Soldier shrugged, not quite knowing how to reply. He didn't have ten more of the lights, so it was likely a moot point. Plus, he wasn't fully sure what need he had of forgiveness, though he supposed it could be just for his existence. He did notice how he seemed to frustrate people.

"Don't have ten more," he finally replied. "Didn't want you stuck in the dark while I tried to find something to fish you out." Just because he hadn't had any trouble in the caves, didn't mean there wasn't still danger down there. If nothing else, the unfamiliar landscape could be threatening enough.

"Explore a bit if you want to find your own way, but if you don't come out in two hours, I'll come down there and try to find you." That seemed like the best compromise, unless Tony had any other ideas.

Sending someone falling down a hole could have been a trait one called 'frustrating', sure. What was more frustrating to Tony was the shrugging nonchalance with the problem, making him wrinkle his nose then mumbled incredulously, "Two hours." Like Tony had two hours to spend wandering around in a dark cave. "You know what," he called up, "for that, it's twenty now. You're running up a tab. How do you feel about indentured servitude? Too soon? I promise I'll be gentle, I just could use someone to do my laundry."

He frowned; even if he attributed a large part of Tony's words to attitude, it was still clear that no solution he had offered thus far pleased Tony. And while he didn't care much if the man liked him or not — he had a feeling it was more toward the not end of that spectrum — it was probably in his best interest to keep somewhat in his good graces on the chance that his arm might require maintenance.

And there was that whole, try to be a person thing. For the most part, he didn't much enjoy it. (A small part of his brain pointed out that as being the reason he was so bad at it. He ignored that internal voice.)

"I offered to lead you out, and you rejected it," he pointed out. "So I offered to get something to try to fish you out, and you rejected that too. Now I offered to come after you if you hadn't found your exit in a reasonable time, and you've rejected that." A beat. "It would probably be more efficient if you just told me what you want."

The Soldier, despite himself, appeared to be much more aware of when he was or wasn't being an asshole and prepared to make any attempt to correct course, than Tony was. That wasn't a high bar to clear, but did mean that he was dealing with Tony's response to his attempt to be a rational person being a petulant, "Did not." That was becoming a pattern in Tony's conversations with this man, that much Tony was aware of, making him pout but very prepared to double down with a well argued, 'Nuh-uh' if it came to it, because he didn't think he had been rejecting the offers. Just wasn't totally satisfied with their parameters, that was normal, he couldn't possibly be that high maintenance while at the bottom of a hole. Most of the time otherwise, sure.

Just to prove how very easygoing he was, Tony frowned and accepted, "Just find a branch or--come down here, if you really want to help, how is that so hard? I mean, don't, we don't both have to be stuck, but..." Okay, the conditions weren't proving anything.

"Sounded like rejection," he replied simply, though whether it was because Tony didn't like his offers or because Tony didn't like the Soldier himself, he couldn't say. He supposed that ultimately, it didn't matter; the man needed assistance, and no one else was present to provide it. No amount of petulance on Tony's part was going to cause the Soldier to be spontaneously replaced by someone he liked more.

"You don't look like the exploratory type," he finally decided, pushing himself to his feet. He appreciated the challenge of navigating the caves, but Tony Stark didn't strike him as the type to enjoy the same activities. "I will find a branch that looks sturdy."

He resisted adding the admonition don't move; Tony likely wouldn't appreciate it.

It might have been because he was keyed up already to argue, but Tony took enough offence to that assessment that he took a breath that squared his shoulders and puffed his chest, only to release it for a preemptively defeated slump. Whether or not he looked, to the Soldier, like 'the exploratory type' (did that mean he wasn't interesting? Or was his complaining that telling?), Tony did have to concede that being exploratory had likely gotten him into this situation, and he could have been back at the ship and not in a cave if he had not flirted with it. Now might not have been the time to push the trait. That left him pouting around at his surroundings, trying to blame them instead of himself, as the Soldier retreated from the circle of light above and left Tony to consider his next move. Not trying to tell him what to do next was definitely the better call, because being told not to move definitely would have sent Tony down the tunnel spitefully sooner, but they were still on a ticking clock in a battle with his curious impatience.

The Soldier had about thirty-five seconds before Tony was gone, picking his way in the direction he thought he had seen that cave entrance, only encouraged by this light the man had gifted him.

The exploratory type: noun 1. someone who, on falling down a hole in the ground and finding himself facing a series of caverns, feels excitement about the challenge they present in returning to the surface
2. not Tony Stark

Really though, the Soldier accepted that he had at least partial fault in the situation, and he did feel responsible for helping the other man get out of the hole. The most expedient method, in his mind, would be to lower something for Tony to grasp, and use it to pull him out.

