salon

[in_extremis]

WHO: Esteemed, invited guests (everyone).
WHERE: The greenhouse
WHAT: A party! And not the kind of crime that the Agrii commit. Come show them how it is done.
WHEN: During a very long and slow space trip.
WARNINGS: Mark your threads if you get into trouble.


pre-festivity...network?
[Over the shipwide broadcast system that everyone is lucky Tony has not made more liberal use of, accompanied by gently dimming lights as though signalling intermission was coming to an end, and Act II was about to begin.]

Your attention, please. Please give me attention. You're not doing anything important, I know you aren't, so if you would kindly make your way to the quote-unquote 'Green Room', the rest of us are waiting for you.

Wear something that makes you feel delectable.

[Did he have to say it like that? Of course, he's trying to set a mood.]

the event
The atmosphere of the Green Room, which had at other times been a battleground, and a quiet resting place, was what could be called a soiree. Some of it was magic, brought to brief reality by Billy to disappear as the get together came to an end like carriages into pumpkins as their clock ran out, and other things were altogether different kinds of illusions. Like the tree Cayde had worked to fell, hauled up off of the ground to brace in the branches overhead, its dying boughs slouching down toward the ground in winding tendrils that were strung with glittering lights, a fragrant curtain around the area conveniently cleared by the destruction of the tree to give plenty of room to pull a partner into a dance. The music, naggingly familiar to those who called Earth home but distinctly synthetic, was playing through the broadcast system, loudest near the clearing and progressively softer the further away from this hub, but continuous throughout the ship until it felt like a whisper from another room at the farthest points like the cargo bay.

The noise competed slightly with the raucous beckoning of the karaoke machine installed near one end of the Green Room. This corner felt like it hadn't quite received the dress code, dotted with balloons and nearest to what could be described as a sundae bar, with what looked like all of the right textures for a very indulgent ice cream experience. The Agrii were more than happy to help with the food, so be prepared for a less obvious flavour profile.

More (potentially?) savoury options were offered throughout the Green Room, in no centralized location but spread across tables that had obviously be borrowed and dragged from throughout the ship, flanked by equally mismatched seating, flat-enough surfaces, or piles of linens and pillows where the ground was less even. Some of these tables had a datapad left on them, locked to a curious list that could only be checked off and not otherwise tampered with, at least for those not particularly technically inclined. Each item seemed to describe a person, all following a similar format in various levels of complexity, starting simple with, 'Someone with hazel eyes...'

One of these datapads, on a table tucked under a heavy lattice of vines and under the drape of what looked like approximately 40 metres of a sheer silk, started the evening much more blank, only marked at the top with a bold WHAT WE KNOW. That was a broad statement. Surely, everyone had a little of something to contribute to an article like that.

Comments

[in_extremis]

"That's between me and my tailor," Tony replied, but pointed off to the right as he stepped away for them to fan out across the room. He didn't seem as actively engaged in the search as Cayde was, strolling with a hand in his pocket instead of doing any crouching or even bending too far to check under tables, apparently hoping to stumble on their target without much exertion. Eventually, he continued in a wholly ineffective stage whisper to be heard across the room, "We could make you a buoy," and gestured with his free hand in a way that suggested he meant the most embarrassing contraption possible, circling his middle, before starting to laugh at the imagery himself.

The sudden sound in the empty cafeteria echoed, and was followed by a yelp and a crash from the kitchen. It cut Tony off abruptly, and he looked to Cayde, obviously, right to the heart of the matter.

[deal_me_in]

"Pff." He supposed he should have known better, but as Tony sauntered off to the right, Cayde headed down the left. Sure, the sneaking about probably wasn't necessary, but the Exo made a game of it, ducking down so that even his horn was barely seen as he navigated along the tables on the opposite side of the room.

His head abruptly popped up just above table level, brow furrowing to accent his frown. "I'll make you a buoy," he scowled, making sure Tony saw his disapproval before he went back to sneaky mode. He was back up at the abrupt noise in the kitchen, hands up as he caught Tony's look in the obvious 'I did nothing!!' gesture.

Sundance ignored the two, scouting ahead as she flew towards the kitchen.

[in_extremis]

Sundance was welcome to the front lines, with Tony following at a cautious distance, not quite tiptoeing, until they coalesced again at the doors to the kitchen at the far end of the hall. It was then that Tony muttered, "We could make you a real boy," and forgot the sneaking game to giggle again.

The kitchen doors slid open to reveal a fantastic mess. The party certainly hadn't helped, many of the dishes and the scraps still left over from the flurry of food preparation that the Agrii had enthusiastically gone into to make the best possible party foods that they could comprehend, but most of that hadn't been on the floor when they left, and Tony was pretty sure none of them had a fit and turned over that large table. It looked as though something large, and something very hungry had gone on an absolute rampage, tearing the place apart to get to whatever morsels were left over after the celebration. It made Tony reconsider how seriously he was taking the sneaking, and almost take a step back in case whatever was in there still hungered, before he noticed the small, doughy ball that he had assumed been splatted to the floor, sticking all over with hair and dust, give an anxious quiver.

