revivalproject | Network Post: Video

Entry tags:

Network Post: Video

[Luke looks a little annoyed at something off screen before looking up to the camera.]

Prosthetic limbs. I'm sure I've seen an arm, and I know we've got some cybernetic residents. Do we have something set up for those of us with them, like, repairs, maintenance, charging if need be? Mine was damaged before I got here and I didn't get a chance to get the synth skin repaired, which is just vaguely awkward, because it means crap can get in and it's harder to clean out.

[He huffs and blows his fringe from his eyes.]

Yeah. Just looking for connect with the others who have a similar situation. Talk solutions.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Ezra sighs.

"Whether Master Yoda and Master Kenobi and...Senator Organa, I guess, made the best possible choices in the middle of all that, I can't really say. They did what they could, to protect you and Leia both, I do believe that. And then yes, they all had to figure out how to live with it, and maybe that changed them in ways that weren't entirely for the best. Here and now, Obi-wan is still very much still figuring out how to live with it all."

"They did what they thought was best. I just don't think not telling us about each other was necessarily a good move. Especially once we met."

He's quiet for another few moments.

"Ezra? Do you know what happened on Mustafar?"

He nods slowly. "When the Agrii sent us to Coruscant - the Jedi there tried to help us in all the ways they could, but there wasn't much time. The suggested an amplified form of shared mediation. To bond, to share burdens. But they didn't expect-"

Well, how could they have possibly known the scope of damage survivors of the Jedi Purge were carrying around?

He clears his throat. "That part was more like of a, uh. Uncontrolled flashback."

Luke looks at Ezra with a steady, heavy gaze.

"What happened on Mustafar to make Vader into the mostly mechanical monster that I fought?"

Ezra stares back, expression set to stubborn. This isn't his story to tell.

Then he abruptly gathers up his spindle and ball of wool to shove into his cloak pockets.

"We should go find Obi-wan."

Luke's gaze isn't challenging, it's calm and neutral and irritatingly understanding. "Do you want me to ask Obi-Wan that question?"

"No. But you have a right to know, and I won't tell you without his permission," Ezra replies, aiming for a similar level of calm yet missing the mark, a little.

He's trying to be fair to both Luke and Obi-wan, though.

"... that's fair," he agrees. "We should probably give him some space for a while, though. Let him put himself back together."

"Hmmm," Ezra replies noncommittally.

There's something to be said for giving Obi-Wan space, yes, but for one thing he'd like to give the man a hug, and for another he isn't sure that for Obi-wan, master thought he is, meditation doesn't occasionally end up being less a helpful way of processing and more along the lines of lost in his own head.

So the padawan closes his eyes and lightly reaches out along the bond he has his master to get a better send where on that line Obi-wan might. Ezra hadn't been willing to do that when he was angry, but he's much calmer now. Worried, with a underlying steely determination to see this conversation through, but not angrry.

Ezra has really good intuition.

As he reaches out, there’s clearly barriers erected around the Jedi. The only crack in his defense being one that only Ezra can worm his way into. Simply because of their promise and thus not completely shutting him out.

Obi-Wan is still guarded though. Trying to meditate and find come calm, yet still trembling with grief, shame, and guilt under the surface. Desperately trying to be the good Jedi and to be strong. Yet broken with reopened wounds that stubbornly refuse to heal.

Ezra opens his eyes, frowning.

"Look, this entire situation sucks," he says frankly, after mulling it all over a moment. "But I'm pretty sure what's going to happen if we leave him alone is he's going shove down a lot of self-blame until he can fake fine, but it won't actually be any kind of better. And, well, I doubt wondering whether you'll decide you hate him, too, helps either."

"... why would I- okay, right, can't tell me without his permission. I'm not going to hate him. I don't hate anyone. I mostly forgave Father, Obi-Wan cannot have done anything close to what he did."

Well, that was the hitch, wasn't it? Both Luke and Obi-wan loved Anakin and responses when someone you love being hurt in involved aren't always reasonable.

"No, of course he didn't," Ezra sighs.

