You can't hide from your problems | Calibrations

[wearingthestars]

WHO: Billy Kaplan, OPEN
WHERE: Billy's Calibration Room
WHAT: Calibrations
WHEN: 3 June - 10 June
WARNINGS: Potential Warnings for Violence, Depression, Death and Suicide, but also some happy things



The room you step into isn't all that different from Billy's actually room back home, for those that know it. It looks like the room of a typical nerdy teenager, walls adorned with posters of his favourite heroes, and a desk cluttered with unfinished homework. There's shelves with books, and assorted action figures, as well as a few old games- like operation, which don't seem to have gotten much attention lately, covered in a layer of dust.

Billy lays on his bed with an assortment of comics, reading through them, though when he glances up you might note that his eyes are wrong. All black with fields of stars, like you can see the depths of universe in them.

He curls a finger, and a box beneath the bed scoots further back into the darkness.

Comments

[wearingthestars]

"I appreciate it," he says, flushing a bit.

He looks pleased that Reeve agrees with him. For all he and Tony been through, Billy's been able to let the bad parts go, but he knows that's been harder for his brother. Tommy doesn't trust easy, and he regains lost trust even slower.


"I feel better with him here...I can handle things on my own, I'm...an adult now, I guess, but- having an adult I know I can count on...one from home, it's..."

[plate_builder]

Well, Reeve for one is smitten with Tony, not that it will get him anywhere.

"Nice," Reeve agrees, smiling. "Yes, I understand. It's true even for me, at my age. I've a companion this time, and someone I know I can trust implicitly. That sort fo thing matters when the world seems against you."

[wearingthestars]

"Yeah, that helps. I mean, I've got my friends. My brother, and my fiance, and there's...lots of other adults I trust, just...I dunno. It's just...reassuring?"

He sets his comic down, not sure how exactly he wound up talking when he was expressly trying not to. "...Go ahead and pick something. Maybe the way out will trigger once you do."

[plate_builder]

"Two memories are required? Alright then. What is something you feel you can share without upsetting yourself?"

If he's going to do this so he can leave, he doesn't want to upset the young man more than he msut.

[wearingthestars]

"Maybe? I'm not positive, but...one didn't seem to do it, so..."

He looks around the room, lingering on a few objects, like that dusty game on the shelf. "...I don't know what they all are, but...the hero stuff is probably safe. I think..."

[plate_builder]

"Well then, let's see what I find."

He moves to the shelf and lets his finger move over one that catches his attention, red and gold. Reminds him of Tony in a strange way.

[wearingthestars]

Strange, isn't it?

The scene shifts again, a group of dejected teens assembled outside of a wrecked up mansion, dressed in strange costumes, seeming fresh from a fight. In front of them stand a few of those heroes from Billy's walls, Captain America, Vision, a woman who used to be known as Jewel, and the Red and Gold Avenger himself, all of them likewise beat down.

"I should probably get home," one of the girls says, and a boy who clearly seems to be Billy agrees, removing a winged headpiece. "Me too."

"You mind flying me?" A large green figure asks, and Billy nods.

"Anybody else need a lift? Cassie?"

"Before you go...I need you to leave your gear with us. The bow, the shield, the throwing stars," Captain America instructs in that stern voice that defies refusal.

"But those are mine," a boy pleads, even as he hands them over.

"Not any more," Captain America says.

Billy sighs. "Come on guys, lets get out of here."

"We're doing the right thing..." Cap insists, turning to view the remaining Avengers as the kids turn away. "Aren't we?"

The others look back uncertainly, and while the memory is from Billy's point of view, looking back and not quite in focus, the now de-masked Iron Man sure does look awfully familiar...doesn't he?

[plate_builder]

"Tony?" Reeve asks, shocked when he sees the man. In red and gold armor? He laughs at the armor. Yes, he chose a good man to assist him.

"I see tehy didn't want you doing things. Because you're young?"

[wearingthestars]

Billy looks a bit anxious, but nods; he's outed Tony's identity twice now without meaning to.

"They'd lost a lot of people. They didn't want to lose us too," he explains. And looking back...they were so young, he's not sure he wouldn't do the same faced with those kids. "...Cass especially. Tony and her had a talk, she told us about it after. Her Dad was an Avenger, she grew up around them all, and- and he got...killed. By one of their team mates. Tony was scared of losing her...He kind of places the blame for these things on himself...even when he doesn't deserve it."

No, Billy doesn't see the parallel in that statement.

[plate_builder]

Well, Reeve wasn't going to say anything about that fact.

Still... Reeve can't say that he agrees.

"That does not mean that those who can should not act, just because they are young. One of my best friends that helped save the world? She was maybe sixteen at the time. And she lacked powers of your caliber."

[wearingthestars]

"They come around," he offers with a small smile, "We weren't super good at listening. But...they weren't entirely wrong either, so..."

There had been losses. Major losses.

[plate_builder]

"I understand them wanting to protect you. But it's your world too," Reeve muses. He's a man that is good at understanding opinions.

[wearingthestars]

"It is," he agrees, looking conflicted still. After all, for all they've helped, there's been more than a few times that he's nearly ended that world too.

"...I can make a door...if you want to go-" he offers softly.

[plate_builder]

Surely he's seen enough for there to be a door. And yet he hasn't bothered to look.

"If you need someone to talk to, I'm here. I may not understand, but I'll try and support."

[wearingthestars]

"...The girl from the memory...Cassie. She um...she dies. She gets killed because of me. I dragged everyone along, and then I did something stupid and-...I keep hurting the people I care about when I'm trying to do something good, and I'm scared Cap was right to stop us..."

[plate_builder]

Ah. Reeve sighs and looks up at the ceiling.

"One of my team passed away in our pursuit of saving the world," he says. "She was... young. And kind. And sweet. But she chose to put herself in the line of danger, and if anyone dared say that we were responsible, that she didn't choose the path she walked, she'd probably smack us with her staff."

[wearingthestars]

Billy breathes out a small, sad laugh. It's like he's describing Cassie. But it doesn't quite lessen that guilt.

"This wasn't world saving stuff. This was just...- I want to be better...for everyone. I want to be okay, but I don't know if I am..."

[plate_builder]

"Tell me, this Cassie. Did you know her well? What would she think about you blaming yourself?"

That really is the only question one can ask.

[wearingthestars]

"...She wouldn't want that," he mutters. It's not the first time he's been made to say it, but it never really seems to do much for that guilt. And it's not like that's the only person he's hurt...

[plate_builder]

"Did you force her to be wherever she as that day?"

[wearingthestars]

"...It was my idea. They tried to talk me out of it..." He didn't drag her kicking and screaming, he knows that.

"...I know I didn't...make it happen, but--" he trails off, "...I shouldn't be bothering you with this."

[plate_builder]

And yet they had joined him, by their own choice.

"What is the point of older people who have made mistakes if not to be an ear for those who are still young and need assured that their mistakes are just part of life. Part of growing? I've lost so many people thanks to my actions, that I know what it feels like. Surely offering my experience is something worth doing."

[wearingthestars]

"It's...different," Billy insists, "I should be able to fix it. I've got all this power, and I can't use it to help the people I love. Bad things keep happening, and I could literally will it not to be, but-..."

[plate_builder]

"Power is not always enough," Reeve challenges. "Politically, financially, and connections wise, there is no denying I am the most influential man in my world in some ways. But I can't use that to save the people I love either."

[wearingthestars]

It's not exactly the same, but Billy understands the sentiment, biting at his lip.

"...I know. It's just...hard. And people don't always understand when you can't- even if you want to- it...it doesn't work out..."