08 | It must be getting early; Clocks are running late

[sinistral]

WHO: the Soldier (sinistral) and you
WHERE: various Temba locations
WHAT: while everyone hunkered down in the warrens, the Soldier was sent elsewhere; now it's time to come back
WHEN: a few days after the general population emerges from the underground
WARNINGS: none; will update if that changes

---

TEMBA
→ Excavation: for Billy Kaplan;

The first thing the Soldier did on waking in Temba, sore and tired and with the familiarly, infuriatingly vague idea that he'd been elsewhere, was to check to make sure he was intact, or near enough to it. But the first thing after that was to make his way through ruined streets to the building Billy and his brother claimed as their home. The sight that met his eyes made something twist and drop out of the bottom of his stomach, a sensation he immediately tried to ignore. It, and the implied emotion, were unneeded.

"Billy?" he called out, circling toward the wall that seemed most intact. The ceiling was a complete loss, but he couldn't tell from this angle how much damage the structure had absorbed, and how much it had caved. He couldn't tell either if Billy or his brother was around; he resolved to find out. "Tommy?"

→ Exploration: open to all;

The Soldier hadn't been one to rely heavily on the amenities of the community. He generally preferred to forage, and to repurpose things he found in so doing. Years of living on the run with few resources prepared him pretty well for losing the bulk of his supplies when the volcanic activity apparently swept through the towns. But years of living on the run also had him hiding small caches of supplies here and there in ruined buildings. If he was lucky maybe one or two of his stashes hadn't been completely destroyed.

(He never had that kind of good luck but it was a nice thought.)

The weather seemed like it would hold at least, making it a decent day for exploring the rubble of ruined buildings. Maybe he'd luck into finding something useful. Or maybe he'd just end up doing the heavy lifting for someone who needed it. At the very least the sounds from the building in front of him didn't seem like the predatory animals he'd seen on Temba's outskirts. Still, a hand strayed close to the knife at his hip, just in case.

→ Examination: network text to Cal Kestis;

I could use a mechanic. If you've the time.

→ Explanation: network text open to all;

Anyone know if this was a planned redecorating, or is apocalypse chic just in now and I missed the memo?

→ Wildcard;

Open to other ideas. Please reach out to me at sometimesamuse or via PM for plotting needs. As always while I write starters in prose I'm happy to match brackets if that's your preference.

Comments

[wearingthestars]

"Uh..." Well that made Billy flush unexpectedly, a guilty look on his face as he knows he's about to be called on his own hypocrisy. Because he's helped moved Tommy out, and sworn to his brother that he's got a place of his own all ready, but... "I don't really have one yet," he admitted, "I've just been staying in there..."

[sinistral]

"Billy," he chided gently, "what did we say about holes in roofs?" One of their very first interactions after the Agrii had abused Billy's magic, and Billy had been very nearly horrified at the Soldier's minimalist survival accommodations. But Billy also didn't need scolding; he'd been through enough.

"Did you not want to be with your brother?" They'd been roommates for years, as far as he knew. He was surprised that Billy hadn't followed Tommy. Was that a touchy subject?

[wearingthestars]

The memory made Billy smile, head ducking, and he was glad it was one Soldier'd held onto as well.

"I knooow, I know. I'm the world's biggest hypocrite," he laughed softly, and then he shrugged a shoulder guiltily. "...It's not that, it's just... neither of us is doing great and...I think maybe we get a bit co-dependent when we live together? Not that we're not there for each other now, but...I want him to have more than just me. And...and the same?" Did that even make sense?

[sinistral]

"You don't have to explain." The Soldier only wanted to make sure that he wasn't infringing on any kind of arrangement with his next suggestion. "Do you want to stay with me?"

He hadn't made a camp yet, hadn't settled anywhere himself. It shouldn't be that hard to make accommodation for two instead of one, right? "You don't have to, but if you don't want to be alone, you can lean on me and not worry about things for a while."

[wearingthestars]

Billy tried not to look too hopeful with that suggestion, but it was clear he very much did want that, held back only by his worry that Soldier was only offering out of obligation.

"You'd be okay with that?" he asked, knowing Soldier and he had spent smaller stretches with Billy camping with him before, but he valued his personal space.

[sinistral]

"Yes," he replied simply. He wouldn't have offered if he wasn't sure. But neither of them could know if the arrangement would work until they tried. Why not try now?

"I don't have a camp picked out yet" he cautioned. "I came right here as soon as I got back. But it looks to be dry today so if you want, we don't have to start looking until tomorrow."

[wearingthestars]

Of course, the simple answers. Billy laughed, never so fond of Soldier's blunt mannerisms as right now.

"I'd like that then, yeah," he agreed with a grin, and he looked back at the run down house with a nod. "Game plan for tomorrow then. Today I just get to celebrate that you're here."

[sinistral]

Sometimes simple was best. The Soldier could tell that his presence didn't automatically make everything better, but if he could at least ease Billy's mind for the night then it was a good start.

"Then that's what we'll do. How bad is the damage inside? Are there items we need to recover?"

[wearingthestars]

Billy looks back at the house with a small wince. "It's...not great. But the lower levels aren't too bad. We got most of Tommy's stuff out. I think the beds are toast, but I can make new ones."

