[VIDEO] | Open

[reneggadetinkerer]

Attention! This is Dr. Ivo Robotnik speaking and, as I assume I'm not the only one stranded on this wretched world, I am opening up communications for some proper answers. It appears my abductors can't be reached at the moment and I've already spent enough time familiarizing myself with what little information that is available.

If you have received this transmission, make yourselves known. Rest assured, if there is a way off of this world, then I will be the one to find it!

[And he may even let you tag along. Maybe.]

Comments

[spinsandneedles]

I really wish I was messing with you right now, but yeah, that's a thing.

...Or they might be vampires? That's a theory, too. Either way, there was this girl that tried to eat a buddy of mine recently.

[reneggadetinkerer]

A theory?! You mean you've been here for months and all you have is a theory?! You don't even have a proper classification! For someone whose entire repertoire is based around speed you don't seem to have any urgency!

[spinsandneedles]

This was like a week ago, man! Plus I think one of 'em wants to murder me because I kind of called the girl out on the network the other day and this one dude got all pissed. I'm not tryin' to get eaten, okay!

[reneggadetinkerer]

What?! Who dares?!

If anyone is going to be the end of you, it's not going to be some melanin-challenged, nightstalking interloper!

[spinsandneedles]

...Glad to see you're still weirdly possessive of me. Or the end of me, specifically.

I didn't get his name, he hung up on me.

[reneggadetinkerer]

While you likely have it coming, I won't let my final victory be stolen away by some be-fanged bumbler. I'll have to shift my priorities, it seems.

[spinsandneedles]

All I did was warn people about what was going on, I don't thing that warrants having it coming. At least not in this case.

Are you implying that you want to protect me from vampires just so you can kill me later? This is hilarious.

[reneggadetinkerer]

I am implying your destruction will be orchestrated by me. On my terms. And in a way that is far more appropriate and suitable for the years of annoyances you've given me.

Besides, vampires are hardly a threat. Can't even cross running water.

[spinsandneedles]

You sure do know how to make a guy feel special. I won't settle for anything less than your best explosion.

We don't know that for sure. These vampires could have different rules, we don't know if things like garlic or not inviting them in actually work.

[reneggadetinkerer]

I've seen you outrun explosions. I'd rather drown you.

Hrm. I hate to admit it but you put forth an interesting point. We'll need to confirm these 'rules' for ourselves.

[spinsandneedles]

Note to self: swimming lessons.

I mean, first we need to find out if they actually are vampires. They could just be cannibals. Except one tried to eat a turtle, and I'm pretty sure at least one of them is human... I guess technically not cannibals in that case, but that's neither here nor there.

[reneggadetinkerer]

Nondiscriminatory omnivores. Fine. It's a start.

An underwhelming, inane start, but a start nonetheless.

I assume you have names?

[spinsandneedles]

The dude hung up on me before I could get his, my buddy didn't catch the girl's name since she was too busy eating him. I'll ask around.

[reneggadetinkerer]

... ... ...

It's frustrating that I haven't been able to destroy you despite you being...

...You.

[spinsandneedles]

Obviously my skills lie in breaking your stuff and dodging explosions! Vampires and/or cannibals are completely new for me. ...Most of what happens here is new for me, come to think of it. Last month was a volcano!

[reneggadetinkerer]

You speak of it as if it were the weather.

It couldn't have been a volcano! Volcanoes are not some squall that pass through and then vanish!

[spinsandneedles]

It didn't pass through and vanish, you can see it from here.

It did spring up suddenly over the course of like a month, though, which I know sounds super fake because that's not how volcanoes work. That's what happened, though. We were stuck underground in some kinda creepy sci-fi facility for like a month, I guess the Agrii don't quite understand the concept of evacuation.

[reneggadetinkerer]

...A bunker.

A bunker which, I assume, is still here.

[spinsandneedles]

I don't see why it wouldn't be. Getting in might be tricky, though. Before we went down the entrance was hidden, maybe by some weird alien tech? I haven't been down there since we left, bein' locked up isn't exactly my favorite thing in the world.

[reneggadetinkerer]

Yes, you go ahead and run around to your heart's content.

I, on the other hand, have much work to do.

[spinsandneedles]

I plan to.

Well! I've had about as much of this conversation as I can take. Call me if my particular brand of skills can help with whatever master plan you come up with.

[reneggadetinkerer]

Yes, if I need someone to run as fast as they can in a direction opposite of me, I'll be sure to contact you.

[spinsandneedles]

I guess if you don't have anything here for me to break, that's the next best thing.