revivalproject | my tears are always frozen

Entry tags:

my tears are always frozen | calibration

WHO: Sansa Stark
WHERE: tunnels
WHAT: Calibrations
WHEN: 3 June - 10 June
WARNINGS: Sansa's memories include sexual assault and torture. If you do not wish to play that, do not choose the wedding gown prompt. The others are free from this.

Sansa knows of calibrations. She'd hoped to never experience the horror of her mind being on display for others but here she is again, stripped bare to be seen once more. She's terrified of it. There are those who know her darkest secrets, the ones she tries to keep buried, but more and more each day she meets people who don't know. People who might pity her if they knew. People who would see her as less because they know what she is and that she's a ghost of a woman sometimes.

There's a wedding gown split in two and marred by bright, crimson blood. There's a hunting knife that seems too modern for this sitting room of stone and glass. There's a pair of silken slippers, chewed a bit on the heels. There's a drawing of a girl and a wolf half-finished, as if the artist were pulled away by something else and hadn't had the time to return.

As she walks through her mind once again, she takes in these differences. There's a carved wooden throne with the direwolves of House Stark, a silver crown laying in the seat. There's a scroll undone, the words just enough to make out. The final thing in this room of note is golden ring with a lion's head, a ring she's not had in years. She wishes she had it now.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

"It's the hope of everyone good, I think. I've seen too much evil in the world to believe that all people are inherently good but I think I've gotten better at discerning the good from the bad. I hope that I am one of the good ones, too, but I would hope that someone would tell me if I were failing."

It feels strange to be on her throne again so Sansa rises, standing again so she isn't looking up at Cloud. Her eyes fall upon her wedding gown.

"Thank you for not touching that one. Those memories are painful and I don't want to remember them. I wish I could have them burned from my mind."

"You do pick up on the evil once you've seen it enough." Cloud had seen plenty of evil things. People playing dirty with other lives. Being fully in control of them by creating mass panic. He knew that someone powerful enough could endanger others or kill their familiar by playing their cards right. He looks at Sansa thoughtfully. "I think some of us need that reminder of what path we're on."

The mention of the wedding dress brings him back into the room. They were here touching memories.

"You're welcome. I have some memories of my own that I wish to not remember." Cloud presses his lips together. He knows that his memories mean something to him. It's who he is and he'll continue to have them so he'll never have that particular fear again.

"Perhaps someday it's a story I can share. I've had it unwillingly shared through one of these calibrations before," Sansa explains. "And while the man who saw it was one of my dearest friends, it was still painful to relive it. There are things that may purify us as silver is purified in the crucible but they often aren't pleasant."

There is nothing pleasant about that wedding night or the year that followed. Still, she'd risen up as herself and become who she needed to be.

"I wish I knew more about you, though. You've the advantage of me now."

"If you want to share." Cloud wouldn't let her do if it made her that uncomfortable. He has plenty of memories he could keep buried.

He looks around at the items in the room. "I don't have to keep touching." But talking? He'll have to adjust a little.

"I don't mind sharing some of these memories. They have good things in them and sometimes remembering is nice. This time, it's easier. The first time I went through a calibration it was difficult to have people go through my mind and learn things I didn't want to tell them. I feel a little better about it now," she explains.

"Where do you come from, Cloud? You know a bit about the North and of Westeros but I don't know anything about where you come from and what it's like there. I'd like to learn."

He can't help but smile a little at that. Cloud understands that feeling quite well. "You'll soon realize that I'm not one for talking." His mind space though could be once he realizes he can trust them.

"I come from a backwater town called Nibelheim. Not so much out there but there's plenty of mountain trails. After I was old enjoy to join the Shinra army I did. I didn't want to work in the city like everyone else." He walks over towards the throne. "I come from a world that had a lot but lost a lot. It still has to be rebuilt."

"I can understand this. My kingdom has lost so much and bears the scars of it but we're working hard to rebuild it. Perhaps yours can rebuild too and one day you'll have people who think of your hardships as history and not reality."

