08 | It must be getting early; Clocks are running late

[sinistral]

WHO: the Soldier (sinistral) and you
WHERE: various Temba locations
WHAT: while everyone hunkered down in the warrens, the Soldier was sent elsewhere; now it's time to come back
WHEN: a few days after the general population emerges from the underground
WARNINGS: none; will update if that changes

---

TEMBA
→ Excavation: for Billy Kaplan;

The first thing the Soldier did on waking in Temba, sore and tired and with the familiarly, infuriatingly vague idea that he'd been elsewhere, was to check to make sure he was intact, or near enough to it. But the first thing after that was to make his way through ruined streets to the building Billy and his brother claimed as their home. The sight that met his eyes made something twist and drop out of the bottom of his stomach, a sensation he immediately tried to ignore. It, and the implied emotion, were unneeded.

"Billy?" he called out, circling toward the wall that seemed most intact. The ceiling was a complete loss, but he couldn't tell from this angle how much damage the structure had absorbed, and how much it had caved. He couldn't tell either if Billy or his brother was around; he resolved to find out. "Tommy?"

→ Exploration: open to all;

The Soldier hadn't been one to rely heavily on the amenities of the community. He generally preferred to forage, and to repurpose things he found in so doing. Years of living on the run with few resources prepared him pretty well for losing the bulk of his supplies when the volcanic activity apparently swept through the towns. But years of living on the run also had him hiding small caches of supplies here and there in ruined buildings. If he was lucky maybe one or two of his stashes hadn't been completely destroyed.

(He never had that kind of good luck but it was a nice thought.)

The weather seemed like it would hold at least, making it a decent day for exploring the rubble of ruined buildings. Maybe he'd luck into finding something useful. Or maybe he'd just end up doing the heavy lifting for someone who needed it. At the very least the sounds from the building in front of him didn't seem like the predatory animals he'd seen on Temba's outskirts. Still, a hand strayed close to the knife at his hip, just in case.

→ Examination: network text to Cal Kestis;

I could use a mechanic. If you've the time.

→ Explanation: network text open to all;

Anyone know if this was a planned redecorating, or is apocalypse chic just in now and I missed the memo?

→ Wildcard;

Open to other ideas. Please reach out to me at sometimesamuse or via PM for plotting needs. As always while I write starters in prose I'm happy to match brackets if that's your preference.

Comments

[sinistral]

"You are allowed to cry." Billy seemed to hold himself back so severely sometimes, that he probably needed the outlet now and then. It was probably healthier than the way the Soldier dealt with everything by just ignoring it.

"Billy," he said eventually, as his companion seemed to trip over his words, "I remember what happened in Calibrations. I think. You allowed me to comfort you, and I allowed you to kiss me. Should we start there?"

[wearingthestars]

Flushing, Billy nodded. "That's probably a good place, yeah. But um- maybe we can address the 'allowed' part? 'Cause I don't want you to feel like it's something you have to like...begrudgingly accept or anything," he said carefully, knowing it might just be Soldier's way of talking, but it also might be that it's something he puts up with for Billy's sake.

[sinistral]

"Does the word bother you?" The Soldier glanced at Billy's face before explaining his vocabulary choice. "In Calibrations, I don't know that I can be completely certain that my actions aren't influenced or forced by the power that induces those dreams. Especially when I'm in someone else's. I say 'allow' because I believe there was a conscious decision on both of our parts, both for the execution of the actions and our acceptance of them. Is that accurate?"

Once he knew that Billy understood his wording, then he'd try to explain his feelings around it.

[wearingthestars]

That did make sense, and Billy seemed to drop most of his worry hearing that explanation.

"That's accurate," he agreed with a gentle smile.

[sinistral]

The Soldier bumped his shoulder against Billy's in acknowledgment of being on the same page. That was the easy part; the next bit was harder to explain.

"I'm not...sexually motivated. I don't know if I ever will be. I don't know if that bothers you." A beat. "Or if it will bother you in the future."

[wearingthestars]

The bump felt easy, and back when they'd first met Billy couldn't imagine them sharing that kind of gesture.

The next part wasn't exactly a surprise give Soldier's general aversion to touch, and Billy gave a careful of understanding, sitting with a moment before shaking his head. "I still feel the same. I think...you know, based off previous relationships, it might start to make me sad if you don't want to kiss? I know that stuff tends to mean a lot to me." Not surprising given how Billy seemed to draw comfort from physical closeness.

