revivalproject | Who Needs Sleep

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Who Needs Sleep

WHO: Tommy Shepherd, Billy Hargrove, Open
WHERE: Temba Greenhouse, Temba Diner, Temba Area
WHAT: Searching for Billy Kaplan
WHEN: First Day back on Temba, through all of February
WARNINGS: cw: abandonment issues, possible borderline self destructive behavior (in a physical sense)

I. Wearing Out Shoe Leather | Open

At first he let himself believe the absence wasn't an absence so much as the worst form of hide and seek ever. It would be just like his brother to do something like that after all. To have his communication device away from him, or to be talking to the Agrii and not looking it over, or maybe just his brother being temporarily unavailable. Hell, Tommy had even gone down into the under areas of engineering to try and check the tubes there.

And now that he was back on the surface of Temba, well, he was no longer having any damn fun with this game. Because... Because it needs to be okay.

Otherwise...

No. No, he's not going to think about the otherwise, alright? Instead there's a blur of speed throughout all of Temba. It stops here and there, like a humming bird flitting from flower to flower for food. Stops are brief, either to whip up a quick meal in the diner, or to search delicately through plants and trees and fragile ruins. All the while his voice tears through the air, calling the same series of names over and over, seeking, hoping, unable to give up.

"Billy! Billiam! Wiccan! Punk! Where are you?!"

Don't let him be alone. Please, don't... Don't let him be alone again.

II. Comfort In You | Closed to Billy Hargrove

He's tired. So tired. How long had it been since he'd eaten? Since he'd slept? Tommy frankly doesn't know. What he does know is that he goes to the only place that feels safe in his undeniable despair. On some level he remembers the feeling of sand on his bare feet, the result of him running enough to run his shoes to pieces. He remembers the door. Pushing it open. Moving to the bed. Collapsing onto it with a pathetic noise that he'll never admit he made.

Safe. His mind says he's safe. That Billy will be here, sooner or later. Not the one he sought. The other one. The one who will hold him and tell him he's not alone. That he won't be alone. Even if he was. Even if he had lost the other part of his soul (part of the other part of his soul), he would still have someone who cared.

So he needed this.

III. Burning the All Hours Oil | Open

Who needed sleep anyway? There was this whole fucking world to explore. Things to be done. Places to clean up or restore. Plants to be tended. The plants still needed him. People still needed him for food, right? Right. Yeah.

That's why it's three in the morning and he's hand examining every plant in the cumato area, checking the budding leaves for health. Nearby a few Funfronds seem to linger, trying to get his attention with their dancing, but he ignores them. Just focuses as he moves slowly from plant to plant. From spot in the soil to spot in the soil.

HE's been here for hours. Before this he'd been in the diner and cleaned every last surface and every last utensil. Before that it had been dusting in the Civics Center. Before that catching lobsters on the beach. Before that...

God he can't even remember. Hours were blurring together, as much because of his powers as because he was losing himself. His focus, his drive. Strange to think a lot more of it had depended on one person than he was prepared for. Two people now.

But the sleepiness is not good for him, clearly. Because the second he hears someone approaching he flinches. And flinching from a speedster isn't good. Why? Because between one moment and the next he's no longer standing where he was. He's several feet back, a trowel held up before him like it was a weapon meant to defend himself. His eyes are blurry, red from crying, and definitely not entirely there. Like he's lost.

Maybe he is.

"What do you want?" he snaps when he realizes it isn't danger that's facing him.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Luckily for Tommy, Billy's home. There's smoke curling up from the smokestack, and a couple of candle illuminating the window to indicate that. The axe is outside drying, with a bloody cloth and some toxic looking thing sitting in the sand away from the door. When Tommy enters - good to know the rock holding the door firmly shut doesn't work on him and only lobsters - Billy's only wearing his jeans and squatted in front of the fireplace.

In it, on what looks like a pan of scrap metal, cooks a lobster, already opened to get the glands out. But the speedster is more important than watching his food cook and he walks over as soon as he hears that noise. It means Something Is Wrong.

"Babe, what's wrong?" The bed dips under his added weight.

They say that a burden shared was a burden halved. Strange how this one Tommy was certain would be an inescapable weight, even if shared. But there was still a weight at his side, and that could mean one thing.

He didn't have to be alone.

"He's gone," Tommy's voice said weakly, mumbled into a pillow.

Billy doesn’t know how to comfort people well. Neil never did it for his mom, and she left. He does know that Tommy would probably appreciate that he tried, like he did the last time Tommy came to the beach house from a nightmare.

