revivalproject | A Search for Peace

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A Search for Peace

WHO: Obi-Wan Kenobi and YOU
WHERE: Various locations around Temba
WHAT: Jedi doing Jedi things.
WHEN: During the V-Day Mini Event
WARNINGS: Grumpiness probably

Waking up on his bunk in the Twin Roses one morning came with a surprise. A random pink mothcat plushie having been left for him at the end of his bed with a little card. The Jedi is confused as he has no idea what this is even about, and hasn't yet seen one of these creatures to boot. Even so, he leaves the plush on his bed before going out to do his thing.

A breakfast of food paste stuff and then morning meditation. Except... that's when the confetti starts. Obi-Wan finding himself covered in glitter and confetti and disturbed by any confusion and chatter regarding the stuff in the ship. Where is it even coming from?! Dusting it off, only to get covered with more, the annoyed Jedi leaves the ship only to find that it's happening outside as well.

He is not feeling the love.

Trying to escape the glitter, which is futile, he also attempts to find a place to meditate in peace. He can be found in varying locations, usually initially appearing as a sparkly mound as sitting and being still gets him covered in the glittery stuff raining down on everyone. Though every time someone talks to him or disturbs him in some way, he ends up moving somewhere else.

Ultimately he ends up on top of Cayde's tower. How did he get up there?! It's a mystery. Either way, he's sitting up there, trying to get away from it all and calm his mind.

It's proving very difficult as this ridiculous glitter keeps falling.

Come meditate with him or bother him. The choice is yours.

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The current 'weather' is certainly a test for focus. It's definitely kept Cal from working on anything in the shop. After hastily throwing makeshift tarps over his salvage bins, he'd decided that there was no sense in staying inside if the glitter was just going to get everywhere.

At least his poncho still comes in handy. It's worn out but still serviceable, and more importantly in this moment? It has a hood.

BD-1 seems to be enjoying himself thoroughly in spite of everything. He'd thought the exploding flowers were fun. Now it looks like he's bent on collecting plushies. Cal's carrying a couple of the droid's findings in hand, some birdlike thing and a chunky pink lobster. He watches as BD-1 skitters about here and there, jumping in random piles of glitter before pausing to lift his head as he senses someone familiar. Leaving the droid to follow when he does, Cal starts heading towards Obi-Wan's position.

Obi-Wan was sitting on a rock at the edge of town when Cal came by. The Jedi Master’s own good pulled up to try and keep the glitter from getting into his hair and down into his robes. Though that was only partly successful as just a light breeze would blow the stuff down in there anyway.

He’s trying to meditate but the young man’s presence is a bit hard to ignore in the Force. A glance up and he catches sight of the little droid jumping into a pile of confetti. It would be an amusing sight if he wasn’t just so tired of it all.

“At least someone is enjoying the downpour,” Obi-Wan says from his perch.

Flashing a crooked smile at that, Cal glances from the Jedi Master to the droid who hops about to watch the sparkling trails he leaves. "So long as it doesn't gum up his servos, anyway," he chuckles. He turns back towards Obi-Wan with a small incline of his head. "Sorry if we've disturbed you."

BD-1 beeps and runs back over to Cal, offering a chirping greeting to Obi-Wan before giving a bit of a spin. Yes, definitely enjoying the weird weather.

The Jedi manages a little smile at the droid’s greeting before shaking his head at Cal.

“It seems I’m destined to be bothered today. I may have to take a trip outside of town if I want some true peace.”

He was seriously starting to consider that now that he’s voiced it.

“Though for now I wouldn’t mind if you joined me.”

"Kind of ironic, huh? As big and empty as this place is, and yet you never fail to run into people sometimes." Cal smiles sympathetically at that, although he hasn't been too bothered by being around people. He may have gotten used to it, but here he's also found a place with people he's actually come to consider friends.

The invitation has him lift his head a little before he nods. "All right then." He feels like it's been some time since he's properly meditated, so he steps closer before taking a seat nearby. BD-1 seems familiar enough with the practice that he allows them their space, quieting while he still remains relatively close by.

“Yes, a bit. Though that’s not always a bad thing.”

Most of the time he’s quite happy to have company. Especially these days as he had been forced into seclusion on Tatooine. Still, there are times when he would like to be alone. Having a meditation partner is not something he would argue though.

