Plants are the Worst

[quark_assassin]

WHO: Dustin and you!
WHERE: Somewhere in the northeastern quadrant of Temba and the Hangar.
WHAT: Dustin does not take plants seriously until they make him. Later, he tries to talk to some mushrooms.
WHEN: Where the Wild Things Grow event, August 11th - September 8th.
WARNINGS: Someone needs to wash this boy's mouth out with soap and make him go to his room.

1. Northeastern Temba [OTA]

Dustin had plans. Key word, 'had.' He'd come back from Eorzea with a wealth of new tools, unique chemicals, some potions - hell, even some clothes that were more tolerable in the heat and actually seemed to fit him! It's more of a haul than he was expecting and it leaves him returning to the ship genuinely optimistic about his projects back on Agra-10.

...Well, okay, most of those warm-and-fuzzy feelings end up being constructs of the Agrii and their incredibly effective compulsion abilities, but even after Dustin comes to this realization he finds that they're not totally foreign. For the first time in several years, he has a place that he wants to go back to and improve.

That feeling is what he's trying to focus on now.

It's hours later, back on the surface of Agra-10, Temba. What should have been the road south from the hangar. What it is instead is a miserable slog through too-tall grass and prickly bushes encroaching on just a bare sliver of exposed, cracked asphalt that winds through towering trees blotting out the summer sun, forcing him on a winding route with no static landmarks to speak of. The leatherworking knife he brought back along with his crafter's gloves help him slice through the more onerous vegetation in his way, but it's like he's brought a pocket knife to the heart of the Amazon. The walk is slow, hard, and annoying.

Maybe I can mix up something more effective back at the shop, Dustin considers, grimacing as he pushes aside a blanket of vines dangling in his face. Some of them are as thick as his arm - twitching like one, too. He has to step carefully over their piled-up and tangled mass in the middle of the road. There were a few reagents that had endothermic reactions with each other. If I can isolate the most efficient ingredients and find a way to amplify the cooling effect, maybe I could freeze out some of these irritating plant fuckers from the roots. That'll show 'em.

Something moves next to his ankle. Dustin glances down, just in time to see one of the vines suddenly start to tighten around his leg. He gasps in surprise and hops out of the way--

--Only to feel his feet drop out from underneath him as a mesh of thin roots masquerading as solid ground gives way. This was likely a natural depression made from rubble blocking the road that he just didn't notice under all of the plant cover. Interesting, he thinks, numbly, just before landing in a heap on the leaf-littered dirt at the bottom. The fall isn't far enough to injure him, but the shock and impact still leave him dazed for several seconds.

Then, Dustin looks up. The roots are growing back.

"--H-Hey! Hey!" he yelps in panic, stumbling upright on unsteady legs to scrabble at the edges of the pit. It's about eight feet deep and the sides (or at least, the side he's currently clawing at) are too crumbly to get a good grip with his fingers. "Wait! Fuck!"

2. Temba Hangar [OTA]

Several days later, Dustin returns to the hangar feeling a lot more prepared than when he left it. Not only was he able to make it back to his shop (eventually) and find it relatively unscathed from the storm, but also he has done something he never thought he'd consent to and picked up an expertise. These little mushroom guys - Funfronds, according to the 'Dictionary' - clearly have some kind of negative effect on the overactive plant life around them, and they're intelligent enough to be communicated with so they can discover why, potentially. Dustin feels confident he could have picked up their language with enough patient observation and time, however he is finding himself woefully lacking in both time and patience at the moment. Desperate measures must be taken.

So here he is, sweaty and exhausted from yet another long walk through the aggressive forest, back to where he remembers seeing the Funfronds when they disembarked the ships. There was a crack in the wall, surrounded by glowing moss...but surely he's not the only one chasing this clue here.

Comments

1.

[crystalmaster]

Radley is walking cautiously through the mess, trying to get some idea of what can be done to get rid of it all, when he hears a voice from the ground. He pauses, listening. He definitely recognizes that voice. They got off on the wrong foot, to say the least, but he's not vindictive and he's certainly not going to just leave the poor kid stranded even though he was insulting.

He runs over to the pit in concern. The roots are growing back far too fast. He swipes at them with a machete he'd found, trying to cut them away from covering the hole at least long enough to rescue the guy.

"I have a rope!" he calls. "I'll send it down!"

He throws one end of it into the hole. "Can you reach it?"

[quark_assassin]

Dustin pauses in his struggling when he hears rapidly approaching footsteps. His first thought is that this might be some kind of predator taking advantage of an easy target, but he quickly throws that paranoid thought out the window when he figures out the cadence - a biped, stride suggesting someone around six feet tall. Probably humanoid, probably someone else headed south from the ships.

