Cal Kestis (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
out_of_order) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
revivalproject2020-02-22 09:28 pm
out_of_order) wrote in revivalproject2020-02-22 09:28 pm
A Path Forward (OPEN LOG)
WHO: Cal Kestis and you!
WHERE: Around Temba
WHAT: Exploring, reflection and maybe get to know who all else is around...ish
WHEN: Post-initial storm-event things and maybe into early next month
WARNINGS: None..? Will edit if needs be
It had been days, weeks, even, since he'd attempted to brave the storm. He wasn't sure if anyone else who'd gone out there had learned anything, but it was clear at the very least that it was completely different from anything he'd ever seen or experienced. Part of him still felt like he was recovering from it, but Cal was pretty sure that it probably just compiled with everything else he'd mentally pushed aside. Seeing familiar figures in the storm hadn't helped at all.
His connection to the Force had restored itself, much to his relief. He wasn't even sure what to make of that, save that the storm had something to do with it. That was also unsettling to think about, and it put the potential danger of these storms in a new light. If it could do something like that, what else could it do?
There were too many questions and little enough answers. With the need to keep busy somehow, Cal and BD-1 wandered the ruined city, building off what had been supplied as a map, trying to make sense of whatever the Agrii had tried to clarify for them. One might come across them poking around some place or another. The best way to find out what was what was to have a look for themselves, after all. Or they might be around the greenhouse, trying to get a better understanding of how agriculture works. It was a definite step up from gathering interesting seeds for Greez's terrarium.
Perhaps it would be considered unheard of for a Jedi to seek out a Sith lord, but Altair had been reasonable, and Cal felt he had to talk to someone about what had happened in the midst of the storm. Granted it took some finding, but eventually he and BD-1 would make their way to the hospital as well.
WHERE: Around Temba
WHAT: Exploring, reflection and maybe get to know who all else is around...ish
WHEN: Post-initial storm-event things and maybe into early next month
WARNINGS: None..? Will edit if needs be
It had been days, weeks, even, since he'd attempted to brave the storm. He wasn't sure if anyone else who'd gone out there had learned anything, but it was clear at the very least that it was completely different from anything he'd ever seen or experienced. Part of him still felt like he was recovering from it, but Cal was pretty sure that it probably just compiled with everything else he'd mentally pushed aside. Seeing familiar figures in the storm hadn't helped at all.
His connection to the Force had restored itself, much to his relief. He wasn't even sure what to make of that, save that the storm had something to do with it. That was also unsettling to think about, and it put the potential danger of these storms in a new light. If it could do something like that, what else could it do?
There were too many questions and little enough answers. With the need to keep busy somehow, Cal and BD-1 wandered the ruined city, building off what had been supplied as a map, trying to make sense of whatever the Agrii had tried to clarify for them. One might come across them poking around some place or another. The best way to find out what was what was to have a look for themselves, after all. Or they might be around the greenhouse, trying to get a better understanding of how agriculture works. It was a definite step up from gathering interesting seeds for Greez's terrarium.
Perhaps it would be considered unheard of for a Jedi to seek out a Sith lord, but Altair had been reasonable, and Cal felt he had to talk to someone about what had happened in the midst of the storm. Granted it took some finding, but eventually he and BD-1 would make their way to the hospital as well.
no subject
It was delivered in a soft tone, despite his words. He'd seen that sort of tiredness before in many people. And he'd likely looked the same at various times throughout his life. Of course, whether to seize the chance at some rest or push through it to burn the candle at both ends, was still something that Cal had to decide for himself.
He gave a hum at the padawan's words, "I wished so too, despite knowing better. Sadly, easy fixes are for reckless Sith Lords like yours truly, not for fixing an entire world."
He didn't comment on how it was unusual for a Jedi to want an easy fix for this type of issue. He had somewhat more tact than that.
Getting up from his chair, he went to fetch some water and food, coming over to the Jedi with it, "You need this more than I do, I think. Eat, drink. Regain some of your energy."
His question did send a chill up his spine- and he didn't think he had to mention it for Cal to know it had been there, "I don't know. I've been forcibly cut off from the Force only once before. It's a hollow, sinking, lonely feeling... Like seeing all the stars in the sky blink out, and you're not sure if it's you or the world that's wrong."
That was how it had felt for him, anyway.
"Guess I know why you look like someone's died."
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Maybe it wasn't very Jedi-like to hope for a simple solution, but it had felt like everything lately had been one conundrum after another. Expecting things to be difficult was only natural by now, but one couldn't blame him for wistfully wanting a break. Then again, maybe this was kind of a break, being removed from a situation he felt he'd utterly failed, if only to be shouldered with a seemingly impossible task along with everyone else who'd been brought to this planet.
The feeling of unease didn't go amiss, and it was a sentiment shared as Altair spoke of experiencing it himself before. Cal nodded, looking unsettled. He didn't know of any other Force wielders here, so who else would understand it? That was why he came to a Sith.
"...it happened when we were just about to land, once we'd gotten right into the thick of it. One moment there, the next...just...nothing." It had been disorienting, and he found Altair's description terribly relatable. He took a slow sip of water, reluctantly recalling the trip out.
"We figured we may as well have a look since we were already landed- that was a feat in itself with the winds being as wild as they were. The lightning was something else. It obliterated anything it hit. Trees pretty much vanished. That wasn't the worst of it either.
"...I thought I saw people out there, people that shouldn't- that can't have been." Prauf, his old friend, who'd paid the price on Bracca. His master Jaro Tapal, who still haunted his dreams. If BD-1 hadn't been with him, Cal wasn't sure if he'd be sitting there in the hospital with Altair right then.
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However much he could believe that, given that Altair was Sith. They should have made natural enemies, but here they were, tentative allies instead. Altair was more than okay with that- having had more than his share of fighting before arriving, and no longer wishing to sense any death for fear of his mind shattering entirely.
He moved back to his chair to sit, breathing in, holding the breath for a few seconds, then breathing out as he considered what Cal was saying.
"I'm quite used to bad storms- the capital of my Empire is on a planet with constant lightning and rain. But what you're describing sounds much worse. It was bad here too, but... Nothing like what you experienced. And without the Force..."
It sounded awful. And dangerous.
"We had ghostly visitors here too. None that were familiar to me. But I have also felt the presence of ghosts before and these were... Different. Unresponsive, perhaps?"
It was a conundrum to be sure.
He did note the other man's reluctance, and sat a bit more upright in his chair, "You know you don't have to discuss this right now if you don't feel like you can. If you'd prefer, you can meditate and try to find your center a little. Or you could write it down, if that's easier than talking."
He paused. That icy, sinking, sick feeling from the first time they'd met was back and it was worse. It took him a moment to reign it back in.
"Force knows I have things I wouldn't be able to say to just anyone."
no subject
Naturally Cal still had his reserves, but trust was something he was still learning to exercise. He wasn't sure if being in this place would help or hinder that.
He'd fallen silent, not open to saying anything more, but feeling he'd said what was needed to be said, regarding the storm and the danger it brought. His unease wasn't difficult to sense, especially at the suggestion of meditating. It was something he'd struggled with for the doors to past memories it tended to fling open, although he thought he'd mostly gotten over it. But he couldn't say that Altair's suggestions weren't reasonable.
A nod was all he offered, acknowledgment without commitment.
His eyes lifted from his food as he caught that feeling from the Sith, a stronger echo of what he'd sensed before when the man had let it slip. Cal nodded again once Altair found his voice.
"...what sort of ghosts were here? Of the Agrii?" He backtracked on the subject, to more neutral ground.
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Altair was normally good with ghosts. After all, much of his time as Sith had been spent chasing them around the galaxy and binding them to him to draw on their power. It hadn't necessarily worked out well for him at first, but he felt like he knew more about ghosts than your average Sith or Jedi. Enough to know how they felt.
Enough to know that ghosts should be drawn to him.
Of course, something had felt wrong with his own connection to the Force ever since arriving here. At first he'd thought it was something about Agra 10 in general. Lately he'd started to suspect it was his own fault. Not something he wanted to bring up, at any rate.
"Maybe I'm just too used to angry Sith spirits. Maybe I won't quite recognize a ghost unless I get choked or tossed about at least once or twice."
That was a joke.
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"Wonder what happened to them. Unless they shared the same fate as the Agrii before they decided to leave." He wondered if anything the left behind would still hold any readable echoes. It hadn't been something he'd tried yet, here.
"I can't say that I've had any previous experience with ghosts myself, unless you count resurrected Nightsisters. But if the ghosts here aren't trying to claw your face off, that's a plus."
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He shook his head. He knew his own Empire had to be in chaos at home, and he was here. He'd made friends here. Even fallen for someone. But the fact that his people needed him never left his mind either. What kind of leader was he, if he couldn't help those who suffered at home. If he couldn't mourn the Empire's dead and ensure that a tragedy like Ziost never happened again. If he couldn't stop the Emperor from hurting another soul.
Altair was far from a typical Sith. Most of the Empire still worshiped the Emperor, despite the fact that he'd been absent, and probably despite the fact that he'd destroyed an entire Imperial planet. Altair didn't. He mourned the people he hadn't been able to save, felt their terror whenever he laid down to sleep and he couldn't begin to count the amount of times he'd woken up screaming.
