revivalproject

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[Lookie here, it's Tommy, looking shaken as hell. Makes sense, he's lost more of his people recently and he's NOT doing okay. So you know what that means! Tommy needs a fucking project, and he thinks he's moving on pretty well with the one he's got.]

Yo. So know how I was looking for help making some sorta hydroponics shit in the hangars of at least the Twin Roses and possibly some other ships if people want it? Think I've found people to help me make it. Just...

Turns out we need parts. And one of the dudes helping me? He's stuffy and NOT cool with me taking things out of abandoned buildings if they can be salvaged and lots of other shit and well, anyway some of the stuff we'll need is apparently small and custom.

So basically I'm supposed to ask if, seeing as that replicator thing is now here and all that shit, people might be willing to help out by donating a replication or two a month to helping us replicate packages of the small parts that are important for the drip irrigation something or other thingamabob.

Think about it, bros and bros who aren't amab or who are agender and fuck backtrack need something better. Okay, think about it my fellow kidnapees. Fresh produce. On ship. Whenever they kidnap us.

Hell, I'll even tend it when we're not on ships. If you want your ship to have a hydroponics thing. Just let me in once a 60hr cycle and I'll fucking tend the hell out of those bitches.

Anyway. Uh, call me?

[And he shuts the thing off before he can sound stupider. Dammit!]

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[And yet, it had happened. And Tommy doesn't want to talk about it. Just wants to curl up on himself and deal with this for a while. Which Billy doesn't seem to want to let him do.]

Things happen. Shit happens. The world fucking happens and you're alone and trying to do shit right and you fuck it up. Story of Tommy Shepherd. Print and and send it to the presses.

[Billy does let off a little, releasing him from the hug, but he's convinced being there for him is what he should be doing.]

Tommy- ...people are going to get mad sometimes, it's okay. It doesn't mean you messed up.

[Oh, in this case he actively did, but Tommy's done talking about it.]

Thanks for the offer of your replicator uses. I won't need it. So, like, make dinner for you and Teddy or some shit.

[Billy blinks a little, but nods uncertainly.]

I...okay. You...want to be alone?

[He wants to lie and say yes. Because that's the Tommy Shepherd thing to do. Accept the distance people put between themselves and him. But... he promised Billy and Teddy, right? Maybe not out loud, but he promised that he'd meet them half way. That he'd communicate.]

No.

[Billy gives a soft sigh. He's glad Tommy's been trying, really. But it's difficult to know what to do when he's pushing him away with one hand and pulling him close with the other.]

Did I ever show you the one I was trying to make? It didn't...work out super well, but I was so sure I was going to figure it out eventually and get to impress you.

[The one what Billy was trying to make? Tommy looks up at him in confusion, and then he looks up at Billy with shock and... Wow.]

You did that? For me?

[He flushes a little and tries to shrug off that look.]

I mean...I tried. I've been trying for a while. Since you first mentioned wanting one way but...I didn't want to just magic it. Even with the engineering data point though I was never really able to figure it out to a point where it actually worked right.

[No, don't shrug it off. The only other person who made something for him that wasn't just because they wanted him to be a hero was Vision. And that had been a painting. This mattered. This was important. His brother tried to make something not because they could all use it. He did it FOR Tommy.]

Fuck, man, that's... A lot. Thank you. I... People don't do that for me.

[He defintely tries to again, but hesitates, seeing that this is clearly important to Tommy, even if he can't quite understand why.]

I uh...you're welcome? It's...it didn't even work. But...yeah, I wanted to.

[Oh Billy, you really don't understand how much the little things matter. Like how that's actually a really big thing, and it gets repaid with really big.]

How... much have I told you about Frank Shepherd?

[He really doesn't, and he still looks a little quietly confused to have found this way in when he wasn't looking for one.]

Not...too much. [It's more been impressions. Billy knows he doesn't generally like to talk about him.]

[Tommy HATES to talk about the Shepherds. All three of them. Himself included.]

You're mom is a shrink. What would she tell you to suspect about parents whose kid was in and out of juvie and who never came to visit after a place like super juvie?

[What would they say to suspect about a guy that ate everything ultra fast in case food was taken away from him. Or about a guy that refused to talk about them or go home? What would they say about a kid who would rather live on the streets of New York than let Vision 2.0 help him call his family?]

[Billy knows exactly the sort of things she's suspect, though his gaze skirts away, not really prepared to say any of it aloud.]

...that's why she wanted you to stay with us.

I stayed with you because I didn't have anywhere to go. Frank and Mary never wanted me. I learned that really early on. And your parents didn't seem like the 'shout at the kid and maybe smack him around' types.

[He winces a little, but nods.]

Yeah, they uh...they didn't do that kind of thing...

[Don't walk away, Billy. He doesn't TALK about this. You have to accept this moment of openness if you want others.]

He'd... he'd just shout at me. Lay into me about all the little things I'd done wrong. Even if it was a mistake. Even if I apologized. That's... what happened here.

[He's not going any where.]

You know that's not-...right, right? Now, I mean? I know I can't really even imagine how that would...mess you up, but... that's not how a parent's supposed to behave.

Yeah, I know it's fucked up and I never should have let it happen.

[Of course Tommy blames himself. He's fought fucking SUPER VILLAINS and he couldn't take care of himself. He pulls on Billy's arm to get his brother to sit next to him. Please. He can't handle having to look up.]

They didn't want me. They told me that. To my face. Doesn't make what they did to me easier. Fuck, I could go toe to toe with the Super Skrull my first night out of the joint, in effectively pajamas, but when someone starts shouting like that, telling me everything I did wrong in every little detail and how it ruined THEIR time...

[He's just a scared little boy cowering in the corner.]

They never should have let it happen.

[Billy corrects as he sits again, settling close and frowning softly.]

It's a trigger, I get it. It's...a trauma response, your body does it automatically.

[And who, exactly, were the they here? Because Tommy sure didn't know. Tommy leans over against his brother, putting his head against Billy's shoulder.]

I don't like it. I really don't like it. But all I could do was shut down.

[The Shepherds. All the damn adults that had passed through his life. Wanda...or Billy...whoever's magic was responsible for them being alive again. There's a lot of people.

Billy leans back, and tries to take slow breaths for his brother to mirror.]

I know. It sucks. But...it'll end. Just...breathe for a bit, and we'll get through it, okay? It'll pass.

[The breaths help. Tommy just closes his eyes and focuses on them. Billy keeps the strangest time compared to the racing pace that was Tommy's resting pulse.]

I don't like being weak. He made me weak and I hate it.

You're not weak, Tommy. It's not weak to feel this way. It takes...so much more strength than people know.

[Tommy sure doesn't know. He hasn't figured it out. For him it's been more than years. It's been LIFETIMES of experience since then. And still, that sort of shouting from an older man, in THAT specific way? Yep. Kid Tommy scared of shadows all over again.]

I could BLOW UP A BUILDING. This isn't fair. That he still gets to haunt mw.

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