Rather than being relieved, though, Dustin is mortified. Needing some random asshole to come fish him out of a hole in the ground? He might just die of embarrassment. Thankfully Radley starts cutting away the roots and throws down his rope before Dustin has too long to stew in his melancholy, and potentially try and find a way not to be saved.

He recognizes the man's voice immediately. "Radley?" he calls back, his own voice cracking with surprise. Dustin was definitely not expecting the hyperventilating new guy to be coordinated enough to pull off a rescue attempt, let alone have the materials to do so. Is that a motherfucking machete?!

Whatever, questions for later. Dustin paces a quick circle underneath the dangling end of the rope. "I--I think so! Gimme a second."

A beat, as he reaches an arm over his head to gauge the remaining distance.

"--I'll need to jump for it," Dustin decides. "You should tie the other end to something - the sides are unstable, I might pull you in."

[crystalmaster]

"There's not a lot of options of things to tie it to," Radley says. "I don't trust a tree.... Wait, here's some kind of old pillar...."

He cuts a few vines away from it and ties the rope around it. "Okay, try that!"

[quark_assassin]

As soon as Radley gives him the go-ahead, Dustin hops up and clutches onto the end of the rope, feet scrabbling at the sides of the pit to give him a bit of extra leverage. His new gloves do a much better job at holding on than his bare hands ever would - which is fortunate, because he needs to start climbing immediately to outpace the roots growing back, and a pair of sweaty palms would not have helped in the slightest.

Still, the boy's arms have the strength of wet pasta and he's still quite shaky from the fall. Those last couple of feet to the surface are slow going. Dustin ends up having to swipe away several exploring roots that would have otherwise grown over his head as he clambers over the edge, puffing and wheezing from the effort

[crystalmaster]

Radley stands by, watching tensely. He hopes not to have to cut vines away now, as he doesn't want to run the risk of his aim slipping and hurting Dustin. He does try to help push away those last roots. When Dustin finally makes it to the top, Radley reaches to guide him away from the pit in case any roots snake out to try to pull him back in.

"This is like a bad science-fiction movie," Radley mutters.

[quark_assassin]

Dustin allows Radley to pull him up - although 'allow' might be a strong word in this situation, since the boy weighs next to nothing and is completely boneless from exhaustion and stress - and flops onto his back, chest heaving. He squeezes his eyes shut as the inevitable subconscious berating starts. That was, what, a three-foot rope climb? With supporting wall? I'm so fucking out of shape.

There's silence for a few moments. The roots over the pit grow back but don't extend any further from where they started; seems whatever tree produced them wanted to maintain its existing root system rather than trap anyone deliberately. Those plants probably exist, too. Dustin sighs heavily, though it's masked somewhat by him continuing to catch his breath.

"Something to get used to, apparently," he eventually grumbles back.

[crystalmaster]

"Aren't we supposed to fix this, not get used to it?" Radley retorts. He stays alert, tense, not convinced they won't be attacked by something that really is deliberately after them.

He sighs after a moment, not really expecting an answer to that. "Are you okay?"

1

[kree_soldieress]

Dealing with evil, overgrown plants was, surprisingly enough, something Lauri-Ell was very experienced with. She was, after all, Kree, and served the Alliance. It came with the territory. SO she had been doing her best to make her way through the city, intending to win her way to the Civics Center to acquire her hammer. With that no plant would stand in her way.

Of course her intentions proved to be less pressing when she heard a voice calling out in distress. She moves toward the noise and finds the place the roots are growing back over.

"That is unkind of you," she told the plants before going down on a knee to start tearing them apart. "I shall soon have you free, shouting person."

[quark_assassin]

Dustin's own panicked efforts at trying to find a side of the pit that will support his weight prevent him from hearing Lauri-Ell approach until she's almost directly overhead. A snapped twig as she kneels down gets him to glance sharply upwards, just in time to catch sight of the woman's face peering back down at him before the roots grow over and block his view.

--And then are rapidly pulled up again with her bare fucking hands. Dustin instinctively backs away from the wall with a sharp breath. He shouldn't be so surprised - the roots must be quite weak to have broken under his weight and a little push - but the sheer ferocity Lauri-Ell puts into the task, combined with the calmness of her voice, sets Dustin immediately on-edge.

"R-Right!" the boy stammers, trying to put on a determined face in spite of his shot nerves and hammering heart. His eyes dart around the perimeter. "I'll, uh--I'll try to find a place I can climb up."

A beat. "The hole's bigger than it looks up top," he continues abruptly. "You might collapse the plants from underneath you if you're not careful."

[kree_soldieress]

"Do not worry," she says as she keeps tearing back the roots. "Once I have enough pulled back, I will haul you up."

Still, when he says that, she almost laughs.

"The hole is not so deep for me as it is for you. I am quite taller than humans."

Truly, at six and a half feet, had she fallen into it, her hands could have found the edge to haul herself up. Especially with her strength.

"Just find a place where the wall is most straight, so I do not have to lean at a weird angle for you."

[quark_assassin]

Dustin does not try to argue this point with her. He's seen a picture of Lauri-Ell in the 'Dictionary' and knows that she looks quite a bit taller and more muscly than humans, but it's hard to get a sense of just how much without a reference to someone else. Glancing up at her from this angle doesn't help much, aside from the fact that her hands swiping away at the roots look about as big as his whole head. That alone is enough to convince Dustin that she's probably not overestimating her capabilities.

Instead he nods his compliance, then scuttles over to the wall of the pit that is closest to making right angles with the top and floor where he not-so-patiently waits. It occurs to him a couple seconds later that he's not sure how Lauri-Ell plans to 'haul him up.' By his arms? The back of his jacket? His hair? The thought makes him suddenly very nervous.

"So--do you want my hands, or...?"

[kree_soldieress]

"Hold your arms up, as far as you can," the woman says as she gets the roots torn up further. There he was. Now that she knew exactly where, she could circle around to where he was to better tear up roots and lift him out.

[quark_assassin]

Hoisted up under the arms like a toddler, then. Dustin's face colors with embarrassment from the anticipation alone. Really hope no one else is around watching this. Might never recover.

Still, he's not going to turn down help when it so readily presents itself, even if it has the potential to permanently mar his reputation. Dustin watches Lauri-Ell with keen eyes while she continues to clear away the roots closest to him. Then, when he gauges that the top of the pit is open enough for him to get out, he oh-so-tentatively reaches his arms up above his head.

2 - Look, it's your favorite person!

[nightmare_scientist]

"They are not edible!" Comes a simple, yet very direct comment tossed Dustin's way while Wilson stalks past the waiting teenager.

Wilson is just as fed up with the situation as everyone else. Has he tried catching and eating these strange mushroom-like creatures? Of course he has. He has hunted weirder things in the Constant and at the end of the day food is food. And in his experience different types of mushrooms also came with different effects on a person's health, so there is no reason for him not to try cooking these little fiends.

omg

[quark_assassin]

Dustin's response to hearing Wilson's voice is downright Pavlovian at this point. He whips upright from his crouch at the wall, back like a spring, eyes wide and brow set with immediate frustration. He does not want to engage the man. He doesn't even want to challenge him for leaving him behind to clean up his mess at the Alchemists' Guild. Nothing positive could come from this.

But Wilson's simple statement already makes it so Dustin has to intervene. "Fucking good," he snaps. "Last thing I need is you trying to hunt my research. You--"

A beat. Dustin's face settles into an exhausted glower.

"--You already tried, haven't you? That's how you know."

And is also probably the reason why Dustin hasn't had any luck finding the little bastards yet. Fucking typical.

[nightmare_scientist]

The shrug Dustin receives in return is of the dismissive kind. Like the question the teenager just asked is outright ridiculous. “Of course. Caught some even.” A smaller version of his shadow hands springs forth from the ground, making a grabbing motion. “Not worth the hassle.”

What he isn’t mentioning is the little creatures fighting back.

[quark_assassin]

Face meets palm. Dustin hangs there for a few seconds before dragging his hand away, scooping back his disheveled bangs with an exasperated sigh as he stares into the middle distance.

"None still with you, I take it?"

[nightmare_scientist]

"No." The answer is cut short, almost as if the question itself has been an insult. And he has no intention of going into any details regarding his experience with these fake mushrooms.

"What do you want with them?"

[quark_assassin]

Dustin could take some small, sadistic pleasure in hearing the sound of irritation and defeat in Wilson's voice, but he's far too annoyed with the man's presence in general to relish it. Much better to take advantage of whatever ground the scientist is willing to give; it's not like Dustin can make him leave, not if he's already on a mission.

...Actually, it's probably a good idea to figure out what that mission is before he relents to getting Wilson involved, isn't it? Dustin shoots him a wary glare.

"What do you want with them?" he fires back. "Your last 'experiment' with them sounds like it was a failure, and you don't seem interested in having anything to do with them anymore. So, why are you here?"

3(!!!). Temba Mines

[quark_assassin]

You would think Dustin's first day back planet-side would make him more wary of big pits in the ground. And yet here he is, camped out next to this huge hole by Temba's city center as patient as he can be, waiting. He's been hanging around here for the better part of three days now, careful to give himself enough time around dusk to make it back to some kind of indoor shelter, but prompt enough to arrive as soon after the last Thorntooth flower closes at dawn as he can get away with. There's no time to waste. The plants aren't getting any less aggressive the longer he sits here - a fact made evident as Dustin swipes away a large leaf tickling the back of his neck that wasn't there just a few minutes ago.