Of course, in the five minutes it took him to uproot a strong sapling and bring it back to the hole, Tony must have wandered off; he no longer saw the man at the bottom of it. Sighing to himself (and absently wondering if the man got along with Steve, a thought he summarily dismissed) he sat at the edge of the hole again and called down into it. "Stark?"

He waited a moment, then called again. "Stark? I'm giving you five minutes before I come down there." Of course, he assumed that Tony was close enough to hear him. But if he wasn't, it couldn't exactly be helped.

And if that five minutes passed without Tony showing his face, well, the Soldier had taken longer falls and not willingly; jumping from the surface to the bottom of the hole would not stress his body too much.

Ten minutes was plenty of time for Tony to a) figure out a system of mounds of dirt or stone to mark where he had been and b) find trouble. He had already deleted the, what he had assumed, irrelevant information about the thing the Graq said made the caves, it had a name, didn't matter and had sounded like primitive mythbuilding at the time, but it was difficult to ignore the peculiarly consistent shape and size of the cave tunnels as they meandered around to connect to larger caverns. That didn't make the Graq's story that much more believable, Tony reasoned, just that they had crafted an explanation for a natural phenomena that they could understand, despite the fact that they didn't have a similarly fanciful one for the eclipse. Tony paused. Should he be worried? The cave entrance couldn't be far-- he pinched some of the fine dust from the tunnel floor between his fingers and watched as it wafted--back the way he had come, probably to that hole in the ceiling. Not helpful. Only, it suddenly redirected, darting back across the light that Tony had shone upward to watch it, making his eyes widen in surprise. He could practically hear that--inhale. He didn't even turn to look over his shoulder, but bolted, toppling his little markers as he sprinted back down the tunnel and hissed to himself, "Thirty years, still hoping Bucky Barnes will come to your rescue, what a nightmare."

The allotted five minutes up, the Soldier sighed and got to his feet. Tony had clearly wandered off; Tony clearly wasn't returning within the time frame the Soldier had defined. He could probably just leave him down there and attempt to wait it out, but that sounded boring. And if Tony had wandered off out of boredom, he couldn't ignore the idea that Tony might also have found trouble.

And trouble could relieve some of the boredom, honestly.

Patting himself down to make sure all his equipment was secure, he jumped into the hole. He'd gauged its depth while talking to Tony, prepared himself for the drop, but it still stung in the knees when he hit the ground, bending the joints to absorb some of the shock of impact.

Shortly thereafter, of course, Tony himself came barreling into the chamber. The Soldier cursed his own timing; had he waited but a few moments more, he'd still be at the top of the hole and able to pull the man out. But there was nothing for it; seeing Tony's agitation he immediately drew a knife with his right hand and reached out with his left in an attempt to steer the man behind him — and see the potential threat behind that.

It wasn't exactly how the fantasy usually went. Granted, the last time Tony had really thought about it, he was at least a foot shorter, and so was, he assumed, Bucky. Theoretically. That fantasy Bucky was never nearly as imposing looking, anyway, in his bright colours and little shorts, and Tony was pretty sure he preferred how this was going so far, because the Soldier looked more prepared to take on an alien beast than the boy wonder. "Big worm!" Tony announced helpfully as he zipped by, sliding in the dirt as he rounded the Soldier by catching him around the arm and coming to a tentative stop behind his shoulder. In Tony's defence, he was prepared to argue for his own dignity, he was at his best fighting from the air, with a lot of space to move and control. This close quarters thing was for the supersoldiers.

The threat came crashing through the tunnel, all gaping mouth with a ridge of horns or teeth or--something, something that didn't belong on a worm, circling it like a crown that dragged runnels through the dirt, letting it rifle its way through the rocks to create the distinct shape of the passages. That was not something Tony would recommend fighting with a knife. He gave a tug to the Soldier's arm, eyes wide and black in the dark.

No boy wonder costuming here (though arguments could be made about Steve's original uniform). The Soldier has kept to a simple theme: black, and as close to leather-and-kevlar tactical gear as possible. In an environment like the caverns, little-to-no light and deep shadows, it would hopefully prove a boon.

Then again, an underground burrowing worm large enough to carve tunnels with its bulk likely had way more advantage.

He cursed under his breath, falling back into Russian because honestly, the harsh sounds to the language suited it well. Guns weren't part of his current inventory — mostly due to mistrust of the Agrii data points — and their current positioning didn't give them any advantage for taking it down with what he had on him. Best to retreat then, attempt to get away now and worry about finding an exit after.

