Tony Stark (
in_extremis) wrote in
revivalproject2023-11-03 08:07 pm
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Transference
WHO: Tony, Wesker?, OTA
WHERE: Around Temba, and the hospital
WHAT: Tony's doing his silly little task
WHEN: The week after this
WARNINGS: Tony continues to be miserable.
a. days 1-6
The first problem with Wesker's request was convincing a whole bunch of different people to reliably carry around some new thing on the off chance that they were caught off guard, far from help or shelter. Including children. Most people didn't even have a jack in their car. Building this mechanism into something they already carried, like their communications devices, would have been the best case scenario. The second problem with Wesker's request was that all electronic systems, including the communication devices and the network itself, were not reliable in these disaster scenarios. So much for small and portable.
Tony was going to do neither of those things. What Tony was going to do, was try not to be seen trundling around the city, sometimes dragging his wheeled cart behind him full of broken consoles, glass and steel. He looked terrible. A longer day did not make a week long enough to solve this fundamentally social problem, but if he didn't sleep and kept a careful balance of coffee and red fruit juice, he could buy himself a few more hours. It didn't really take that long, in the grand scheme of things, to erect a radio tower, after all.
These started to appear in a slow circle around the perimeters of the city first, wherever Tony could get the highest, even if that meant doing his best Spider-man (Link?) impression and scaling a building with long metal beams strapped to his back. The one that was hardest to ignore crowned the Whale Comb Sent Her, unavoidably in the middle of the city, assembled on site and bolted to the roof and trying vainly to stretch as tall as the structures around it. Inside, among some debris from some necessary remodelling work, a line of tiny bells hung along the wall, each with quickly scrawled co-ordinates and distances under them, directly onto the plaster.
The most difficult part, really, was the materials. This wasn't new technology, a crystal radio was something the Greeks had, Tony was pretty sure. It was never going to be a strong signal, but he could make that work in his favour--the closer the transmitting tower, the more bells it could ring. While he was scavenging for enough beams to erect his towers, he could be looking for something that would satisfy Wesker's request more closely.
b. day 7
He had one day left when he startled awake, not realizing he had been asleep, jerking up quickly enough that his back protested with a sharp pain where it had been contorted over the workbench. A day was plenty of time, he thought, when he found he still had a mouthful left of coffee in a nearby mug. He didn't even get up out of the seat, just found his loupe among the tools and went back to work.
It was hours later that he started to tell himself that maybe he had been counting wrong, and when Wesker had said a week, he meant starting from the next day, not from when he made his request. That would have been the fair thing.
It was when it was hard to see through the pain in his head, and the red-stained bottle was empty, that Tony thought Wesker might have been right, and he had never done any of this altruistically, and if he really wanted people safe and not just relying on him for safety he could have figured that out any time in the last 30 years. Hell, he'd had a whole week to dedicate to one, little problem. He'd had a few more than that to figure out how to make one rocket stable enough to break the atmosphere. He didn't even need a rocket, he could do what he had always done best; make a gun. Nothing had really stopped him from making one of those before, except now he had the perfect opportunity to use that natural impulse to help people. All of that explosive inspiration suddenly failed him.
It was when all of his scattered eyes around the city alerted that the sun had set that he was left staring down at a frustratingly small scrap, and had to accept that it wasn't getting finished. He pushed away from the workbench finally, every joint creaking in protest, struggling to straighten his back and blink through the pain behind his eyes as he stumbled away to the sink. While he washed his face, D.A.T.A. helpfully rallied to pack his meagre offering into his waiting jacket pocket. The water didn't really improve his face. Despite the hour, he slipped on his sunglasses after carefully fixing his hair in their reflection, and accepted the silk jacket from the robot with a muttered, "Thanks." He could have given a half-way convincing press conference, if the lighting was forgiving. He really only had one person to convince as he made his way to the hospital.
