revivalproject | You can't hide from your problems

Entry tags:

You can't hide from your problems | Calibrations

WHO: Billy Kaplan, OPEN
WHERE: Billy's Calibration Room
WHAT: Calibrations
WHEN: 3 June - 10 June
WARNINGS: Potential Warnings for Violence, Depression, Death and Suicide, but also some happy things

The room you step into isn't all that different from Billy's actually room back home, for those that know it. It looks like the room of a typical nerdy teenager, walls adorned with posters of his favourite heroes, and a desk cluttered with unfinished homework. There's shelves with books, and assorted action figures, as well as a few old games- like operation, which don't seem to have gotten much attention lately, covered in a layer of dust.

Billy lays on his bed with an assortment of comics, reading through them, though when he glances up you might note that his eyes are wrong. All black with fields of stars, like you can see the depths of universe in them.

He curls a finger, and a box beneath the bed scoots further back into the darkness.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

That's...a lot to process. Billy nods slowly to show he's heard, frowning and running it through his head a few times to sort his thoughts.

"...I've seen you help people. I'd say it's a least a bit of both," he concludes uncertainly.

"...And you did that to Tommy? You um...you made him do that-?"

Jon shakes his head. "Not- Quite. I made him tell me something. But nothing that would give him a nightmare. He got... Difficult. And I got impatient. And... I was hungry." Jon looks away at those last few words.

"I'm not sure how much of it was the hunger, but... It's... It can be trying to be near an anxious person for me. Even with Tony making sure I don't starve myself, my resources... Are limited."

"I think you might have picked the wrong twin to make a meal out of," he teases lightly, gesturing to himself, still not quite at ease, but trying to offer a sort of smile, "Do you...I mean- if people wanted to, could they offer up what they've got? Then you wouldn't...feel so hungry?"

Jon meet the first comment with a little shrug of accepting his own failing. Billy's question? Is met with a pause from the Archivist, and his hands clasping together tightly in his lap.

But then he gives a small nod. "That's possible, yes. Back home I- I try to stick with written statements. Here I... With a little luck I can find something pre-recorded in one of the recorders that appear from time to time. Those work too. Everything that doesn't happen face-to-face bears no risk for the person involved. Cayde actually gave me a written report about himself and his world."

"...What happens with face-to-face?" Billy pressing with a small frown, sensing it can't be that good if he won't outright say it. But...regardless-

"So...if you told people what you needed, couldn't we supply you with enough to help? Let it be there choice, and then maybe you wouldn't feel the same need to do what you did to Tommy?"

"Nightmares, Billy." Jon replies with a sigh, his eyes sticking to his hands. "Recurring nightmares that force the person to relive whatever fearful experience they shared with me over and over and over again. I get them, too. Actually have an entire collection I go through whenever I sleep and- Those people... My... Victims. I will be there. In their dreams. Only to watch them suffer. It's not something I wish to impose on anyone ever again."

Clasping his hands together even tighter, Jon goes on "...but I'm also afraid. Afraid of... Telling people. Here." He has no real means to defend himself should some of them decide to get rid of the evil monster hiding among them.

"..." Billy pales a little, not sure what to say.

"You don't have to tell anyone if you don't want to, but...I dunno, people might surprise you? They might want to help. I do. I've got...a whole host of fears..."

"Or they might decide that it's in their best interest to hunt me down." Jon brings up his concerns, then sighs, shoulders dropping even more. "Billy, I'm scared. I hardly know for sure what I am, but I already get hunted enough for it back on Earth."

"...Look, do you want to hurt people? Because I've definitely gotten the impression that you don't. Apart from whatever you did to my brother- which- if you try anything like that again, with him or anyone, I'll give you something to be scared of," he warns gently, "...But...if it's just-...part of being you...I'm not going to let anyone hunt you down, all right? You can't help what you are. No one can."

The Archivist shakes his head. "No. I don't- I mean... I don't want to actively hurt anyone. But I-" He takes a deep breath. "I... I think I like watching people suffer. Which- Which I KNOW is wrong, but-!" He brings a hand up to his head, shaking it again. "I'm sorry..." It's messed up and he's perfectly aware of it.

"For now I... I think I'd rather not have it be widely known."

"..." His brows crease. It's not exactly a comforting thing to hear, but he nods, trying to keep as much of an open mind as he can.

"...I'll help keep you fed. I won't tell anyone, just- don't tell Tommy, okay?"

Very little of Jon's life is comforting these days, yet he lacks the power to effectively change any of it.