Or a better chance to take the beast down. He hadn't discounted that possibility.

"Run," he urged Tony, moving into that tug, away from the worm. "The far tunnel. Go."

Tony didn't need to be told twice, but kept a tight grip on the Soldier's arm as if to make sure they were both actually running and he wasn't feeding the guy to the worm for his own heroic escape. He only let go as they crowded into the tunnel and couldn't keep a pace side by side in the narrow passage, tearing ahead with the faint glow of the light the Soldier had given him to try to assess what they were running into before it became the next problem. Sliding in the dirt and skidding around narrow corners that had him bumping his shoulders against the rocks was irritatingly familiar, why was it always giant underground bugs lately?, but he didn't have the flares or Cayde's gunslinging to settle the issue this time.

"We're going down!" Tony announced, sure the Soldier had felt that slope, too, but still feeling it necessary to make very clear to the gathered assembly, "Down is bad!"

As they run, the Soldier kept looking from side to side, hoping for a smaller tunnel or crevasse that they can take to get away from the worm. Something that they could fit into and it couldn't would be fine — or a sharp turn they could take to get out of its immediate path.

Unfortunately they hadn't been that lucky thus far. And the tunnel definitely took a downward slope beneath their feet.

"Down is fine!" Down was better than crushed or eaten by a giant worm. Plus when he was exploring earlier, some of the tunnels had opened into larger caverns. If they were lucky, they would hopefully encounter one — maybe with some nice ledges on the wall that they could climb up and get out of the path of their pursuit. And as long as he was wishing, a good, strong rope and a pair of Sigs wouldn't go amiss either. "Anything that opens into a larger space gives us room to maneuver around it!"

A larger space like a tomb that this worm regularly stalked its prey to, and this whole pursuit was just a game that they were meant to lose at the bottom of a pit full of skeletons. This was a lofty concept for Tony to vocalize while he ran, so he made a noise of complaint that abruptly cut off as he came to a sudden stop, then doubled back, all but crashing into the Soldier. Tony grabbed him by the collar and hauled him to the side into where the light had caught a strange surface, then shadow; a narrow crevasse, like he had been hoping for, that Tony had to jam himself into, then drag the broader Soldier against the squeeze of the rocks with him, just as the worm slammed the side of its horny head against the wall they retreated into. Tony found he had to cut off an alarmed exclamation, not sure how he was supposed to address this man, and decided it was a perfectly normal time to ask, "Do you really not have a name?" Crushed between the rocks, jagged darkness cutting further into the ground to one side and angry worm monster to the other, Tony said, "I think you deserve one."

Look the cavern was a great idea, okay?!? Don't knock it.

But the Soldier quickly followed Tony's lead, squeezing into the narrow space — much closer to Tony than he would have preferred, but it couldn't be helped — and took a moment to just breathe, listening carefully. The worm made a decent amount of noise trying to get to them but the rock didn't sound like it was going to give and he didn't think the creature was smart enough to try waiting them out. They just had to be patient until it got bored and decided to seek other prey. Really, it wasn't the worst situation he'd ever found himself.

That was when Tony apparently decided it was time to talk.

The dim light meant that the Soldier couldn't see all of Tony's features clearly, couldn't truly read his expression to try to find out what was behind the question. It hopefully also meant that Tony couldn't read all of his, because he didn't think, in the wake of the adrenaline rush, that he'd kept an entirely neutral expression; he was out of practice and mentally scolded himself for it. Then he exhaled in a soft sigh, looked away from Tony anyway. Just in case. "I really don't," he replied, though he didn't clarify if he was addressing the question or the following statement. He planned to take his cue from the other man, see which point he pushed before choosing how to navigate the conversation. It likely wouldn't be comfortable either way.

No part of this was comfortable, including how obvious that ambiguity was, so Tony took a moment to mutter, "Okay, well." It was quiet under the way the worm scraped against the seam in the tunnel wall, trying to catch a thorn against the edge and tear it open for the meal inside. Tony was looking up, like they might shimmy their way out that way, then away from the crack they had slipped through and further into the unknown. It was hard to hear over the sounds of the pursuer, but they did seem to continue to echo that way, so Tony started to move carefully again, twisting and ducking around unforgiving shards. "Jeffrey," he said suddenly as he went, then, "No." A moment later, "Darrel."