He leans over, trying to catch what was said, but it’s muffled. Damn. Whatever‘s going on is serious. Too cold to take him out to the beach like last time.

"I didn’t catch what you said with your head buried in my pillow. Wanna sit in front of the fireplace and tell me? I’ll share my lobster with you."

Does he have to move? Lift his head? Exist? Tommy groans and turns his head just far enough to the side to be heard.

"He's gone. Billy. My brother."

Hargrove likes that you exist, so yeah, gotta keep existing. For now, he stretches out on his side with his head propped up by one arm and hand. Leans a little to rest a careful hand on Tommy's shoulder. All of his actions are a little hesitant because he's not sure and he doesn't want to get tipped the wrong way and lash out.

He feels his heart dip a little. Kaplan was gone? While Hargrove had his own... reservations he was melting from last year about Kaplan, he knew how much the guy meant to Tommy. Close sibling bond or something. The lean turns into him laying on his stomach bumped up against his boyfriend. "Maybe it's not a permanent thing? Max says she gets sent to do things for the aliens a lot."

The hand on Tommy's shoulder moves to his back, rubbing up and down. He takes in the rest of the guy's look and frowns.

"Babe, where are your shoes at?"

Meant this had to be rough for Tommy if he wasn't even wearing his shoes.

"It'll last," Tommy predicts. Because that's how his life goes. People leave, and they don't come back. And Billy's going back to a time in their lives where they were barely connected, by Billy's own choice. Which perhaps hurts even more.

As for the question of shoes, he lifts his eyes just enough to look down at his feet. And shrugs.

"Had them on when I started searching. Probably destroyed them."

"You don't know that," he snaps back immediately with more of a tone than he should take. He softens it as he continues with, "I thought Max was gone a lot and she was back in the span of a month or two. You don't know if your brother isn't coming back Tommy."

The hand stops moving, disappearing along with Billy as he gets up. "Don't move from that spot." There's some moving around, getting a bowl and a towel before he disappears into the small bathroom. When he comes back, the bowl is filled with hot water and he sits down again to pull one of those feet into his lap.

Carefully, he starts picking out rubble and cleaning the dirt. Billy remembers the care Tommy showed his own feet the fateful night he had gone to the diner barefoot after a nightmare. Clean feet had to be a speedster thing.

With a small huff of amusement, he pulls the leftover neck of a sock off to throw to the side. "Yeah, I think this pair of socks is done, too."

Of course he isn't going to move from this spot. He feels so very, very tired. Weak. Lonely. Broken. He's going to stay here. Except then Billy goes and Tommy keens in desperation and fear, reaching weakly for him. It's really a good thing that Billy comes back so soon. It means Tommy doesn't freak out and seek him further.

And then Billy's... taking care of him. So gently. So tenderly. Tommy can't help but cry a little. Silently, thankfully.

"Guess I ruined them. God, without him here I'm going to have to put my bulk replicator ration to shoes if I can."

Billy misses the noise that Tommy made when he left to get the water. And right now, he’s focused on getting those feet clean. Once he’s done with one foot, onto the next. He glances to his boyfriend with a silent frown.

"I’ll get you shoes from the replicator. I haven’t been smoking as much since Tae gets me lollipops. Only when I’m massively stressed." Like Tommy is now. Little pebbles hit the floor as Billy works them out of those feet. Once both are clean, he gives both a little rub and gently pats Tommy’s calf.

"I got some lobster done up. Lemme wash my hands and I’ll get you a portion of it," he says with a tone that says he’s not going to compromise on Tommy not eating what he offers.

"I go through shoes way faster than you think, without them being made for my biology," Tommy grumbles, but he does roll onto his side a bit.

"You don't have to take care of me. Just... be here. Exist."

"And? I didn’t stutter, babe." He goes to the fireplace, picking up a little piece of rebar to poke t the fire and lobster before using the stick to pull out the little tray it was on.

A side glance. "Shut up. If you ran so much your shoes and socks are gone, you’re gonna be hungry. I want to take care of you. Let me do that."

The lobster fizzles and smells pretty good, and Billy gets it onto a plate. "You don’t have to leave the bed but you’re gonna let me take care of you while you need it." And he heads back over to sit on the bed with the food.

Take care of him. Tommy sits up a little just to look at the other guy. No one really takes care of Tommy. Not even his brother. This is... new.

"Maybe I should just suck it up and deal," he challenges. Because he needs to push back a little. He needs to be sure Billy isn't going to think he's weak for this.

This is what Billy figured boyfriends did. The amount of times Tommy helped and took care of him was more than it reversed. He portions the meat on the plate, giving a bigger portion on Tommy’s side.