Billy's words make Jon look up, frowning a little in surprise, but also raise one of his hands in a halting motion. "You don't have to do that, Billy- I... I mean I appreciate the offer, but- I wouldn't want you to break your promise to Tommy." Because Tommy trusts his brother and wouldn't take lightly to such a betrayal.

"You're a good doctor and I still need to work with you. And I'll feel better about that knowing you aren't starving or tempted to feed off our patients," Billy reasons, "And it's...the right thing to do. You shouldn't have to starve because of something you can't help."

Jon wants to argue that he isn't a doctor at all. That all he does is mix some of their medication - primarily painkillers - and played the nurse. But of course Billy raises some good points that even Jon can't exactly deny. Especially the one regarding him potentially feeding off some of their patients.

"Y-... you're right." He eventually agrees, though still reluctantly. "Thank you... For listening. And taking the matter seriously. And..." For offering to help. "Just... Thank you."

This may not be what these dreams are intended for, but Jon appreciates the chance Billy has given him to explain himself.

"Don't worry about it. I'm sorry we can't be friends like we might have been, but- that doesn't mean I'm just going to ignore you if you're hurting....Besides, you stopped me. You kept me from doing worse than I all ready did."

He doesn't know how he could have lived with himself if Jon hadn't stopped him when he did.

“Hm.” Jon replies, not entirely sure what to make of this entire situation now. It’s only bound to be awkward in the future, isn’t it? Especially if he shows up too regularly at the hospital once they are being left back into the city.

But Jon doesn’t feel like discussing the matter needlessly. There is no way to reason with Tommy and Billy can’t betray his brother, so there is nothing to be done, whether he likes it or not.

He lets out a sigh, then looks around.

“Maybe we can at least make some use of the time we have left here. I- I won’t be getting a chance to get to know or understand you or Tommy once this is over after all.”

"Mm," Billy nods thoughtfully, offering an apologetic sort of smile. "...What do you want to know?" he offers, shifting to sit cross legged and look properly to Jon. "I can show you whatever you want. Or you can roll the dice if you'd rather poke around yourself."

It doesn’t take Jon long to have a response for Billy.

“I originally hoped to learn more about the heroes of your world, but now I think I would rather hear about yourself. And your brother. You don’t have to answer if it’s too personal, but... You- You didn’t grow up together, if I understood Tommy correctly?”

"We didn't," Billy confirms, "We didn't really know about each other until we were sixteen." The exact details of that feel a little person to Tommy, but a small snippet of it plays out before them, the pair running face to face for the first time and the shocked reactions of all involved. The exact setting is purposefully kept vague, though it's clear Billy's in his superhero garb and Tommy is not.

"What were the people like you grew up with?" Jon keeps asking. He already knows a little about Tommy's background. Which isn't a very positive one. But Billy appears a lot more centered than his brother, so of course the Archivist is interested in what further differences are between these two - and where they stem from.

"Doctors. Mom's a psychologist, Dad's a cardiologist. They're...like picture perfect parents. It's-" He flushes, knowing how it sounds to dare to complain about that, "...it kind of makes for a lot of pressure? Not that they meant to...just- um...and I've got two little brothers...twins. They're annoying, but...sweet."

"And do you know why Tommy and you were separated as kids?" Obviously the people Billy grew up with could have afforded to take in both brothers.

Ooooh boy, this...is a complicated story.

"Um...okay, stick with me, 'cause this is kind of complicated. But um, the first time we were born, our mom- she was magic like me. She made us, using magic, and...um...soul fragments from-" Certain elements of the story play out, a silhouetted woman with red magic, twin babies, and then a terrifying figure that looks like some devil. "...-a demon," he finishes awkwardly, "He's kind of a big deal. Um...And so he...wanted those pieces back, and long story short, the kids were killed. But...we weren't destroyed. We were um...retroreincarnated. I was born with the Kaplans, and Tommy with the Shepherds. And we're older now, than we would have been, and it's whole...confusing mess. But...that's as much as we've been able to figure out.

Complicated, indeed. Jon simply stares at Billy, following his words and the pictures his tale summons into existence around them.

"...Jesus." He mutters once Billy explains their current existence. Having been created, then killed then... Billy's world certainly is a complicated one. And one where people don't stay dead.

"What- What do you mean by... Your mother was magic. Like you..." Billy is a person, isn't he?

"Like...all the stuff I do. She's got a similar sort of magic..." Billy answers, not quite getting Jon's real question in that moment. Billy's person-hood really depends on your definition of that makes someone a person. "And her brother's a speedster too...seems to be a family trait."

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