At least the conversation was more comfortable than getting eaten. That was a very important point to consider. And they had enough room to move, though it proved awkward in places. Now and then the Soldier reached out to brush Tony's sleeve, just to ensure they weren't separated. He really didn't want to have to try tracking down the other man down here.

"Soldier," he said quietly, in response to the attempted names. They felt wrong, but he doubted that he could explain it in a way that Tony would understand. The few people to whom he'd tried to explain hadn't; those conversations had not gone well at all. He'd mostly given up on trying.

They felt wrong because they were the wrong names, not the kind of name for a guy from the dawn of time with a metal arm, or so Tony interpreted that response. He was quiet for slightly longer this time as they worked further away from the frustrated worm, trying to bridge that gap, and eventually produced for approval in the dark, "Papa Bear." He shifted the light, catching the flash of his grin as he turned it on the Soldier instead of trying to search ahead as he continued, "Honeybee. Reginald. Sweet-hup!" Tony dropped, catching himself with surprise on one of the jutting rocks as the ledge he stepped toward cracked under his weight, and went sliding noisily down into that cavern the Soldier had been looking for. Forgetting the christening for a moment, Tony searched for a safe place to step out of the narrow passage and investigate this new problem to solve.

"No," he replied to the latest suggestion. And "no," followed by "no," followed by "why are you so—"

Followed by Tony not looking where he was going, and all but tumbling out of sight — and just fast enough for the Soldier's outstretched arm to miss grabbing him. Immediately dropping to a crouch (lower the center of gravity) he grabbed onto the side wall of the tunnel (dig metal into rock, secure the anchor point) and leaned over the crumbled ridge to try to spot Tony. What he did see was the flash of light, tracked its progress to a stop and called down to the other man: "are you in one piece?"

He'd call again if he had to, and louder, but he was hoping to not attract too much new attention and kept his voice low. He'd join the other man in a moment, but needed to make sure he wouldn't come down in a way that would risk injury to Tony.

It wasn't really a sheer drop, more of a surprising slope, the rocks loose and tumbling as Tony worked for a foothold before he went sliding blindly any deeper into the cavern. "Fine," he insisted in a slightly strained grunt. "Hey, can we call that one your fault, too? Technically, you're a distraction. If you weren't here, I would have seen that coming a mile away." Of course this whole predicament was Tony's fault.

Instead of replying, the Soldier leaned a little further out, trying to get a better view. The problem with the dark cavern was, well, its darkness: even to his enhanced eyesight, the little bit of light they had wasn't enough to make out a lot of details.

"Yes," he finally answered, "we all know I'm horrible; add it to the list. Do you think you can climb up to where I can reach you, or am I coming down there?" The slope didn't look too bad from this angle, but that was considering his own abilities. And they had to take the loose rock into account as well. It didn't matter if the Soldier could climb it; what mattered was if Tony could. He didn't truly know the extent of the other man's abilities, aside from an apparent affinity for finding trouble.

The sound of Tony scrambling on the rolling rocks felt loud to his ears, sure every pebble was alerting any other worms lurking down here in the dark to their presence. Rapidly, Tony gave up on that endeavour and pressed himself up on the handhold that hadn't let him down yet, before shakily peeling one hand away to reach up and flail hopefully; it was dark, he was already stressed, he couldn't hold his weight up on one arm indefinitely. "Any time," he grunted, "Or--come on down. That's worked out. So far."

"Okay," he agreed simply. Tony coming up might not have solved anything for them anyway, with the worm between them and their entry point. Exploring the cavern for alternate routes would be best, especially if he could link up with the areas he'd explored earlier.

He took another moment to assess the slope down to where Tony hung, and how he'd have to aim himself to come up about level with the man, without compromising his handhold. Then he let go of his own perch, sliding on loose skree. Fortunately though where Tony had to rely on catching handholds, the Soldier could make his own, metal fingers digging into rock as he approached the other man. He ignored the wrench it gave his shoulder to stop himself so, instead looking Tony over from head to foot. He didn't look injured; that was a good sign.

"Let me slide the rest of the way down first," he suggested. "Since you don't look before you step."

"You're not supposed to--Okay," Tony sighed, sliding back down to hang off of the rock with both hands, wincing theatrically as pebbles went scattering around him in the Soldier's wake. His tone wasn't working well with this one, that could be a bit of fun. Later, out of the dark. "It's a personality defect," he replied, okay, maybe a bit of fun now, because he just said he was fine, the Soldier didn't need to give him a once over like that. "Doctors say it's a side effect of being this handsome. Fatal, unfortunately."

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excuse you, all these tasty snacks need is a nice wine pairing

It's true that they are very good snacks

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