Just stop pretending you feel the same

[demjiin]

WHO: Kaz Brekker, Kyle Broflovski, Billy Kaplan
WHERE: the Hospital
WHAT: Kaz getting Kyle's lack of a hand looked at
WHEN: Early November
WARNINGS: talk of a severed hand, possible medical stuff


In truth, Kaz probably didn't need to make the trip with Kyle, but he wanted to at least find Kyle a Healer. Kaz did not feel guilty exactly since guilt as a feeling, in general, was foreign to him but he did recognize that he owed Kyle a debt. The payment of that debt meant that Kaz was determined to overcompensate to pay that debt back and then some. He first wanted to be certain a possible infection was stopped and any pain alleviated. Likewise, Kaz intended to talk to whoever was tending to Kyle about the possibility of joining one of the groups he was putting together that were meant to explore beyond Sh'Ka. After the madness of last month Kaz had a grim sort of confirmation to his speculation regarding the reality that Billy made earlier this year.

As a well-marked building on the map, Kaz was confident enough to walk into the hospital itself then it was easy enough to follow some of the tidier hallways to the first exam room he could find. Kaz used the tip of his cane to wrap against the doorjamb three times. It had a very loud rapport for the 'knock, knock, knock'.

Comments

[kyley_b]

Kyle hates hospitals.

Oh, he could give you a long list of reasons why, but he won't because he really prefers not to talk about it. Suffice to say Kyle has had plenty of things done to his body against his will. Really, this is just another, he supposed.

At the knocking Kyle looks over. "You know, I always assumed you had a bigass sword hidden in that thing."

[wearingthestars]

After everything that had gone down the hospital's been busy. Billy's tired and still more than a little shaken from everything, and he waves a hand at the door open it with his magic he finishes tidying up from his last patient.

"Come in, sorry- I'm just-" he looks back over his shoulder and pauses in surprise when he sees Kyle. "Sorry, everything's been kind of...um-" he dismisses, turning to face the boys and abandoning the red tinged mess of bedding he'd been trying to clean up.

"Hey."

[kyley_b]

Kyle looks at the bedding.

"Billy, if that's blood I'm not entirely sure that you're making me feel better," he says dryly.

He holds up his bandaged wrist.

"Kaz cut my hand off."

[demjiin]

Kaz cut a sidelong glance at Kyle's first comment.

"No, it's solid all the way through."

But Billy spoke right afterward, which drew Kaz's attention. It might have been awkward to speak about it first but Kyle saved Kaz the trouble. This was also the first time Kaz had seen Billy outside of the reality that Billy's magic had made. Though he was just as blunt as he was then.

"Last month was hell on everyone."

Kaz folded his hands on his cane.

"I wanted to find a Healer for Kyle, here, but I think your magic will do. Aside from that, I also wanted to speak to you about a separate matter."

Technically Kaz had intended to speak with whatever Healer was able to help Kyle rather than Billy personally, but this would work too.

[wearingthestars]

"I didn't cause the bleeding, I stopped it," Billy defended, but he was stopped in his tracks when Kyle so bluntly explained the situation. He blinked a few time sand looked between the two boys.

There didn't seem to be any active hostility, but it was still a little strange to see them together after that revelation.

"Umm...wow. Okay. Uh- Let me-...let me have a look, I'll see what I can do," he agreed finally, "How are you feeling? What's the pain level like? Any fever or signs of infection or anything?"

omg sorry guys i didn't see the notif!

[kyley_b]

Friendships with people who have tried to kill him were sort of Kyle's thing.

"Thanks." He held out his left arm. "It hurts," Kyle admitted. "I've been medicating myself pretty decently. And I'm still on antibiotics 'cause it looked like it might be infected. I think it's getting better? I dunno."

Once Billy unwrapped the bandages, he would be able to see that the hand at least had been cut off very cleanly. (It was a little disturbing, actually, as it implied Kaz was stringer than he looked and in possession of an extremely sharp blade.) It had been cauterized unprofessionally, and the redness spreading up his forearm did speak of some kind of infection.

"It looked worse before," Kyle said.

[wearingthestars]

It would be concerning if it didn't hurt. Billy tried to maintain a calming expression as he unwrapped the bandages, biting back his shock and wishing he could scrub the memory of these sorts of sights from his mind. They really needed someone who actually worked as a doctor in the real world.

He swallowed thickly and nodded faintly, gingerly guiding Kyle to turn his arm for him so he could examine the damage from all sides.

"...You probably should've come sooner," he noted, looking concerned, "I can definitely help, it just depends which kind of help you're looking for?" The traditional solution or the magical.

And then finally a glance to Kaz, "This might take a while, how pressing is that personal matter?" Was it on the same level as a missing limb?

[demjiin]

"Not personal just separate."

Kaz replied with his hands still folded on top of his cane

"It's not terribly pressing but I would like you to hear about it sooner rather than later. I am wanting to put together an expedition outside the city. Whatever freedom is available to us it will be outside Temba and the discovery of Sh'Ka now raises more questions than it answers. There are many drawbacks, one of which is the storms, and another is the possibility that we will become cut off from the Network outside the city limits. But between what was done with your magic and whatever last month was things are escalating. As long as we stay captives we are at someone else's mercy. Are you willing to go with a group?"

[kyley_b]

Kyle looked over at Kaz with his eyebrows raised. "Not only captives, but captives who are having their weird shit used against them," he pointed out.

"First Billy, now John. What's next, you know? Got any horrifying secrets, Kaz? Maybe that'll be the basis for the next thing."