[deal_me_in]

The look Cayde gave Tony as they reunited by the kitchen door was tempered with a smirk, flat as it was. Anything he might have said was promptly forgotten as the mess within was revealed, and the Exo didn't bother to conceal a wince.

"Not cleaning that up," he quickly volunteered, even as Sundance continued inside, inspecting the fallen table. Cayde stepped quietly inside after her, giving Tony a glance as he noticed the man backstep. He paused and then followed the other's gaze towards the lump on the floor, brow arching. With a look back at Tony, he started a little closer, smoothly shifting into a crouching crab walk as he neared, and for a moment it looked like he was going to poke at it before he thought better.

"...hellooo..?" He'd feel pretty stupid if it was just a hairy plate of gelatin, but given the rest of the mess, he was willing to give it the benefit of the doubt.

[in_extremis]

Tony must have very much agreed that cleaning this mess was not going to be part of their investigation, that was going to have to be a task for the cleaning crew, which a ship this size surely had, he'd have hired a small army, because he didn't even cross the threshold into the kitchen. He lingered still a step back into the dining hall, hands behind his back, and slowly leaned slightly forward to watch with keen interest as Cayde approached the mass. He raised a lip in disgust as the Exo looked like he might even touch it.

To Cayde's greeting, it gave another little shiver, then flopped over onto its side with a pathetic whine, showing all of its multiple legs and the uncomfortably stuffed belly of unrestrained indulgence. To this, Tony went, "Oh," feeling no more interested in entering the ruined kitchen, but did relax slightly with the quarry successfully located. After a beat, he pointed out, "It's itsy bitsy. I might even consider it teenie weenie."

[deal_me_in]

It was an obvious option, wasn't it? When the glob suddenly flopped over, the Exo retracted his hand, head tilting as the side that presented itself was certainly more recognizable than the top portion, for whatever mess it had dove into.

Tony's observations made Cayde chuckle, even as he carefully reached out again to give the poor thing a light pat on its bulging belly. "No polka dots," he said, almost disappointed. "I don't suppose there's a hose or something..." He mused aloud, even as he looked for a sink. Carrying an overstuffed, potentially sticky pooch was not his idea of fun, even though he wasn't one hundred percent sure on the sticky part, but such circumstances practically dictated that there was.

[in_extremis]

Very helpfully, Tony leaned slightly further through the doorway to provide, "There's a sink," as though Cayde hadn't worked that one out already. Apparently, as far as he was concerned, his job was done, and his posture suggested he might have glanced at his watch if he had one. "Come on, it's gotta be passed his bedtime, what are you doing in there, playing with it?" he heckled from his secure spot outside of the mess and the immediate problem of the gross animal.

[deal_me_in]

There was a long moment where Cayde considered what the consequences would be if he'd suddenly lobbed the bikini at Tony. With his back mostly to the man still lingering at the door, the Exo grinned to himself as he imagined Tony's reaction to a sudden face of armful of sticky, bloated fuzz.

"...that might just make more of a mess," he decided, finally sucking it up and scooping the poor creature into his hands. "C'mon, let's get you at least a little more presentable before we take you home."

Sink located, the Exo would give the creature as best a rinse as he could manage. With Sundance in tow, they'd make their way back towards Tony, whereupon Cayde would happily thrust the soggy ball of fluff into his arms with a big ol' grin.

[in_extremis]

Oh, oh no, Tony could see this coming from an eternity away, but there was no graceful way to skitter backward in a disgusted panic. Instead, he took the weight of the fat, little thing into his at one time luxuriously pressed, white cotton chest, arms up instinctively before it could spill to the floor, where it dripped down his front and sleeves, oh god, he could feel it dripping, as it panted anxiously. "My shirt," he whined, looking at Cayde like this betrayal was a bullet wound. "I haven't been dressed in months."

Holding the wet bikini just like that, arms out with his hands splayed like it would be okay if he didn't actually handle the animal, he started an awkward shuffle back the way they had come. Much less distinguished than their entry.

[deal_me_in]

"It's served its purpose," Cayde said solemnly, even though it was horribly spoiled by his mischievous expression. He gave Tony a pat on the back with a wet, gloved hand. "I'll get you a new one." He had no idea where, but he made a mental note he hoped not to forget, all the same.

So went the strange procession to reunite the soaked furball with its Agrii owner. At least Tony was already wet so any moist hugs to follow would hardly be noticed. Not that the Exo planned on throwing the man to the sharks, so to speak. He walked along with Tony, genuinely happy that they managed to carry through with their impromptu mission.