The rampant overgrowth is a necessary evil in this case, however; it gives him cover so he can spy on the Funfronds. Their 'Dictionary' entry mentioned that they frequented the mines, and as this is the closest entrance to where Dustin's home base is, that's where he's parked. The change of scenery has borne fruit for the past couple of days of careful observation. Combined with his new Communications expertise, Dustin thinks he has a pretty good idea now of how to understand the little mushroom creatures now. More importantly, he thinks he has a good idea of how to talk back.

There's no information on what the Funfronds like to eat, and his watching hasn't filled in that blank at all, but Dustin can guess based on Earth fungus that they probably prefer decomposing matter of some kind. To that end, he's collected a bit of less-offensive old fruits from the Greenhouse and stashed them in a pile near where he sees the Funfronds most often descend into the mines. A peace offering, he hopes. Even if they're not fond of the stuff, Dustin is waiting in a neutral squat several yards away to try and explain himself to any mushroom scouts that take interest.

[trpmods]

It isn’t until late in the day, nearing the point where Dustin might be considering taking shelter, that there is finally motion. This comes in the form of motion, first from what might look like a smear of gray-blue not too different from the stone of the mine itself. Closer look would find that this Funfrond sports a more tiered structure, with dark purple-blue coloration to the frilled cap. At first it pauses, leaving its little, spindly feet in touch with the ground. Then it rushes forward on those same small legs to the pile of fruit.

This is also carefully regarded for a while, and the creature looks around as if seeking a source. Does it perhaps know that these fruits should not be here? That they are not from anywhere nearby? Perhaps. Still, it comes forward, and settles down amid the fruit. Only then does it start swaying in place a little, its arms coming up to make a waving shape in the air and twisting. It’s a beckoning gesture, and as it settles there waving its welcome, another handful of the creatures dart from the shade and toward the offering. Each is different, though they more or less share similarities in hue, even if their individual forms are all very unique.

[quark_assassin]

Dustin waits to do anything to betray his interest in the Funfronds until they are comfortable enough to descend upon the fruit in earnest. This is partly to make sure he isn't too forward and accidentally causes them to scatter, but also because he feels like he's making an interesting observation right now. So they are at least interested in decaying food matter. For eating or for generalized cleanup of their space? They don't look offended by it. I wonder if they would react the same way to non-obvious food sources like rotting logs or--

Not the time. Dustin shakes his head slightly to focus, then carefully leans forward, holding one arm in front of him. His first and middle fingertips rest on the ground - the 'legs' of his hand - while his thumb and little finger are lifted out to the sides as the 'arms.' Faux Funfrond thus created, Dustin makes his hand wave a welcome back, then shimmy a more complicated dance of a question.

[Can we talk?]

[trpmods]

The motion isn’t what draws their attention. No, they turn toward him enmass the moment his fingers touch the ground. Most of the group looks ready to shy back, but the first to have come out tilts its cap toward the side, as if pondering. Then it turns back to the others and focuses on them for a moment.

[{…} facing them. Hide and see.

The others gathered flee, and while the communication isn’t fully explainable, part given to the others present through methods Dustin would not be able to see or sense, the other Funfronds seem to understand and rush off. Though not before picking up the fruits and taking the items with them into the shadows. When they are gone the solitary Funfrond turns back to Dustin.

[Can speaking you do? {…} thought not.]

[quark_assassin]

Dustin's head tilts in open curiosity. These odd gaps in the Funfronds' communication is an issue he's noticed in his studies and has several theories for. Plenty of species he knows of have subtle forms of communication that cannot necessarily be replicated by others, generally in the form of things like pheromones or extremely low or high sound waves - the latter being especially likely in this case, given how the Funfronds respond to ground contact vibrations. Dustin recognizes that, without more time to figure out exactly what he's missing and build something to compensate, these gaps are likely to remain. He'll just have to try and work around them.

[Mostly.]

His hand pauses as Dustin works out the best way to explain. He witnessed a display yesterday where it seemed like a Funfrond was trying to get another one's attention, but it was distracted and didn't notice. The first reacted in irritation, giving a gesture that his brain translated roughly to the human phrase, 'Are you deaf?' Except, the expression fell apart when he considered that the Funfronds probably don't hear anyway. Now Dustin repeats the gesture, turning it on himself and removing the accusatory question to somewhat awkwardly say instead:

[I am lacking a sense.] Then, with a bit more confidence, [Some gaps. Understand?]

[trpmods]

Still the Funfrond considers him, little eyes blinding. What an interesting thing, that gaze might be seen as saying. Like he’s something behaving outside of expectations.

[Speaking well for animal are you. But no read {…}? Lack {…} receiver? Not taste spores?]

There it is the barrier in language perhaps. Dustin cannot sense the spores the Funfrond is putting out that are part of the language their people use.