revivalproject | I am learning to trust the journey

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I am learning to trust the journey

WHO: Billy, Soldier
WHERE: Soldier's hideout
WHAT: Awkward sleepover? Avoiding Tommy
WHEN: The night of the fight
WARNINGS: TBD?

Billy teleported part of the way there, and started walking. It gave him time to think, not that there hadn't been plenty of that all ready. He really thought he was doing what was right. It wasn't the disagreement that bothered him so much as the lack of control. To be told he couldn't do something, that he wasn't allowed. And then Tommy had deleted their conversation, taking that choice from him too.

And he knew it was a sensitive subject. Beyond sensitive. But this wasn't like that. It was a few scans maybe, and with Billy's consent.

He sighed, still going back and forth in his mind as to whether he was in the wrong. He just needed to get out of the house. They both needed some space.

Billy wondered if Soldier had found him yet. Probably a while ago. He glanced around, trying to see if he could spot him, but as far as he could tell he was alone.

He pulled out his phone.
I'm almost there. You're right behind me, aren't you?

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It was strange for the Soldier to consider that someone could find comfort in his presence. Once was a fluke, a lack of good judgement. For it to happen again, for it to be another person, made him question his own insistence that he wasn't good at personal relationships. Weapons didn't make friends; he was only playing pretend.

Times when those thoughts encroached were hard, and took a lot for him to get through. Right now he couldn't afford it; he forced his own thoughts away. Billy seemed in distress, and he'd made a promise.

He'd been out roaming the surrounding area for safety, aware of Billy's presence not long after he got close. And as he said he would, he'd been stalking the other man. The phone in his pocket buzzed; he pulled it out to read the message.

It made him smile. Curious, that.

Before moving closer, he sent a text back:

No. To your right. For now.

He was confident that Billy wouldn't see him coming.

To the right?

Billy turned his head, brow creasing as he still couldn't make anything out. He turned to scan the other direction, half tripping due to not paying attention and he frowned at himself, devoting his focus to the path ahead.

No laughing.

He watched Billy scan the area, overlooking his vantage point. Well, Billy wasn't trained for this, and that was a good thing. No one should have to endure the kind of training that the Soldier had under HYDRA.

Even so, he didn't like that it put him at risk, no matter that nothing threatened. Considering what Billy had suffered recently, he decided to do something small for him. Something within his power as a trainer.

Your eyes don't know how to see me. Look for me with your magic, and let it lead your sight.

If Billy did he'd find the Soldier crouched amid the rubble of a collapsed wall, blending nearly invisibility with its silhouette.

Billy considered a moment, giving another brief scan like he was sure he could spot him if he just looked hard enough, before he nodded to himself (and to the Soldier, where ever he was).

He murmured under his breath, chanting a spell. Of course that had it's own disadvantages, fingers alight with that blue glow. A ball of light separated from him, drifting off towards the right, before eventually settling over the man in question. Billy tried to scan ahead of it, recognition on his face not long before the spell lit him up for him, but it was a start.

He flushed and offered a small wave.

He waited patiently to see what Billy would do; just because he gave permission for the magic didn't mean Billy would use it. Or that he would want to. But that he did gave the Soldier a chance to observe the process as well, looking for potential hazards or weaknesses. He wouldn't point out what he saw tonight — Billy didn't need that scrutiny right now — but he did note it for another time.

Standing when the light hovered over him, he nodded an acknowledgment of the greeting.

"You won't sneak up on any assassins any time soon," he said by way of greeting. "Fortunate that this is not a test." It wasn't an insult.

Billy laughed and shrugged a shoulder. Definitely not going to be sneaking any time soon.

"Probably not," he agreed, "Guess I should work on that before the whole...space royalty thing, huh?" Billy couldn't seen assassins having too much reason to come after him until then. Though with Lauri-Ell as guard dog maybe it was all right if he wasn't the best at it.

"How long were you tracking me?"

"Depends on which is more useful to you, doesn't it?" Would Billy ever have need of sneaking up on someone? Likely not. But awareness of the places a threat could hide would hopefully give him enough advantage to have time to react.

He stopped before Billy, looking him over. He didn't appear to be in physical distress — not that the Soldier thought he would be, but still.

"Long enough," he replied, stating to lead the way to the shelter Billy had helped find. "You weren't followed."

"I could've teleported I guess," he mused. Just *poofed* right up behind him. But that seemed dangerous in its own way.

Billy wondered if the Soldier could track someone with superspeed. But it was unlikely Tommy was following him right now. And just because he didn't know where the Soldier made camp didn't mean he couldn't find them fast enough if he wanted to by speedy trial and error.

"I would advise against sneaking up on someone like me." Punch first, ask questions later was generally a good reaction, but there were exceptions. "But for slipping away from someone, it might have been easier."

He wasn't going to comment on why Billy felt a need to be apart from his brother; the Soldier understood how suffocating others' intentions could be. If he could provide a space for Billy to feel safe in his reflection and consideration of the situation, that was enough.

"Did you bring whatever you needed to be comfortable for the night?"

"I figured." Not the safest way to approach for sure.

He nodded, glad the Soldier didn't press. "I think so." Billy motioned to his bag, with the unspoken implication that he could take care of anything he'd forgotten. "You're sure you don't mind having someone up in your space?"

