revivalproject

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[Lookie here, it's Tommy, looking shaken as hell. Makes sense, he's lost more of his people recently and he's NOT doing okay. So you know what that means! Tommy needs a fucking project, and he thinks he's moving on pretty well with the one he's got.]

Yo. So know how I was looking for help making some sorta hydroponics shit in the hangars of at least the Twin Roses and possibly some other ships if people want it? Think I've found people to help me make it. Just...

Turns out we need parts. And one of the dudes helping me? He's stuffy and NOT cool with me taking things out of abandoned buildings if they can be salvaged and lots of other shit and well, anyway some of the stuff we'll need is apparently small and custom.

So basically I'm supposed to ask if, seeing as that replicator thing is now here and all that shit, people might be willing to help out by donating a replication or two a month to helping us replicate packages of the small parts that are important for the drip irrigation something or other thingamabob.

Think about it, bros and bros who aren't amab or who are agender and fuck backtrack need something better. Okay, think about it my fellow kidnapees. Fresh produce. On ship. Whenever they kidnap us.

Hell, I'll even tend it when we're not on ships. If you want your ship to have a hydroponics thing. Just let me in once a 60hr cycle and I'll fucking tend the hell out of those bitches.

Anyway. Uh, call me?

[And he shuts the thing off before he can sound stupider. Dammit!]

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[Oh Billy, you really don't understand how much the little things matter. Like how that's actually a really big thing, and it gets repaid with really big.]

How... much have I told you about Frank Shepherd?

[He really doesn't, and he still looks a little quietly confused to have found this way in when he wasn't looking for one.]

Not...too much. [It's more been impressions. Billy knows he doesn't generally like to talk about him.]

[Tommy HATES to talk about the Shepherds. All three of them. Himself included.]

You're mom is a shrink. What would she tell you to suspect about parents whose kid was in and out of juvie and who never came to visit after a place like super juvie?

[What would they say to suspect about a guy that ate everything ultra fast in case food was taken away from him. Or about a guy that refused to talk about them or go home? What would they say about a kid who would rather live on the streets of New York than let Vision 2.0 help him call his family?]

[Billy knows exactly the sort of things she's suspect, though his gaze skirts away, not really prepared to say any of it aloud.]

...that's why she wanted you to stay with us.

I stayed with you because I didn't have anywhere to go. Frank and Mary never wanted me. I learned that really early on. And your parents didn't seem like the 'shout at the kid and maybe smack him around' types.

[He winces a little, but nods.]

Yeah, they uh...they didn't do that kind of thing...

[Don't walk away, Billy. He doesn't TALK about this. You have to accept this moment of openness if you want others.]

He'd... he'd just shout at me. Lay into me about all the little things I'd done wrong. Even if it was a mistake. Even if I apologized. That's... what happened here.

[He's not going any where.]

You know that's not-...right, right? Now, I mean? I know I can't really even imagine how that would...mess you up, but... that's not how a parent's supposed to behave.

Yeah, I know it's fucked up and I never should have let it happen.

[Of course Tommy blames himself. He's fought fucking SUPER VILLAINS and he couldn't take care of himself. He pulls on Billy's arm to get his brother to sit next to him. Please. He can't handle having to look up.]

They didn't want me. They told me that. To my face. Doesn't make what they did to me easier. Fuck, I could go toe to toe with the Super Skrull my first night out of the joint, in effectively pajamas, but when someone starts shouting like that, telling me everything I did wrong in every little detail and how it ruined THEIR time...

[He's just a scared little boy cowering in the corner.]

They never should have let it happen.

[Billy corrects as he sits again, settling close and frowning softly.]

It's a trigger, I get it. It's...a trauma response, your body does it automatically.

[And who, exactly, were the they here? Because Tommy sure didn't know. Tommy leans over against his brother, putting his head against Billy's shoulder.]

I don't like it. I really don't like it. But all I could do was shut down.

[The Shepherds. All the damn adults that had passed through his life. Wanda...or Billy...whoever's magic was responsible for them being alive again. There's a lot of people.

Billy leans back, and tries to take slow breaths for his brother to mirror.]

I know. It sucks. But...it'll end. Just...breathe for a bit, and we'll get through it, okay? It'll pass.

[The breaths help. Tommy just closes his eyes and focuses on them. Billy keeps the strangest time compared to the racing pace that was Tommy's resting pulse.]

I don't like being weak. He made me weak and I hate it.

You're not weak, Tommy. It's not weak to feel this way. It takes...so much more strength than people know.

[Tommy sure doesn't know. He hasn't figured it out. For him it's been more than years. It's been LIFETIMES of experience since then. And still, that sort of shouting from an older man, in THAT specific way? Yep. Kid Tommy scared of shadows all over again.]

I could BLOW UP A BUILDING. This isn't fair. That he still gets to haunt mw.

I know... I know it's not fair.

[Billy wishes he knew all the right things to say. He knows bits and pieces, but he's sure someone who was properly trained like his mother would know just what to say to make things right.]

[Don't worry, it's helping anyway. Tommy's just... he's never spoken about it before, except to Vision.]

So I ruined the project for Wanda. And Lorna's gone. And the world just sucks.

...Nothing's ruined, Tommy. We'll figure it out.

[Because that at least is something he can help with. Kind of. Lorna, not so much, and the World, well...that's a bit beyond him right now.]

[If it's a bit beyond Billy, it's leagues beyond Billy.]

Hey... about Stark... does... he not know about Cassie? Because the asshole keeps mentioning her.

[That hadn't helped.]

[Billy winces a little, but shakes his head.]

I don't think so. He's from before all that. And...I definitely don't want to tell him that if we don't have to. They were close too.

[He gets that. It's just... worse, knowing in some ways Tony's responsible too. It makes him angry. All Tommy can do right now, though, is breathe.]

I hate this. I hate all of this.

I know...it can be hard to talk about her, but...maybe Tony being around could be good? He's known her longer than any of us. It could be good to talk about maybe...

[Tommy snorts at the idea of Tony being around being good.]

After what he did to everyone with the Civil War? After what he did to you? No. I don't trust him.

This Tony hasn't done that. And...everyone made stupid choices during Civil War. Cap...Tony...all them. I still trust him.

[Tommy disagrees. He made perfect fucking choices. Until, you know, letting Billy out of his sight. Whoops.]

He made horrible choices about mom.

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