I'm coming to you Ezra tries to send to Obi-wan. It's the clearest message he's tried to send from farther than face to face, but he bets the intent will carry.

Message received. Obi-Wan tenses, both physically and mentally. He’s unsure if he’s ready to face a talk that he doesn’t want to have.

And while Luke gives a good impression of serenity, there's an undercurrent of uncertainty as he follows Ezra, hands folded in front of him and trying to keep his thoughts to himself.

Ezra isn't completely sure he's not steering them all into a painful conversation with no upside, either, but...

He's done the sitting in guilt and awful silences and avoidance. That definitely hadn't gone anywhere good.

Up this temple's small version of a spire they go. Without preamble, Ezra goes directly to sit beside Obi-wan, letting concern and affection drift into their bond.

"Luke wants to know about Mustafar. I don't mind telling him, but I told him I wouldn't do it behind your back," he says quietly.

Obi-Wan is there with his eyes closed, trying to be as serene as he can under the circumstances. The flickering light of the crystals playing across his form. It’s only when Ezra sits and speaks that he stirs. His eyes opening to look at the crystal, watching the dancing flames within them.

“I appreciate that.” He says quietly, and he means it. “It’s a conversation I should have with him. Though I’m uncertain if I’m ready for it.”

Luke doesn't sit. Luke waits back a bit more, not intruding, letting Obi-Wan sort out if he wants to tell him or wants Ezra to tell him or neither.

"There's at least one future," Ezra points out, as gently as he can, "Where it looks like you'll never be the kind of ready you want to be. Or Luke would know these things already. Do you know what you need?"

“I may never be ready,” Obi-Wan admits. He will be truthful with that much. Talking about that moment was infinitely more difficult than facing his own clone troopers who wanted to execute him.

“No, I don’t know what I need. Otherwise I would have found it by now. If it hadn’t been for what happened on Coruscant you still wouldn’t know. I haven’t even told Padme all the details. About what happened to Anakin.”

"No, that one- I didn't agree at the time, but I get why Ben and Master Yoda didn't tell me before our run in. They were worried that I would go to Vader for answers, or be scared away from learning about the Force. It didn't matter if they were ready or not. I wasn't." He hadn't been when he found out either, but the horror and shock of the moment had arguably shielded him from possible anger or rage. He'd been too burned out for it.

Well, if Luke says he wasn't ready, Ezra won't argue with that. Maybe, even after Luke had been knighted, that hadn't been the right time for that topic, either, although that part Ezra is more skeptical about.

"Ok." Ezra looks back towards Obi-wan. "I meant that I said. I know it's not my responsibility, but I'd rather help you with this burden, if I can, than not. So..I can tell him what I saw."

He offers out a hand toward Obi-wan. "Or just be here with you, if you want."

“You’re not leaving me much option here,” Obi-Wan points out. Ezra was driving a hard bargain and he would be lying if he said he didn’t feel a bit cornered by the two of them.

But Obi-Wan had never been one to really run away. Avoid and deflect yes, but he didn’t run away. It seemed he had to face this one way or another, though not entirely on his own terms. At least if Luke decided to hate him for the rest of his days, there was still two babies that loved him.

Deciding not to answer Ezra just yet, Obi-Wan turns his attention to Luke. “You truly believe you are ready for this?” If he was a true Skywalker he knew that Luke would rush head in, insisting he was ready, though likely to find out he wasn’t after all.

Luke isn't his father, though. He's learned a few hard lessons about rushing in thoughtlessly. He hums and comes slightly closer, still standing, still with his hands clasped and somewhat closed off.

"Honestly? I don't know. I don't know what it is I don't know, so I can't say if I'm 'ready' or not." He can't say he's ready for something that could be anything. "I came through the other side of losing my hand and Vader's revelation. And my anger at you and Master Yoda. I came through Vader threatening to go after Leia and hand her to the Emperor. I don't know, but I think I can handle it."

Ezra shrugs, still holding his hand out.

"You can tell me to go away and not talk about stuff that's not really mine to talk about, too, and I'll do that. Or - whatever other options you think would actually help."

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject