I didn't mean for it to happen

[wearingthestars]

WHO: Billy, Tommy, Bucky/The Soldier, OTA
WHERE: Temba, YA House
WHAT: The aftermath
WHEN: Early June
WARNINGS: TBD



The Return & What Follows (for Tommy)

Billy screamed, and the world dissolved. The Shadow had shielded him from the worst of it, assaulted by those memories in a non stop barrage for however long they were in there, but now he remembered it all. He dimly registered he was back in his calibration room, hoping he'd managed to release the others before he collapsed heavily onto the floor. He shouldn't have been able to perform that level of magic here. And whatever had allowed it abruptly cut it off with his return, utterly drained from the experience.

He was unconscious, in and out of nightmares for days before he finally jolted awake in a cold sweat, practically tumbling from the bed in his race to the bathroom to retch.

What had he done?

Avoidance [OTA]

Even after he awoke, Billy didn't want to leave the house. He was ashamed and scared, and used the excuse of resting for far longer than was true.

A few faces managed to hunt him down there, and it wasn't like Billy could turn them away, eventually relenting and breaking down a few of those barriers.

After that it was a little easier to venture out. It took a few smaller outing before he was able to get as far as the Hospital, but there at least he could focus on work.

(For Bucky/The Soldier)

Billy knew he probably wanted to stay hidden away as much as he did right now, but after what they'd been through together in the other world, he trusted the man to help him with this. Tommy and the others would refuse, but he was confident Bucky would understand. And he needed to apologize.

His magic was still weak, but it led him to the general location where he was meant to be. Billy couldn't quite meet his eye when he found him, swallowing thickly and looking uncomfortable.

"...Hey. Could we talk?"

Apology- Network- Text

I can't begin to make up for what I put you all through this last month. I had no right, and I'm so sorry you all got caught up in this mess.

I know that doesn't begin to make it right.

They did something to me. Like Calibrations...but worse. I don't know how. And I'm not trying to make excuses for what I did but- I'm scared they'll do it again. To any of us. I thought people should know.

Comments

[wearingthestars]

That's...a surprise. Something about the Jedi here has given Billy the impression that they come out of the womb instilled with all the calm and philosophy of a Buddhist monk or something. Obviously they were people, just like anyone else, but to here Ezra share a story that could have easily come out of his own life, and those real, raw emotions that come with it, it helps Billy not feel so alone.

He offers a sympathetic, and grateful look at the same time. "...N'other world sounds like we would've been friends," he mutters with a small smile, since they all ready sort of have the proof of that, "I'm sorry, that's-...I know what that's like."

[ezra_of_lothal]

Ezra smiles back, soft and a little sad.

He'd be surprised to hear anyone saw him as that sort of calm. He wasn't Temple raised, and he had only a few years of training under his belt. He's been working hard, and being around more Jedi has helped.

"I'm sorry, too. Not something I want anyone to have to understand that way. I was kinda hoping to work on being friends in this world?" he offers.

[wearingthestars]

To be fair, Billy really hasn't gotten to know him well enough here to make that call, he's basing it off a lot of assumptions.

"...I'd like that too," he agrees after a moments hesitation, still guilty and a little unsure, but he remembers liking Ezra, and he'd like to see if they can be friends here too.

[ezra_of_lothal]

Ezra's smile gets warmer.

"Well, no comic stand here. Or band, either, although I guess we could try to fix that? In this life, I'm actually not really used to having both friends my age and much free time. We did play...board games sometimes when we were on longer hyperspace jumps, back home."

[wearingthestars]

"I didn't really have friends my age until pretty recently," Billy commiserates, sure Ezra can remember how Billy was a frequent target of the bullies in the false reality and make the connection.

"Wait, you have board games in space?" Why does that seem so strange? Billy's seen some of their world, it's not that weird, but something about it just seems so...anachronistic.

[ezra_of_lothal]

Ezra grins. "Well, usually the pieces were holoprojections," he allows.

"But some of them it wouldn't be hard to make physical pieces. Close enough to make it work."

[wearingthestars]

"You have to teach me," he enthuses, and then flushes a little. "We can...uh...work on recreating it maybe. That'd be a fun project."

[ezra_of_lothal]

Ezra grins back warmly. "Yeah. I'd like that."