When he talks of joining the army, Sansa's interest is piqued. "My brother Jon joined the Watch when he was younger. He wanted to be away from home and do something of worth. He was a soldier - is a soldier. He'll always have that part of him.

"Nibelheim is gone to me, a hometown that has a lot of memories. Midgar took a giant hit and those that survived after that built a city past sectors 3 and 4. The new city name is Edge. But we're currently facing something else from the aftermath of what happened to Midgar. I'm Cloud gives a shrug though since he wants her to understand that a city was in fact rebuilt. It's still being rebuilt in other ways. Shinra needs a lot of support and it'll be hard for them to get that. The people wouldn't trust them as much as they would trust the people that saved the Planet.

"I joined so I could become a SOLDIER in the Shinra army. They're basically seen as heroes. It's what you read in papers. I never made it that far."

"We call them knights where I'm from. They get titles and some of them get lands," Sansa explains. "They compete in tourneys and fight in wars and some of them guard queens like me. They can become infamous, if they're talented enough and end up in the right place at the right time."

Sansa smiles just a bit. "Maybe we need someone like you here, then. I'm certainly not a fighter."

Cloud wonders if that would be the role fitting for him in her world. It sounds like knights would be the heroes. He glances downward to the floor. "It's different where I'm from. SOLDIERs don't exist anymore to protect the city. My friends and I do have that kind of strength to lend." He does, but what is he without a weapon?

"I heard the Agrii don't really like weapons and I'm a swordsman without a sword." Cloud's fit to escape and do hand to hand combat but he would prefer to use a sword or a wooden baseball bat.

"They don't like weapons, no. A friend of mine had knives once but we bought them planetside," Sansa explains. "And we didn't use them to hurt one another, only to train, so it wasn't illegal. It wasn't with the Agrii, though, it was with the Atroma and the ships. I don't know what the Agrii think about it."

If Sansa can get a knife just to practice, she could keep her skills up and not lose what she'd learned from James.

"I wouldn't use it against someone. Only against a potential threat. But from the sounds of it. That doesn't seem to be the actual threat here." Cloud hadn't got to ask this question. He wanted to explore the area of city get a way of the land.

"What do the storms actually do?"

"They're made of electricity," Sansa says. "And I confess I don't know much about that. I know it works our lights and things but other than that, I don't know. They tell us the storms are dangerous to be in so we head to the ships when they happen. Or, apparently, in here."

Cloud shuts his eyes since he's not about to bring up the topic that the planet energy is what makes everything work. It doesn't make a lot of sense to him yet. He can guess that any of the powered items is coming from the planet itself.

"How are they dangerous? What makes them so special from any other storm?"

"I'm not certain. I'm really never the person to ask about these things because my world calls everything it can't explain magic and declares it unknowable or false," she explains.

"So I've never been taught to be inquisitive about these kinds of things. I'm a queen and a politician but I don't know anything about how these storms come to be and how they are dangerous - only that they are. I'm sorry I can't be more help."

"I come from a world where they make something from the planet energy to be able to cast magic. We call it Materia." Cloud looks at Sansa. She could tell him anything about magic and he wouldn't deny it as false. There could be something to the storms.

"It's alright. You have provided me with other information that I didn't know about. I will come your way about politics." He knows how to blow stuff up and his group got labeled as terrorists. He's not going to say that though. Cloud wouldn't know anything about that playing field or how to even approach it. He's a fighter.

"Well, if there's politics to be had, I'm the Queen to ask them about. I don't think we've any other queens here in Temba."

Sansa mostly just thinks of herself as another person, someone who works hard to contribute to the society they've built here as much as anyone else, but deep down she cannot stop being Queen in the North. Nothing can take that from her even if it's not relevant here.

"The idea of being able to cast magic is...fascinating, though. We have Red Priestesses who do it through the power of their god. I don't know if it's a trick or not but it looks impressive."

"I haven't came across anyone else that's royalty." He's been in a few rooms already. Cloud thought it might have been too much but perhaps he could easily move in and out. It could mean something else altogether. If anything he's making connections a little bit at a time.

"We use something called Materia. We put it within our weapons and armor to create a way for magic abilities or immunities to happen. A blade could become useful against a creature weak against fire if it's been equipped properly to dish out ice attacks." He looks at Sansa. "The Materia is created by the life force of the Planet. We call it the Lifestream."

"Materia," Sansa says, repeating it. If they'd had such a thing at the Battle of Winterfell, perhaps less people would have been injured or died. Flaming swords had done little against the dead but it seems as if this Materia might be stronger than oil and fire.

"It sounds as if you could defeat any enemy with something so powerful. But you draw it from the place you live. Is it infinite or does it run out? You'd have to be careful if it's the latter."

The Materia of their world can be used to cure injuries but not fatal ones. Sometimes a revive wouldn't be possible. Cloud gives a nod to Sansa because they could defeat any enemy if they planned right. Materia had all sorts of usage too.

"It gets created, Materia are in a form of orbs. They actually grow stronger with use. Once they reach a certain level they create a new one. They don't exactly stop working but you may not have enough magic power to keep them going." Even if it may seem endless the user may grow tired or run out of mana. Cloud could do all sorts of sword tricks, Materia gave him an edge. "Better to be careful of anything you're using. It's not just the materia that can take down enemies. But what you can do with it."

"And any weapon in the wrong hands can be a death sentence. My sister could probably kill a man with her bare hands. I can barely do it with a knife. It depends on how you use it."

She supposes that's in all things, magic or not. Sansa still privately thinks she'd be better at magic than physical things, though, and wonders if it's something she'd ever be able to take back home with her.

"I think you use it the right way, don't you? You don't seem like someone to hurt people."

Cloud knows what she is talking about. He could wield swords when he had been trained in rifles and batons. But there's before his very long story if Sansa encounters it.

"I joined the Shinra army to be a hero. I wanted to be a SOLDIER. I only ended up being an Infantryman within the Public Security Defense. We didn't hurt people we tried to keep the peace within the city of Midgar." He looks at Sansa. "I do not wish to hurt or harm any more people. I know that choices can cause outcomes of that nature."

Cloud could work alone but he knows he could venture into the darkness and get lost. Cloud found his way out of it already and he doesn't want to go back that way.

"Sometimes we're cornered into choices we don't want to make," Sansa says softly. She knows more than enough about that. Cloud reminds her just a bit of Jon, wanting to make something of himself by going to the Wall, and they both share a serious countenance.

"My brother wanted to do that. He went to a place called the Wall and fought Wildlings, kept them from coming into the North and sacking our castles. He could have been so much more than that but he was content...with just that. He ended up a hero but Jon isn't someone who wants glory. Not anymore."

"It sounds as if he achieved his dreams but didn't go any further." Cloud frowns while looking at Sansa. "I never reached that dream, I never would make it into the papers as a hero." It sounds so silly to say out loud to someone that he doesn't know. But she seems willing to want to hear stories or seems to care about his story.

"I failed in the exam to become a SOLDIER. You can't have all strength. They test you on your mental will. The mako energy they infuse into you can make you go crazy." Yet, Cloud has that mako energy within him, his eyes are that proof. "All I can and want to do is protect people. Fight for them when the time is needed. Be there for my friends when they need me."

"That's my brother. He just wants to protect friends and family," Sansa says. "He has no desire for ambition or greatness. It's sort of good, in a way. Too many men have ambition after winning a war but no idea how to lead. Winning is easy. Governing is hard, I'm afraid."

Sansa likes to think she's good at it but good is in the eye of the beholder.

"You're a good man, though, to want to protect others. It's hard to put that talent toward shielding others and not just yourself."

my tears are always frozen | calibration

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