NETWORK | VIDEO

[mrsklover]

[The message starts off with nothing but darkness for a few long seconds. It's quiet and still until, finally, a groan comes through. Another one follows behind it and the video shifts to show it apparently just pressed into the dirt.]

Fuck...

[The video turns again, whipping around as the person holding the comm seems to drop it a few times before finally righting it, camera facing the wrong way.]

How does...fucking... Shit...

[It falls again but then is lifted back up, turned around, and at long last the owner is shown: Richie Tozier squints at the device almost like he's in pain. Which...yeah. Sort of.]

Uh... Hey everyone... [He scratches his head.] You ever get the feeling like you missed something? Or a few somethings?

Comments

[mrsklover]

[ Yeah, he suspected as much. Still, he sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose.

Right until Cayde mentions his chicken ]

What do you mean 'your chicken'?

[deal_me_in]

Oh my gosh where is-

Look, you can meet her once you get here.

[mrsklover]

Is her name Nuggets?

[deal_me_in]

Noooo, her name is Colonel. Don't look at her the wrong way or she might end you.

[mrsklover]

[He actually looks worried for a moment.]

Does...the chicken have powers?

[deal_me_in]

[Cayde manages to look serious for all of two seconds before he laughs, wiping away an imaginary tear.]

Oh man, your face...! But no, unless she's been hiding it from me. She has however been in battle before and faced opponents almost ten times her size so that counts for something.

[mrsklover]

The chicken?

[ Richie just blinks. ]

You know what? I need a drink. I'll meet you at the bar and you can tell me all about this fucking chicken who can take down an army. I hope her eggs are good, too. I love an omelet not from a replicator....

[deal_me_in]

Well, Tommy's been monopolizing them ever since he heard I had a chicken so I'm assuming someone approves of her eggs.

Anyway, see you soon.

[mrsklover]

[ Richie shows up just a little later and he looks alright. Tired, maybe, but alright. He grins at Cayde and waves happily. ]

Ready for my 'Welcome Back Pina Colada'!

[deal_me_in]

[Cayde will take all right. And at least Richie can still grin. The Exo waves back.

And sure enough, there is a chicken sitting on the other end of the bar with reddish brown feathers. Her head cocks in Richie's direction.]

Dang, fresh out of pineapples. And about everything else you probably need for something that fancy.

How about I just whip up the usual?

[mrsklover]

The usual is fantastic. I'll take a raincheck on the other one.

[ He looks at the chicken and cocks his head right back at it. ]

Hey, Colonel Sanders. What's shake-n-bakin? [ He walks toward it, interested. ] Where did this cute thing coming from, anyways? I don't remember a lot of chickens around.

[deal_me_in]

You got it.

[Cayde pulls out the glasses and bottles to start pouring.

Colonel meanwhile tilts her head this way and that in that typical chicken-y way, giving a quiet cluck.]

She's from home. Just walked into the bar one day.

[mrsklover]

There's a joke in that, somewhere. 'A chicken walks into a bar...'

[ Richie goes back to sit. ]

So if this is a chicken friend from your home, are you some sort of farmer? Farmer Cayde? I think there's a joke in there somewhere too. I need to write up a new routine.

[deal_me_in]

I knew you'd say something like that.

[The Exo smirks as he slides over Richie's drink.]

Nah. Though I did kind of liberate her from a farm. She decided to tag along with us when we infiltrated our city to take it back from space rhinos.

[mrsklover]

[ Richie grabs the drink and takes a long drink out of it almost immediately. Even though it feels like he was only gone a few hours, it hits the spot like an arrow. ]

Space rhinos? [ He's still too happy from that first sip of drink to really be as baffled by that idea as he should be. ] That chicken fought off space rhinos?

[deal_me_in]

Cabal. Big hulking guys in armor. They thought it was a great idea to invade home, so we had to show them how bad an idea that was for them.

[Not as simple as it sounded. The Red Legion did do a number on them and had effectively chased humanity out of the lone bastion they'd held for centuries.]

Colonel set 'em up and I laid 'em out.

[mrsklover]

[ Richie looks at the chicken and then at Cayde like he's waiting for this to all be a joke. Which is exactly what he is waiting for. When it doesn't come, he just chokes out a laugh. ]

That...is pretty fucking cool. I'm not gonna lie, it's also fucking insane and I am gonna use it in my new set for sure, but it's cool.

[deal_me_in]

[Cayde grins as he pours himself a drink. He may be leaving out details but the gist of it is true enough. Chicken distraction + Confused Cabal = Unsuspecting target for a Hunter to come in and knife 'em.

That it worked multiple times without Colonel getting startled in the least had to count for something in the chicken's favor.]

I'm telling you, she was destined to be a battle chicken. Not a feather ruffled.

[mrsklover]

Battle chicken. Did you tell Eddie that? Awesome name for a band.

[ He laughs to himself and takes another few sips of his drink.] Alright. Keep going. Tell me what's been going on with you. Besides the kick ass chicken.

[deal_me_in]

Heh! Maybe I should.

[Cayde shrugs, tipping his glass back.]

Eh, you know. Weathered a storm or two. Had another trip off-world - were you there for that one? Weird place but I kinda wish I got to ride one of the giant bird mounts they had. The weapons there are more flash than bang though.

Anyway... -oh!! You just missed the giant monster attacks.

[mrsklover]

[ Richie shook his head about the off-world trip. Nothing like that had happened when he was here last. But that seems like a good thing, sort of, if there were giant bird mounts.

At the last bit, he goes pale, eyes huge. ]

I'm sorry. The what now?

[deal_me_in]

Giant monster attacks! There were like...four of them? Stomping and flying around different parts of the city. I didn't have time to deal with all of them but me and that Link kid took care of one of 'em.

[He fishes out his tablet and pulls up the selfie he took with Link, standing on something massive and feathery, with a pair of moose-like antlers.]

[mrsklover]

Holy shit. Okay, love that elf kid. Looks like he's having fun. But more importantly, what the fuck is that thing with the antlers?! And is it ever coming back?

[deal_me_in]

I think we had more fun than everyone else did, anyway. Took this thing for a little ride.

[Or rather, it took them for a ride as they hung on for their lack of planning.

Cayde grins, standing up to grab a giant feather that he's set on top of the liquor shelf. He holds it out to Richie.]

It was real stupid looking was what it was. Had a goose body and a moose head- kinda weird even on an alien planet. Don't worry, you won't be hearing from this thing again.

[mrsklover]

[ Richie takes the feather and spins it around in his hand. It really is huge. Imagining the animal it was attached to is a stretch too far. Like trying to imagine the enormity of a dinosaur from a leg bone. He hands it back with a short laugh. ]

Yeah. I think I am glad I skipped that. Part of me thinks I would have ended up Goose-moose food if I'd stayed around. Unless they were vegetarians, I guess. God, imagine all the trees they'd have to eat....