Thus as Cal settles down next to him, he considers the Padawan a moment. Then he relaxed and closed his eyes. Quieting his mind to immerse himself in the Force.

Cal would agree on that. He may have been used to being on his own and looking out for himself, but it was relieving to be able to befriend people and finally open up to others without worrying about his life being in jeopardy. Finding time alone is something he's not been so keen on going back to, which is part of why he and BD-1 have been nearly inseparable. It might not be approved by Jedi standards to have grown so attached to a droid, but Cal doesn't know what he'd have done or where he would be without his little friend.

The hesitation that the padawan has in getting into the proper mindset is less than it used to be. After the Purge he'd felt his connection to the Force to be damaged, and he'd been reluctant to open himself to it, so haunted by those memories of his master's sacrifice as he was. Cal lets out a long but quiet breath as he closes his eyes and lets himself just take in the atmosphere around them, reaching out through the Force as he quiets his mind.

It wouldn’t be the first time that Obi-Wan has seen a Jedi attached to a droid. Anakin had that habit as well, and he had scolded him for it a time or two. So while it would be frowned upon, he was used to it. Plus he wouldn’t be able to blame Cal seeing as being separated from your people would be hard, especially for someone so young. Wanting a friend is natural.

As things fall quiet between them, the world around them seems to become more alive. The Force is everywhere, just as it should be. He could at least take comfort in that certainty. The Jedi being able to feel the plants around them, the animals, even the rocks. Though most of all the luminous presence of the young man beside him.

As Obi-Wan reached out, his essence brushed against Cal’s. A friendly gesture, and a means to connect.

The hesitation then is much more noticeable, a tension that has Cal draw back at first, almost as though in reflex. He eases back again, inwardly reassuring himself as he reaches out through the Force in turn.

It's been so long since he's ever tried to connect with anyone. He feels like a youngling again, grasping at concepts, putting it into practice, but he's always been a quick study. Back then it was easier, when you were young and eager to excel in training, to do your best. No one had ever thought they would have to hide what they were because the galaxy seemed to turn against you.

Obi-Wan was a patient man and recognized Cal’s struggle. The way the young man recoiled then shyly tried to reach out again was met with no admonishment. There was only a quiet encouragement as he let Cal extend his reach at his own pace.

It was like watching a baby take it’s first steps, or perhaps more accurately, like someone who had forgotten and was relearning. But that was all right. Like a doting parent, he simply waited. Cal would come to him if he wanted to.

There's been so much that Cal had had to relearn. Most of them were the skills necessary for survival in a battle, or getting out of a fix. He'd neglected this part of training, but then Cere had cut herself off from the Force, and there had been no one else who offered. Bearing his burden alone had been nothing new, so Cal had quietly accepted.

Other things also hold him back. Deep down, he's still ashamed for feeling like he'd failed his master that fateful day. It's a shadow that lingers, that manifested during his visit to Dathomir. But he doesn't want to fail another Jedi master, and he can sense Obi-Wan's patience as he tries to work things through. That reach extends as he opens up a little more, taking refuge in the peace of the living Force around them.

Shame and guilt is a crippling feeling, and it's one that Obi-Wan knows very well. As much as Cal doesn't want to fail another master, he doesn't want to fail another young student. Let alone three of them. It seemed that all of them had their burdens to bear. While Obi-Wan wanted to be a strong and positive influence for these young Jedi, did he really have it in him?

There was a feeling of encouragement that emanated from the older Jedi. Cal wasn't failing him, he was doing well. He just needed to stretch those old muscles. It was certain to come back to him. Obi-Wan reached toward him, beckoning the young man to keep going. Keep trying. Even if it was only tiny steps. He could do it. Surrender those feelings to the Force. Let them go.

This is just another step. All things considered, it's under better circumstances, not something rushed back to the forefront out of necessity. Cal's also in good company, and the gentle encouragement from the Jedi master is appreciated. Stretching old muscles indeed.

He's safe here, right now. It's a difficult thing to do, to let down his guard completely, but he begins to do so, ever so slowly, like slowly releasing hold of a railing overlooking a precarious precipice. It becomes easier as he goes, as he remembers. He's just a small part of a larger Force, never alone.