He shouldn't feel it, a Sith should be unaffected by it. But he did.
And he was angry, more than anything else. And he liked the fact that he could express his anger. At least at home, he could. Here though? He'd been without an overarching purpose for a while.
After all, acting out his rage would merely turn everyone else against him, and he'd always been the fearful type more than the angry one.
"I supposedly have a special draw among ghosts- something my ancestor told me, once. Not here though. Not with these ghosts."
no subject
Cal was fine with helping people in need, but it was hard to offer it when you hadn't been given the choice, and when those who were depending on you refused to show themselves. It was easier to look at things in the perspective of helping those others in the same predicament to get through whatever trials lay in store for them, with the hope of getting back to wherever they'd been snatched from to begin with.
He set his empty plate and cup aside, feeling a little better after having something to eat, head tilting as Altair talked more of his experiences with ghosts.
"Is...there a reason for that? That seems pretty specific." Something to do with the Force? He wasn't familiar with the ways of the Sith, save for the dark path they chose to follow, and even that was mostly from old stories.
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His friends, especially. Hux and Eli in particular. Sith were nothing if not stubborn, and Altair was probably the most stubborn of all. He'd sooner die himself than fail to protect someone he loved. Of course, he felt like a failure already- having lost Krista. Whether she had been sent home, whether she was in trouble.
He didn't know.
He said nothing about it, however. He missed her and he worried for her and everyone else who'd gone, but he wouldn't place that burden on Cal.
"A rare power among Sith, I think. Perhaps among Jedi, too- how would I know, after all. My ancestor told me that ghosts can sense me from far away, and that I rouse strong emotions in them. A source of great power, that has been the downfall of many."
Of course, maybe these ghosts were different. Or maybe something was different about him.
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He sighed, letting himself calm. Perhaps meditation would help. He definitely needed to recenter himself. Too many things happening one after the other still left him unbalanced, and it was almost funny that he'd been given reasonable advice from someone that was the antithesis of a Jedi.
"I've never heard of that sort of ability," he admitted. He wasn't sure what to make of such a power, or what possible good it could serve. Of course, if it was more relevant to the Sith...
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He was curious about what came after of course. Knew a little, what had been told to him by the people from those thousands of years later, after the fall of the Empire he knew, after the rise of something that seemed worse.
"There are things about the Force that even Jedi or Sith cannot understand. We could spend a thousand years and then a thousand more, trying to unravel its mysteries, and we would still come up short."
Altair spent his time at home digging for the secrets of the Sith, his was the Sphere of Ancient Knowledge. And even he couldn't claim to know everything, much as he loved following mysteries to their end.
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Even brushing upon that thought prompted a pang as too easily the memory of those events that had changed everything he'd ever known threatened to push its way to the forefront. He still didn't know the why's, but he doubted that it would change anything. It certainly wouldn't bring back his master, or the Council or the Republic.
"I'm sure I've heard similar said by one of the masters." If they hadn't all been conscripted to fight for the Republic, perhaps his training might have been a whole lot different. Still, he'd been learning a lot along his journey to regain what he'd lost, and in trying to retrace Eno Cordova's footsteps.
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There was a slightly sarcastic tone to his voice, not mocking, more amused. After all, all the Jedi he'd ever met, or at least most of them, wanted him and his fellows dead and his Empire burned to the ground, their secrets and knowledge wiped off the face of the galaxy.
Altair did not like Jedi generally. But some were alright. Of course, he felt much the same about his fellow Sith, hating those who didn't realize or wouldn't accept that they needed change. Malgus had once had a good idea, though he wanted unity through warfare, not peace- and that Altair could not allow, even if Malgus hadn't been anti-alien.
"Am I sounding like a Jedi then? Maybe I should start talking about murder and mayhem instead to affirm that I am Sith."
More amusement, a little bit of teasing. He couldn't help it.
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He was pretty sure he couldn't base all Sith off of Altair, even if the man was the only one he'd met who claimed the title. The closest he'd ever encountered who were obvious users of the Dark side were the Inquisitors, and they were specifically trained to go after any surviving Jedi. But then he knew where the Inquisitors came from, what they used to be.
Between the Second Sister and Altair, Cal decided talking with the latter was much more favorable, and not only because Altair wasn't bent on killing him. Although that wasn't to say it didn't make up at least some small part of it.
"Not that it's a bad thing. Both the Jedi and the Sith study the Force, right? So it shouldn't be so strange that both would acknowledge how difficult it would be to try understanding everything about it." It was more in the application where the two sides parted.
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Altair enjoyed being Sith. He enjoyed the freedom, the knowledge, and the power. But power alone was not capable of corrupting him and he had his own way of seeing the world and a path forward for the Sith and the Sith Empire. One of sanity and rationality, rather than flying off the handle at the slightest offense.
He wanted to use his power to ensure his people's prosperity, not to torch the world behind him as he went. It was what was typical of his Order, but had the Force wanted a typical Sith, perhaps the Force should have made sure he was born human or pureblood instead.
"And that is a similarity, yes. Our goals may be different, but the Force is a constant- for Jedi, for Sith, and those who aren't either. It does flow through all living things, after all. It's natural that we want to know more."
He paused then, thought, before speaking; "Though should any other Sith from my time show, I suggest being cautious. I might have chosen reason, but most Sith are not so... Balanced."
Most of them were scum. But of course he didn't say that.
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Altair had already seen that he was without a weapon, so Cal didn't feel the need to explain anything more.
"And after getting more of an idea of the situation here, the least sort of thing I'd want to have to deal with on top of everything else is someone after my head just because I'm a Jedi." He paused, reminded of a certain recent network address. "...although it seems like not everyone can set aside any existing grudges with people they consider their enemies, even here."
The Sith's advice was sensible, not to mention it confirmed Cal's own hunches. Altair was a different cut. So what were unbalanced Sith like? He wasn't sure he wanted to find out. "I...figured as much, but yeah. Thanks for the warning."
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He shook his head. It had been a long time since he was a child. His dreams had changed over the years as well- Jedi, shop owner, artist, starting his own family. Eventually Sith had come to feel right. He enjoyed the freedom that came with getting to choose his own path.
"And I agree- our focus should be unity. Working together not so much for the Agrii's sake, but at least for each other's sake. Fighting each other would be quite the waste of time. Like you said though, not everyone seems to have an actual brain."
It was said in the most deadpan way- he'd seen that network address as well and was extremely annoyed by it.
"You are most welcome. With any luck though, no more Sith will arrive. Much as I miss some of the people from home."
Darth Marr, at least. Vowrawn would be fun to have around. He missed his murderous apprentice, too, despite their personalities differing extremely.
Still, he wouldn't want to pull anyone else away from the fires at home that needed to be put out.
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The Second Sister had been a step ahead of them, and just when he'd thought they'd be getting close to catching up... Well, he knew he couldn't blame the Agrii for his own failure, but this new predicament wasn't doing him any favors. Letting the Inquisitors and the Empire get their hands on the locations of Force-sensitive children was something Cal wasn't about to allow.
He lifted his head as he heard the familiar, concerned beeping of BD-1 and looked down by his foot where the droid had come over.
"I don't think anyone needs to be here, at least not the way the Agrii have decided," he said as he glanced back towards Altair. Maybe if he'd been brought before he'd been found by Cere and Greez, then he wouldn't have been too concerned as he wouldn't have much to get back to. But then he wouldn't have met BD-1 either, and the droid had become a friend he was sure he wouldn't have gotten as far as he had now, without.
He leaned down to extend his arm, offering it as a bridge which the little droid eagerly scuttled up and back to his usual place at his back. Slowly Cal got back to his feet, feeling at the very least, a little better. Food and being able to talk some had helped. He supposed he should address the rest shortly.
"I'm going to take your earlier suggestion and find somewhere to meditate," he informed the Sith, smiling weakly. And then maybe after that, he'd be able to finally get some actual rest. He could hope, anyway. "...thanks for your time, Altair. And for the food."
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Had it been something Cal was willing to talk about, ask for advice about, he would have. Opening up was difficult- after all, Altair was not at all interested in speaking about what had happened to him before his arrival, the source of the occasional dip into a terror deep enough to drown in. Not with anyone besides the one person who already knew.
"No. Definitely not. We don't need to be here and we shouldn't be- not in the way we are. But we can only get through this by relying on each other."
Much as he hated the thought of relying on those he still considered strangers. He'd made friends, but. He couldn't only rely on them- though he welcomed them relying on him as heavily as they wanted. After all, the distraction was welcome.
"A fine idea. Should you need me, you know how to get a hold of me. If I'm not here, you could always send me a message, as well."
Or reach out with the Force to locate him. There was that, too.
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"Makes better sense than trying to stick it out alone." Thus far most of those he'd spoken to had similar feelings regarding the Agrii, but weren't above looking out for each other. It would only be right to do his own part to help out.
"I'll do that." Nodding at Altair, Cal turned to retrace his steps out. At least there didn't seem any shortage of solitary places to meditate. He imagined that would be the easy part.