He slanted a look at Billy as they walked. "You've already been here; the space is large enough for two. And I don't think you'd be poor company." Billy had been overly considerate, if a little excessively worried about the Soldier's own comfort. He likely wouldn't be impressed now; the space had gained a sleeping bag, and the Soldier's own bag with his few possessions. Interior design it was not. But it was secure; some of the debris and broken furniture had been moved around to create a secluded room of sorts; it wasn't a bad place to sleep.

"You will be pleased that no holes have opened in the roof." Also an important fact, not that it looked like rain.

"I think that might be high praise coming from you," Billy teased lightly.

He didn't expect too much to have changed, though he still wanted to make it into something homier for him, even if that wasn't the Soldier's primary concern.

"Score." Billy offered a hand out for a high five, flashing a teasing grin. "That's something at least."

He considered that for a moment. "I don't know if it's praise for you, or a comment on my own suitability as a roommate. You might be getting the worse end of the experience."

Although it was unlikely that anything would sneak up on them here, just given the Soldier's level of alert at all times. He didn't anticipate sleeping much, just to ensure that Billy had as restful a night as possible.

It was a good plan.

"Yes. It proves you are a good roof spotter." After a moment he raised his hand to tap against Billy's; if he gave off the impression of holding back, well, he was. He didn't want to accidentally hurt him.

"I dunno, I talk in my sleep," Billy warned, "You might get sick of me real fast.

"I'll add it to my resume," he promised, grinning at that delayed response, but it was a start. "Think there's a lot of call of that? Roof spotting?"

"I somehow doubt that." Of the two of them, Billy was probably the better, more considerate roommate.

He frowned, considering how to reply. "In this place? Very likely. There's a lot of damage to a lot of the buildings here. You could be very much in demand." Surely Billy had meant it as a joke, but there was some reality to it.

Billy didn't expect the Soldier to take him seriously, lips quirking in surprise, but he nodded, shrugging a shoulder in acceptance. That was true. He could do some aerial scouting that would be difficult for others.

"So what have you been up to out here?"

Using one's skills in unexpected ways was something of a specialty for him. And if there was one thing Billy needed, it was confidence. Maybe the suggestion would spark his own thoughts about all the things he could do; certainly he seemed concerned with the idea of helping others.

To the question he shrugged, the metal plates of his arm rippling with the motion. "Writing. Recording all the memories of that world before I lose them. And doing some records for Jon as well, of the Fleet."

"All of them?" Billy asked, curious whether that meant the ones from the month they'd been in there, or the lifetime of memories that had come with it. He looked briefly guilty again, for making things that much more difficult for the Soldier when it came to sorting out his past.

"Do you write any other stuff?"

"As many as I can, yes." His memories of that world, and his memories of the memories he had in that place. Whatever he could recall, he recorded. He didn't hold it against Billy, but he didn't know how to explain why he wanted them preserved, when he struggled with them too.

He shook his head, then shrugged. "Mostly memories, when I can recall a new one."

Edited 2021-07-02 02:55 (UTC)

"Maybe you should try your hand at some fiction too? You could be our resident author," he offered.

"Did you eat yet? I packed a few things if you want- or I can magic something if you're craving anything specific?"

"Aren't the memories from the other place a fiction already?" He didn't really write for the enjoyment of it, and didn't know how to tell Billy as much.

"I haven't eaten," he replied, ushering Billy into the shelter ahead of him. "I'm sure anything you brought is fine." Probably better than what he'd scavenged, anyway.

"I guess some of them, yeah." Some were complete fictions, others built off of very real memories. It was fine, Billy just wished the Solider had something...fun. Something that served no benefit beyond enjoyment.

He stepped inside. The place didn't look all that different from the last time he'd been here, not that Billy expected huge changes. He stooped to open up his bag, shooting the Soldier a playful look, "You agree too easily sometimes, you know that? I could have anything in here," he teased, fishing out a few cans of pop and some instant ramen bowls he'd magicked up a while back to stock the Young Avenger's cupboards.

"So there you are. Fiction writing." It wasn't what Billy meant, and he knew it, but he didn't want to dwell too much on hobbies and perceived hobbies. He did just fine; the fact that he could choose his daily activities, the shape of his day, was almost too much freedom sometimes. The feeling was almost heady.

"When you've had to experience your meals intravenously, you tend not to be picky about actual food." Cryo, and the sickness upon being brought out of it, was a bitch. "Besides," he pointed out, "I didn't expect you to be much in the mood for pranks."

Edited 2021-07-05 20:19 (UTC)

Definitely not the same, but Billy wasn't going to argue. He'd just continue with subtle (or not so subtle) pushes to try and find something the Soldier enjoys.

He offered a sympathetic frown. Right. But all the more reason to take advantage of the chance to be gifted anything he might be able to imagine, right?

"Yeah, not really," he admitted with a nod, and his brow creased anxiously, "...do you think Tommy's right?"

Billy was about as subtle as an explosion, but that was fine. He didn't really mind because Billy also didn't push in directions he refused to go, or try to get him to be something he wasn't. At least not so far.

Sitting down against a wall, the Soldier considered his companion and what he remembered of that now deleted conversation. "I don't think I agree with his reasons," he began. "And I don't trust this scientist at all. But the ultimate decision is yours to make."

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