NETWORK | VIDEO

[mrsklover]

[The message starts off with nothing but darkness for a few long seconds. It's quiet and still until, finally, a groan comes through. Another one follows behind it and the video shifts to show it apparently just pressed into the dirt.]

Fuck...

[The video turns again, whipping around as the person holding the comm seems to drop it a few times before finally righting it, camera facing the wrong way.]

How does...fucking... Shit...

[It falls again but then is lifted back up, turned around, and at long last the owner is shown: Richie Tozier squints at the device almost like he's in pain. Which...yeah. Sort of.]

Uh... Hey everyone... [He scratches his head.] You ever get the feeling like you missed something? Or a few somethings?

Comments

[deal_me_in]

I didn't replace you! He started making business pitches after shamelessly admitting he was using my bar for his one-man band so I figured he needed to do something if he wasn't even gonna bother asking my permission.

[He smirks.]

Don't worry, you're still number one in my book. You get your tail over here and I'll pour your favorites.

[mrsklover]

You are my hero, Cayde. My favorite on this whole planet. I'll be over in just a little bit. I can't wait to hear about whatever shit happened during my siesta.

[deal_me_in]

I know.

Oh man, storytime at Cayde's! I'll need you to remind me what all you remember happening last!

[mrsklover]

Uh... [Good question.] We were finding a jail for Beck? And there was the whole trial thing? I think that was the last big thing that I can remember...

[He frowns a little.]

I know some of the people around here from then are gone. Guess that work was a waste of time?

[deal_me_in]

...

Oh man, that was like...

[He strokes his chin, squinting as he thinks.]

A really long time ago. Wouldn't call it a waste of time though. Although it's probably made people more paranoid about who comes in.

Wait, have you met my chicken?

[mrsklover]

[ Yeah, he suspected as much. Still, he sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose.

Right until Cayde mentions his chicken ]

What do you mean 'your chicken'?

[deal_me_in]

Oh my gosh where is-

Look, you can meet her once you get here.

[mrsklover]

Is her name Nuggets?

[deal_me_in]

Noooo, her name is Colonel. Don't look at her the wrong way or she might end you.

[mrsklover]

[He actually looks worried for a moment.]

Does...the chicken have powers?

[deal_me_in]

[Cayde manages to look serious for all of two seconds before he laughs, wiping away an imaginary tear.]

Oh man, your face...! But no, unless she's been hiding it from me. She has however been in battle before and faced opponents almost ten times her size so that counts for something.

[mrsklover]

The chicken?

[ Richie just blinks. ]

You know what? I need a drink. I'll meet you at the bar and you can tell me all about this fucking chicken who can take down an army. I hope her eggs are good, too. I love an omelet not from a replicator....

[deal_me_in]

Well, Tommy's been monopolizing them ever since he heard I had a chicken so I'm assuming someone approves of her eggs.

Anyway, see you soon.

[mrsklover]

[ Richie shows up just a little later and he looks alright. Tired, maybe, but alright. He grins at Cayde and waves happily. ]

Ready for my 'Welcome Back Pina Colada'!

[deal_me_in]

[Cayde will take all right. And at least Richie can still grin. The Exo waves back.

And sure enough, there is a chicken sitting on the other end of the bar with reddish brown feathers. Her head cocks in Richie's direction.]

Dang, fresh out of pineapples. And about everything else you probably need for something that fancy.

How about I just whip up the usual?

[mrsklover]

The usual is fantastic. I'll take a raincheck on the other one.

[ He looks at the chicken and cocks his head right back at it. ]

Hey, Colonel Sanders. What's shake-n-bakin? [ He walks toward it, interested. ] Where did this cute thing coming from, anyways? I don't remember a lot of chickens around.

[deal_me_in]

You got it.

[Cayde pulls out the glasses and bottles to start pouring.

Colonel meanwhile tilts her head this way and that in that typical chicken-y way, giving a quiet cluck.]

She's from home. Just walked into the bar one day.

[mrsklover]

There's a joke in that, somewhere. 'A chicken walks into a bar...'

[ Richie goes back to sit. ]

So if this is a chicken friend from your home, are you some sort of farmer? Farmer Cayde? I think there's a joke in there somewhere too. I need to write up a new routine.

[deal_me_in]

I knew you'd say something like that.

[The Exo smirks as he slides over Richie's drink.]

Nah. Though I did kind of liberate her from a farm. She decided to tag along with us when we infiltrated our city to take it back from space rhinos.

[mrsklover]

[ Richie grabs the drink and takes a long drink out of it almost immediately. Even though it feels like he was only gone a few hours, it hits the spot like an arrow. ]

Space rhinos? [ He's still too happy from that first sip of drink to really be as baffled by that idea as he should be. ] That chicken fought off space rhinos?

[deal_me_in]

Cabal. Big hulking guys in armor. They thought it was a great idea to invade home, so we had to show them how bad an idea that was for them.

[Not as simple as it sounded. The Red Legion did do a number on them and had effectively chased humanity out of the lone bastion they'd held for centuries.]

Colonel set 'em up and I laid 'em out.

[mrsklover]

[ Richie looks at the chicken and then at Cayde like he's waiting for this to all be a joke. Which is exactly what he is waiting for. When it doesn't come, he just chokes out a laugh. ]

That...is pretty fucking cool. I'm not gonna lie, it's also fucking insane and I am gonna use it in my new set for sure, but it's cool.

[deal_me_in]

[Cayde grins as he pours himself a drink. He may be leaving out details but the gist of it is true enough. Chicken distraction + Confused Cabal = Unsuspecting target for a Hunter to come in and knife 'em.

That it worked multiple times without Colonel getting startled in the least had to count for something in the chicken's favor.]

I'm telling you, she was destined to be a battle chicken. Not a feather ruffled.

[mrsklover]

Battle chicken. Did you tell Eddie that? Awesome name for a band.

[ He laughs to himself and takes another few sips of his drink.] Alright. Keep going. Tell me what's been going on with you. Besides the kick ass chicken.

[deal_me_in]

Heh! Maybe I should.

[Cayde shrugs, tipping his glass back.]

Eh, you know. Weathered a storm or two. Had another trip off-world - were you there for that one? Weird place but I kinda wish I got to ride one of the giant bird mounts they had. The weapons there are more flash than bang though.

Anyway... -oh!! You just missed the giant monster attacks.