[sinistral]

Livable, he could work with. Especially as the weather looked like it would hold for the night. "We stay here tonight," he reiterated. "We don't have to do any work, if you want to just rest. Let me take care of everything tonight so you can unplug your brain for a few hours. Sound good?"

Hopefully it would help Billy to just stop moving and worrying about others. Ideally it would let him sleep as well.

[wearingthestars]

"Yeah, yeah, rest is good," Billy allowed, shoulders relaxing a little and he smiled. "Can we maybe...talk about stuff? Once we settle in?" he added. That talk had been a long time coming, and he worried still that they kept pushing it off because the answer was no.

[sinistral]

Talk? It'd be easier to just let things go, ignore it the way they had been. But even the Soldier knew they couldn't keep that up; it was unfair to Billy.

"We can. Right now, if you want to move inside and get settled." He could bear the uncomfortable feelings of having to talk about, well, feelings.

[wearingthestars]

"Yeah?" Billy looked a little nervous but nodded, "If you're up for it, yeah," he said and offered a small smile before leading the way round into the house. The place was a mess, but no so bad as the existing ruins.

[sinistral]

"Yes." Billy wanted to talk, so they'd talk. Simple as that.

He followed Billy around to the entrance, carefully stepping over or around debris as needed. A few places he tested carefully to make sure they'd not shift and trap him. Overall it would work well enough for a night.

After finishing his inspection the Soldier settled himself carefully with his back to a wall. "Is this acceptable?"

[wearingthestars]

Billy didn't comment on Soldier's inspection, though he smirk a little when the house seemed to pass, glad he hadn't overlooked some major danger. He liked to think he'd learned a lot from Soldier, but he didn't think he was quite at his level yet with most of this.

Billy took a seat beside him so it wouldn't seem like he was cornering him or anything and nodded. "For now, yeah," he agreed, needing a moment to build up his emotional courage, "So um...I know I just cried a second a go, but I promise I'm not emotionally compromised, or...actively being tortured," he started with a laugh, "So we should probably finally-...talk about it. And either way- I-...you're like my best friend here, so- we're good-" he preemptively assured.

[sinistral]

"You are allowed to cry." Billy seemed to hold himself back so severely sometimes, that he probably needed the outlet now and then. It was probably healthier than the way the Soldier dealt with everything by just ignoring it.

"Billy," he said eventually, as his companion seemed to trip over his words, "I remember what happened in Calibrations. I think. You allowed me to comfort you, and I allowed you to kiss me. Should we start there?"

[wearingthestars]

Flushing, Billy nodded. "That's probably a good place, yeah. But um- maybe we can address the 'allowed' part? 'Cause I don't want you to feel like it's something you have to like...begrudgingly accept or anything," he said carefully, knowing it might just be Soldier's way of talking, but it also might be that it's something he puts up with for Billy's sake.

[sinistral]

"Does the word bother you?" The Soldier glanced at Billy's face before explaining his vocabulary choice. "In Calibrations, I don't know that I can be completely certain that my actions aren't influenced or forced by the power that induces those dreams. Especially when I'm in someone else's. I say 'allow' because I believe there was a conscious decision on both of our parts, both for the execution of the actions and our acceptance of them. Is that accurate?"

Once he knew that Billy understood his wording, then he'd try to explain his feelings around it.

[wearingthestars]

That did make sense, and Billy seemed to drop most of his worry hearing that explanation.

"That's accurate," he agreed with a gentle smile.

[sinistral]

The Soldier bumped his shoulder against Billy's in acknowledgment of being on the same page. That was the easy part; the next bit was harder to explain.

"I'm not...sexually motivated. I don't know if I ever will be. I don't know if that bothers you." A beat. "Or if it will bother you in the future."

[wearingthestars]

The bump felt easy, and back when they'd first met Billy couldn't imagine them sharing that kind of gesture.

The next part wasn't exactly a surprise give Soldier's general aversion to touch, and Billy gave a careful of understanding, sitting with a moment before shaking his head. "I still feel the same. I think...you know, based off previous relationships, it might start to make me sad if you don't want to kiss? I know that stuff tends to mean a lot to me." Not surprising given how Billy seemed to draw comfort from physical closeness.

[sinistral]

"I didn't say we couldn't kiss. Or touch." In fact, he put an arm around Billy to draw him close. "I just don't know if I can be more physically intimate."

[wearingthestars]

Smiling, Billy's cheeks flushed pink and he laid his head on Soldier's shoulder with a contented hum. "That's more than enough," he assured, head tilting with a shy smirk, "So...you like me back then?"

[sinistral]

"I..." He hesitated over the words. "I enjoy spending time together. I don't mind when you touch me. I'm comfortable with you knowing what I am. But I don't know how — or if — that translates to 'liking you back.' And I don't know how much I can initiate affection."

It might not be enough for Billy. It might never be enough. He might never be enough.

[wearingthestars]

Billy nodded, a vague worried expression creeping over his brow, though not for the reasons Soldier was scared of.

"...you're not just going along with this though, right? If you want things to stay the same that okay. Really. I don't want to push or-...or make you feel like you need to do anything you don't want to."