"Deal with me taking care of you? Yeah, you’ll deal with that. You’re allowed to be upset about your brother but that doesn’t mean I can’t look after you while you can’t." He holds the dish out towards Tommy. "Now you can eat this there or you can come cuddle with me and eat it."

That was a fair point. And when Tommy was more in his right mind he might even agree with it. But right now he's definitely not anywhere right mind.

"Okay," he says, his voice soft as he sits up. But he doesn't go to cuddle. Not yet. Instead he considers the lobster.

"Why did you go hunting?"

"There you go. Eat up. I can go get another if you need more. Don’t have a lot of seasonings left but I can make it work." He gently sets the plate into Tommy’s lap and rubs that same hand up and down his boyfriend‘s back.

"Got a little hungry but didn’t want to walk to the diner. These guys like to roam around and he looked at me funny."

Tommy should bring him seasonings. He's only supposed to show up with gifts. He told himself he was going to shower his boyfriend with gifts.

Now the promise to take care of him feels so much different.

"Thank you," he says at last. He was hungry. He should take this without hesitation.

Billy loves that his boyfriend comes out as far as he does. It’s a gift in itself. That hand does t stop moving, just rubbing up and down in a consistent rhythm. "Eat up babe and thank me afterwards if it tastes okay."

He leans over to press a lingering kiss to Tommy’s temple. "I’m not going anywhere tonight, babe. I promise. After you eat up, you can go shower and come back to bed to cuddle?"

Not going anywhere. He can't promise that. They don't get to make the choices. Tommy bites his lip to keep from crying again.

"My feet are sore," he confesses after a bit. So yeah, no shower. It's too far of a run.

They don’t but for tonight, he wasn’t leaving the beach house. Another kiss and he gets off the bed to squat front of Tommy. "I’ll be right back. Gonna get your feet right again. Not leaving this house, got it?"

He lets a hand rub over Tommy’s knee before he gets back up, going to gather a small pot and disappears into the bathroom. Long enough to fill it with water and come right back out. The pot gets put over the fire, heating up those contents. In that time, Billy stays in view of Tommy. The towel from earlier gets folded and then he fetches a second one from the nightstand. It’s been awhile since he’s needed to wipe the sweat from a nightmare away, so… it clean enough. Passable.

A check on the water and it’s transferred to a bowl. Back over to his boyfriend, the blond sits back down on the floor. The towels go in and soon enough, he’s wrapping one around a foot and the other gets the same treatment. "Not too hot is it? Should help the soreness. Gotta keep a speedster‘s feet feeling good."

Tommy doesn't agree aloud, but he also doesn't move. WEll, beyond trying to eat. It's hard to do what when your stomach is upset from stress.

"Oh," he says when Billy is done with the wrapping. "Yeah, that... That feels nice. I never thought of that before."

Billy tucks in corners to fasten the towels as best he can, then sets aside the bowl in the bedside table to deal with later. In the morning. Whenever. Tommy got his attention for now.

"Used to do it at night when I ran too long and made my feet sore." When he’d run away in the middle of the night only to go back, defeated. Billy returns to his spot on the bed, pressed to Tommy’s side. "Tell me about everything. Get it off your chest about your brother and I’ll help you feel better."

Or so Billy would hope.

"He's gone," Tommy whispers out, and he sounds so broken. "He's a part of me. At my core. We're... And he's just gone."

How do you even explain the way they are connected? A way only Tommy seems to feel?

Kaplan wasn't around. Gone? Billy frowns at the thought. He knows that the connection the twins has is... complicated to understate it. Part of each other by souls halved or something. Instead of going to Tommy's back again, the hand closest goes to rest on the guy's forearm.

"I'm sorry, Tommy. I know you two were really fucking close."

Billy didn't know what to do. You can't damp, hot towels around a broken heart, or feed it green lobsters. "I know that's probably a gross understatement because you mentioned vaguely about being two pieces of a soul... or something. I think you were trying to protect what bit of brain hadn't been rotted away by the sun."

Tommy was way too tired to fully put together just what Billy was saying. He was so tired, so worn out. But he doesn't really comment on it as much.

"He went home. If he went... If he went home, then he goes back to a time where I mean nothing to him. When he ignores me."

"Here," Billy gently eases the fork from the other’s hand to spear a small bite of the lobster. Then he leads it up to Tommy’s mouth for him to eat.

There’s a somber look. "What if that’s not true? Maybe he’ll come back from a different point where he knows you like he knows you here, close like the sand and water on the Cali coast?"

Comfort in You

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