[sinistral]

"I didn't say we couldn't kiss. Or touch." In fact, he put an arm around Billy to draw him close. "I just don't know if I can be more physically intimate."

[wearingthestars]

Smiling, Billy's cheeks flushed pink and he laid his head on Soldier's shoulder with a contented hum. "That's more than enough," he assured, head tilting with a shy smirk, "So...you like me back then?"

[sinistral]

"I..." He hesitated over the words. "I enjoy spending time together. I don't mind when you touch me. I'm comfortable with you knowing what I am. But I don't know how — or if — that translates to 'liking you back.' And I don't know how much I can initiate affection."

It might not be enough for Billy. It might never be enough. He might never be enough.

[wearingthestars]

Billy nodded, a vague worried expression creeping over his brow, though not for the reasons Soldier was scared of.

"...you're not just going along with this though, right? If you want things to stay the same that okay. Really. I don't want to push or-...or make you feel like you need to do anything you don't want to."

[sinistral]

"Billy," he started, then backed away enough to look at his companion straight on. "You're not forcing me or making me feel like I have to go along with something. And if I do start feeling that way I'll try to tell you."

He lapsed into silence for a moment, trying to sort out the words. "I still struggle with knowing who I am, sometimes. With trying to reconcile something as simple as my name. If I can't resolve even that, how do I resolve the way I feel about someone else?"

[wearingthestars]

Studying his face, Billy seemed to believe him, and that expression soften again, nodding softly, and he reached to brush Soldier's hair back from his face.

"...should we work on getting to know you better?" he offered, "...not to brag or anything, but you did come looking for me..." he added with smile, "I think that shows at least a little of how you feel."

[sinistral]

"We can try," he answered, not flinching away from the touch. "But you might need a lot of patience." At least the Soldier could acknowledge his tendancy to frustrate people. He remained cognizant of the fact that Billy could decide he was too much trouble at any time.

But of the two of them, he at least had a mind for a secure shelter.

"Well, you're staying in a place with holes in the roof. I'm just being the practical one." It made him think though, because he had come to find Billy right away, and Billy had been afraid for him. "I think though that maybe I have something for you. A gift."

[wearingthestars]

"I can be patient," Billy promised easily. He just wanted to help Solider, however he could.

He laughed bashfully and glanced up at the ceiling. "How the tables have turned, huh? Does that mean I was the practical one however long ago?" He paused then, head tilting. "...a gift?" he repeated.

[sinistral]

"I will try to not frustrate you." Hopefully he'd succeed.

The Soldier made an exaggerated show of rolling his eyes. "I'm practical because you need shelter. I'm built to endure more bad weather than you are, so it doesn't work in reverse." Clearly.

He hesitated a moment though, before nodding. He hadn't planned it, but it seemed a better use of the item the Agrii had given him than holding onto himself. He unzipped his jacket enough to reach into an inner pocket, pulling out a chain.

"These were given to me by the Agrii. As far as I can tell, they're identical to the originals. Hold out your hand?" If Billy did, he'd find himself holding a set of dog tags, the slim pieces of metal showing both age and wear. They appeared genuine, consistent with the era during which the Soldier was actually a soldier.

[wearingthestars]

"You rarely do," Billy promised, a teasing smile for those rare moments they're bound to frustrate each other.

"You know, just 'cause you can endure doesn't mean you have to, right?" he reminded. His attention shifted then, and he held out his hand, blinking in wonder at the tags that were placed in it. His fingers traced over the stamped letters carefully, and his eyes jumped back up to Soldier's, cheek flush. "...You're sure?" he breathed, and then a belated and grateful- "...Thank you."

He slipped the chain over his neck, fingering the tags with a smile and giving Soldier a squeeze.

[sinistral]

"Says the man currently living in the leaky roof space." But he understood why, and in the morning he'd help Billy relocate to a more secure place. Problem (soon to be) solved.

"I'm sure." He didn't know if he was even entitled to them, given that he didn't remember most of his service. But giving them to Billy would maybe let Billy carry around a small piece of him, when they couldn't be together. If it brought Billy comfort then he considered that a good use of the tags. "They're yours now."