He lets go.

It’s then that Cal will feel a gentle hand on his shoulder, along with a feeling of well done being projected towards him. Obi-Wan could tell how difficult this was for him and he deserved the praise.

It may take several times as these feelings resurface from time to time, but this was indeed a good step in the right direction. Acknowledging ones feelings and releasing them into the Force was progress towards healing. Something that the Jedi Master himself was still working on.

Edited 2021-03-06 15:34 (UTC)

It feels good to have that sort of connection, that subtle praise for managing to get over a hurdle even though it might seem like such a trivial thing. The fact that Obi-Wan understands and they both know where they're coming from is makes it more meaningful, having the support of the Jedi master. It makes Cal feel more at ease.

He knows it won't be so simple as to cast off after a single session of meditation, but already he feels a big difference from the times he's meditated alone. They could encourage each other, and perhaps in time...

Perhaps in time they could feel whole again. Despite the misconceptions about the Jedi, that they are callous and unfeeling people, they greatly relied on strength and support from their peers. Ever since they are younglings they are part of a community.

Now that community is gone, and its left a void. Obi-Wan has felt it keenly even though it’s only been a short time for him. He can only imagine what it’s been like for Cal. But now, in this place, they could build some semblance of that again.

“We should do this again sometime,” Obi-Wan says with a smile.

Being a surviving padawan in the wake of the Purge had been a lonely one. He's gotten so used to having to look out for himself, to keeping everyone at a distance. At least being here has allowed him to start learning to trust people again. There may only be so many of them here, but Cal still had hopes of rebuilding the Order back home, and to be able to reconnect with any Jedi at all is progress to him, even so far away from a place they know.

He finds it easier to smile back at Obi-Wan's words. "We should," he agrees. "...thank you, Master Kenobi."

“Of course,” Obi-Wan says warmly, more than glad that he could help Cal start down a path of healing and revisit the parts of himself that he had buried.

“Just be sure to keep practicing on your own as well.” Those old muscles would need exercise in order to get healthy and strong again after all.

Though there was a pause as a solemn thought came to his mind. “Cal... how old were you when the purge happened?”

"I will," Cal reassures. At least he has a fresh starting point.

The smile fades with the question that comes. "Fourteen," he says quietly. It's hard not to let the memories slip in with that, but that is a day he doubts he'll ever forget.

Obi-Wan inwardly winced at that response. Only fourteen, that was so young. It meant that he hadn’t been training with his master for long, likely only a year or two at most, and hadn’t even finished all his temple studies yet. He missed many of those most important years learning from his mentor.

The Jedi nodded, squeezing Cal’s shoulder gently before taking his hand away. He wouldn’t go into that further, not now, but it was something to think about. It gave him a better understanding of where the young Jedi was coming from.

“I think I may need some time alone for awhile,” he admits. “Something has been asked of me and I’m not certain if I’m able to meet that need. Hopefully, I can find the answers I’m looking for.”

It's not something that Cal feels they'll be able to avoid talking about forever, so pivotal a moment as it had been. Still, he's grateful that Obi-Wan leaves things at that for the moment. He offers another nod.

"I see. Well, I'll leave you to it then." He gets to his feet, scooping BD-1 up as the droid hops towards him. "Thank you again, Master Kenobi," he says, pausing before adding, "And may the Force be with you."

No, it wasn’t something they would be able to avoid forever. The Purge was essentially the Bantha in the room between them. Between all of them really. But it seems better to make it a gradual thing, as they got to know and trust each other better.

As Cal got to his feet, Obi-Wan was a touch regretful to see him go. But what he hadn’t said was this was about him too. He wasn’t sure he could be the mentor and teacher that not only Grogu needed, but that Cal and Ezra would likely need as well. He had failed someone already, and the thought of failing them too was unbearable. Especially after all that they have already been through. But at least Cal would know what was going on if he didn’t come back immediately.

“And with you, Cal. It was my pleasure.”

Cal gives him a faint smile. He's not sure what's on Obi-Wan's mind, but it could be any number of things. He can only leave Obi-Wan to his meditations, to seek answers in the Force. Head tipping in a slight bow, he turns to be on his way with just a small flurry of glitter swirling in his wake.

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A Search for Peace

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