WHERE: Around Temba, and the hospital
WHAT: Tony's doing his silly little task
WHEN: The week after this
WARNINGS: Tony continues to be miserable.
a. days 1-6
The first problem with Wesker's request was convincing a whole bunch of different people to reliably carry around some new thing on the off chance that they were caught off guard, far from help or shelter. Including children. Most people didn't even have a jack in their car. Building this mechanism into something they already carried, like their communications devices, would have been the best case scenario. The second problem with Wesker's request was that all electronic systems, including the communication devices and the network itself, were not reliable in these disaster scenarios. So much for small and portable.
Tony was going to do neither of those things. What Tony was going to do, was try not to be seen trundling around the city, sometimes dragging his wheeled cart behind him full of broken consoles, glass and steel. He looked terrible. A longer day did not make a week long enough to solve this fundamentally social problem, but if he didn't sleep and kept a careful balance of coffee and red fruit juice, he could buy himself a few more hours. It didn't really take that long, in the grand scheme of things, to erect a radio tower, after all.
These started to appear in a slow circle around the perimeters of the city first, wherever Tony could get the highest, even if that meant doing his best Spider-man (Link?) impression and scaling a building with long metal beams strapped to his back. The one that was hardest to ignore crowned the Whale Comb Sent Her, unavoidably in the middle of the city, assembled on site and bolted to the roof and trying vainly to stretch as tall as the structures around it. Inside, among some debris from some necessary remodelling work, a line of tiny bells hung along the wall, each with quickly scrawled co-ordinates and distances under them, directly onto the plaster.
The most difficult part, really, was the materials. This wasn't new technology, a crystal radio was something the Greeks had, Tony was pretty sure. It was never going to be a strong signal, but he could make that work in his favour--the closer the transmitting tower, the more bells it could ring. While he was scavenging for enough beams to erect his towers, he could be looking for something that would satisfy Wesker's request more closely.
b. day 7
He had one day left when he startled awake, not realizing he had been asleep, jerking up quickly enough that his back protested with a sharp pain where it had been contorted over the workbench. A day was plenty of time, he thought, when he found he still had a mouthful left of coffee in a nearby mug. He didn't even get up out of the seat, just found his loupe among the tools and went back to work.
It was hours later that he started to tell himself that maybe he had been counting wrong, and when Wesker had said a week, he meant starting from the next day, not from when he made his request. That would have been the fair thing.
It was when it was hard to see through the pain in his head, and the red-stained bottle was empty, that Tony thought Wesker might have been right, and he had never done any of this altruistically, and if he really wanted people safe and not just relying on him for safety he could have figured that out any time in the last 30 years. Hell, he'd had a whole week to dedicate to one, little problem. He'd had a few more than that to figure out how to make one rocket stable enough to break the atmosphere. He didn't even need a rocket, he could do what he had always done best; make a gun. Nothing had really stopped him from making one of those before, except now he had the perfect opportunity to use that natural impulse to help people. All of that explosive inspiration suddenly failed him.
It was when all of his scattered eyes around the city alerted that the sun had set that he was left staring down at a frustratingly small scrap, and had to accept that it wasn't getting finished. He pushed away from the workbench finally, every joint creaking in protest, struggling to straighten his back and blink through the pain behind his eyes as he stumbled away to the sink. While he washed his face, D.A.T.A. helpfully rallied to pack his meagre offering into his waiting jacket pocket. The water didn't really improve his face. Despite the hour, he slipped on his sunglasses after carefully fixing his hair in their reflection, and accepted the silk jacket from the robot with a muttered, "Thanks." He could have given a half-way convincing press conference, if the lighting was forgiving. He really only had one person to convince as he made his way to the hospital.
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"But does it have to be one or the other?" Tony's always finding new ways to fix a problem, and Steve's always bending the rules to get things to fit to his worldview, but somehow, when it comes to each other, they never consider a third choice.
He at least makes an attempt to lighten the mood, after he realizes how futile it is to ask either of them to unpack their relationship with their missing counterparts. "Is this 'cause I didn't know your birthday? I won't forget if you tell me." A beat. "If you remember it."