He looked at his stump, frowning, then sighed and looked back at Billy. "I had John look at it. I didn't really wanna bug you. I know you're sensitive. And your brother was freaking out enough, I figured he might need to talk to you or something. He seems to think you can magic me up some kind of replacement." His voice cracked on the last word and he looked away from both Kaz and Billy, lips pressed into a thin line.

He would not cry. Not in front of them.

[wearingthestars]

"Right um-...maybe?" Billy half agreed to Kaz's question. "Probably. Just...let me think about it sometime outside of work."

He gave Kyle a look at the idea that whatever sensitivities he might have would keep him from treating Kyle.

"..." Billy offered a squeeze to Kyle's thigh, wanting to reassuring without leaping to make promises he wasn't sure he could keep.

"I might be able to," he agreed, "...Let's...um...let's make sure you're healing right first and see what we can do, okay? We'll figure it out."

[demjiin]

Kaz nodded.

"Not to give you a timetable but I am wanting to go before the snow gets too bad."

Kaz had not looked at Kyle until now, but his dark eyes flicked toward the stump of Kyle's wrist.

"I've already talked to Stark about making you a prosthetic replacement for the hand you lost, Kyle."

Never say that Kaz wasn't thorough.

[kyley_b]

Never the most tactful of people under the best circumstances, his current situation hadn't done much to help matters. He thought Billy was sensitive and yes, maybe it would be too much for him to handle.

"You should definitely go before the snow really hits," Kyle butts in. "They have the Donner Party where you're from?" It was hard to tell if he was joking or not.

Kyle looked over at Kaz. "Awwww, you really DO care," he said, mouth twitching up in a little smile. "And that's cool. I don't really care who helps, to be totally honest. I'd be - well, not HAPPY, but like... okay? Yeah. I'd be okay with a fucking claw situation if it meant regaining some function back."

He looked at his stump again. "You can adapt to anything," he said softly. Whether or not he was telling the other two this or himself was a little unclear.

[wearingthestars]

"Right, yeah, um- I will think about it when I'm done with Kyle," he promised, pushing the matter aside for now as loss of limb was definitely the more pressing issue.

"A prosthetic is definitely an option," Billy agreed, pulling on some gloves so he could examine properly. "But that comes a little later, once we're sure you're healing up on track.

"We do have a few people here though with some insight to what you're going through. They might be a good resource, or...you know...good people to talk with."

[demjiin]

Kaz had no idea who the Donner Party was, but in this context, it couldn't be anything good. Kaz was used to going to non-medics for medical treatment, too, so his thoughts on Billy's ability to handle this were a lot more callous. Kyle's comment made Kaz curl his lip with disgust. His first impulse was to deny it but then decided it would probably be better if it made him seem more human.

"If you mean other people who have lost a limb just say that."

Definitely more callous. Though the fact he was sticking around might be saying more than he thinks.

[kyley_b]

Kyle submitted to the poking and prodding, not particularly happy about it but accepting that it was in his best interest.

He raised his brows at Kaz, smiling sweetly. "You know what I like about you, Kaz? No sugar coating." He looked back at Billy. "You see this shit? He's more emotionally constipated than your brother, it's sort of amazing. I love it."

He pursed his lips as Billy poked at him. "And I get the feeling you're trying to get me to talk about MY feelings with another amputee. Which is sweet."

"Look. I know all of you are fucking... mega superhero space wizard robots and shit. And I'm just that dipshit redhead you picked up from the most boring version of Earth. But while this might top the charts for worst thing to happen to me, it's like... at least it was an accident. Kaz wasn't TRYING to hurt me, not really." He looked at Kaz. "And shut up, you were acting in self defense, don't even try to argue it. You didn't have a master plan to kill me, like some of my friends have. So like... whatever. I'll be okay. I don't need to cry on anybody's shoulder."

[wearingthestars]

Billy bristled a little at Kaz's blunt way of speaking, clearly not as amused by it as Kyle seemed to be.

"I don't see what was wrong with how I said it..."

He nodded, and though he frowned at Kyle's dismissive words he noted- "I was thinking they could offer more than just that. Practically- they know a lot more than I do about what it's like to live like this. They might have adaptive solutions, or other insights that could help." Though he did think Kyle definitely needed to work through the trauma of it still.

[demjiin]

Oh...Kay, then. Kaz wasn't sure what to make of what Kyle said since it was both complimentary and negative at the same time. There weren't many who liked any of Kaz's qualities so it didn't surprise him when Billy didn't either.

"There's nothing inherently wrong with how you said it, but call it what it is. It saves more time for all involved."

But tended to make others dislike you.

"You may have a point about assistive devices, though."

And talking through your feelings is something that someone rarely does on the advice of anyone else, anyway. It was better if Billy didn't bring that up.

[kyley_b]

Kyle sighed heavily. "Okay, okay. Find me someone else who was dumb enough to get their fucking hand chopped off, and I'll talk to them about how to like... use a prosthetic." Because he was suddenly realising he had no idea how to. Had no idea about where to go from here at all, really.

It made him scared. Really scared. But he was in front of two other young men, and his fear of being seen as weak was greater.

[wearingthestars]

"It's called bedside manner." And if Kyle didn't seem to be glad for Kaz's company Billy would certainly have tried to usher him out by now, not thinking this kind of callous bluntness was appropriate right now. Maybe in Kaz's world, but not in Billy's.

"First, you're not dumb. So I don't wanna hear that again. And second, there's three people I know who've lost their arm. Between all of them I'm sure one of them would be willing to help you out. And I will too, obviously. Medically and...whatever else you want. You know that. This is a big thing. There's not one right way to deal with it."