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He released a long breath, trying to depressurize at Steve's prompting, only to press his lips together with a sidelong look for Steve not missing his own chance to take a shot. Maybe it wasn't just Tony. "I'll have my assistant check my calendar," he said. "End of February. You know what that means? I'm very imaginative and selfless in the bedroom. Tell a gal that you're a Pisces and she'll give you a key to her place on the spot."
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And then, of course, Tony deflects with humor, and flirting, and Steve turns tail and walks off. It's just what they do.
So he takes a breath instead. "What'd he do?" he asks, instead. "Your Steve. What did he do?"
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He reached up to Steve's shoulder, to trace a flat hand up the back of his neck and pull him closer, so their heads were bowed together and Steve didn't have anywhere else to look, and it was suddenly so obvious how those centimetres of difference in this Steve's shape didn't quite fit into the void that Tony felt at his side. If he could hurt Steve, maybe he could bite and drag his nails through his skin to force him into that shape, push and dig until he was his. The only thing his Steve had ever done was, "He forgave me. Every time." If he really thought Tony deserved that, he couldn't argue that he didn't himself.
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Things were always just so dramatic between them, weren't they?
"I've never met your Steve," he says, easily, his hands reaching up to cup Tony's cheeks. Those weren't the words he would've thought Tony would say, especially not up close like this, not when the gesture seems so aggressive. He expected to be told to go away. To leave Tony alone. "But I do know he doesn't just give out platitudes. If he forgave you, then you deserved it. Or never did anything worth having to forgive in the first place."
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"We're talking about you," he could hear himself fumbling. "The forgiveness." If Steve had heard that the first time, Tony wouldn't feel so awkward, enough that it felt just as embarrassing to retreat and his guiding hand dropped just back to Steve's shoulder where it curled into a fist like he meant to rest it there and wasn't caught in this limbo while he found his words. "I'm not going to tell you he never hurt me so you can feel worse about yourself."
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They're still so close together, it's a little bit awkward, but the physical awkwardness of it is just a manifestation of how strange it is for the two of them, to be talking to each other, each an imperfect mirror of the man they ought to be talking to, but can't.
He supposes this also reflects the first time he met Tony - Tony, who looked so much like Howard, who resented him, who wanted to be known to Steve by his own merits and completely disconnected from his father. And now, meeting Tony again, who's supposed to be nearly a complete stranger, there's still all this baggage.
Steve drops his hands to Tony's arms. "Can we start over?"
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As distracted as the touch to his face had made Tony, it was when Steve's hands brushed down over his shoulders that he did recoil, closing off with his elbows dropping tight against his sides and quickly taking hold of Steve's wrists to release them more gently than shrugging them off, all in rhythm with his patter, "Oh, role playing, I can do that one, that's much more fun. What were you thinking? Maybe I see you sitting at the bar, you've been there just a little too long, it's clear that someone's stood you up, so I can drop by and offer you a drink. No, you're right, I hear it, too, that's a little too close to home."
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He wonders if, perhaps, either this Tony is inherently less faithful than the one he knows, or if his Steve Rogers is just so exceedingly heterosexual that Tony thinks this tactic is going to work to piss him off when they're the emptiest words he could've pulled out. Well, aside from mentioning the alcoholism. Now that was actually something that could have possibly gotten Steve to stay angry.
With his touch shrugged off, Steve naturally moves his arms to cross over his chest. "I don't get stood up." A beat. "But fine. I get it. It's not gonna work. Why are you angry with me? Not with him."
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"What? I'm--not," was definitely not a convincing metre and not because he meant to be deceptive, and now Tony was going to have to work twice as hard to convince anyone that was true. Steve's arms across his chest looked like a brick wall now, that Tony couldn't slide his fingers through to try that answer again. He had to keep them to himself, digging the heel of one hand against his heart. "I'm not angry with anyone," he said. "I'm not." His track record was saying otherwise. "I'm..." He should have had a better explanation than a vague gesture around the disorganized shop, and he could already hear Rhodey parroting 'I, I, I' at him.
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"Right, that's why we're basically arguing over nothing," he says. "Why you get all up in my space just to push me away." Which is why he asked what the other Steve even did to him, to warrant this. Because yes, they're different people, all four of them, but they also all know each other well enough to get under each other's skin faster than pretty much anyone else. Zemo took years what Tony and Steve perfected in minutes.
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But he doesn't say that, because he doesn't think it'd really be any help. "Because the alternative is - the alternative is we just keep fighting. Or we walk away." He'd tried both of those once and somehow whatever call he made with Tony, it'd always been the wrong one.
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Jesus christ.
"I'm not angry. I have been trying--so hard...I never had to say any of this stuff, not with you. Maybe we do have to start over." Every fit and start was an aborted flick of his hand, bouncing off of the barrier of Steve's crossed arms and leaving Tony feeling like he hadn't completed a single thought, and still raw for it.
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"I'm not your Steve," he reminds Tony, after a long pause, a very tense, long pause. But he comes forward anyway, trepidatiously, reaching out for him, gently at first as if touching a reflection in water and not wanting it to break. "But I know he wouldn't want you thinking the only good you do is on his account. Steve Rogers didn't help you become Iron Man," he says, even though he doesn't know if that was literally the case or not. But to clarify, he says: "You were a hero before the armor. And you're a hero without it."
He continues, and he comes closer still. "I want to talk to you. So does Jan. Hell, pretty sure Peter doesn't really care which universe you come from either. You guys have a Peter, right?" He shakes his head, because it doesn't matter, ultimately. "I can talk to Jon, if you want. I don't know the guy, but I think he's just trying to give you space."
And then, finally, he pulls Tony into a hug, enfolds him in strong arms, and though he may not be the same Steve Rogers, he might as well be when he's this close: he's the same kind of solid, the same kind of constricting. He even smells the same, despite the whole dystopian post-apocalypse thing. "Just because we don't have the same history doesn't mean I'm not the same Steve where it counts. There's just some things missing. Think of it like a hard reboot." No, that's not it. "New operating system. Work with me here, I don't know computers like you do, please tell me this analogy makes sense."
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He was in no way prepared for the hug, bracing for a strike and one hand coming up instinctively to try to keep anything from getting too close to his chest, only for it to get trapped flat against Steve's, unable to brush him off again. Not that the secrets he was trying to protect by maintaining that distance were all that secret anymore; he had just admitted how pathetic he was, and even without the telling ridge of a chestplate under his shirt, that wasn't going to be easy to hide anymore. He didn't return the hug with much grace, just his free hand tangling in the fabric of Steve's shirt, hanging at his side and knuckles digging into his ribs with the same ferocity that he had clenched around the table. Maybe Steve wasn't lying to him.
"It doesn't," Tony mumbled, and pressed his cheek against Steve's neck, hard enough so the burr of his beard could have left a pink blush in an acknowledgement that he was still arguing. Maybe it was because Tony kept on testing those boundaries and finding the new shape of him, but Steve was the one who kept on pointing directly to that phantom of himself and Tony hadn't yet properly acknowledged, "Sorry my parts are missing. I'm working on it." It was hard to imagine that he missed Tony in the same way, no hollowness in his chest that Tony could have possibly left behind, but it must have been disorienting all the same to see a familiar face and hear all of the wrong words.
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But he's trying, trying to find a common ground with Tony, trying to find all the parts where he fit and all the parts where he didn't exactly so he'd have to approximate or just start over fresh. Maybe Tony hadn't had Ultron and maybe they'd never fought over accords, or maybe there'd be villains and Avengers and countless others in their rosters and rogues gallery that they'll have to reintroduce.
And, yes, Steve is getting the distinct impression that Tony is disappointed he's waited for years and gotten a completely different Steve Rogers, one who knows him only so well, but he'll have to forgive Steve for the aliens' transgressions in having selected the wrong one. "Yeah, well, you're the genius, figure out an analogy that does make sense."
These kinds of conversations, oddly enough, remind him of the ones he had with Bucky, who wasn't the same Bucky anymore, but that hadn't ever mattered to Steve. The foundation was there, and yes, he had lots of things he had to work on separately; they both did. But as much as Bucky had kept thinking Steve was going to expect the same guy who used to take him out on double-dates and offered him a place to stay after his ma died to just show up out of nowhere and replace the Bucky that was in front of him, he'd been wrong about that. And whatever Tony thinks Steve expects of him, well, he's definitely wrong about it.
They might be here a long time. Steve isn't sure he's letting go until Tony relaxes.
"And - sure. But I don't like the thought of you being alone all the time," he says, mostly because Tony seems to have somehow thought that nobody wants to talk to him. "So I better see you topside or I'm coming back to your lab."
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"Don't," he finally said when he had managed enough equilibrium to encourage Steve back, not far yet but enough that Tony could meet his eye and pluck again at the front of his shirt to assure him, come closer, don't make empty threats. It wasn't the invasion of his space that Tony was protesting. It might not have been so bad, letting someone in his lab. "Don't defend me," he elaborated, because Steve had already suggested it and Tony didn't want him making his isolation everyone else's problem. He had been doing that for a decade, and Tony hadn't even noticed how much he relied on Steve cleaning up after him until he was here. "They hate that, they always have. You get away with it back home because they respect you, they'll do whatever you tell them. Most people here don't know who you are. Jon doesn't know who you are. If he thinks he's doing this for my own good, he's probably right. He's always right. You're going to really like each other."
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He likes that better, actually. The anonymity. The respect isn't handed to him; he has to earn it the same way anyone else does. And he will, the same way anyone else does.
But, he's got another bone to pick with Tony about that: "Other people care about you," he says, as a fact. Like he's not doing any convincing or dragging people into coming to check in on Tony in his isolation. He's informing them because he knows that they'll want to get dragged along because they just want to see him, too. All the better they don't know Steve, then it won't be something Steve did or Steve caused.
He really has to wonder what he and Tony were like, on the other world, to make him this way.
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"Not to pull rank on you or anything," he grumbled into the warm space between them, "but you've been here, like, a day. I've had a few years to figure out my social standing when I'm not handing out cheques. Maybe we trust me on this one for now, and you pick something in your wheel house to argue with me about. I'm sure you've got some strong opinions about the baseball season, we can compare notes, maybe your universe got the lineup all wrong."
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Why Tony continues looking for something to argue about is beyond him. He'd rather they just work past this, that they recognize that they're going to be slightly different versions of the men they know, that they each come with similar problems but also very familiar ones as well, unfortunately. "How about sleep?" he asks. "Can't find anyone who's slept longer than me and isn't dead, and I can tell you that you need some."
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But maybe this seems unfamiliar because Tony's out of the compound at home so much that Steve never gets to make him anything to eat, only ever bringing things to his fellow Avengers when they're around and he's near a kitchen. But as Tony's the only one to bug around here that Steve absolutely knows needs it, he's the target.
Tony really was impossible in every universe, wasn't he? "Besides, Tony, we're all trying. I don't even think we could get off this planet with the current state of the hangar. Even if we could figure out intergalactic travel." Yeah, and all the way back to talking shop. At least this part's easy, the part where they don't have to talk about feelings.
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"You're not on a clock. I have no idea why you think there's some sort of deadline for you to invent something. No, you've never built a spaceship before, as far as I know, so I don't know why anyone would expect you to have figured that out if you don't even have enough resources to build a suit."
He wonders if Tony has lost so much sleep that he's delusional, because he sure as hell isn't making a whole lot of sense. "Hey, how about this. You show me what you're working on, and get some sleep. And while you're doing that, I help you come up with a couple new ideas to try." How he can promise this when everything looks like actual gobbledygook to him on a normal day is beyond him. "How's that?"
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